QQ space is super personality. Don't think you can bite just because you are a dog.

First, this summer, we will be separated. Those crazy people, I will remember you.

I didn't see me squatting in the toilet and turning on the tap and crying.

◆ 【 Why should I let your carnival city turn off the lights for me 】

In fact, you don't love me, but you happened to meet me. ]

Third, don't say love easily, the promise you make is the debt you owe!

Fourth, I later found that many people's worlds don't lack me at all.

If you leave, I will pretend that you have never appeared in my world.

6. [y Even if you were crazy at first, you forgot what you looked like at last]

Don't think you can bite just because you are a dog.

Eight, "The story is very long. I'll make a long story short. I like you for a long time. "

Nine, Brother Kun has a very correct sentence: Reality is a lock, which locks too many self, but it can only be with reality. what do you think?

The man you like is only suitable for being an object, and the man who likes you is suitable for being a husband.

Don't tell others about your misfortune like a victim.

Wife: Honey, what are you doing? Husband: Shopping with one of my most important friends. Wife: Your shirt is very beautiful.

-I don't like taking the initiative because I'm afraid I'll end up narcissistic

Thirteen, how time flies! You like someone else in the blink of an eye.

Fourteen, some people sleep on the table, others will think that she is crying; Some people are crying on the table, while others think she is sleeping.

Fifteen, many times, if you look too deep, you will be unhappy. It's better to be naive and heartless.

Sixteen, [you lost me again without warning, but gave me a deep hug and left]

Seventeen, the person who cares most suddenly changed his tune.

Eighteen, there is no 100% other half, only two people with 50 points form a 100% couple.

Nineteen, can't help but forget in beauty, can't help but recall in sadness. .

Twenty, the sniper behind WSX. Is a friend's disguise a desolation of society or a snake swallowing an elephant?

Don't think that you can hit people with less clothes.

Introduction: A psychopath came to the bank's withdrawal window, knocked on the glass and asked the waiter, "Is this glass bulletproof?" The waiter answered yes. Then the psycho asked, "Is it explosion-proof?" The waiter turned pale with fear and was about to call the police. The psycho took out two large and small kings and stuck them on the glass and said, "Blow!" Ten seconds later, the waiter said trembling, "I can't afford it!" "

One day, the teacher was giving a lecture, but no one was listening. The teacher shouted to everyone to be quiet, but no one paid attention to him. So, I pushed the sleeping monitor and told him to be in charge of discipline (the monitor is fierce). The monitor stood up and shouted, "Quiet!" Suddenly no one spoke. GC is the display, and immediately said, "TMD, what's that noise?" Listen carefully to my son! "

2. A science man finally fell in love with the girls in his class after failing to pursue several liberal arts girls. But he is always distressed because he can't say some romantic love words. One day, he was visiting the park with his girlfriend when he suddenly had a brainwave and said affectionately, "Since I met you, I feel my world has become smaller." The science girl winked and said, "Do you think I'm fat?"

Father and son, one carrying a big hoe, the other carrying a small hoe, went to the field to weed. After a while, I heard gongs and drums in the distance. It turns out that someone in the village married a daughter-in-law. The son put down his hoe, blushed and said to his father, "Dad, I am twenty this year." The father looked at his son and said, "Oh, let's get a big hoe tomorrow."

4, the ubiquitous hidden rules, a landlord college students, just after the final exam, cheat sheets were found by invigilators. The horse immediately put the cheat sheet in his pocket, came to the exam and said, take it out. I accidentally took out 100 yuan in my wallet. The invigilator paused, smiled and took away 100 yuan, leaving me messy in the wind. ...

5. One day, Xiaoming asked his teacher a question he didn't understand. What is beauty and what is regret? The teacher thought for a moment and replied, "I had a good dream and I still remember it now." "It's beautiful, huh! What about regret? I'm awake.

6. Teachers will encounter all kinds of interesting answers when correcting papers at the end of the term. Test 1 of a certain grade: Change the following sentence into anthropomorphic sentence, the sentence is "Birds chirping in the tree", and most students change it into "Birds singing in the trees" as usual. Suddenly I saw a sentence: the bird cried in the tree: "I am a man!" " I am human!

7. Before Zhang Fei and Guan Yu became sworn, they met one day and practiced calligraphy together. After a while, Zhang Fei studied it carefully and found that his handwriting was not satisfactory. He turned to Guan Yu and said, "My handwriting is too ugly. What about yours? " Guan Yu put down his pen and clenched his fists, saying, "You are so ugly! It's a long story Nice to meet you! "

8. Several pregnant women in the company are still at work. One day, the leader came down to be considerate of the employees and asked them for months when he saw their bellies! Then say yes, yes, it must be a man, and everyone is happy! Then another one came, and the leader asked: Wow, the watermelon is so big, it has been several months! I only heard my sister paper say shyly: Sorry, it's been several years! ! Leader: Yes, yes, try Nezha!

