Funny jokes about poetry

1. Funny ancient poems and jokes are best for children

Su Dongpo and Su Dongpi Before, there were two schoolchildren who were worshiping the Confucian Temple. Schoolboy A looked at the plaque " The word "Confucian Temple" was read: "Big Temple."

Student B corrected him and said: "Don't read 'Big Temple', read Zhang Miao." The two were arguing, and a young monk happened to come. After walking out of the temple, the two hurriedly went up to ask.

The young monk said: "I want to go to Hua Qi, and I don't have time to listen to your arguments." When the two schoolchildren heard this, they felt something was wrong. The monk was Hua Zhai, so why did he say it was Hua Qi? "So the three of them started arguing.

At this time, a teacher came from outside with a "Dictionary" in his hand. The three of them stepped forward to stop him and asked him to comment on who was right and who was wrong.

The teacher said: "Don't be busy, wait for me to look up the calligraphy and music. When the three of them heard this, they were both angry and funny. They all grabbed the teacher and said, "You are a teacher, but you still mispronounce the words and mislead others."

Let’s go to court! "The four of them came to the county government office where the plaque "Sai Dongpo" was hung. The county official was originally an unlearned guy, but he pretended to be elegant.

When he asked what happened, he chanted A few "poems" like this: I am known as "Saidongpi", and the temple is rare in the Wen Dynasty. A large temple can be used as a temple, and the two scholars should go to the Qi Dynasty. Sir, don't ask me, monk. Might as well go to Huaqi.

I am not Su Dongpi. Some interesting things about Dongpo and Foyin are familiar to everyone.

Su Shi was demoted. In Huangzhou, in the past, friendships were all cut off because of Mingzhe's protection. Su Shi's greatest hobby in life was making friends, and he couldn't even tell which was more important, poetry or making friends.

People who were born to make friends suffered many setbacks within a few days. They were imprisoned because of their poems, and they were betrayed and separated from their relatives. They came to Huangzhou in fear and depression. They wandered around in the morning and night, drinking to relieve their sorrows. They had so many friends in the past that they now no longer have. People care about him.

If Su Shi was just like this, he would not be Su Dongpo. In Huangzhou, he finally let go of his youthful arrogance, and his soul instantly glowed with a charming and heart-stringing brilliance, shining on the subsequent generations of China. In the eyes of modern people, no one can cover up the brilliance of Chibi before and after. "Huangzhou made Su Shi, and Su Shi also made Huangzhou."

Su Dongpo is not Su Shi, but he thinks Su Shi is in Huangzhou. It is because of the Buddha's seal on Mount Lu that he can be sublimated and become the real Su Dongpo. Stop talking nonsense, here are some interesting stories between the two of them, which are interesting and full of wisdom.

A dumb couplet. , Su Shi and Foyin took a boat trip in the river. Su Shi smiled and pointed to a dog gnawing on bones on the river bank.

Master Foyin responded quickly and took out a handful of poems inscribed by Dongpo. The fan was thrown into the river. The two looked at each other and laughed.

Su Shi smiled and pointed at the dog chewing bones on the river bank, which read the first couplet: The dog chewed the bones of the monk on the river! Master Yin threw a fan with poems by Dongpo into the river, which is the correct second line: Dongpo's poems (corpse)! The boy went to the Buddha's seal and asked, "What do you want to take?" Su Shi said, "You will know it when you see it." . Foyin asked: What do you want to take? The book boy said: You will know it as soon as you see it.

Foyin looked at the book boy and wrapped a bag of things for the book boy to take away. The boy went home and gave the bag to Su Shi and asked, "Master, is this the bag?" Su Shi smiled and said, "Yes! What is it?"

The boy wore a straw hat. , wearing a pair of clogs, hiding a riddle: tea. Su Shi went to Jinshan Temple to visit Master Foyin while eating grass on Sandongpo. Unexpectedly, the master was not there, and a young novice came to open the door.

