I’m begging for a 4-minute sitcom (drama) that can be both touching and humorous! Thanks ~ It’s best if it can be performed by one person, for talent show purposes

You can consider mime, oboe, stand-up or double-talk. In fact, it will be very good if two people work together. As long as the script is interesting, the performance will be very good, especially the oboe. Print out the script you like and ask for it. Your partner will read the script behind you

You two just need to do it two or three times in coordination. It is the simplest, although it requires two people

Script 1:

Double reed "Sudden Joy Begets Sadness"

Opening remarks: Today we will perform a double reed. Speaking of this double reed, it is very interesting. It requires one person to perform in the front and the other person to speak the lines in the back. From a distance, it looks like one person, which requires the two people to have a very tacit understanding and cooperation in their performance, otherwise the double act will not be called a double act. Hurry up, hurry up, put on makeup, as the saying goes, a person is not beautiful until he matures, and we will see when this person becomes mature, it is better not to mature! What we bring to you next is a new work of ours called "Emergency of Joy Begets Sadness", I hope you like it!

A: The city of life is precious, but the price of love is even higher. In order to earn RMB, he is willing to become a shemale. I haven’t introduced myself yet. My surname is Zhao, and I’m nicknamed Zhao Renyao. Friends here can just call me by my nickname when they see me in the future. Ask me what my nickname is. Tell everyone to remember my nickname. Called a shemale. I am a ladyboy, I am a ladyboy, am I really a ladyboy! (Stop, stop, stop! Come out! Why did I turn into a shemale when I came out of your mouth? Am I called a shemale?

B: Sorry, never, never!

A: My surname is Zhao, and my name is Zhao Zhixiang. The media said that I have a very special appearance, with a face shaped like a slipper. Because of this, many singers sang a popular song for me that everyone liked very much, and it quickly became popular. Popular, ah! What song is so influential? It's the song "I'm Not Zhao Zhongxiang" sung by Wang Rong. Thank you! (Stop! Is this the song Wang Rong sang? She sang "I'm Not Huang Rong". , What kind of cultural level is this? It’s always been!) My job is to sell products. I have a clever way of talking and talking. The biggest feature of me is that I have a great body. , eating Paipai is delicious, and I have never been to a hospital in my life. Yesterday I went out to do sales promotions, and I spotted one. After talking for a long time, he refused to buy my product. I spent more than 300 miles with him, and finally sold him. Bottle won the first prize in the first sales skit competition of Guangxi University of Finance and Economics. The product mentioned in the entry - Naoheijing. In order to celebrate the success of the promotion, I ate 50 salted duck eggs in one bite. I just finished eating half of it. appendicitis.

Yay! Doctor! Cut out the appendix! ! How much money?

B: 2000!

A: 2000! ah! Doctor! 2000 Don’t cut your appendix with that knife! You can just come here! I'll give this whole life to you!

B: How much money would you say?

A: Up to 80!

B: 80! good! 80 is 80!

A: Oops! Cheap! ! I counter-offered 2000 to 80! Otherwise, you have to pay the price for everything you buy! 80 money to cut the appendix! The fish head I chopped yesterday cost more than 80! Tomorrow I will call the whole family together to have the appendix removed! Give you 80 doctor! hurry up! Hurry up! Take advantage of the heat!

B: Why are you so hot? It’s not blacksmithing! I'm having an operation! Get ready! ah! By the way, do you want an anesthetic?

A: Oops! Why are you trying to kill a pig? Nowadays, killing pigs requires anesthesia! Why don't you kill me!

B: You only have 80 yuan! Where was the anesthetic given?

A: It’s time to take anesthesia! Why don't you take anesthesia? Without anesthesia, my screams would kill me!

B: Give anesthesia! Then it’s 800 yuan a shot!

A: 800! Doctor, are you taking anesthesia? Or play XO?

B: Imported anesthetics! Local anesthesia!

B: Doctor, which brand of anesthetic is so powerful?

A: After taking the MiXiaoJiuQuan anesthetic, it feels like death, no feeling at all.

B: Doctor, are there any cheaper ones?

A: There are cheap ones! The effect is not guaranteed! He woke up as soon as he woke up, and the areas that should be numbed were not numb, and the areas that shouldn’t be anesthetized were anesthetized for a long time! I will be irresponsible if it affects your physiological functions and marital life after having a baby!

