Please provide some jokes, thank you!

1: A woman ran into a dead end after being chased by a cannibal because she was frightened and wet her pants. The cannibal saw it and cursed: it's a pity that the soup was spilled.

2. An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a critically ill patient wearing an oxygen mask: Hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!

An ant said to the elephant, "I have it, it's yours!" " "The elephant fainted after hearing this, and when he woke up, he said to the ant," I want another one! " "Hearing this, the ant was scared to death!

4. During the rush hour in Spring Festival travel rush, the train was very crowded, and a gentleman took advantage of the parking to put his fart out of the window to defecate. The inspector at the bottom of the car found it and shouted: Fat man and cigar, take your head back.

It is very convenient for Jane Doe to enter the public toilet. He is worried that he forgot to bring paper, and a pile of toilet paper will come out from the crack in the next wall. "Thank you, who are you?" "You're welcome, I'm Lei Feng."

6. When the Minister of Family Planning visited the countryside, he met an old farmer and asked, "Hometown, do you know why close relatives can't get married?" The old farmer rubbed his hands and said lightly: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe, relatives, it's too familiar to start.

7. Imperial edict: Bring goods to heaven, and the emperor summoned: Because you don't love me, you are not allowed to shit for three days, and you are not allowed to bring paper to your death! A Cheng, get the newspaper!

8. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jonina. She fell in love with a girl named Shade. They look at the stars together. When the meteor crossed the sky, they named it Jonina Shading Star.

9: The mouse calls the cat: Hello! The meal is ok! Come down, Missy! The cat lay prone on the mouse hole and stretched out its front paws to take the mouse out. I dug all night and continued digging the next day.

10: the little mosquito came home crying, and his mother asked, what's the matter? Mozzie: Dad is dead! Mother Mosquito: He didn't take you to the show? Mosquito: Yes, but when the audience applauded, Dad didn't dodge.

1 1: bee girl shows off her spider boyfriend: at least he has his own personal website.

12: Psychological test: If you race with a bear, you would like to: 1. You run faster than a bear; 2. Run as fast;

13. You run slower than a bear …

Answer: 1. You're not just a beast; 2. You are an animal; You don't look like a bird and beast.

14: This is an eternal story. A long time ago, a young man lost his beloved girl. He went through a lot of hardships and came to the girl. The girl said to him affectionately, "how about ... get out!" "

15: The hunter saw a bird in the sky, but it missed three times, but the bird still fell. It turned out that the bird patted its chest when it didn't hit the neutron bomb and said, scared to death, scared to death!

16: I saw a penny on the roadside and was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. Damn it, who threw up so round?

17: In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. "

18: The blind and the lame ride together, and the lame watch the road. Suddenly, he saw a deep ditch and shouted: Gougougou! The blind man turned around and sang: Ole Ole Ole! So they fell into the ditch!

19: I miss those days very much. You wriggled in front of me and walked down the country road with your head down. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Oh, it's so beautiful and clean! Also praised me: what a good boy, such a small grade came out to release pigs!

20: Another chance encounter. Your big watery eyes look at you with emotion. I tried to avoid your sight in panic, but you followed me. I know how you feel, so I ran over and shouted, Whose dog is not tied?

2 1: This is a very old legend:

Midnight, 12 o'clock, pick up the phone and press 12 zero, and you will hear it. . .

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. You Dial. Yes Electricity. Words. Yes Empty. Number. . .

There will be a meteor shower tonight. It is said to belong to the constellation Big Pig. A big pig will fall from the sky. Too bad I want to sleep. You're gonna be okay. So many people watch you fly!