Su Shi Ao. The voice said: “Where is the bald donkey? ! ". The young novice pointed to the distance and replied: "Eat grass on Dongpo! "What do you think, the poster said?

2. Funny ancient poems and jokes are best for children

Su Dongpo and Su Dongpi

Once upon a time, two schoolchildren were worshiping the Confucian Temple. Student A looked at the plaque on The word "Confucian Temple" was read: "Big Temple." Student B corrected him and said: "Don't read 'Big Temple', read Zhang's Temple."

Two people were arguing, and a young monk happened to be there. After walking out of the temple, the two hurriedly went up to ask. The young monk said, "I want to go to Hua Qi, and I don't have time to listen to your arguments." When the two schoolchildren heard this, they felt something was wrong. The monk was Hua Zhai, so why did he say it was Hua Qi? "So the three of them started arguing.

At this time, a teacher came from outside with a "Dictionary" in his hand. The three of them stepped forward to stop him and asked him to comment on who was right and who was wrong. The teacher said: "Don't be busy, wait for me to look up the ziqu. "When the three of them heard this, they were angry and funny. They all grabbed the teacher and said, "You are a teacher, but you still pronounce the wrong words and mislead others. Let's go to court! "

The four of them came to the county government office where the plaque "Sai Dongpo" was hung. The county official was originally an unlearned guy, but he pretended to be elegant. When he asked what happened, he chanted A few "poems" like this:

I am known as "Saidongpi", and the temple is rare in the Wen Dynasty.

It can be a big temple or a temple. Two scholars can go and combine it. .

Sir, please don’t ask me.

I am not Su Dongpi.

A few interesting things about Foyin

Everyone is familiar with Dongpo and Foyin. Su Shi was demoted to Huangzhou. In the past, his friends were all cut off because of Mingzhe's protection, and they either avoided or dealt with Su Shi throughout his life. Apart from writing poetry, his greatest hobby is making friends. I can’t even tell which one is more important, writing poetry or making friends. Within a few days, a person born to make friends suffered many setbacks. He was imprisoned for his poems, and was separated from his relatives in fear. In Huangzhou, he wandered around in the morning and night, drinking to soothe his sorrows. He had so many friends in the past that no one cares about him anymore. If Su Shi was just like this, he would not be Su Dongpo. In Huangzhou, he finally let go of the arrogance of his youth, and his soul suddenly disappeared. The radiance that radiates the heartstrings shines into the eyes of generations of people in China. No one can cover up the brilliance of Red Cliff before and after. "Huangzhou made Su Shi, and Su Shi also made Huangzhou." Su Dongpo is not Su Shi. , Si believes that Su Shi's Buddhist seal on Mount Lu in Huangzhou can be sublimated and become the real Su Dongpo. Stop talking nonsense, here are some interesting stories between the two, which are interesting, but full of wisdom.

1

Dumb couplets

One day, Su Shi and Foyin took a boat trip in the river

Su Shi smiled and pointed to the bones being chewed on the river bank.

Master Foyin reacted quickly, took out a fan with poems written by Dongpo and threw it into the river.

The two looked at each other and laughed. .

Su Shi smiled and pointed at the dog gnawing bones on the river bank, which read the first couplet: Dog gnaws (monk) bones on the river! Throwing the fan into the river is the correct second line of Poe's Poems: The Flood of Dongpo's Poems (Corpse)

2

A riddle

One day, Su Shi let The boy put on a straw hat and a pair of wooden clogs and went to get something from the Buddhist seal.

The boy asked: What do you want to get?

Su Shi said: Take a look. You will know.

The boy went to the Buddha's seal and said, "Master asked me to take something."

The book boy said: Master said that you will know it as soon as you see me.

Foyin looked at the book boy and wrapped a bag of things for the book boy to take away. He went home and gave the bag to Su Shi and asked: Master, is this the bag?

Su Shi smiled and said: It is!

What is it? It's tea. The bookboy wears a straw hat and a pair of wooden clogs, hiding a riddle: tea.

