I want a joke! Classic! Urgent! Urgent! Urgent! Urgent! Urgent! Urgent! Urgent!

Three major embarrassments of men in wine fields: being drunk pestering his brother's wife, being drunk pestering his brother, and being drunk pestering his brother's wife.

My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad next time you fail the exam!" " "The next day, my son came back:" I'm sorry, brother! " "

In the evening, my daughter called her mother anxiously: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, something may have happened!" " "

The Arab student sent an email to his father: "Dad, Berlin is a good place. People here are very friendly. But I'm a little embarrassed to go to school. When everyone else goes to school by subway, I will drive a pure gold Mercedes. " Dad wrote back: "son, I transferred 200 million dollars to you." Don't embarrass me, go and buy a subway! "

A boy said to his girlfriend, "I want to break up." I feel bored, so I don't feel it. " His girlfriend said something to him that made him speechless at once. "Hundreds of millions of people in China have long been tired of the national football team. I haven't felt it for a long time. Why didn't the national football team dissolve? 1300 million people's troubles failed to dissolve a team of 1 1 people. Now you say you are bored and want to dissolve the team of two people? !

While eating, a female colleague said anxiously, "I may be popular." Everyone was curious and asked, "What's the matter?" "Just found that I lost a USB flash drive, 8 g.. . .

When I first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male student stepped onto the platform: "My name is Wang Peng, from Beijing. I love playing chess! " Then I went down. The next one is a girl. Shyly, she stepped onto the platform and introduced herself with trepidation: "My name is Shakuyaku ...". .

A leader slept with a young lady after getting drunk. The phone rang, and the young lady answered the phone: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is drunk, please dial again tomorrow!" " "The next day, the leader's wife cursed:" How much wine did you drink yesterday? China Mobile knows it. . .

A millionaire was told that he was terminally ill, and there was only half a year left. He found a killer when he was sad and asked him to kill him when he was happiest. A few days later, the millionaire was told that he was misdiagnosed, laughed happily and was killed by the killer.

Afu, a sailor who has been drifting at sea for more than two years, finally returned to his hometown. But when he got home, he found another baby! Alfred excitedly asked his wife, "Who did this? Is it A Dai next door? " "No." The wife replied, "Is it my friend Agua?" "No." "It must be Xiao Wang, my bloody fair-weather brother!" "How annoying!" The wife cried and said, "Don't I have any friends of my own?"

Xiaoming has always been proud that his father is a great engineer. One day, he met Xiaohua. So I chatted with Xiaohua. Xiaoming said to Xiaohua, "Do you know the Himalayas?" Xiaohua said, "I know." Xiao Ming said, "That was built by my father. Hey hey "Xiaohua was speechless. He thought for a moment. Say, "Do you know the Dead Sea? That was killed by my father. "

A gentleman's QQ is in good condition, which romantically reads: "You pay fifty cents, I pay fifty cents, then we can be together!" " When everyone was envious, another woman said, "You give 60 points, I give 60 points, and we can share a piece of 2 ... Then another woman received," You give 70 points, I give 70 points, and we can die together ... "

Wife: "honey, I just heard a report that there is a car reversing on the expressway." Be careful! " "Husband:" A car? I think there are more than a hundred cars! "

One day Xiao Ming went to the zoo to see gorillas, and he threw up after reading them. Xiao Ming showed it to Xiao Hong, and later Xiao Hong also threw up. Xiaohong asked you to watch it again ... The gorilla threw up. .....

People in China don't wear underwear, and the king encourages everyone to wear clean and warm clothes. A farmer is not used to taking off his underwear. After taking off the stool, he looked back and thought there was nothing on the ground. After sitting down, his ass was hot, and he thought it was warm.