Zhang Ming’s joke has endless two interpretations

1One day, the rabbit, unfortunately, fell into a box and turned out to be a duck. Do you know why? This box stands on the transformer. . .

Two nights of self-study, the teacher said: Don’t think I don’t know the phone call you made - no one would stare at his crotch and laugh without any reason. . .

Three nights later, my daughter impatiently called her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, so there must be another woman!" The mother comforted her softly: "Silly boy, be good, don't think too much. Maybe the worst thing is the accident!"

4 The puppet got a girlfriend and was full of joy. Unexpectedly, within a few days, my girlfriend suddenly said: Little Puppet, I never want to have sex with you again. Every time I get poked with sawdust, it hurts! The sad puppet went to the carpenter to find a solution. The carpenter said to him: "This is simple, you just use sandpaper to polish it. A few days later, the civilized carpenter asked: Have my girlfriend and I reconciled? The little puppet replied: Who needs a girlfriend to sandpaper? < /p>

Looking at the 5-year-old grandma who was buying a laptop, she asked: This is hell, what do you want to know these days? Grandma: Is this good? I asked a few questions. . Baidu then opened. I: -! Find out. Grandma: Where did you die? I: Can you change the question? Me: .... ..! Grandma: I can’t find anything Han Chinese!

A man had a showdown with his girlfriend. Woman: Give me a reason to break up. Woman: Not applicable? : Inappropriate gender.

7 spent one hundred and fifty dollars to cut a very abstract head. At this time, there was a long silence from several roommates in the dormitory. The conclusion is: the cost is high, such a hairstyle only costs one hundred and fifty, and one hundred and fifty heads are cut off. " 8 TVs were taught how to deal with children in danger. I want to test my 2-year-old son and pretend to faint to see what he does! The son shouted: "Mom, Mom, what's wrong with you?" The broken hand broke my eyes and said, "Mom, are you really dead?" After waiting for a while, I didn't hear what happened to him. By squinting my eyes, I saw my son counting money in his wallet. . .

9 Just to take advantage of my colleague leaving his computer desktop and pressing the print button, taking a screenshot and setting it as desktop. The original files are on the desktop, then move everything to a folder on disk so the desktop looks the same as usual. He came back and clicked the mouse frantically, but there was no response! Until it turns off, turns on, turns off, turns on, turns off, turns on...

A pair of lovers are cuddling sweetly in the park. The men see that the woman's hair is so soft, they can't help it, but they secretly touch it, and the woman is tender and tender. Said: "Oh! Hate it!"

The men felt itchy after hearing this, so the woman he was sneaking around also said: "Okay, I don't want you anymore!"

The men's hearts flew. The woman who had stood up and was touching herself suddenly stood up and said gruffly: "Don't touch!" Almost lost my wig! "

11 was traveling with a couple. When the train they were riding passed through a long tunnel, the man said: "If you knew the tunnel was so long, I would give you a kiss! ”

“That day! "The woman shouted, "It's just that you don't kiss me? ?"

12 When Lao Zhang went to get an injection, many people were waiting in the hospital.

"Mr. Zhang was a little anxious for a long time. He opened the door of the injection room and heard someone say: "Today is the last day for your internship evaluation!

Mr. Zhang, the next jump is the opportunity for the internship nurse, I will hide!

He went out for a walk, After returning home, he discovered that no one from the hospital approached the injection room and heard "These children are suffering from patients, you are doing a good job!" "

Old Zhang Le walked in and said: "Get an injection!

An old nurse saw his smile and shouted: "The nurse just didn't pass on the makeup."

”

13 I was alone in a rented house after taking a bath for more than 10 nights. As usual, I lay on the bed and sent messages to my girlfriend. I was too sleepy and finished lying down for a while. After a few phone calls, she woke up. After arriving, I found that the message sent at 12 o'clock was nothing more than "Why didn't you reply?" and "He was asleep" were short-circuited, so in my mind, the reply message passed: "He has been sleeping..."

As a result, my girlfriend’s cell phone has been turned off today...

14 high school students came to buy a music teacup foundation. The ring was exposed to the light foundation, and the result was placed in the drawer. . Forget it, open the drawer, ring! Ring! Stop...the teacher is angry, the students are all on the ground, no one can sit in front of the window! The gorgeous base was thrown out! The classmates and teachers were shocked. After a few seconds, the teacher came to his senses and said, "Don't be so ruthless." My eyes are so tangled...

