Halloween joke English

Angela Pinorman

It is said that the missionary child has a devil, although no one knows it. The Boyds only spend the weekend in East Windhoek. Prudence, who is eight years old, heard about it from her sister Grace. Grace heard about it from her new friend Anna, and Anna's father was going to kick her out. Prudence thinks that an expelled demon will look like a pool of pea soup, the size of a welcome mat, and it will move around the room like a ball, trying to swallow itself into people. Her father, pastor Yancey Boyd, doesn't believe in or talk about demons, except that he doesn't believe in them. The discussion is over.

"The devil painted Ryan Kate purple all over," Grace said.

"Is it all over?" Prudence asked, "Even his private parts?"

"That's how they found him," Grace said. She was six years old. "When the paint dried, he cried because it hurts to pee."

The girls stood in front of the mirror in the spare room of Mobley's house. It was the afternoon of 1 1 month/Sunday, and there was a Halloween party for children in the First United Methodist Church that night. Pastor Yancy Boyd might become the new pastor there. Prudence is busy cutting Grace's head in an old brown sheet. Everyone had to dress up as a character in the Bible, so she turned Grace into John the Baptist on a plate.

"There is no devil in the world," Prudence said, just because she was not the first person to hear the story. She hacked at the sheets with scissors, and the blade was as blunt as a butter knife. When she drilled a hole, she threw the sheets on Grace's head.

Ryan Kate's family are missionaries. Because of the devil, they came back from Africa early, and they lived in the basement of the church until they found a house. They can cook on a hot plate and take a sponge bath. Prudence thinks that if anyone should camp in the basement of the church, it is her own family, because her father may be a priest. He was ordained as a priest in three states. At Moberlys' house, the girls were trapped in a dark and humid room, which smelled like engine oil. Before the Mobley couple redecorated their grown-up daughter, it used to be a garage. Prudence had seen centipedes twice, once wriggling in the cracks between concrete blocks and once behind the statue of Jesus at the bedside.

"Ryan likes to stay in a dark room," Grace said, sticking her head out of the hole in the sheet. "He doesn't talk to anyone except his mother."

"Well, maybe he has nothing to say," said Prudence, frowning at her. Grace still looks like herself, but now she is wearing brown sheets and her blonde hair is sticking out of her braids, which is nothing like John the Baptist.

In the picture by the bed, Jesus is wearing a robe with big sleeves and tied with a rope. Prudence needs something to tie around Grace's waist. She rummaged through the carton containing odds and ends provided by Mrs. moberly. At home in North Carolina, their mother put old towels and curtains in a box, and a curtain rope can do this. But at home, they don't dress like biblical characters to go to parties; On the contrary, they may have gone trick-or-treating the night before. They may wear last year's clothes instead-Prudence is like a floor lamp and Grace is like a blue crayon-because their mother is unable to make new clothes. In East Winder, Kentucky, no one wants to trick or treat, because Halloween is a pagan festival.

"Ryan's father thinks he has a demon, and his mother is not sure," Grace said. "They took him to see a doctor, but the doctor could do nothing about the devil. Anna saw a demon-possessed man swallow a sword in Tennessee. She saw another devil break a man in half, and her father tried to drive him away. "

Prudence insisted that she was not interested. She said, "Really?" "Well," she took out a scarf, tied it around Grace's waist, let its ends hang down, then pulled it up and stuffed it into the sheet. She rested her hands on her hips and stepped back to look. "Not bad," she said. "We will draw you a beard with eyeliner, but you must have a knife or a hatchet or something to make it look real. There is also a platter. "

Mrs moberly stood barefoot in front of the kitchen sink, peeling apples to make pies. Her feet were swollen and she kissed with linoleum. It seems that she has cleaned her baby's toenails. Prudence's mother is still sleeping in moberly's bedroom upstairs. She always tells Prudence to put on her shoes. If anyone wants to see her barefoot, they will ask.

"How is the costume ready?" Mrs moberly asked with a bite of the apple peel. She wore a blue-and-white plaid apron and used the same material to cover toasters, coffee machines and other gadgets that Prudence couldn't see.

"Very well," said Prudence. "Can we borrow a meat cleaver?"

"Meat cleaver?" Mrs moberly's hand stopped, and the knife stopped on an apple that had been peeled and pitted. It looks cold and naked. "Which biblical figure used a meat cleaver?"

"It's a secret," said Prudence before Grace could speak.

"The meat cleaver in the church? I don't think so, "said Mrs moberly. "Someone may get hurt. How about another idea? How about you being a shepherd? Mr moberly has an old walking stick somewhere. Or Mary? Mary never uses a meat cleaver. "

"Nobody uses it," said Prudence.