9. When I was in junior high school, I secretly fished in a fish pond in the next village. I caught more than a dozen fish, big and small, and others caught me. I was forced to bring the fish to my home and ask my parents to pay for it ... I had no choice but to take them home. Dad saw me coming back with fish and said, "I tell you, the fish in that fish pond will take the bait, but unfortunately not as much as last time ... Hey, who's behind you?"

10, Aunt introduced his girlfriend to Hall's friend and asked him for photos. Hall took the ID card and the photo was invincible. I didn't expect the girl to see such a real person. They are really together. I just want to say: what kind of people have what kind of life!

1 1, the chairman said to Xiao Ming: Xiao Wang, there is something you can help me with. I want my daughter to take over the company. Shuiyue won't come anyway. You are all young people. You can help me convince her. I can't lose you afterwards. The next day Xiaoming went to the chairman: Dad, ok, she will go to work tomorrow. The chairman was startled: who do you call dad? Xiaoming: Didn't you tell me to sleep with your daughter? She was really touched! I'm still holding the wall CHAIRMAN: Get out.

12, female a: stop filming, a mirror has been filmed for half an hour. Woman B: Who makes me so attractive? Woman A: I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people. One is beautiful, the other is you.

13, a few days after school, oral ulcer. I put up with it for a few days at first, but then I couldn't eat any more. My father took me to the hospital for emergency treatment at night. Finally, when I opened my mouth, the doctor shouted, "Don't look, the oral ulcer is late!" " "My dad is weak when he hears Late Edition. Then the doctor said slowly, "It's almost ready. Don't waste money. "

14, let my colleagues wait for me to have dinner together at night. He went to eat by himself. So I calmly walked to the canteen, locked his bike with mine and turned off his cell phone!

15, grandma is superstitious. She said it takes nine monks to become a cat, so her cat is also a vegetarian. Poor cat, she hasn't eaten a bite of broth since she was a child, let alone fish. This day, grandma asked me to help him boil water. I asked her, "Why do you want to boil water?" Grandma said, "when the cat grows up, I will shave it!" " "I said in surprise," What are you going to shave the cat for? " Grandma said solemnly, "This cat was changed by a monk. Now I have to shave when I grow up! " "

16, chat with my eight-year-old nephew after tutoring him in English. I teased him about whether there were any beautiful girls in his class that I liked. His words made me instantly confused: "Aunt, you know me. If I love someone, I won't say it easily! "

17, several girls are talking about the pressure of their boyfriends. A said: "I put 20% pressure on my boyfriend and feel that my life has improved a lot now." B said: "I give my boyfriend 50% pressure and feel that the future of both of us is bright." C said: "I gave my boyfriend 100% pressure and felt that other girls' lives were much better. Now he is an ex-girlfriend. . . "

18, went to buy shoes with some classmates. After visiting several stores, I finally saw a pair, but I still want the boss to lower the price. One of them said, "Boss, make it cheaper. There are many of us." Hearing this, the boss stood up and said, "Why, there are many people, and I'm afraid you'll be wordy!" " "

19, I just had dinner with some friends, one of whom was an idiot who played games in the internet cafe all night yesterday. He was so sleepy while waiting for the food that he banged his head on the table, which was neither painful nor itchy. I pushed him and he didn't wake up. Just as the waiter's sister was nearby, we said, why hasn't the food been served yet? I fainted. This confused the girl and ran and shouted: manager, manager, manager! Someone at table 5 is starving!

20. I am a senior three, and I am studying hard. Today, the math teacher bought a lot of steamed buns and gave the whole class the same pair of shoes to eat. I instantly found out how much we love her, but 10 minutes later, the teacher asked us with a pile of test papers: children, are you full? It's time to go to war when you're full! After that, Mr. A angrily threw half a steamed bread on the ground and shouted: This TM is actually a decapitated meal!

2 1, the traffic police saw a driver struggling to push the car in the street and asked, "Is there something wrong or is there no gas?" Do you need help? " "I forgot to bring my driver's license when I went out."

22, the wife said: Lao Wang is upstairs, there is a lot of money at home, breakfast is solved at McDonald's! Today, I saw him coming out from the inside with a satisfied face. I said: you are really rich! He smiled: "Oh, I just went to the toilet and didn't bring my own paper and water. Who told him that he was a foreigner and earned our money? "

23. Xiaoming has been watching the teacher giggle in class. Teacher: Xiaoming, why do you keep smiling at me? Xiaoming: Because I have a cold. The teacher said with concern: Do you still laugh when you have a cold? Did you take your medicine? Xiao Ming: Laugh after taking medicine. Teacher: Why? Xiaoming: The advertisement says it will work all day! Teacher: Yes. .

