Morning meeting short story humorous joke

Humor provides a channel to express feelings, behaviors and impulses that are not accepted by society. I collected some humorous jokes about the morning meeting for you. Let's have a look.

On the train, a man and a woman met by chance. The problem was that they shared the same sleeping car. Of course it was embarrassing at first, but soon, fatigue made them fall asleep. Men slept in the upper bunk and women slept in the lower bunk. In the middle of the night, the man woke up and woke up the woman sleeping in the lower berth. Sorry, I froze to death up there. Can you pass me another blanket? The woman looked at the man with her eyes streaming and said to him, I have a better idea. Let's pretend to be husband and wife, shall we? The man paused, but immediately agreed: yes, great. I didn't expect that! ? He was obviously a little overexcited. So what do we do now? ......

2) Husband and wife don't agree, sleep separately, don't talk to each other, and write something. One day, my husband left his wife a note saying that I was going to work and would call me tomorrow. At his wife's bedside, An Lan fell asleep. The next day, when I woke up, it was gone. He was very angry and ran to question his wife. I looked at my wife's room and found her long gone. I couldn't go back to my room. I found a note on my pillow, which said, you damn fool, it's already halfway through, and I still can't get up.

3) If your wife asked you to go out and look for a job, what would you look for? New wife. Does your husband love you? Love, very much! I'm inseparable from him, and I don't even go to work. Does your wife object to your smoking at home? Oh, she objects to my smoking anywhere. She said that smoking for two people costs more than smoking for one person. Whenever my wife and I quarrel, she becomes a historian. You mean, she's hysterical No, she exposed me. She won't lose anything. I am very careful. Whenever my wife and I quarrel, I always let the children go for a walk. No wonder all your children are healthy! Woman: Doctor, my husband always talks in his sleep. ......

4) In order to borrow a banana fan, the Monkey King got into the belly of Princess Iron Fan. Look at the following dialogue. Sister-in-law, I am already in your heart. ? Princess Iron Fan:? Get out of the way. Uncle, I can't stand it? Wukong:? Sister-in-law, I'm coming out soon. Open your mouth quickly. ? Princess Iron Fan:? Obstruct? Niu listened at the door and left a divorce agreement? Away from home.

5) On his girlfriend's birthday, Guo Shuai spent a lot of money to buy a qq number and send it to his girlfriend. What does this number stand for? I love you all my life? . After I bought it, I couldn't log in at all, prompting that the password was wrong. Handsome boy takes a closer look, and the original number is

6) wife:? How does the fish-flavored shredded pork taste? Husband:? Just so-so ? Wife:? How about grilled eggplant? Husband:? Not bad. ? Wife:? How about Mapo tofu? Husband:? Not bad. ? Wife:? Can you die if you say a good fucking word? Husband:? The rice is so hard! ?

7) Take your daughter-in-law to climb the mountain. . Rest in the gazebo at the top of the mountain. Hug your daughter-in-law intimately and make a strong kiss, but she suddenly said, brother-in-law, don't do this! So many people were staring at me at that time. . .

8) Wife: What do you think of sex? Husband: I don't think so, but there are many ways. Wife: What do you think of me wearing a bikini to this seaside party? Dave: No! So people will think you got married after my money. Wife: Husband! Will my hair be ugly? Dave: No. Your ugliness has nothing to do with hair. Wife: Let's see if I broke my palm. Dave: Don't look, there must be. Wife: Why? Husband: Otherwise, how could my life be ruined by you? Wife: Boss, give my husband a bottle of rice wine. Boss: Is one bottle enough? Your husband is famous for his capacity for drinking. ......

9) A couple has been married for many years. Suddenly one day, the wife asked her husband, Do you like my beauty or my cuteness? ? The husband replied:? I like your humor. ?

10) The wife bought a lottery ticket and said to her husband, "If I win the lottery, I will buy a dress." Husband asked:? What if you can't win? The wife said, "Then buy it for me! ?

Husband: Shaving in the morning makes me feel young! Wife: Hum! In that case, you should shave before going to bed. Wife: Honey, I don't look like my mother in this dress, do I? Husband: No, like parents. Husband: If I didn't make a lot of money, how could I have this home? Wife: You're right. If I had no money, I wouldn't go into this house.

12) only to find that condoms have such a lovely name, called stop elf. . . So ... Ready to sing! On the right side of the left leg and the left side of the right leg, there is an elf. They are thin and transparent, smooth and beautiful. They travel freely in the big black forest, safe and considerate to prevent being fathers ~

One day, my son went over to ask his father.

Son: Dad, why does it seem more comfortable for men to have sex with women?

Dad: Think about it. Is it comfortable to dig nose excrement with your fingers or your hands?

Son: Then why do they seem to be in pain when they are raped?

Dad: If you walk in the street and someone comes to pick your nose, do you feel comfortable?

Son: Why doesn't that man like wearing condoms?

Dad: Do you like to wear gloves to dig nose excrement?

Son: Then why don't women have sex when they have their period?

Dad: Do you pick your nose when you have a nosebleed?

A man looked at the prescription prescribed by a female doctor for a long time and came back to ask: 13 where is the super? The female doctor smiled and said: Not 13, but B-ultrasound. ? The man was furious:? Shit, yours? B's share is too wide ?

