Ask Degang Guo for a cross talk script! ! ! Urgent! ! !

Degang Guo Yu Qian's 22 short passages: /f? Kz=15158134

(The link is complete, only a part is posted due to the limitation of words)

Paragraph 1

Guo: Thank you. If you don't have the ability, you will have the strength. Good or bad aside, you listen to a fresh. So many friends came, and some of them waited at the door for a long time because they didn't have tickets. There was nothing to report, so we could only say a few more words to express our feelings.

Yu: yes.

Guo: We are just afraid that it will be too late. What if we go back without a car?

Yu: I can't go back.

Guo: (asking the audience) Nothing? You sure it's okay? Ok, by train? Living so far away, and ... If you are willing to listen, I am willing to talk. Yu Qian, it's my brother.

Yu: Well, we are other disciples.

Guo: We have cooperated for three or four years. I dare not say that it is a perfect match, but I always think that this is a particularly good performer.

Yu: oh, I'm flattered.

Guo: that's great. Anywhere is good. Ah, anywhere is fine.

Yu: haha, thank you.

Guo: But ...

Yu: It's about to be done.

Guo: people always have shortcomings!

Yu: yes. You're here for shortcomings.

Guo: Let me compliment you first.

Yu: Yes, give a sweet jujube to eat first.

Guo: it's good everywhere, but it's a little careful in spending money.

Yu: it's not a problem to be too careful.

Guo: yes. Old Yu's family is said to have a family style ...

Yu: What rules?

Guo: If you don't pick up anything in the aisle, you will lose it!

Yu: What's the family style?

Guo: I went home for dinner in the evening. After eating, I pushed my rice bowl and stood up. He went out to work.

Yu: what class are you in?

Guo: go out and pick up money.

Yu: I take collecting money as my job.

Guo: I found it everywhere. Picking up and hating at the same time, people have learned badly, so why can't anyone throw money? I picked up a piece last year!

Yu: ah? What the hell?

Guo: hmm? A look at the ground, there are ten dollars.

Yu: oh, yes.

Guo: I was so excited that I cried.

Yu: it's so rare.

Guo: my god, it hurts! (stomping)

Yu: Why did you step on it?

Guo: the rules of collecting money. Step on it first, there is no one on either side, and squat down to tie your shoelaces. Usually go out barefoot.

Yu: that's why you tie your shoelaces.

Guo: I'm afraid of wasting my shoes. Hey, this money goes to the front.

in: huh?

Guo: (stomping) Hey, I'm leaving again. (stomping again) Oh, look at this. (stomping)

Yu: Still chasing it.

Guo: what's the matter? A kidnapping gang hacked him. The money is focused on, tied with a fishing line, one meter long.

Yu: That long?

Guo: that's it. He will see this man as soon as he looks up.

Yu: I didn't even lift my head.

Guo: no, no. Follow. People are like this (matchmaking): Come, follow ...

Yu: You see how easy it is to tie me up.

Guo: They live in Jinsong and follow them to Langfang.

Yu: ho! This is called a trap!

Guo: When I looked up, Hulachao was tied up. Done, a large group of people, some people say: throw it on the car! The other end said, hey, what a bother! Flash 1 yuan: here!

Yu: ah? Still following?

Guo: Say, home phone! Call your daughter-in-law for money. The phone is connected: we have Yu Qian!

Yu: oh.

Guo: don't report the case, but cooperate. Sister-in-law loves her the most

Yu: yes.

Guo: Oh, come on! Don't hit him or scold him. If I cooperate, don't you want money? Easy to discuss. I will never call the police. Go ahead, but let's be honest. If you exceed 1 yuan, just kill the tickets.

Yu: ah?

paragraph 2

Guo: why? Why is this happening? According to the statement, it won't. Actually, his family is quite rich. (Really) Take his father for example ... < P > Yu: Don't shoot yourself!

Guo: There are flies ...

Yu: There are no flies, this month.

Guo: Their father is supposed to be quite rich. There is no shortage of food and drink in their family, so it is reasonable to say that this is not the case. To tell the truth, his father is very prominent in that job.

Yu: oh.

Guo: His practice is not suitable for the old man.

Yu: Really?

Guo: His father, a grave robber.

Yu: it's not as good as mine.

Guo: Grave robbers. Archaeology, knowing where there is a grave, if the country doesn't dig it, his father will go and make cultural relics to sell. Carrying that Luoyang shovel, I'm still singing when I go home: I have nothing to do today, so I'm going to hold the land ~ ~ < P > Yu: Stop singing.

Guo: I went there again.

Yu: Really?

Guo: In a village in Hebei Province, a grave was scratched open, and there was a skeleton inside. There was a tiger skin skirt at the waist of the skeleton, and there was an iron bar on the ground, which read: Ruyi golden hoop, weighing 36 thousand Jin.

Yu: the words above are correct.

Guo: His father wondered, Wukong's grave?

Yu: quite familiar!

Guo: why? Is it true?/You don't say. Big, beep ~ ~, big, beep ~ ~, the longer it is, the bigger it is.