24. I saw the most beautiful joke today: M: I like you for a long time. Can you be my girlfriend? The woman came over and pa ... The man covered his face: Why? Don't hit me even if you don't agree. Woman: Nima, I have been in love for a long time. Why didn't you say so earlier and let me be single until now?

25. Going home by bus, a foreigner is listening to music with a mobile phone. The loud headphones make me a little impatient. After thinking for two minutes, I finally got up the courage to say to the foreigner in English, "Can you turn down your voice?" "What's it to you?" roared the foreigner in clear and common words.

26. One day, on the bus, a girl got on the bus and wore a miniskirt. A buddy took a glance and the girl slapped the buddy. That buddy is really anxious. He took off his pants and slapped the girl, saying, don't think you can hit people with less clothes. ...

27. In the morning, before I woke up, my girlfriend was busy in the kitchen. The smells of apples, eggs, chicken soup, milk, pancakes and all kinds of delicious food came to my face, and I felt a sense of happiness. When I woke up and walked into the kitchen, my girlfriend had eaten all these, and no one was left! Leave a note for me to brush the pot and dishes!

One day, our teaching director was kidnapped. The kidnapper demanded a ransom of/kloc-0.0 million yuan, and said that if he didn't give it, he would burn him with gasoline. When he heard this, the whole school was shocked and the students discussed it privately. You know how the dean usually treats us. We can't turn a blind eye like other students. Why don't we donate some? Yes, donate some. A: Then how much do you donate? B: Donate three catties of gasoline first. A: Then I will donate five catties!

29. One day, a car accident happened in the street. A woman sat in her sagitar and called: Husband, there was an accident! Nothing, I broke a bread. A man outside the car said foolishly, tell your husband that bread is called Land Rover. ...

30. I go to a distant city on business, so I prefer to fly. Fast and convenient. Unexpectedly, I just arrived at my destination. Just after the plane landed, a buddy in the front seat was hanging around with a ticket in his hand and kept talking. Listen carefully: Nima. In fact, it is "this insurance is useless again!"

Editor's note: I have a good girlfriend who has been inseparable since childhood. She came to my house the other day and cried that she had been cheated by her partner for eight years. I said no, you have been together for eight years. Unexpectedly, she cried even more. My best friend said that I was sad because I stayed there for eight years. At this moment. I can't help but sigh: men don't have a good thing. Eight years of love! I can't resist a temptation.

Women should not think that they can stop studying because they are good, and men should not think that they can grow up if they study well.

1, public relations means: Zhang Zi is not as good as chopsticks, chopsticks are not as good as face, face is not as good as ticket, and ticket is not as good as braid.

2. Smile at the sun and be happy together.

The sky with you is always blue.

4. Make a mistake for the first time, make a mistake for the second time and make a mistake for the third time.

One day, I will take off my mask for someone.

6. Maybe I'm not your favorite, but I know you best.

7. Love is not everything. So don't blindly pursue eternal happiness.

8. Women should not think that they can stop studying because they are good, and men should not think that they can grow ugly because they study well.

9. I'm just a madman with unique feelings.

10, if one day I die, please don't come near my body, because I don't have the strength to reach out and help you wipe your tears.

1 1, I don't want to wake up, I would rather indulge all the time. I don't know the way back, but I would rather pursue it without regret all my life.

12, I have never doubted myself. I have never been discouraged.

13, a person has at least one dream and one strong reason.

14, eunuchs will go to brothels, and Liu Xiahui will do nothing because he is gay!

15, the flowers of the motherland bloom and I step on one.

16, what do you mean things are different? You turn the message board from the back to the front, and those who say they will always be with you no longer contact.

17, you can't blame me for not doing well in the exam, but I will. It didn't pass the exam at all.

18, women sleep with money and men are haggard.

19, at the beginning, we were all just children.

20. Time is only responsible for the flow, not for your growth.

Qq space is a good way to talk about personality.

1. You are not my makeup contact lens. Why should I take you seriously?

2. I must appear in your household registration book. I can't be your husband, but I can also be your little father.

I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain learned to swim.

You laugh at my friends who are seldom alone, and I pity your many insincere friends.

I must appear in your household registration book, either your wife or your stepmother.

6. People who talk about me behind my back. I want to tell you. I'm not your mother. There are not so many stories for you to remember.

7. Don't challenge my personality with your temper, it will make you die rhythmically!

8. Sweet talk, I can't, romantic flirting, I can't, for you, there is only one heart.

No matter how miserable life is, we can't stop our fierce fighting spirit and firm smile.

10. Believe it or not, I fanned you on the wall and couldn't take it off.

1 1. The whole world can be yours, but you can only be mine.