A: Ah! Those who import, those doctors who import! Taking Hanxiao Jiuquan brand anesthesia is a cheap product with too many side effects! I can't carry it!

B: OK! Get a shot! Does it still hurt?

A: Oops! After all, it’s money, it’s money, it’s goods! It’s numb just because you’re shouting!

B: We’re ready to disembowel it! I want to ask for your opinion, should this scalpel still be sterilized?

A: Doctor! The knives are not sterilized!

B: The disinfection fee is 500 yuan!

A: Then no need! I brought a lighter! It's the same thing if you burn that knife twice on the fire!

B: You are a very imaginative patient! !

A: There is no way! It’s impossible to be uncanny when I encounter a doctor like you!

B: Let’s disembowel him! oops! oops! Bleeding! Oh, you are full of blood! So high! Do you want to stop the bleeding?

A: Of course we have to stop the bleeding! Why doesn't the bleeding stop, doctor?

B: Do you use hemostatic gauze or a rag?

A: Doctor! You still have a rag to stop the bleeding!

B: That hemostatic gauze costs 500 yuan!

A: Ouch! As much money as you want! Stop the bleeding first! It's going to kill me!

B: Yes! If you have this attitude, it will be easier for me! Let me stop the bleeding first! Open the wound! Find the appendix and cut it out with a knife! Congratulations! The operation was a complete success! One last question! Do you want to sew it up again?

A: Doctor, why are you planning to let me go out with my chest? If you go out, you will attract flies!

Script 2: Double Act

Characters: A1, B2 Props: a chair, a box of makeup powder

1: It’s finally our turn to give everyone Performed.

2: Yes, hey, by the way, you just said below that you want to test me, now take the test in front of everyone.

1: Haha, okay then, do you know what "double act" is?

2: Double act? Aren’t they just two yellow eggs~~!

1: For the sample, where are the two yellow duck eggs?

2: No, I’m kidding you, don’t I know about the double act? Double reed is a folk art performance form.

1: I assume you understand, then please explain in detail~~~

2: To put it simply, the form of double act is that one person performs in front and the other person performs in the back. Say, you can't say what you want to act, and you can't act what you want to say.

1: Then~~do you think you can perform an oboe?

2: Of course.

1: Yoyoyo, then I have to test you well today. I'll tell you later, how about you act in front of me?

2: It’s okay, just come.

1: Okay, we’ll start as soon as you slap your hands.

(2 sat on the chair and slapped her hands.)

1: My name is Wang Erlang, winner of the top ten singers, what? Don't you believe it? Then I will sing a song for you. Everyone, please

concentrate (singing) (at this time 2 sounds a bit strange, so stand up.)

2: Come out ! Are you singing? And the winner of the top ten singers.

1: Haha, I got last place that time. Hey, hey, hey, can’t you perform?

If you can’t act, just say it~

2: Who said I can’t act? It’s just~~

1: Okay, okay, then I’ll change it to something else. Now let’s change, what action do I say, what action do you perform, how about it?

2: No problem!

(2 then sit down, clap your hands, then 1 again)

1: Hold out your chest, tighten your abdomen, lift your hips, hold your head high, then close your eyes, stretch out your right hand, Bend upward at a 45-degree angle, stretch out your fingers, stretch back, open your mouth, put it in your mouth, bite, bite, bite hard.

2: Come out!

1: What’s wrong?

2: What’s wrong? Do I still need this hand like you?

1: Didn’t you say there’s no problem?

2: No problem, no problem, my hand is gone! ~

1: Haha, okay then, I’ll change it again.

(Sit down again)

1: Why do I feel something on my face, it’s itchy?

I stretched out my right hand and slapped the left cheek, and stretched out my left hand to slap the right cheek.

Stretch out your right hand and slap the left cheek.

Stretch out your left hand and slap the right cheek...

Stretch out your right hand and slap the left cheek. Stretch out your left hand. ...

(While talking, B stood up and left...)

1: Come back, the performance is not over yet!

2: If you continue to fight, I will become a pig.

1: It’s time to take the curtain call after returning

2: Come back and take the curtain call together

Script 3:

Such a double act

Props: a chair, white makeup paint, a water-soaked handkerchief

(At the beginning, A enters from the left side of the stage to the center of the stage)

A: In As the country celebrates the 55th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you good health, family happiness, and all the best.

B: Dear guests, friends, ladies and gentlemen, good evening!

A: Who are you? Come here to cause trouble!

