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Write a collection of jokes in English

Jokes make people understand the essence of things, the development track and process of things, the philosophy of life, the truth of being a man and the moral norms of being a man in a humorous way. The following is a joke I wrote in English. Welcome to read!

Write a joke in English

Say goodbye to your troubles

A Jew, an Indian and a black man lined up to enter the kingdom of heaven.

A Jew, an Indian and a black man lined up to enter the gate of heaven.

The Jew said to 66-year-old St. Peter, "Frankly speaking, I am surprised to be here." All my life, Christians have despised and abused me. "

The Jew said to St. Peter, "Frankly speaking, I am surprised to be here. I have been despised and insulted by _ _ all my life. "

"This is a great sorrow for us," said St. Peter, "but you can't find that kind of prejudice here. Everyone is truly equal here. Just spell God and you can enter. "

"We are really sorry," said St. Peter, "but we don't have such prejudice here. Everyone here is completely equal. As long as you spell the word God, you can enter heaven. "

The Jews really spelled God and were kicked out of the house. Then, the Indian came up and said, "St. Peter, I have suffered from poverty and discrimination all my life, so I can only live on a reservation." Will I really be free here? "

After spelling God correctly, the Jews were called in. Then the Indian came forward and said, "St. Peter, I have been hit by poverty and racial discrimination all my life, and I can only live on a reservation." Can I get real freedom here? "

"My son, your trouble is over. Just spell the word God and you will be as free as a bird. "

"Brother, your trouble is over. As long as you spell the word God, you can be as free as a bird. "

The Indian agreed, and he entered the kingdom of heaven.

Indians followed closely and were soon introduced to heaven.

Next, the man in black strode forward. "St. Peter," he said, "people have looked down on me and treated me unfairly all my life. That won't happen here, will it? "

Then the black man stepped forward. "St. Peter," he said, "people have looked down on me all their lives and treated me unfairly. Those things won't happen here! "

"Of course not, my child. We don't do that here. Just spell "onomatopoeia" and the kingdom of heaven is yours.

"Of course not, my brother, we won't do such a thing. As long as you spell onomatopoeia, the kingdom of heaven is yours! "

Writing jokes in English Part II

Black English

The black couple already have eight children, and Lula May is pregnant with the ninth child. Finally, she persuaded her husband to have a vasectomy.

A black couple has eight children, and Lula? May was pregnant with her ninth child, and finally she persuaded her husband to have male sterilization.

On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband put on his evening dress and get into a limousine to go to the hospital.

On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband wearing a dress and taking a limousine to a hospital not far away.

"Hey, honey, what's going on?" Lula May asked.

"Honey, what's going on? Lula? " May asked.

"Baby, if you want to be important, you have to look important.

"Baby, if you want to be a big shot, let people know that you are important at first sight!"

Writing jokes in English (Part III)

A financial lesson

Smith is the manager of a construction company and is bidding for a new project. The first bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered $400,000. "That seems reasonable," Smith said. "Can you give me a detailed explanation?"

Smith is the manager of a construction company. He is in charge of bidding for new projects. The first bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered 400,000 yuan to take the case. "That seems reasonable," Smith said. "Can I have a detailed list?"

"Of course," said the Polish, "200,000 dollars for labor and 200,000 dollars for materials."

"Sure, no problem," said the representative of the Polish company. "The salary is 200,000, and the materials are 200,000."

The next bidder is Standard American Construction Company, with a bid of $800,000.

The next bidder is American Standard Construction Company, and they bid 800,000 yuan.

"Well, it seems a little high," Smith said. "What is the fault?"

"Well, the price seems a little high," Smith said. "Do you have a detailed list?"

"400,000 dollars of materials and 400,000 dollars of labor."

"400,000 materials and 400,000 wages."

"I'll contact you again."

"I'll contact you later."

Finally, representatives of Cohen, Goldstein and leibowitz walked into Smith's office. "US$ 65,438+0,200,000 is our bid," said the agent. "

Finally, John? Goldstein? The representative of Leibowitz Company walked into Smith's office. "1200,000 yuan is our bid," the representative said.

"This is outrageous," cried Smith. Can you explain it to me in detail? "

"1200,000 yuan is too high," cried Smith. "Can I have a detailed list?"

"No problem," the representative replied. "I have $400,000, you have $400,000 and the poor have $400,000.

"No problem," the representative replied. "I have 400,000 yuan, you have 400,000 yuan, and the last 400,000 yuan is for the company opened by that Polish guy."

Writing jokes in English Part IV

It's really sad to hear the news.

A foreign tourist met an Indian while traveling in the American West. His ear was stuck to the ground.

A foreign tourist visited the western United States and met an Indian who put his ear to the ground.

"What are you listening to?" He asked.

"What are you listening to?" He asked.

"The coach passed about half an hour ago.

"A carriage was here half an hour ago."

"How do you know?"

"How do you know? ?

"I broke my neck."

"My neck is broken."

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