Life is like a joke on the phone.

1, the salary is like my period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so. 2. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first or I hang up first. 3, the secret of longevity, keep breathing, don't die. 4. Because I was too cruel before, I am heartless now. 5, some people, when making masks, look much better than real people. 6. I don't tidy my room. I am a beauty in a messy room. 7. Some things don't need to be argued, but they obey on the surface and resist secretly. 8. Brushing your teeth is a bittersweet thing, because you have a cup in one hand and a washing utensil in the other. 9. I am proud of my flat chest. I save cloth for the country. 10, be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

1 1, little mouse, get on the lampstand, steal oil to eat, can't come down, meow meow, the cat is coming, jabber and roll down. 12, Zhou skinned, 51, stealing chickens in the middle of the night, we are playing games to rob Zhou skinned. 13, no blowing? It's easy to get dust, don't you want it? Easy to be punished, not pretending? Easy to get hurt, not handsome? Easy to get wet. 14, someone borrows money from you every three days, and you are tired; You are tired of borrowing money from others every now and then. 15, the world knows that it is good to wrangle, and it takes no effort and no brains. After three or five years, all the problems disappeared. 16, driver's misery: endless smiling faces, endless good words, endless cigarettes and unclear fines. 17, the east wind blows and the drums beat. Now, whoever drinks is afraid, one for you and one for me. Now, whoever drinks it is afraid. 18. When you don't have a girlfriend, you are a hunting dog. When you find your goal, you are a Baha 'i dog. When you get it, you are a German shepherd. When you lose it, you are a dead dog. 19, dry dry, watching and giving advice to dry dry dry, but the advice is not enough, hiding in the dark and framing. 20, the standard of a good wife: derailment is cute, strictness is a long-term solution, not spending money is saving, spending money is tasteful!

2 1, it's not that you don't laugh, you lose your powder when you laugh! 22, don't fall in love with me, hypocrisy. Get married if you can. 23. If you can't tie my heart, don't call me playboy! 24. Fifty cents and fifty cents are the happiest, because they make up a piece. 25. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. 26. Grandpa said: Jay Chou must be a good monk when he becomes a monk, because his scriptures are so beautiful. 27, point is a cigarette, smoking is lonely. 28. Men's hands are not used to wash clothes, but to hug women. 29. Cow dung is cow dung after all, and it will not become sweet cake if steamed in a pot. 30. Don't tell ghost stories at night, because people love to listen and ghosts love to listen.

3 1, the pain of a romantic man: telling lies behind his wife's back, telling jokes when he sees a mistress, talking nonsense when he sees a young lady, and talking nonsense with friends. 32. Get together in the network and fall in love in the network. Sweet words are entangled! How confusing it is to say! By the way, my friend, find out the gender first! 33. If being handsome is a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime. If fashion is a mistake, then I have been wrong again and again. What a miserable life! 34. Rain is ticking, clouds are flowing, songs are free, love is intentional, love is crazy, the sky is eternal, and you are unforgettable. 35, hello, hello, you eat straw, hairy and less meat, love to take a bath with rice soup, and say that the skin care effect is particularly good. You are a rare clown. 36. If two kinds of feelings last for a long time, in pork and pork; We want to fly in heaven, two birds are one, and we want to be a pig with a tail; Don't be a pig in your mouth. 37. pranks should be thorough, destruction should be powerful, making trouble is a patent, pretending to be good is a gimmick, and the whole person depends on talent and fate. Anyway, I will never be restless! 38. Things used by celebrities are called cultural relics, and things used by mortals are called waste. Celebrities who drink too much are called Brewmaster, while mortals who drink too much are called alcoholics. I came to your window again tonight. Why don't you show your head on the curtain? I have a crush on you for so many years, and I won't say anything tomorrow! 40. Men's mixed hair falls backwards; Men don't mix well, their hair leans forward. Women mix clothes and wear less; Women don't mix well and dress like an old lady.