B: I am Lao Huang

A: Where are you Lao Huang

B: I have to go to Lao Huang

A: Didn’t I already know about Lao Huang, whom you mentioned earlier? Why did you come to Guanli to do this?

B: Isn’t this the National Day Gala in my heart today? The Secretarial Tribe, I’m here to perform for everyone

A, I’m still able to perform programme?

B, why didn’t you win?

A, you did, what did you come to perform?

B, I came to perform an oboe for everyone

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A: Double act? Do you know what a double act is?

B: I really don’t know, so what do you mean by double act?

A: Double act, it’s like “two yolk eggs”.

B: Bah, what a mess.

A: Just kidding, in fact, to put it simply, oboe means one person speaks from behind and the other person acts in front. What needs to be acted cannot be said and what is said cannot be acted, so that "one person talks and learns" .

B: After listening to you say so much, I know that I have a lot of knowledge about this double act. How about we perform for everyone?

A: Okay, let’s try it? You talk from behind and I act from the front.

B: Okay, then just slap your hands and let’s start.

A: (Sit on a chair, clap your hands)

B: Lao Huang, I am thirty-three this year, and my weight has exceeded three hundred and three. If you want to ask me why I am so heavy, It’s not that the Communist Party’s policy is good, let me drink more to eat! Let’s not talk about the past, but let’s just talk about today’s lunch dishes, which are really amazing. There are things flying in the sky, running on the ground, fried and stir-fried, steamed and barbecued. , let’s eat, I eat a mouthful of meat, I drink a mouthful of soup, I eat a mouthful of meat, I drink a mouthful of soup, I eat meat, I drink soup, I eat meat, I drink soup, I eat, I drink, I eat, I drink, I eat... Ouch, my stomach hurts, Ouch, my head hurts, Ouch, my tooth hurts, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, why is my back, back, back, back, back.

A: Just scratch it if it itches!

B: That’s wrong, you can’t speak.

A: Ah, if I continue, I will lose my breath! Otherwise, let's switch, and I'd like you to act.

B: Change it, change it, in this world, who is afraid of whom, but I have to do this and this first.

A: Friends, as the saying goes, a man relies on his clothes and his horse relies on a saddle. This man, if he doesn’t dress up when he gets older, he just won’t look good. There is someone next door to our house. Uncle Li, this old man is over 70 years old. Ever since he watched Zhao Benshan's sketch, he has paid special attention to his appearance. Hey, don't tell me, since Uncle Li dressed up, his waist is no longer sore, his legs are no longer painful, and his feet are no longer cramped. He can go up to the fifth floor in one breath without panting, and he can do it as soon as he goes out on the street. Attracting glances from a group of old ladies. Hey, why is it more difficult for this boy to change clothes than for the big girl to get into the sedan chair? Hey, Lao Huang, are you okay?

B: Okay, here we come.

A: Everyone, look at how he is dressed, oh my god...

B: How about it, he looks handsome.

A: It’s better not to dress up.

B: What are you talking about? This time it officially begins.

A: You can perform whatever I say, but don’t, you can’t perform what I say.

B: I will act whatever you say. Only if you can’t tell me, there is nothing I can’t act.

A: Friends, from the beginning, he has to listen to me. I tell him to go east, but he doesn’t dare to go west. I tell him to chase the dog, but he doesn’t dare to chase the chicken. .

B: Why do you talk so much nonsense?

A: Okay, let’s begin.

A: Push your chest up, retract your hips, raise your head, then close your eyes, stretch out your right hand, bend it upward at a 45-degree angle, stretch out your fingers, stretch back, open your mouth, and put In the mouth, bite, bite, bite hard.

B: Fuck you, I’m crazy, me.

A: Don’t you listen to me?

B: Listen to you! I have no hands to listen to you.

A: Don’t get angry! I'm just trying to see if you can act. Let's start now.

B: Come on.

A: Let’s see how I deal with him. (Speaking to the audience)

(Singing) There is a sun in the sky - (Said) Big, big, big

(Singing) There is a young man on the ground - (Said) Hot, Hot, hot

(Singing) I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, why am I so hot, so hot.

I took out a handkerchief to wipe my sweat,

drink a glass of cold water to clear the fire,

take off my coat and blow some air,

tear Open your tie to let in the cool air;

(Singing) The north wind is blowing, the snowflakes are flying,

Nine cold days are here, I am freezing and stamping my feet,

What's wrong with me? I don't have a fever. I'm confused. I really should fight in such a cold day.

