A few humorous jokes. Thank you. Please answer them quickly.

Classic joke: Burying grievances on the platform of the station, a couple are complaining to each other. The husband looked at the second bus that had left and said to his wife, "It's all your fault! If you hadn't dawdled, we would have taken this train. " "It's all your fault!" The wife replied, "If you hadn't been urging us, we wouldn't have to spend a lot of time waiting for the next train." Classic joke: eavesdropping on sexual intercourse at night. A new eunuch, afraid of falling asleep and not hearing the emperor's orders, hid under the bed without authorization. I found it the next morning. The emperor said, "Well, how long have you been a slave under my bed?" The eunuch knelt on the ground and replied, if you go back to the emperor, the slave will stay under the bed for five more days. "What did you hear?" In another day, you and the queen will appreciate this painting. "What do you mean?" Listen to you and the empress say ... "Come and let me see your breasts." "What about the second watch?" "It seems that you fell to the ground on duty for the second time." "What do you mean?" "Listen to the empress: come on up!" "Night and day?" You seem to be eating crabs. ""What do you mean? " "Whatever you say: break your leg!" "What about the fourth class?" "It seems that your mother-in-law is coming in four days. ? "What do you mean?" "I heard the queen shout," Oh, my mother, oh, my mother! ! ! ！” "What about the fifth watch?" "You are playing chess with the empress." "What do you mean? "The slave listened to the queen and said," One more shot, one more shot! ! ! ! "