Three

Eating grass on Dongpo

With nothing to do, Su Shi went to Jinshan Temple to visit Master Foyin. Unexpectedly, the master was not there, and a young novice came to open the door. .

Su Shi said proudly: "Where is the bald donkey?!".

The little novice pointed to the distance and replied: "Eating grass on the east slope!"

What do you think? 3. Sentences about humor

1. I am a green onion, standing in the wind and rain. Who dares to use me as a dip in sauce? K his ancestors. I walked south, crossed north, drank water behind the toilet, ran over my legs on the train track, and even kissed a pig. What are you looking at? How about kissing you!

2. The legend of Cupid: One arrow piercing the heart represents love at first sight; two arrows piercing the heart represent mutual consent; three arrows represent three lifetimes of good fortune. . . I will fire thousands of arrows at you. . . . . Demo, just wait until you become a hedgehog!

3. Don’t be crazy with me. My eldest brother Qin Shihuang, don’t pretend to be like me. I am behind the Party Central Committee. If you don’t believe me, bin Laden is my uncle. He bombed first and then poisoned you. If you still don’t believe it, call the household registration police. It’s my aunt who changed your household registration to pig!

4. A kind person is one who doesn’t complain when others are hungry...

5. It started to snow in my world. Oh my God! Please stop combing your hair next to me

6. No matter how ugly you are, you still have to fall in love and talk about the world being full of love.

7. You said you would wait for me to come back. You did, and you found someone to wait with you.

8. I fought against fat and almost lost my life.

9. Compare salary to salary, think about it, forget it, don’t live anymore.

10. When the devil is banging on the glass in front of your window, the toad is getting into your bed, the poisonous snake is swinging above your head, the earthworm is running between your toes, and the centipede has crawled into your nostril, don’t be afraid! I'm riding a snail to save you! drive! drive!

11. These may be the last few days I send you text messages. I am hesitating whether to tell you that I am going to Japan and the procedures have been completed. I won't forget you, really! ...I have bird flu, and the party wants me to catch it.

12. God! Bless me! Bless those who forget me, don’t contact me, don’t call me, don’t send me text messages, don’t miss me, don’t care about me, drop their cell phones into the toilet! Amen! Just rinse it with water!

13. The ship will sink naturally after hitting the bridge.

14. If you love me, say it out loud! If you hate me, just hide it in your heart for the rest of your life!

15. I planted a bunch of seeds in the spring, but now that autumn is here, there is no harvest.

16. You once told me that you will love me forever. I understand love, but what is forever?

17. Although I believe in eachother, I may not believe in you.

18. Hope is like fire, disappointment is like smoke. Life is like fire in seven places and smoke in eight places.

19. Lao Tzu can help you solve problems that Confucius cannot solve.

20. Do all the bad things you can do while you are young! It’s only been a few years...

21. The most important thing is to keep one’s word --------

I won’t pay back the money if I don’t!

22. What I can’t let go must be because I can’t have it.

23. To explain is to cover up, and to cover up is to tell a story.

24. One day I was asked if you were a pig and you answered no, you were flattened---dishonest! The next day, I asked you if you were a pig. Your answer was yes, and you were beaten - not modest! On the third day, I asked you if you were a pig, but you didn’t say anything, and you were flattened → You are a pig and you still drag me like this! ! !

25. If I have one candy, I will give it to you because I want you to be happy; if I have two candies, we will each have one because I want us to be happy together; if I have three For class candy, I will give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me! 26. Tell me what you are unhappy about to make everyone happy. 27. I feel relieved knowing that you are not doing well. 28. If you continue to ignore me, I will become a dumpling. Because "the dog ignores the steamed stuffed buns" 4. Who has some classic humorous sentences for me, thank you

1. "There is a bright moonlight in front of the bed", the next sentence the classmate fills in "Li Bai sleeps sweetly"... 2. In the next sentence of "Three Stooges", he actually wrote "the smells are the same"...the marking teacher immediately fainted... 3. Tao Yuanming's "I won't give up for five buckets of rice", the classmate boldly wrote "just give me six buckets of rice" … 4. "If you are poor, you will be alone." In the next sentence, students will fill in "If you are rich, you will have many wives and concubines."

