Super short cold joke copy

1. Mom says you can't make irresponsible friends, so all my friends are idiots.

2. Wife: You gave me clothes of 100 yuan, which is an insult to me. Apologizing is too insincere. I won't accept it. Husband: What can I do to make you accept it? Wife: Buy at least one from 200 yuan. Husband: How dare I insult you twice?

From the point of view of boys, British love experts say that girls should be more active. If you just wait for men to come to you, you may wait for love rat, because many decent boys have no idea how to pick up girls.

When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to have one when I grew up. Now my dream has finally come true. Anyway, it's time to wash clothes and cook for my wife later!

Some people are good at geography, physics, history, mathematics, Chinese, English and chemistry. I have a good attitude.

7. My parents always worry that I spend money indiscriminately, but they don't worry that I have money to spend.

8. Others care whether you fly high or not. Whether you are tired or not, only I really care whether your wings are stewed with coke or braised pork!

9. Watch TV with my husband in the living room at night. It's late, my husband said to sleep! I carry my husband behind my back. "Husband, I want you to carry me in!" " "My husband looked at me and said," Forget it, I'll move the bed out for you! " "

10. Today, I asked my wife, "If a man is ugly but rich, would you want it?" ? "Wife:" Why not? I want you to be poor and ugly. "

1 1. Now, what you can't get up is your grades, what you can't get down is your weight, what you can afford is chopsticks, and what you can't get in is the quilt.

12. When I was a child, I looked down on those scum who fell in love. Now that I think about it, I think those students are really powerful, and they have already met someone at a young age.

13. We can't lengthen the length of life, but we can expand the width of life. I think this sentence is so reasonable! It means: although you can't grow taller, you can still gain weight.

14. Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend sitting in the back seat of a battery car, holding her current boyfriend's waist, shivering with cold. I raised my mouth, smiled smugly and got on the warm bus.

15. I like to be friends with foodies. They are all very kind, because foodies are studying what to eat all day and have no time to harm people.

16. The female manager took a nap and stole her WeChat group message: "I am pregnant." Who expected the boss to reply: "Are you sure? This is not a joke. " When we saw the news, we were all shocked. As a result, the boss replied: "The project will be established next, and you are not responsible." I think there's a problem.

17. Poverty limits so many things, why not limit my weight?

18. Why can't I lose weight? Because I like to eat when I am happy, and I have a better appetite when I am unhappy.

19. My sister-in-law went on her honeymoon after she got married, but she was unhappy after the honeymoon. I asked her, "What's the matter?" "She endured for a long time and said," Brother-in-law, your car is very spacious. His car is too small, so it is uncomfortable to sit. "

In order to prevent me from spending money indiscriminately next month, I spent all my money in advance, so I am clean and upright.

2 1. In the morning, I ate noodles at the noodle restaurant, and a couple opposite were eating noodles. The woman unscrewed the iced tea and took a sip. She looked at the bottle cap and said, "Honey, what's another bottle?" "Her husband said he didn't know, so the woman threw the bottle cap underground, and then they got up and left after eating noodles. Just after a few steps, I squatted down and picked up the bottle cap, which read "Thank you for your patronage". When the couple turned around, the woman said, "Bring me a hundred dollars quickly, and I told you someone would pick it up! "

22. The world is so strange. Poverty limits my imagination, but not my weight.

If you have a girl you like, give her a lipstick. At least when she kisses someone else, you still feel involved.

God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my grandson!