Who can list a few humorous jokes about computers? Thank you!

1. One day, my cousin and her cousin were talking together, and they talked about the computer.

Cousin: Cousin, I bought a computer last year.

Cousin: Why haven’t I seen you use it?

Cousin: I got a virus just after I bought it.

Cousin: Didn’t you ask someone to repair it?

My cousin said proudly: I haven’t turned on my phone for a year, and the virus hasn’t starved to death!

2. We managers are very busy, so our words are always short and powerful. One day, a colleague's computer was infected with a virus, so he reported to the manager: "My computer is infected, what should I do?" The manager said: "Then commit suicide!" Colleague: "..." (sweating) was later explained as: Kill viruses yourself

3. A disciple who had just learned to surf the Internet asked Confucius: "Teacher, I received an e-mail, an e-mail."

"Oh, really?" Confucius said with a smile: "Is there a friend coming from afar? It's a pleasure."

The disciple still had no idea: "But, what should I do?"

Confucius kindly held the disciple's shoulder and said, "Don't be disrespectful when you come back. "Yes."

The disciple was not satisfied and asked: "Teacher, I should reply to him?"

Confucius nodded: "Xianzai, please reply."

The disciple was still worried: "There is a link in that person's email, can I click it?"

Confucius thought for a while and said, "Yes."

A few days later, the disciple asked again: "That person keeps sending me the same emails. It's really annoying."

Confucius frowned: "It's tolerable, but what's intolerable?"

< p>4. One day I was chatting with a strange girl online, and I asked him what he looked like. He told me that I was 163cm tall and had long hair. I asked her if she could be more specific. She said this is not specific yet, how could she be more specific? I said if I take a 163cm long mop and turn it upside down, it will look exactly like you. In an instant, I was pulled from her friend list and put into her blacklist. ...

5. The fly and the mosquito met online, and the mosquito was excited: "My online name is to the point, you are..." The fly: "Don't worry about who I am? I can see the spider crawling over, drooling..."

6.〖The Gender of Computers〗

Mr. Bill and Ms. Gates are both computer fans and often discuss computers together. One day, they got into an argument about the gender of the computer.

Ms. Gates believes that computers are masculine and listed eight reasons:

1. She knows a lot of things, but she doesn’t understand the style.

2. Always need backup.

3. When I didn’t buy it, it was shiny, but after I bought it, I found it was dull.

4. If you want him to work, you have to give him an electric shock.

5. If you press the right button, he can do whatever you ask him to do.

6. Don’t know how to be subtle at all.

7. Often knocked down by sudden changes in voltage.

8.The best is always next.

Mr. Bill believes that computers are women and listed eight reasons:

1. Use complex programs to do simple things.

2. Very picky about everything.

3. I can hear you speak, but I may not be able to understand you.

4. I have been doing the same thing for many years, and one day I suddenly realized that it was wrong.

5. Always asking you to throw away the trash.

6. Ask her what’s wrong and the answer is always “nothing”.

7. If there is a "little" missing, she will go on strike.

8. Things go wrong at an alarming rate.

7.〖If cars developed like computers〗

A Microsoft computer engineer met a Detroit automotive engineer.

The computer engineer laughed at the automobile engineer and said: "The development of your automobile industry is really too slow."

The automobile engineer retorted: "We are launching new models every year, and now Luxury cars already use 8-cylinder engines, how can this be called slow?"

The computer engineer laughed: "If car technology develops as fast as computer technology, do you know what it would be like now?"

“Let’s talk and listen.

”

So, the computer engineer listed the following results on a piece of paper:

1. Most cars now have 32 cylinders instead of 8 cylinders.

< p>2. The speed of the car should reach 10,000 miles per hour.

3. The standard weight of a car is about 30 pounds. 4. One gallon of gasoline can travel 1,000 miles. /p>

5. Each car sells for less than $50.

Microsoft’s computer engineers thought that the automotive engineers would be surprised and ashamed. Unexpectedly, the automotive engineers sneered: “But who. Would you buy a car that breaks down more than three times a day? ”