A: I stretch out my right hand and slap the left cheek, and I stretch out my left hand and slap the right cheek.

A: Stretch out your right hand, slap the left cheek.

A: Stretch out your left hand, slap the right cheek,...

A: Stretch out your right hand, Slap the left cheek, stretch out your left hand,...

While talking, B stood up and left...

A: Come back, the performance is not over yet!

B: If you keep beating me, I will turn into a pig.

A: It’s time for the curtain call when we come back.

B returns, let’s take a bow together.

Bow down, that’s it.

Script 3: Crosstalk

Happy New Year's Day

A: Hello, happy holidays!

B: Huh? festival? What holiday? Is it your birthday? Congratulations! Get the red envelope! A: What a mess! My birthday has passed early!

B: Oh, it turns out it’s not your birthday! So what day is today?

A: No, you don’t even know what day it is?

B: Why should I know? Is today important? A: Of course! It is a festival for all of us.

B: Oh, I know, it’s National Day!

A: Ah, it’s not October 1st yet?

B: That’s Women’s Day! Let us wish all the mothers in the world a happy holiday

(Singing: Mom, oh, mom, dear...)

A: Wait wait, wrong again!

B: Is that Labor Day?

A: (laughing) Wouldn’t you be stupid if I didn’t take the 7-day holiday on May 1st? (Touch the other person’s forehead)

B: Go, go, go, you’re stupid Well! Isn’t it Children’s Day?

A: Ah! Are you kidding me? ! ! !

B: If I don’t play tricks on you, how can your classmates laugh?

A: Ah! Am I becoming a clown?

B: Look at your figure, isn’t it a clown, is it an elephant?

A: Okay, okay, it’s a big holiday, I don’t know the same as you anymore!

Let us wish all students a happy holiday together!

B: That’s good, but I don’t have time!

A: Ah! What are you busy with?

B: The school has activities during the day, how can we do it without me?

A: What about tonight?

B: What do you think I am doing?

A: It’s a rare holiday, so I’ll definitely watch TV!

B: Vulgar! Your level is too low!

A: Ah, you have a high level. How high are you?

B: You’re welcome, I’m just too tall.

A: Ah! You are a star! Disrespect, disrespect!

B: It’s nothing, I just occasionally act in a show or something, it’s rare to show my face on the screen! Actually, you can do it too!

A: Me? Can I?

B: Of course! Let all young friends take a look: Look at this little head, smarter than the smart Ikkyu.

Look at this little mouth, more beautiful than the flower fairy. Look at these little eyes, smaller than crayons. The new one is still...

A: Please, stop talking. If you say more, I will become Japanese!

B: Anyway, she is a super little beauty!

A: Don’t be ridiculous. I have to ask you first.

B: If you have anything else to ask, it’s just you! How can I be so good? It makes people blush!

However, usually, my male classmates call me Chibi Maruko-chan.

B: (Secretly: Is she Chibi Maruko-chan? I’m also Watermelon Taro!)

That’s great! I really found the right person today. Come on, let's go to the TV station quickly. (Pull with hands)

A: Hey, hey, don’t pull me first, you pull! We have to hurry!

A: The TV station is not owned by your family. You are a big star. Who will let me in as a primary school student?

B: Oh, judging from your tone, do you not believe me?

A: That’s right, we, a primary school student, can go on TV if he wants to. Then, haven’t Cecilia Cheung and Nicholas Tse lost their jobs long ago? I guess they didn't even let me in through the front door.

B: Then let’s talk to the guard uncle!

A: Please tell me? Do you want me to be like a child begging on the street and say, "Uncle, have mercy on me? Please pull me in. I will die if you don't let me in!"

B: Then They are being used by bad people, we don’t have to be so miserable!

A: What should we say? Let’s just say: "Uncle, please let us in! We are not young anymore, we are over 20!

B: Huh? Over 20?

A: Yes, two people together!

B: Do you still think he has Alzheimer’s disease?

A: Then say: “Uncle, let me in. Can I just give you a big bottle of Wahaha? After drinking my Wahaha,

eating tastes delicious. Mom, I want—baby, ha, ha!

B: Look at you, you’re not famous yet, so you’re starting to do advertising like celebrities! Let me tell you, there is no need for this!

A: Can you really get into a TV station?

B: Nonsense, let me tell you, we are the host of the "June 1st" gala today!

