Zou Ji satirized the script of Shangshu written by the King of Qi.

1. Zou Ji satirizes Qi Wang's textbook drama.

The first field

Time: One morning in the Warring States Period.

Venue: Zou Jijia

At dawn, Zou Ji got up to wash, and his wife was sorting out the bedding. He went to the mirror and was getting dressed.

Zou (looking at himself in the mirror) Hey, who is more handsome, my wife, me or the Xugong? (Looking at myself in the mirror with great pride)

Wife (walks up to Zou Ji with a smile and helps him tidy his clothes) Come on, little Xu Gong! You are so handsome. He can't compete with you! You look handsome, charming, handsome, versatile, both civil and military (take a deep breath). In my eyes, you're just-

Zou and his wife (chorus) are perfect (four eyes are opposite)

Zou (mental activity, monologue) knows this sentence again. (turning around)

Wife (psychological activity, monologue) is too exaggerated! (clutching his chest)

Zou Ji didn't believe in himself and strolled to the little aunt who was serving tea.

Zou (triumphantly): Who do you think is more beautiful than that boy named Xu?

Who is the mistress (frown, monologue)? (Shu Mei flashes his eyes) Oh ~ (suddenly enlighted) Xu Gong, who is he! How can I compare with you! Go, can you compete?

Zou He! (Picks up tea from Xiaoting's plate and gargles) Really? (takes some money out of his pocket) Come on, (waves) Here's your reward.

Concubine: Wow! (Jumping up) Master Xie! (Bow, step down with tea)

The next day, Zou Ji's guests came home to discuss borrowing money with Zou Ji.

Guest (stands up and holds Zou Ji's hand) Oh, Lao Zou, I haven't seen you for three hundred years (takes the tea from the maid and takes a sip).

Zou (coming out of the inner hall) Lao Lu, nice to meet you. What are you doing here?

How can it be a guest? Look at you. You can't do it.

Zou, I think you can't tell jokes again. You are a busy man who runs business outside all day. If you have nothing to worry about, will you come to see me?

I can't seem to hide it from you. Indeed, I have something to ask you for help.

Zou first said. Guest Lao Zou, you see, we businessmen have nothing to do in the wind and rain, and we don't ask you to borrow some money to make money.

Zou Oh, um (thoughtfully, paused for a moment), um, ok, put it aside first, and I'll have the waiter deliver it to your home later.

Alas, Lao Zou, I am still a reliable friend for many years. Your kindness to me is like a surging river, endless! Another example is the flood of the Yellow River. ...

Come on, Zou, don't be poor. We are WHO and WHO. By the way, do you remember Xu in the north of the city?

When I was a child, I hung my nose and ran around with bare arms. That kid, I remember burning carbon, too

Zou, tell me, I'm more attractive than him ... Well, how about it?

The guest's sample is too ashamed to find the goods in the pile-ordinary goods can no longer be ordinary. Being able to compare with you is a blessing that he has trained 88 generations.

Zou, look at what you said (shy)

Don't deny that this is a fact.

Zou, really?

There are fakes there.

The second field

The next day, Xu Gong wore dignified clothes to visit Zou Ji, who treated him with courtesy (look carefully).

Zou, I said, what do you usually eat?

Xu doesn't know why Mr. Zhou asked?

Zou: Nothing, just asking (I remember) that, what, what did you come to see me for?

Xu: Mr Zou, my mother is 80 years old. I'm here to invite you to dinner. (takes out an invitation from his sleeve and hands it to Zou Gong), and invites Zou Gong to attend.

Zou: (taking the invitation and looking at it) OK, I will definitely celebrate my birthday! Give my regards to your mother!

Zou Gong cares about Xu Xie. I'll tell my mother. (Looking up and looking out, turning to Zou Ji) Well, it's getting late. I won't stay long. I have to go! (getting up, bowing)

Zou: Oh, go ahead. I'll ask the servant to see you off. Xugong went smoothly. (Shouting) Small pine nuts

Song zai

Zou, you see Mr Xu off.