Yu: oh.

Guo: I can't take this. Small, small, small, small, du ~ ~, so big, put it in my ear.

Yu: My father is Sun Monkey?

Guo: it's a wonderful journey to the west.

Yu: oh.

Guo: just now, the village chief came, with four people and red hoops. What do you do? This is Wukong's grave!

Yu: oh.

Guo: I don't know. Village head: Where's the wishful golden hoop? Your father: I don't know!

Yu: not recognized.

Guo: Ah, your mouth is quite tight. That's great. Your mouth is quite peeing. Take it out, take it out. Your father: I didn't see it!

Yu: I can't.

Guo: You paid out 1 yuan.

Yu: ah? One hundred dollars?

Guo: I didn't. I didn't know. I didn't know if you killed me! Village head: You are looking for bad luck, you are looking for bad luck!

Yu: what's the matter?

Guo: You want to go. Big! Dead.

joke 4

Guo: can you afford a tortoise if you don't have two spare money?

Yu: what about something else?

Guo: say something else. The Spring Festival is coming soon, and it is snowing these days. Everyone who comes out and goes in should be careful. The soles of your feet are slipping. Be careful when you get older. Walk slowly and don't fall. It's new year, and we're still buying new year's goods. Prepare in advance. Our family's Spring Festival is just like that, and it can't be compared with others who are old at home.

Yu: You can't leave me alone in three sentences. This is.

Guo: His father is rich! His father does that.

Yu: You are going to repeat this paragraph.

Guo: no, I haven't praised you yet. Spending money at home, spending money in three major sections is like peeing pants.

Yu: there is no such metaphor!

Guo: don't take it personally, don't take it personally.

Yu: I don't care.

Guo: By the time it's 3, at home, ouch! Come on, it's already ready, bag by bag, listen at 12: 11, bang! The bell rang. Cook! Hurry up, the pot is boiling, too. Get off! What fire spoon, big tofu, intestines, lungs, peeled garlic to eat.

Yu: Do we eat stewed fire spoons at home for 3 nights?

Guo: Old Beijing!

Yu: what is the rule?

Guo: People from old Beijing.

Yu: you can't eat this either!

Guo: Good! This is eating, delicious and everything. When you go abroad, you don't like it when people eat it.

in: abroad?

Guo: hmm. People pour a glass of red wine, cake, and just clove garlic, which is all there.

Yu: we don't have this here. The cake is garlic?

Guo: and those who eat raw meat. I cut the steak, and it bleeds. How to eat that thing when it is ripe?

Yu: a mature one?

Guo: actually, when we were eating and drinking blood, at that time, we all asked when we went home.

Yu: then who do you ask?

Guo: ask the old man. When we wore leaves ...

Yu: There were no such old people.

Guo: don't you just eat raw meat? There is still that abroad now.

Yu: anything else?

Guo: Yes! Eat human flesh. Cannibals are also three people living in a family. Get up in the morning, the daughter-in-law is neat in the cave, and the father takes his son: go, go, go hunting with his father.

Yu: Go hunting ...

Guo: The child is hungry: Dad, I'm hungry. Stop it. You eat first if you hit someone. Hey, here's one. Bowing and archery ... No, it's too stupid.

Yu: thin.

Guo: it's too thin. Stuffed, don't take this. The child cried: Ah, I'm hungry. Wait a minute. Look over there. Fat man, too fat, it's not good for your health after eating this.

Yu: it's quite charming.

Guo: The child cried: starved to death. Stop it! Here, here, here. Hey, when I look at the river, there is a beautiful woman washing her face there.

Yu: that's good.

Guo: Child: Dad! Well, take it alive!

Yu: how did this change to live?

Guo: don't worry about it, don't worry about it. Dad is useful. Stop it. In the past, I caught it, tied it up and put it on my shoulder: go, go home with my father. Gee, dad, I'm hungry. Stop it. Go home and stew your mother.

Yu: ah? There is no such thing!

paragraph 1

Guo: besides, it is the tenth one. Remember, it's the tenth one. This, over 1? See you later.

Yu: this sentence scared me out.

Guo: it's snowing. In fact, I would like to say more, just for fear that everyone will not go back. When I came here today, I almost had an accident in the driveway. I called the Beijing-Tianjin Expressway, and halfway there, the Beijing-Tianjin Expressway was blocked. I'm in such a hurry that I'm afraid it's too late. How to do it?

Yu: that's right.

Guo: A bunch of policemen are busy there. Come down quickly. I think I know that policeman. That fat man, the traffic police.

Yu: I know, I know.

Guo: I went over: What's the matter? Hey, Mr. Guo, why go? I said I'll go to the show right away. What's wrong with you? Look at this. You know this guy.

Yu: who is it?

Guo: I went over and saw a man lying on the ground. Ah, I don't live, I die! All right, Wang Yang.

Yu: Oh, just the host?

