Han Fuqu's jokes in his university speech?

Cheeloo university Celebration Speech Han Fuqu Ladies and gentlemen, ladies, ladies, brothers and sisters, men and women: Good evening! Do you know today is the day of the meeting? (pretending to be mysterious) Today is speech day! Today is the day of the meeting! The guests are very prosperous, and I really caught a cold. (in high spirits) There are many people present at the meeting today! Is everyone here? It seems that at least eight fifths (8/5) have come! Forget it, forget it (extremely impatient), forget it if you come, please raise your hand if you don't come! (Scanning the audience) No one raised their hands. All right, everybody's here! (in high spirits) You all came here in luxury. I really caught a cold! (Bowing and thanking) Today, brother, I called everyone here, mainly to give a lecture. If there is anything wrong with my brother, we should understand each other, because my brother and I can't compare. You are all literate, college students, middle school students and international students. You rabble are all studying science and chemistry, and you know English in several countries. Dude, I'm a clown. (Shake your head, pause) You all climbed out of the fence, and I climbed out of the gun barrel, so compared with you, I really stand out from the crowd! (Sighs) Today, I can stand here and give a lecture with you, which really makes me proud and grateful. Actually, I'm not qualified to talk to you, so talking is like-like-talking to a cow! I won't say much today. Let's start with three outlines: the new life movement of Chairman Chiang Kai-shek. I applaud with both hands, that is, there is one: pedestrians walk on the right and think about it for a few days. It is really inappropriate and chaotic. Everyone is sensible. Think about it, pedestrians go to the right, so who will go to the left? (Angry) One more thing, brother. I can't figure it out. Foreigners set up embassies in China. As the saying goes, why don't we China people build embassies on our own turf? To put it bluntly, I think China people are too weak, aren't they? (In a consultative tone) I went to the university girls' school yesterday and saw the students holding a basketball match. Boy, a dozen people are fighting for a ball in their underwear. How ugly. Everyone is educated. What's it like? If it weren't for the corruption of your dean, how could the school be so poor? Buy more balls and give each one to avoid fighting with each other. It is decent! (I want to send it for a long time) Well, let's call it a day. Dude, I should go, too (Make an evacuation form and go back) [Transfer from the Iron Blood Community/] Oh! Remember to collect some money from my mansion tomorrow and buy a ball for those poor girls! (leaving with joy)