Song is, my Lord. (Watching Xu Gong go out)

After Xu Gong left, Zou Ji has been sitting in his seat thinking hard (the performers here are free to play and their expressions are changeable, so you can add some exclamations appropriately)

Third field

Zou Ji and his ministers put on royal robes and went to appear before Qi Weiwang.

Long live your majesty, ministers! (clap your sleeves and bow down. )

Wang Pingshen!

Thank you, Your Majesty!

Zou (patting the sleeve and bowing) I have something to play.

Go ahead, Wang. I am all ears. (Seriously, my kingly temperament)

The country of Zhou dynasty

Thank you, your majesty. Your majesty, I thought I was beautiful, but I didn't know I was really inferior to Xu Gong until I met him. My wife is partial to me, my concubines are afraid of me, and my guests want my things, so they all say that I am more beautiful than Xu Hongmei. I realized this last night.

Wang well a cry. (thoughtfully. )

The country of Zhou dynasty

As a humble minister, I will still be cheated. Now, the land of Qi is thousands of miles away in Fiona Fang, and there are 120 cities and concubines in the palace. There are no attendants who do not favor your majesty, and there are no courtiers who do not fear your majesty. There is no one in the country who doesn't want anything from your majesty. From this point of view, your majesty, you are more gullible than me.

Wang Well, what Zou said is also reasonable, but I ignored it! Tell me, how can I not be cheated?

Zou: I hope your majesty will draw up an imperial edict (stretch out his hand and draw an arc around him), so that everyone in the world can correct my king and let your majesty really become the king of the people.

W: OK, let's do it. Make us angry (from music). Someone, pen and ink to serve. (A waiter hands a pen and paper and steps down. The king of Qi wrote a few strokes on the paper. After putting down the pen, the waiter took it away and read it out on the spot.

Attendant: Fengtian brought goods, and the emperor said: Official, if you can accuse me of my fault face to face, you will be rewarded with 3,200 silver and 3,000 silks; If you can write a letter to accuse me of my fault, I will be rewarded with silver 1200 and silk horse 1000; Anyone who can criticize my fault in the market and be heard by me will be rewarded with 520 taels of silver and 500 silks. I admire that.

Ministers (classes): Long live the king, long live the king.

Narrator: Yan, Zhao, Han Jun and Wei heard about it. One after another went to the State of Qi to worship Wang Wei, which made the imperial court defeat other countries.

⒉

Zou Ji satirizes Qi Wang's "capable minister" —— Writing a script in classical Chinese

First act

Characters: Zou Ji, Zou wife, Zou concubine, guest.

Time: Warring States Period

Venue: Guo Xiang Building

(Narrator: In the morning, the sun is shining. Zou Ji, the prime minister of Qi, got up early in the morning and was sorting out his clothes. I saw that he was more than eight feet tall, fair-skinned and radiant.

Zou Ji (tidying up his sleeves and looking at the image in the mirror): I'm Zou Ji, over half a year old, with the same style, haha!

Zou's wife (coming up is a blessing): Xianggong, it's time to eat.

Zou Ji: Oh, I see.

Zou Ji (turning around in front of the mirror): Madam, look at me. Which is more handsome, Xu Gong in the north of the city?

Zou's wife (looking at it carefully, full of love): Xianggong is elegant, so how can I compare with you! !

Concubine Zou (blessing both of them): Sir, sister, breakfast is ready, please eat!

Zou Ji (staring at himself in the mirror, meditating): Aiji, you're just in time! Come on, let's see which is more beautiful, the old man in the north of the city or Xu Gong.

Zou (looking at Zou Ji and then at Zou's wife, timidly lowering his head): Sir, how can I compare with you!

Zou Ji (with a moustache on his right hand, laughing): Ha ha ha! Go eat! (Everyone leaves)

(Narrator: The next day, the sun was still shining, and Zou Ji was in the living room. )

Guest (bowing, fuels): Your Excellency Guo Xiang has been waiting for a long time. Officer Xu Wei salutes your Excellency!