5. "Egrets fly in front of Xisai Mountain", and the next sentence is "A turtle crawls by the river in East Village"? 6. "If heaven is sentimental, heaven will also grow old." What is the next sentence, "If man is sentimental, he will die early"? 7. "Glow-in-the-dark cup of fine grape wine", the next sentence is "a lot of beautiful women with money"... 8. "Remember those days, when we were fighting with each other", the next sentence is "Look at today, we are stalking each other"... 9. This is the most enjoyable! "Luoyang relatives and friends ask each other," the classmate said, "Please don't tell him"... 10. "If love lasts for a long time," the classmate said, "It's time for two people to get married." 11. "When the book is used, there will be less hatred." The classmate said Regarding "Money will not be enough to spend at the end of the month"... 12. "Clear water brings out hibiscus", someone wrote "Troubled times bring out heroes"... 13. "Ask you how much sorrow you can have", the students wrote "just like a pot of Erguotou". 14. This is amazing! "The sun shines on the incense burner and produces purple smoke. Li Bai comes to the bathroom. Little Li flies his knife in an instant, and Li Bai becomes a little eunuch. 5. Classic funny sentences

You are two or not two, two is there, not three No.

BBK lighter, order it wherever you want, I will only say Very easy

I curse you for eating instant noodles with only seasoning.

You said. You will love me forever. I was so stupid that I forgot to ask: "Is it this life or the next life?"

It's getting cold.

Let's go out and put on our robes. Look, blue sky, white clouds and black wires.

Wherever you fall, you always fall. I suspect there is a pit.

Watch the latest movies for free. /p>

_The waves behind you in the Yangtze River push the waves in front, and the waves in front die on the beach! _

I count the stars... Your IQ is not that good... just count the moon.

Don't If you have a crush on your brother, your sister-in-law will be angry

Hou Yi. Your mother asked you to come out and shoot the sun

Genius step two, no need for diapers

When my sister is unhappy, Just take a needle and poke condoms in the supermarket

I wish LZ all the best 6. Do you have any humorous jokes adapted from poetry? 1 Today we are the rising sun, tomorrow our hearts will be as bright as the sky. Even higher. Today we are a trickling stream. Tomorrow we will become a big river, raging and roaring. Today we are little eagles leaving the nest. Tomorrow we will fly very high. Today we are budding flowers. Tomorrow we will be colorful and extraordinarily bright. Enchanting. We are who we are, the red scarf is burning on the chest.

Please see that tomorrow we will lift the mountains, lift the rivers, hold up the modern motherland, and fly to the golden goal... 2 Let’s walk together with our dreams. On the beautiful summer night, I look up at the starry sky. In the boundless and charming winter, I look for my dream. Hoping for success, look, my dream is flying from afar, slowly getting closer to the young me, holding my dream, flying forward together, flying to the starry sky of my dreams, holding my dream, walking together, I will not look back, the world belongs to me, I fly To my dreams. 3 I sing for boys and girls. I sing of the morning, I sing of hope, I sing of things that belong to the future, I sing of the power that is growing. My song, you fly, fly to the hearts of those young people to find your place to stay. All the joy or good thoughts that made me tremble like grass turned into sounds and flew in all directions, whether they were like a breeze or a patch of sunshine. Gently losing the sadness of adulthood from my strings, I became young again, my blood flowed very fast, and I was full of dreams and desires for life. 4 You are a little fox, clever and scheming. You steal meat from the crow’s mouth. What a cute idea! You deserve it, crows love to sing and brag about themselves! Besides, he stole the meat, so he can eat it if you want. Maybe you will become extremely beautiful after eating this piece of meat! The tail is like a red flame blowing across the green grass like the wind. I like you, fox, your cunning is witty, your deception is interesting. No matter what adults say, I like you. 5 In the sky, snowflakes were floating... In the north wind, geese and crows were calling... Under the big tree, the younger brother raised his slingshot and took aim... This annoyed Grandpa Dong and hit his younger brother's nose. , pinched red. 7. Jokes and humorous sentences

1. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight - at the graduation job fair, someone said to him: "Brother, step aside, you are blocking my way." The mobile phone signal is working.”