12. Don't spoil the word youth, you are in early autumn.

13. Don't think that you are better than anything to make me bow.

14. Your contact with me is limited. I will let you see that I am on the blacklist.

15. Our feelings are as strong as RMB.

16. Who didn't love one or two scum by mistake when they were young?

17. Sometimes, I really want to get a terminal illness and see who really cares about me.

18. Say goodbye to the past and walk away without looking back.

19. I'd rather not have the love I got by humble retention.

20. In this life, people should not only rely on relationships, but also rely on skills.

2 1. Maybe it's because I'm too young to know what treasure is.

22. Feelings are nothing and not worth being hurt by so many people.

23. At this moment, we must live proudly.

When I came into this world, I didn't intend to go back alive.

25. I live on one breath of oxygen, and oxygen is you.

We should all face the sun and live proudly.

Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

28. If you hate me, I don't mind at all. I don't live to please you.

Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

30. I came into this world with no intention of going back alive.

3 1. Brothers are United, why can't the enemy stop me?

32. My brother has given me glory, and I am even crazier than the sky.

33. Brothers are people who shed tears and bleed together. Who moved my brother? I made him disappear.

34. Brother, I have something to say to my buddy. Although he is not easy to mix, he can get you a knife!

35. The key word is the first word. They make us cry, and we make them bleed.

36. If you dare to break my sister's heart, I will break yours completely.

Wan Shui Qian Shan is always in love, so I can't touch my sister.

You kill me, since I came to this world alive, I have no intention of going back alive.

39. Men are nothing, but sisters are king.

40. Even if the world has only five minutes left, we will go crazy together.

4 1. To be or not to be!

42. Why do men need divorce certificates when they are reliable?

43. It is said that men are sexy. In fact, women are not much better, but men are obvious and women are introverted.

44. Women are tools to make human beings, while men are human beings who use tools.

45. You said I was your woman, so I doubt whether you are my man.

46. I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths.

47. Women's success lies in shaping their own men to make more women like them.

48. In real life, men can never resist the temptation of the lower body.

49. Whoever dares to rob the man I think, my sister will shoot her.

50. Men and Four Ghosts: Going home from work at night is a poor man, going home at 9 o'clock at night is an alcoholic, going home at 12 o'clock at night is a goat, and going home at 4 o'clock in the morning is a gambler.

5 1. The man pulls, but still throws, hanging around in my blacklist.

52. I am not afraid of being betrayed by a man, because I will betray before he betrays.

When I came into this world, I didn't intend to go back alive.

54. The joys and sorrows around me, where you will go, are all the excitement of others, and have nothing to do with me.

55. I am not picky. I just have an attitude of putting quality before quantity, that's all.

Please treat our love in the same way.

57. What lasts forever and what lasts forever are just excuses for icing on the cake.

58. If you can't bear the pain, you can't see happiness.

59. I want to throw my unruly eyes out of my eyes and disintegrate your fragile soul.

60. It's good not to wear glasses. Look carefully at what you want to see and stay away from what you don't want to see.

6 1. I just hope I can understand in class, finish my homework, sleep without cramps, live a peaceful life, and you won't leave me.

62. We all meet the people who want to promise most when we are least able to promise others, and also meet the people who want to stay most when we have to move forward for our ideals.

63. Reality is too false and we are too stupid.

64. I lent you 50,000 yuan and he lent you100,000 yuan. You'll find him more interesting than me. But you don't know that he has 10 thousand, and I only have 50 thousand I gave you a candy, and when you saw that I gave him two, you had an opinion of me, but you didn't know that he gave me two candy, and you never gave me anything! Helping is mutual affection, not helping is duty, cherish those who are good to you! Dedicated to a good friend who doesn't know right or wrong, villain!

65. Nothing is more effective than seeing through it.

One day I want to leave everything behind and go anywhere I want.

67. To be a woman who is not flattering, unassuming, elegant and graceful, just watch a warm afternoon and show her true self with a beautiful flower in a fleeting year. In your own sun and moon, read the power of life patiently; Interpret the beauty of life with blooming. The years are quiet, so am I.

68. Don't blame me for my bad temper. I don't protect myself in this world. Who will protect me?

69. I am not suitable for weakness, because there is no hug behind me.

70. Recently, I have been puzzled about one thing: learning Chinese can talk to China people, learning English can talk to foreigners, and learning classical Chinese can talk to ghosts.

7 1. People who smile may be sad in the most beautiful way.

72. What unforgettable lies have you experienced since childhood? We'll keep the lucky money for you first.

73. Sometimes, the question you ask, if the other person has been dodging, is actually a euphemism to tell you that the real answer is cruel.

74. Either be a running beast and drink bullets to survive, or be a patient plant and ignore the pain.

75. You are still my weakness, even if I try my best to be brave.