Guo: The host studied Ma Sanli and Wang Yang. I said, what's wrong with this? What's wrong with this? I said fatty, what's wrong with him? After returning home, the couple got into a fight. Speaking of going home, his wife is sleeping with someone else at home. Then his daughter-in-law was anxious and asked him why he broke his word and didn't say he would come back that day.

Yu: Is there such an unreasonable daughter-in-law?

Guo: The man beat him up, and let him accompany him for 1 million. He just shouted there for a long time: I'm not alive, I'm dead! I'm going to burn myself! I'm going to burn myself!

Yu: set himself on fire?

Guo: I'm going to douse myself with gasoline and burn myself. Isn't that what we're dealing with here? All the drivers are collecting money here. Oh, how much did I say to raise money? 3 liters of gasoline, right?

Yu: Still burning?

paragraph 11

Guo: we introduced it just now.

Yu: hmm.

Guo: Teacher Yu Qian's father is an archaeologist. Actually, his father is more coke.

Yu: please wait a moment. Father is father.

Guo: mm ~. Your family is different.

Yu: Why is our family different?

Guo: here are two people.

Yu: how about two people?

Guo: Father is father, and father is father.

Yu: I haven't heard of it.

Guo: Don't worry about this. If you ask this clearly, you will feel sick.

Yu: I don't ask. It's worse, you know?

Guo: Why did he rise to the top of the world? After all these years, he has such a wrist, taking TV dramas and making advertisements. Why? His father has a way. His father, an old policeman, has an identity in the public security department. Yes, in Beijing prison.

in: prison?

Guo: It's not a bet. Don't think too much, it's not a bet.

Yu: If you don't say so, who wants to?

Guo: to be an administrator there.

Yu: administrative work.

Guo: Yes, cooking for prisoners.

Yu: It's called a cook, you know?

Guo: Get food for prisoners. Everyone reacted that his father was not good at cooking either.

Yu: not good?

Guo: react to this. It's the same in the prison. Everything happens every day. Once there was a riot, the prison was bombed and a bunch of prisoners ran away. It took a lot of effort to get it back. Ask, ah, why go? Why did you riot? Prison food is too bad.

Yu: ah? Too bad.

Guo: nonsense! Tell me honestly! What did you use to break the lock? Wotou

Yu: ho!

paragraph 13

Guo: there is a man backstage, comparable to Yu qianneng.

Yu: that's not easy.

Guo: I'm talking about money, on a par with him. Is Xu Deliang.

Yu: other lines.

Guo: Xu Deliang lives and has a fight with him. If you don't spend money, you don't spend money. All the money is tied to your ribs. It hurts to move your liver. You have to scoop a spoonful to taste the salty water when you pick a big shit and pass by his door.

Yu: ho! So love to take advantage.

Guo: He was happy when it rained. He went to the front room and looked for dog urine and mushrooms. He pulled them off and ate them. Don't buy food. We are performing at the overpass. When it rained, he left and called his wife: Come on, come on, come on.

Yu: what?

Guo: find a pot and a pot, grab that mushroom outside, borrow the stove at the front desk and cook it. Eat this. Everybody look at them, coke, can you eat this thing? It's okay, the wild ones are the freshest. There is no pesticide here, you know. No problem. Everyone said, well, are you so sure? Don't worry about it. Look, our dog is here. Come on, let's get this bowl for the dog first. Dogs eat, eat and run, and it's okay for half an hour. Ok, Xu Deliang is happy in the back. Come on, eat. Don't let others, Dangdang, eat it all.

Yu: ok.

Guo: Just finished eating, we have a child backstage named Zhu Yunfeng, nicknamed Shaobing. Here comes the baked wheat cake: Uncle Shi, the dog is dead.

Yu: ah?

Guo: Xu Deliang's face turned white. What should I do? I can't live. I have to make it spit out! What shall I do? Everyone's idea: go to the toilet, drink urine, and go quickly.

Yu: Drink urine?

Guo: The couple ran to the toilet, drank urine and vomited. I vomited clean. Oh, this is too uncomfortable. Sesame cake, let me ask you, was my dog miserable when he died? What a tragedy! A big truck came and blare ~ ~ crushed it to death

Yu: It wasn't poisoned!

paragraph 14

Guo: it's no fun just talking about modesty. There is another person backstage who is valued by everyone. This man's name is Jing Li.

Yu: well, here we are again.

Guo: Jing Li is my close teacher and brother. Where did this come from? From Mr. Jin Wensheng.

Yu: oh, from Mr. Jin.

Guo: Xihe Dagumen, we are brothers. We add words, and it is the two of us who add happiness and longevity. Me and him, I can't wait.

Yu: what's the matter?

Guo: this man has a violent temper.

in: Jing Li? Jing Li, he is slow.

Guo: hmm? Slow? I think he's pretty violent.

Yu: Then you are slower than him?

Guo: What about him? I want to hit him every day when I talk. Didn't see him in a hurry. ~ ~ Why are you going? ~ ~ huh? Nothing? ~ ~ He can worry people to death all day long. good