Zou Ji (returning the gift with his fist): I wonder if Mr. Xu has been to our house. what do you think? !

The guest (bowing respectfully again) has been sent to the south to take office because of the kindness of the king and the flattery of the prime minister, and has come to say goodbye! And listen to the teachings of adults!

Zou Ji (with a moustache on his right hand, smiling approvingly): OK! Lord Xu should do his duty and serve the king! -Xu adults and Xu Gong is a long-term friendship. Look at me. Who is more beautiful than Xu Gong?

Guest (walking beside Zou Ji, ingratiating smile): Guo Xiang is a model of Qimen. Now he is not only personable, but also adds a lot of mature charm. Xu Gongyuan is not as beautiful as you!

Zou Ji (complacent): Where where! My good nephew is so condescending Ha ha! (Two people leave)

(Narrator: Another day passed, and Zou Ji was leaning in the dormitory alone. )

Zou Ji (to himself): Today, when Xu Gong visited, I took a closer look at him and found him less beautiful. I looked in the mirror and compared him carefully, and found that my length was much worse than his!

Zou Ji (puzzled): Why do Mrs. Aji and Mr. Xu both praise the old lady for being more beautiful than Xu Gong? Zou Ji (suddenly enlighted): My wife praises her husband and dotes on me. I love my concubine, and Kuafu is afraid that I will blame her. That boy Xu Wei praised me because he wanted something from me. Kiss my ass! ..... A person is so deceived, let alone the country. I must remind your majesty! ..... (Zou Ji gets off)

Act ii

Person: Minister Zou Ji of Qi Weiwang.

Time: Warring States Period

Venue: Qi Palace

(Qi Weiwang sits in the dragon chair, the minister stands aside, and Zou Ji is on it).

Zou Ji: (the gift of the monarch and the minister): Report to your majesty, Minister Zou Ji has something to say!

Qi Weiwang: OK! Zou, stand up Play if you need anything!

Zou Ji: (stands up): Xie Wang! I really know that I am not as beautiful as Xu Gong. My wife is partial to me, and my concubine is afraid that I will blame her. What do the guests want from me? They all think I'm more beautiful than Xu Hongmei!

Qi Weiwang (laughing in the dragon chair): Hehe! I thought it was a national event. ! This used to be Ai Qing's family business! Ha ha!

Zou Ji (serious, step forward): No, your majesty! This is not just a family affair of the old minister, it is a major event related to the rise and fall of Qi!

Qi Weiwang (rising from the dragon chair in surprise): Oh, I'm all ears. Please make it clear, Guo Xiang! Zou Ji (primly): I'm still so gullible. Today, Qi is thousands of miles away in Fiona Fang, and there are 120 cities, concubines and attendants in the palace. There is no one who is not partial to the king, nor is there anyone who is not afraid of the king. There is no one in this country who doesn't want a king. In this way, the king was deeply deceived!

Qi Weiwang (nodding frequently): OK! All right! All right! Zou has a point! Qi Weiwang (writing imperial edict): Come on, preach my will-from today on, ministers, officials and those who can accuse me of my mistakes face to face will be awarded generous rewards; Those who can write to me to advise will be given appropriate rewards; If you can criticize and point out the faults of state affairs in public, so that I can hear them, give me an inferior reward!

Zou Ji and his entourage (bow): Your Majesty is wise! Long live the king, long live, long live!

(beaming): Everyone loves Qing to stand up! Retreat from North Korea! (Everyone leaves)

Act iii

Liu Xiang: What a good remonstrator Zou! What a brave Qi Weiwang! When the law was first promulgated, ministers scrambled to make suggestions, and the court was as lively as the market; A few months later, the political situation improved, and sometimes people advised; It's been a full year, and it's politically civilized. Even if someone wants to remonstrate, there's nothing wrong with it! Yan, Zhao, South Korea and Wei were all shocked by the news and sent people to worship the King of Qi. This is what the ancients said, as long as the internal affairs are clear, you can defeat the enemy without fighting! (All actors, curtain call)

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