A: Hey! Can we also be a host?

B: Of course, why not? My hair is longer than that of Li Yong, and my Mandarin is 100 times better than that of Liu Yiwei. Why not?

A: So what should we do this year?

B: Listen to me this year.

A: Huh? Are you still the chief director?

B: That’s not true! Last month, I extensively solicited opinions from my classmates and wrote a letter to the TV station,

Explaining our thoughts and ideas in detail, oops! Guess what, people actually adopted it!

A: Really?

B: They all praised me for my courage to participate, and said that I have a sense of reform and an innovative spirit, which is amazing! A small person has a big ambition!

A: Wow! Students, let’s give our big star some applause!

B: (Taking out a sausage from his pocket as a microphone) Thank you, thank you! Everyone’s applause! I must do better than sister Ju Ping!

A: Hey! It really looks like that!

B: (Take a bite) Ha! It tastes great!

A: Cough, cough! Why did you eat it first? Let’s talk about how to hold the “June 1st” party!

B: The overall idea is this: the large studio should be decorated into a beautiful fairy tale world.

There is a forest of birds, colorful wooden houses, exotic flowers and plants, glass palaces, and various large building blocks, which sparkle with wonderful auras and colors under the changing computer lights.

A: It’s so beautiful!

B: Add in the classic children's songs from all over the world, and it's really poetic!

A: The stage must be very beautiful, right?

B: Of course! They are all the best plans selected from the designs of small painters from all over the world, and then combined together,

Wow! That's simply beautiful! It’s easy to get lost if you’re not careful!

A: What are the programs at the party?

B: Wow! That would be wonderful! Let me first introduce the cast.

A: Who is there?

B: Here is the chorus "Ode to the Motherland" played by 100 young actors, featuring heroes from hundreds of patriotic films.

A: OK! Carry forward the tradition of patriotism and strive to revitalize China!

B: Here are Sun Wukong, Snow White, Ma Liang, Little Sanmao, Flower Fairy, Calabash Baby, Black Cat Sheriff, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Smurfs, Transformers, Doraemon A large-scale song and dance show performed by famous Chinese and foreign cartoon actors such as A Meng and Crayon Shin-chan - "Our Unique Festival".

A: OK! Symbolizing the World Children's Festival!

B: What is performed on the stage are small chorus, small ensemble, small dance, sketch, small acrobatics, small martial arts, small cross talk, small play,

Little magic, small games... Anyway Anything except peeing!

A: Nonsense!

B: There are also young reporters interviewing the top ten teenagers; the young host invites our aerospace hero, Uncle Yang Liwei, to meet with you;

The children work hard day and night for our healthy growth. Parents, teachers, and children’s art workers send flowers to express their gratitude!

A: Yes! It should, it should!

B: We also invite representatives of children from poor areas to come on stage and accept our holiday gifts and wishes.

A: We hold hands and are heart to heart.

B: Little calligraphers, little painters, little photographers, little poets and little inventors will perform on the spot!

A: The program is so rich!

B: Yes, the applause at the scene must be louder than the snoring!

A: Who are the guests invited to the party?

B: All the leaders and celebrities from all over the world are here! Even UN Secretary-General Annan is here.

It is a pity that three important figures are missing.

A: Who is missing?

B: President George W. Bush of the United States.

A: This old boy’s airs are really big!

B: What! The war in Iraq has set their backyard on fire, and they are desperate.

How can you still be in the mood to play with us?

A: Who else is there?

B: Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein!

A: His house is also on fire?

B: Your house is on fire! Our Comrade Lao Sa is on trial at the International Court of Justice! Besides, George W. Bush wouldn’t allow him to come!

A: Hey! How pitiful! Then who is the other one?

B: That’s the famous terrorist boss - Bin Laden!

A: It should be bin Laden, right?

B: Anyway Same.

A: What happened to him?

B: He is currently hiding in a cave. He doesn’t dare to answer calls and doesn’t know the address when writing letters!

We really don’t know how to contact him!

A: He’d better not come!

B: Why?

A: If he comes too, there will only be two people left in such a big studio!

B: Where have everyone gone?

A: As soon as they saw Laden, they all ran away!

B: Then why is there another one?

A: That’s the big star!

B: Who is it?

A: Isn’t he the host who is not afraid of death?

B: Ah! It's me! ! !

A: If not you, who else?

B: I won’t do it! I'd better run quickly!