At noon today on the 15th, we went to the school cafeteria, Shaxian snacks (everyone who has eaten them knows this). I ordered steamed dumplings, and look, my waiter can still go down. There was no table in the cafeteria to put down a plate of vinegar, so I went back to get the dumplings. When I came back, I looked at my watch and saw that no one had taken away my vinegar! Okay, I'll go back to the dish! GC, it's my steamed dumpling! ! 16 The little nephew likes to answer the phone, so I won't give it. Anyone who left the phone at home called my little nephew’s girlfriend and picked it up. My girlfriend suddenly made an innocent move and wanted to tease the little nephew. Who is the nephew? What do you want to buy? Girlfriend: I’m looking for you. Nephew: You. Who is it? Girlfriend: My nephew is your aunt, silent for a few seconds: Aunt Mary? - Secondly, my cell phone fryer, my girlfriend ran away from home - My nephew called over and asked his girlfriend first , and then after telling the uncle's name, the nephew understood and was very serious - asked his girlfriend to explain that Mary is my sister-in-law, brother's wife, the girlfriend did not believe it, and became anxious, I put the phone through, so he turned on the hands-free repeat table, and Her nephew answered the phone - Nephew: Who are you, are you looking for me?, Girlfriend: I'm looking for you, Nephew: Who are you, Girlfriend: I'm your aunt, I was silent for a few seconds, my heart lifted. The little guy: Uncle's girlfriend - Huhu, I smiled and looked at him, girlfriend, her face also improved - Girlfriend: I said you naked uncle's girlfriend, nephew was silent for a few seconds, HLL come He said: Oh, Aunt Mary - I will choke them and just spray nosebleeds...

Complete list of interesting lyrics that you misheard

1. The theme song of Ikkyu Japan, Geji Geji, Jige, Gejigeji, Auntie washes the spittoon. . . . . . . . . . . It’s just one word: playing the drum, "My dad always heard it as a "big butt"." He also wonders what the kid does tilting his butt up here to do?

3. The first time I listened to Zhao Yonghua's "The Most Romantic Thing", the phrase "The most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you." I listened: "The most romantic thing, I All I can think of is selling computers with you! "Thinking about Zhongguancun's advertising.

4. Process Lin Xintianyou "," The wild geese heard my song, and the river kissed my face. "Listen: "The uncle heard my song, and he kissed my face. I think this is Women's business!

The "Theme Song" of Ren Xianqi's version of "Return" to The Legend of the Condor Heroes made me sad Ye Hao, and made me drunk... "I always listen to "The Sheep Country is Sad Ye Haoyang" Guo was drunk or..." Huh? Why can't the old actor get through it! ! ! ! !

He put his hand on the waist of the weight loss commercial on TV, staggered out and said: " If you want to lose weight, why not Soft? ” I heard it become “If you want to lose weight, why don’t you use your hands?” "I thought, light hands, how can you lose weight?

7. Still a child, Donald Duck "Ah oh, the show started, it was heard as: "Ah oh, damn, wild boar! < /p>

8. My colleague listened to Jeff Chang's "Love Like Tide" and asked me if I was confused: "Why did he sing 'Promise me, you can't do it either, in the middle of the night' (wandering)?" "

9. It was the first time I listened to Tong Ange's "Ye Li Ya Girl". I was so surprised when I heard: "Wild donkey, mysterious wild donkey!" ?

10. "Listen to my mother telling us about the past. We sat next to a high pile of bones.

Listen: The scene of us sitting on a high pile of bones and piles of bones emerged. In my mind, sweat!

11, listen to "Unforgettable Love Tonight": Goodbye, goodbye, meet in the morgue... Meet on the color screen before.

12. I have been listening to Elva Hsiao's "Love's Title Song" for a long time. "What I sang, I think you are the original title song." "Title Song" I always mistakenly thought it was "Brother Zhu" or "Brother Pig". Who knows the lyrics?

On the 13th, Eason Chan said "Thousands of doors, one person has to leave first." Every time I hear "Kiss Gate Street, one person has to leave."

14 , Jay Chou's "Qili Xiang", there is "Rain All Night" that I always listen to You Are Blind.

15. Stefanie Sun's "magical" song says: "We are all wearing gauze..." No matter how I hear it, it always says "We are wearing pants..."

p>

16 Video search for a song "Laugh" suddenly became "Is it easy to urinate", I think MM is sick!

17th century ago, Jay Chou's "Love", "Staring at my screen, I heard: You are my bowl!

18th, Gao Shengmei's "Millennium Waiting" "Once upon a time", "The water of the West Lake, my tears are listened to" The daughter of water is in law, my tears, I listen: "Laundry water, my tears!"

On the 19th, Tao Qingying welcomed his sisters to stand up "internally", and then waited for Qiu "to listen easily, and then waited for a round of sweating to death!"

On the 20th, when Macau returned? The first sentence of the popular "Song of Macau" is: "You know Macau is not my real surname. I always thought it was a sesame cake. I can't eat it. I am real!" "

21, I was shocked recently when I heard Super Girl Zhang Hanyun's "Sour and Sweet is Me" as "...It's the real me, and my wishes are fresh every day"... Consciousness, this little girl is so bold! I have to listen to it several times in the future. It turns out that "every day is very new to me"

22, listen to Liang Jingru>, there is a saying: "Cicada sleeps" , sleep quietly, listen to "Eat and Sleep", and then say loudly: "You guys have such vivid lyrics!

23, Sun Nan "should be there or square", you don't know, the ears of time are out What question was asked of "Oh, is there a climax or is it a square" Whenever I hear the song from the video store, I always think that the song is - "Oh, Cambodia....

24, There is a song, Every day the fire is blown outside the university dormitory, the big red sail, welcome to the wind, I always listen to the big red sail "Sheep Epilepsy"

25, listening to Changming's "Country Road": Walking in the Country On the small road, the old cow returning at dusk is my companion. I think: on the country road, the turtle and the cow are my companions.