Does anyone have funny or funny stories? Can you show them to me?

A friend just updated the news: he was beaten by his wife today. The reason is that I was found when I read a book called "Teach You How to Beat Your Wife".

Worry

Just now, I reached for my food in bed, and my head accidentally touched my knee, so I broke out in a cold sweat: If I were a snake, I would die.

Unexpectedly,

A colleague called his wife, but there was a man's voice of shortness of breath. He said angrily, "Who are you?"! Where is my wife? ？”

the man said, "I robbed the mobile phone! You can get rid of your wife by running one more street, hahaha! "

Thriller

I worked overtime with a female colleague. I went to the toilet in the middle of the night and came back to find my female colleague talking to the air. Later, I swept my shoulder with my hand and said, "Don't touch me!" After a while, he waved his arm and said, "Go away!"

I stood outside the door, feeling cold in my back ... and looked at it for a while before I realized that she was chasing mosquitoes.

miss

last month, I took the opportunity of the reunion to meet the beautiful classmate who had been chasing but didn't catch up.

I asked her, "What would you do if there were only two of us in the world?"

She thought about it and said something that I can't forget: "I'll try to kill you, and the world belongs to me.

precocious

My daughter said she didn't want to go to kindergarten after only one day.

when asked why, she replied: her deskmate told her that she didn't need to study and went home to marry her when she grew up. After marriage, you don't have to go to work, you don't have to cook, just watch cartoons every day!

Shu Shuang

The only thing better than sitting next to a beautiful woman on the plane is that there are empty seats next door on the plane.

Seriously

Today, I went to play in an Internet cafe with some brothers. When I first entered, I saw the boss's son writing carefully in a noisy environment. I knew that this son would be a great success.

until his father left, he immediately ran behind us to watch us play games, lying in the trough.

Homework

"Did you move in winter vacation homework?"

"Soon."

"almost finished?"

"it's going to move soon."

Shake your legs

When shaking your legs on a bus is close to the shaking frequency of the car, there is always a feeling that I shake the whole car by myself.

blind date

I had a blind date with a sister arranged by my colleague. Before the food was served, she suddenly got up and said, "I'm bored, so I'll leave first, okay?" And then he left.

I had to endure tears and finish all the dishes for two, because I vomited after eating too much.

Safety

Some people say that it is easy to have an accident when you walk and play with your mobile phone. Now I run and play.

Tragedy

I went to a relative's house for dinner during the Chinese New Year, but I didn't stand firm in my toast. Before wrestling, I reached out and grabbed the tablecloth, and as a result, I overturned a table of dishes.

I can't forget everyone's frightened eyes.

Relatives

There is a creature called distant relatives. Every New Year, they will revive, pay attention to your studies and work, care about your marriage and children, and care for them in every possible way.

as soon as the new year is over, they go into hibernation, and there is no news, as if they had never appeared before, and they don't take away a cloud.