There is a couple in a small mountain village. Women are beautiful, men are ugly, and women are coquettish. She hooked up with a young man in the village. Her husband noticed it slowly, but couldn't find any evidence. One day, he finally figured out a way, pretending to go out to visit relatives and saying that he would not go home at night. His wife met him and made an appointment to go to his house at night. When he blew out the lamp, the man left quietly. I only heard two people kicking and booing in the room. The woman did so well that she screamed again and again: Ah ... Oh ... Ah ... Oh ... harder? Harder? You made me happy. I gave you a pair of cloth shoes, and her husband was furious when he heard it outside! ! Stand up and shout at the room. Do it! Fuck her! Fuck her! I will buy you a pair of leather shoes! !

A young man saw a beautiful woman with a low collar on the bus, and spring leaked out. Are you kidding? Is it really a place where peach blossoms bloom? Hearing this, the beauty lifted her skirt and said, and where were you born and raised? !

The little girl always shows off her new toys to the little boy. The little boy had no choice but to take off his pants and say, you will never have this! The girl also took off her pants and said, my mother said that as long as you have this, you can have as many things as you want!

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In class, the beautiful female teacher carefully explained to the children:? Milk? Is it? Small? The meaning of. Like what? Suckling pig? Is it? Piggy? ,? Pigeons Is it? Pigeons . Xiao Ming, would you please use it? Milk? Make sentences with words.

Xiaoming: My family's economic conditions are not very good. I can only stand 40 square meters of breasts.

Teacher: (I am dizzy)? Isn't that okay? Change it.

Xiaoming: I jump over a cleavage in front of my house every day when I go to school.

Teacher: (dizzy)? No? Change it to another one.

Xiaoming:? Teacher, I really can't think of it. I want to pop my nipples.

Teacher:?

Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel and have wings, but I still want to suck blood. ?

God: Then reincarnate as a nurse. ?

8. A friend sold popsicles in the park for the first time and was embarrassed to shout. At this time, someone suddenly shouted over there: selling popsicles ~ ~ ~ selling popsicles ~ ~? . Hearing this, my friend shouted with joy: Me too ~ ~ ~ Me too ~ ~? . ?

9. Soon after the ant and the elephant got married, the elephant died. Ants cry when burying elephants. Honey, why did you leave so early? I buried you for nothing in my life! ?

10. Your boy has a crush on a girl. Do you have the courage to ask her what kind of boy she likes?

? Get along? The girl replied, even if you ask it several times, it's the same answer.

The boy said with frustration. How about a crew cut? . ?

1 1. One day, I caught the last bus out of breath and shouted: Master! Master, wait for me ~

Suddenly a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me slowly, Wukong, will you stop chasing?

12. One day I had a physical examination, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at my legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, which class are you in? What's your name? A student lifted his trousers and said, guess, guess. ?

13. After the beautiful Mongolian actress finished her performance, the leader took the stage to receive her. Then he took her hand and asked her if she was cold and warm. She refused to let go for a long time and asked kindly, what's your name? The actress replied excitedly? Maragobi matsusuke?

A king wanted to marry a princess. He put an apple on the princess's head. Whoever shoots it will have a chance to marry the princess. ?

The first man patted the apple and said, Me? I'm Robin. ?

The second man also shot the apple. He said: I am Hou Yi. ?

The third man accidentally shot the princess. He said, "I'm sorry ..."

It's hard to make money at noon on weekdays. Who knows that the money in the bag can't make ends meet every month Broken in two in one minute, still tight at the end of the month. Please pay tribute to the god of wealth at once. There are candles and fruits at home. I wish my friends are covered by the god of wealth all the year round, and they can earn money without worry.

2) Female: I have no feelings for you. Me: OK, you can go. Woman: How do you talk? Me: I like direct people. If you tell me how you feel, I will tell you how I feel. Woman: You are so stingy. Me: this is called a frank exchange of views between the host and the guest.

3) What is the world? The sage replied:? Schroeder. ?

4) What is really terrible is not playing the lute to a cow, but a group of cows playing the lute to you.

5) I'm worried about you recently. I wish you hard. I wish you charm and hard work; Do things with courage, make a fortune and make profits; Love is beautiful and life is really smooth. Work hard towards happiness and wish you a happy mood!

6) Cold Monday, Braised Tuesday, Steamed Wednesday, Fried Thursday, Stir-fried Friday, Happy Seasoning, Leisure Wine, I will cook a blessing dinner for you this weekend, and I am willing to enjoy it happily.

7) People have lived all their lives. Don't be too cold in winter, too hot in summer, don't pretend to be poor if you have money, and don't show off if you have no money. Smile rather than frown. Friends often remember, happy life!

8) Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: Is the beauty unlucky?

9) The mouse fell in love with the cat and sang: I love you, I love you, just as the mouse loves rice, no matter how many storms, I will still accompany you. Cat: Don't be vain. My mother said that love without marriage purpose is hooliganism!

10) lovers should be gentle as water and sweet as honey, colleagues should be diligent and have no temper, and friends should have a runny nose, so, dear, wipe your nose quickly in the new year and have a clean New Year!

1 1) Napoleon: I can't find it in my dictionary? Missed it? These three words.

12) eating watermelon is cool, beauty beauty is cucumber, evergreen diuresis is wax gourd, and the sweetest is cantaloupe. You are family with them. Why are you hiding underground? So you are a sweet potato.

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