2. Lei Feng did not leave any good deeds, but he recorded everything in his diary. 4. I skipped too many classes. I wanted to go to class yesterday. When I saw the professor, the professor was surprised and said, "I haven't seen you for such a long time and you have grown so much."

6. Whenever I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall. 7. If a couple plays in the water, they will drown; if they fly together, they will fall to death.

8. Pure, fictitious, chaotic, beautiful. 9. Happiness means scratching an itch when you feel itchy. Unlucky means being itchy but not being able to scratch it. What’s even more unfortunate is that for a long time, the soul and body have not been able to feel the itch that is about to move.

10. Although I cannot be a descendant of a wealthy person, I must be an ancestor of a wealthy person. 11. Heaven has not given me any great responsibilities, but it still tortures my mind and strains my muscles and bones.

12. Who holds my hand and curbs my madness for half my life; who kisses my eyes and covers my wandering for half my life. 13. I looked for her thousands of times in the crowd, but suddenly looking back, that person still looked down upon me.

15. What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters. 16. Could it be that you are the dung ball rolled by the cockroach Xiaoqiang who was crushed by the little novice monk Wangcai and his imbecile pet dog Wangcai, who was the only one in the world in swordsmanship and martial arts at Mount Huashan? 17. The first half of the short story I Love Your Mother will be broadcast here today. Please continue to enjoy the second half of the short story I Love Your Mother at the same time tomorrow... 18. Advertisements on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements on taxis: Traffic jam? Take the subway! 19. I received a text message on my mobile phone. There was a monkey in the zoo that was so ugly that everyone vomited. One day I went there and I vomited. One day you went there and the monkey vomited.

20. People who say money is a sin are all trying to make money; people who say beauty is a disaster are all people who want it; people who say it is too cold to reach high places are all trying to climb; people who say smoking and drinking are harmful to the body are not quitting; people who say heaven is the best It’s so beautiful, don’t even go! 21. Strongly protest against the insertion of TV series during commercial breaks! 23. Although the famous flower has its owner, I will loosen the soil! 24. Sorry! I'm already dead! But thanks for coming to see me! I will also visit you at 12 o'clock tonight! 25. I drank to drown the pain, but this damn pain learned to swim. 26. Data show that in 2008, Chinese men accounted for 52% of the country’s total population, and women accounted for 43%.

27. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to be lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to stay young forever? ——Stop thinking blindly and study hard! 28. A fool stole a beggar's wallet, and the blind man saw it. The mute roared, which frightened the deaf man. The hunchback stepped forward, and the lame man kicked up. The wanted criminal wanted to take him to the police station. Mazi said, look. Forget about my face. 29. Loneliness is the carnival of one person, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people. 31. I dreamed of eating spaghetti, and when I woke up in the morning, I found that my shoelaces were gone! 32. Lovers are the road, friends are trees. There is only one road in life, and there are many trees on the road. Don’t get lost when you are rich, lean on the tree when you are short of money, don’t forget the road when you are happy, water the tree when you are resting.

33. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is wrong, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless. 34. Although the green mountains are left, there is still no firewood.

36. I can’t bear to eat porridge every day. I went to the vegetable market yesterday and thought I’d better continue eating porridge. 37. My principle is: I won’t offend anyone unless they offend me; if someone offends me, I will get angry! 38. I gradually discovered that talents are fairies! Some goblins eat humans, but humans will eat anything. If you catch a goblin, you might be able to barbecue it! 39. Listen to your words, Saint Seiya is studying.

42. You see, there are always so many things in this world that make you sad: ups and downs, joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation.

