In a bad mood, any good jokes?

The fox was walking in the street and met the old wolf head-on. The old wolf reached out and gave him a big mouth: "Let you not wear a hat." The fox came home depressed and put on a hat. The next day, I met the old wolf and got a big mouth: "Let you wear a hat." If so, he is always beaten several times. The fox thought that it was not a problem to be beaten often. No, I have to complain to the tiger. Just arrived at the door of the tiger's house, I heard the tiger talking in the house: "You can't always be so unreasonable when you hit the fox. If the fox comes to me to complain in the future, I won't be able to keep you. " At least we can get by on the surface. I'll teach you a trick. Next time you see a fox, tell him: Bring me some clothes. He brought you soap, so you beat him up and said I wanted washing powder, but who told you to get the soap? He brought washing powder, you can call and say I want soap, but who told you to bring washing powder? Why don't you tell him to find me a woman? He finds you a fat one, and you beat him up and say I want to be thin; I'll find you a thin one, and you can beat me up and say I want to be fat. If it's not over, you can hit him, and my face will make sense. Hearing this, the fox said, well, let's stop complaining and go home. The next day, the fox met the old wolf in the street again. The old wolf shouted, "go and find me some washing machines." "The fox takes his time." Do you want washing powder or soap? "Hearing this, the Lao lang, huh? Very good at it. He said, "Go and find me a woman. The fox is still in no hurry: "Do you want to be fat or thin?" "The Wolf was silly, there is no reason to hit it. But the wolf only hesitated for a while and beat the fox again, saying, "Don't wear a hat!" " "I'm crazy (jokes) (1). A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start? Patient: Because I am a bird ... (2) A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears? The patient replied, then I can't hear you. The doctor listened: mm-hmm, it's normal. The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again? The patient replied, then I won't watch it. The doctor is getting nervous. How could he not see it? The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off. (3) Two mental patients escaped from the hospital. They ran and climbed a tree. One of them jumped from the tree and rolled and rolled. Then he looked up and said to the man above, hey, why don't you come down? The person above answered him: No-OK-Ah-I'm not familiar with it yet ... (4) There is an old lady in a mental hospital who squats at the gate of the mental hospital wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella every day. The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her. So the doctor also wore black clothes, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her. They were silent for a month, and the old lady finally said to the doctor, are you a mushroom, too? (5) When a mental hospital heard that the leader was coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, the dean called the patient to a meeting. At the meeting, the dean said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and all the people will go to the door to meet them. When welcoming, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate and stand neatly. When I cough, everyone applauds together, the warmer the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, we can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will eat steamed buns, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!" This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the patient who welcomed him was already standing at the door. At this time, as the dean coughed, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. Infected by the warm atmosphere, the visiting leaders smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only this leader is still smiling and clapping, and the dean is very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "You don't want to eat steamed bread?"