Homophonic jokes with topics

How to treat the housing market?

Blind date with a MM, we sat opposite the teahouse. After understanding the work, education, family and hobbies of both sides, the conversation got into trouble and began to pull some cold jokes, and then we talked about social and economic topics.

Me: What do you think of the housing market?

MM: (Pauses, lowers his head and is silent for a while) It's better not to be too frequent.

Do what you see.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He must give him a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went there, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. Then he told the landlord about the lease right for the next year, and he had his own opinion.

He was empty-handed, and then his eyes turned to the sky and said, There are no three kinds in this field. ?

Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, who will you give it to if you don't give it to Zhang San?

Zhang San said: Your words have changed so quickly! ?

The landlord replied:? What was that nonsense? Chicken? Talk about it, is this sentence playing it by ear at the moment? Chicken? And work. ?

Can't find the inkpad

One day, the company office needed to be stamped, and Xiao Wang couldn't find the inkpad.

Ask a colleague:? Do you know where inkpad is?

Colleague:? Southeast Asia? .

I will die in your car.

The bus I drove arrived at the station that day, and the passengers got off in a column. At the moment when the door was about to close, a lady shouted outside the door, I'm going to die in your car! ?

I was so nervous that I immediately closed the car door and stepped on the accelerator, thinking: There are many strange people in the city. ?

Unexpectedly, the lady called a taxi to chase my bus and finally stopped.

When the car door opened, the lady shouted again, Why didn't you stop? I will die in your car! ?

I dare not ask her: Miss, what's bothering you?

He walked angrily to a seat, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me, I'm going to die. The keys are in your car! ?

? Sleep? how much is it?

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

It's beautiful. The waitress came to ask, friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese, and they rush to talk and sleep. how much is it?

The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady, didn't he? Program? Huh?

Miss said brightly,? Yes, what kind of program do you want?

? That's the yellow one ?

A meeting in the village

At a meeting in the village, due to homophonic, the village head said: rabbits and shrimps, don't paste melons, pickles are too expensive. ? Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. )

The host said:? Sausage and melon with pickles, please. ? (Now, please speak to the township head. )

The township head said:? Rabbit, shrimp and dog ate today's meal. Everyone is a turtle. ? Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls.

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Happy joke short message

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