44. Cannonball’s head was also covered with lightning strikes. 45. Love is a luxury.

Just like the fox fur coat in the Paris window, it is so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will make people sober. Love is also a luxury product, you can only watch it from a distance, don't imagine or touch it because it requires the right time, the right person meeting at the right place, both are indispensable.

46. When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation. 47. Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, some people praised my left nostril for being idol-like.

48. Old advice: Girl, you must eat appropriately to lose weight effectively. 49. Spring is the season when colds and emotions are most common.

Some people accidentally catch a cold, and some people accidentally fall in love. I belong to the former. 50. I was also an infatuated person, but it rained... and I drowned.

51. Hongxing refuses to get out of the wall and pulls her out resolutely. 52. I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in it.

53. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad. 56. Boys must be poor, otherwise they will not know how to struggle; girls must be rich, otherwise they will coax them away with a piece of cake.

57. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even. 58. When I give birth to a son, I want to name him "So Handsome." Then when people see me, they will say: "What a handsome dad!" 61. Everyone has at least one dream and a reason to be strong.

62. The 5-year-old daughter asked her father to help her do something. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Please praise me a few times. If you praise me a few words, I will feel energetic again."

Daughter: "Old Zheng!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter : "Your girl is so beautiful..." 64. If the heart doesn't have a place to rest, it will wander wherever it goes! 65. The brain is the noblest organ – because it’s the brain that tells you.

67. Zhuge Liang had never led an army before he left the mountain. Why do you want me to have work experience? ! ! 68. The highest state of work is to watch others go to work and receive other people’s wages.

69. When you didn’t study when you were a child, your mother said: “When you grow up, I will marry you to a pork seller.” Now I educate my daughter: “Study hard and you will marry a pork seller when you grow up.” "Wang Laowu."

70. After living for more than 20 years, I have been unable to do anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about this, I feel heartbroken. 71.Happy? Can you still feel happy soon? ! 73. Mom said it’s best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

The important task of the post-74.80 generation is to create the post-08 generation. 75. There is no rehearsal in life. Every day is a live broadcast. Not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

76. The future is bright, but there is no road. 77. Who said that all crows in the world are as black as black? actually. 8. All humorous sentences

1: I laugh from my side to the sky, and after I finish laughing, I go to sleep.

2: The cashier said: I have no change. I’ll give you two plastic bags! 3: My advantage is: I am very handsome; but my disadvantage is: I am not obviously handsome. 4: What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters! 5: My life has side A and side B, your life has side S and side B.

6: I am a fat person, not a rough person. 7: If Taiwan is not recovered for a day, I will not be able to reach level 4! 8: If the sun doesn’t come out, I won’t go to work; if it does, I’ll continue to sleep! 9: Running snail.

10: Picking up girls is like hanging out on QQ. If you coax her for 2 hours a day, you will soon be able to enjoy the sun. 11: Talking about money doesn’t hurt feelings, but talking about feelings hurts money the most.

12: I curse you for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets for the rest of your life. 13: The accountant said: "You can come and collect your salary later. I don't have any change."

14: Can you tell I put on powder? 15: Even though you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell the smell of scum. 16: My name is Rain, and my nickname is Runtu.

17: I am an angel. The reason why I cannot go back to heaven is because of my weight. 18: Once I was on the street, a group of girls stopped me. They said I was handsome, but I refused to admit it, so they beat me and called me hypocritical.

19: Both homely and rotten, the future is uncertain. 20: Make a cup of Sanlu for the party to drink.

21: The most mysterious department in history: the relevant department. 22: It is undeniable that mosaics are the biggest obstacle to the progress of human nude art in this century! 23: There are only two things I can't do in my life: I can't do this, and I can't do that.

24: Others have a background, but I have a back view. 25: The ideal of meat, the destiny of cabbage.

26: White horse... where did you die! Did you lose the prince and dare not come to see me? 27: When your mother gave birth to you, did she throw away the placenta and raise it? 28: Don’t mistake dried shrimps for seafood.

29: Please make a serving of Yangzhou fried rice, more chopped green onion, a little salt, and an extra egg, take it away. 30: Is your father’s cousin? 31: Every morning when I get up, I read the Forbes list of richest people. If my name is not on it, I go to work.

32: There are too many liars and not enough fools. 33: I am the princess who cuts thorns and kills dragons on the road, travels across rivers and climbs to the top of the tower, and is responsible for kissing you awake.

34: Why should I kill you, my love? 35: Your cell phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

36: The road is long and long, so let’s fight it. 37: Others pretend to be good, but I have to pretend to be experienced.

38: Don’t be afraid of stealing tools, but be afraid of stealing tools! 39: Failure is not terrible, the key is success. 40: Today’s college students are so unqualified! I came here to copy a piece of wool, but I actually used shearing! (Is it enough? Isn’t this the case). 9. Asking for a humorous sentence

When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

If idiots could fly, my company would be an airport. All men are created equal, except those who are married.

I think if I only had a little more modesty, I would be a perfect person. If you need consultation or advice, we will provide it free of charge; if you need the correct answer, please pay extra.

In the past, when the alarm clock went off, I often had the habit of slapping it and going back to sleep, but since I put three mouse traps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated. If Beethoven is said to be the "father of symphony", does that mean that Beethoven's father is the "father of symphony"? I've done a lot of stupid things, but I didn't care. My friends call it "confidence."

The Blind Association sincerely advises you: Never drink and drive. Experiment on two worms.

The one in the whiskey is dead, proving that drinking whiskey doesn’t cause worms in the stomach. If Bill Gates could get a dollar for every time his computer restarted, he would be giving it away.

Ten years later, the court sentenced the murderer to death for the second time. I pretended to work for my boss, and my boss pretended to pay me.

My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, and I haven't had the chance to interrupt her. Have you ever heard the story of "The big pig said yes, and the little pig said no"? I never watch TV. I just always check whether the TV programs in the newspapers are misprinted.

Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, one on the first day of the lunar month and the other on the fifteenth day of the lunar month. Why are you so ignorant? Your uncle is here, why would you think of going to the zoo to see bears? My eyesight is very poor. For example, can you see that thumbtack on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

Every day I set a new world record - the number of days I have lived on this earth. In the Internet world, your girlfriend might be a man and your boyfriend might be a woman, and that's painful, but you have to accept it.

If you want to compete with a tiger to see who can starve more, you will definitely win. I strapped the TV remote to my waist and pretended I had bought a new cell phone.

Just having money does not make people happy, so my life of stealing jewelry, stamps, watches, etc. is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4,000 yuan from me and said I'm going to have plastic surgery, but now I have no idea what he looks like. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw a stone at my head! Everyone! Today is the 10th anniversary of my wife’s 30th birthday! Except for one item, the other columns were filled in quite well. The "relationship" column should be filled with "mother-in-law" instead of "tension". Dad hit me twice today. The first time was because he saw the two-point report card in my hand, and the second time was because the report card was from his childhood.

Tragedy is like me accidentally cutting off my little finger; comedy is like you accidentally falling into the sewer. When it comes to arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

Next, I will publish Mr. Smith’s will. Before publishing the will, I would like to ask sincerely, Mrs. Smith, are you willing to accept my proposal? Don't call your children "little brats", because from a genetic perspective, this is not good for parents.

Wife, I shouldn’t use bedsheets to clean my shoes, but I just came back from a business trip and I can’t change it for a while. I was wrong.

(Multiple choice question) If a lawyer and a politician fell into the river at the same time, would you go to drink coffee or go to a movie? This would be hilarious if it didn't happen to me. Do you want to have a good set of teeth? Here are three lessons for you: 1. Rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; 2. Go to the hospital to check your teeth every two years; 3. Mind your own business.

No trace of hair, dandruff is better! We are always accustomed to thinking that the brain is the most important organ of the human body, but don’t forget who made this judgment. Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with natural stupidity-because we advocate pure nature. If a person still smiles in the face of criticism from everyone If so, then he has probably found a scapegoat.