"The meat cleaver is very sharp," said Mrs. moberly. "The meat cleaver is not a toy. I don't think your mother will be happy if I allow you to go to church with a meat cleaver. She doesn't feel very well now. " Mrs moberly cut the apple into eight parts with four clever strokes. "Your father told me that she likes apple pie."

"She feels fine," said Prudence. "She's just tired."

Mrs. moberly looked at Prudence and smiled, just like adults sometimes smile at Prudence. She gritted her teeth patiently and curled her lips back. Then Mrs moberly smiled at Grace, and Grace looked at her feet. "Grace, what are you wearing?" Mrs moberly said. "Let me guess. You are Mary Magdalene, or Ruth. "

Grace shook her head.

"Esther?"

"A man," said Grace.

"Moses?"

"This is a surprise," added Prudence. "How about some tin foil? We can save it, and you can use it to cover something. "

"I can do tin foil," said Mrs moberly, and handed her the box. "Listen, girls," she said, laughing again. "So far, what do you think of your visit? Think you might like living here? "

"We won't live here," said Prudence. "We will have a priest's house that feels like home."

"Well, yes," said Mrs. moberly. "That's what I mean. East Winder is a good city. I think living here will be of great benefit to your mother. "

Prudence stared at Mrs. moberly and raised her left eyebrow, which she taught herself. Mrs moberly's eyes don't seem to have any real color. Under one eye, Prudence could see a tiny blue blood vessel under Mrs. Mobley's skin, like a fading pen mark.

Mrs moberly winked at her and then turned to Grace. "What about you, dear? Don't you want to live here? "

Prudence answered Grace by pulling her to the kitchen door. "We don't care," she said in the most annoying voice.

I don't care what their mother thinks about moving. Her name is Joyce, and I don't care what she said to many things, usually at the end of a long tired sigh. Then, she telephoned her hopeless sister, Charles, and went to bed at noon, sometimes for several days. When Prudence went in to say good night to her, she was already asleep and smelled of wet books. Yancey said it had something to do with the baby who died before birth in August, but when Aunt Char came to stay for a week, she said no. She said it was a reenactment of Joyce in college, or it was just that Joyce finally woke up and separated, which he should have expected. Yancey said what that meant, and Aunt Char said it was nothing, nothing at all. Joyce had made the bed. Joyce once proudly testified that her family in Greenville thought she was crazy about loving the Lord. She was brought up as a Methodist who went to church twice a year, not an evangelist. Yancy's preaching saved her before they got married, and Prudence could see that Aunt Charles didn't like the fact at all. )

Prudence went back to the empty room and emptied the odds and ends out of the carton. She cut the box at the crease, drew the top of Torres' head in the center of a long side, cut out the circle, and finally taped it to tin foil. Then she put the whole plate on Grace's head and tied a part of the plate into the hole in her neck to keep it stable.

Grace squinted at herself in the mirror.

"Comb your head like this," Prudence said. She tilted her head to one side and her eyelids fluttered. "Try to look like you've just had your head cut off."

Grace stuck out her tongue and said, "Oh." Her head drooped to one side. Then she put her head out of the plate and began to cut a long, curved knife that Prudence had drawn on another piece of cardboard. "They tried to send Ryan Kate to an ordinary school last week," Grace said. "He is in the first grade with ana kim."

"Well," said Prudence. She looked into Mobley's closet, where she had found her own clothes. Behind the coat and jacket and moberly's old clothes, there are several leotards with clothes pegs on the hangers, and a pink ballet skirt. The tulle becomes flat and soft like a newspaper, which was worn by their daughter when she was learning ballet. In a box under the pink skirt, Prudence found a shiny halter top with tights and a thin dress with a store label on it.

Now Prudence took out the suit and put it on the bed. The halter is red, with long sleeves and a small round mirror sewn on it, as well as yellow embroidery. There are silky yellow tassels on the neck and sleeves. At the bottom edge, just where her navel is exposed, the tassels end with small wooden beads and tap each other gently.

"In the restaurant, he stood by the trash can and ate all the bread pudding and creamy spinach that no one wanted. He cried when the teacher caught him and told him to stop. Then he threw up, then he lost his temper and they took him away from school. " Grace stopped cutting, her scissors were deeply stuck in cardboard, and her eyes were fixed on the dress. "Oh, oh. Who are you? "

Salome,' said Prudence. "The man who wanted your head."

Prudence took off her trousers and put on tights and skirts. She did an exercise of kicking her leg sideways, and the light material floated into the air with her leg, and then floated down again. It is transparent. In the photo that Prudence saw in a book in her father's study, Salome was a dark-skinned, smiling, barefoot girl with her hair combed back and wearing a suit very similar to this one. Before her father found her watching, her arms were above her head and her body was shaking, which was a perfect gentle version of Prudence in the TV dance program.

No wonder the king wants to give Salome anything she wants. Prudence also has curly black hair-almost black-and now she wears it in a ponytail so tightly that her eyes are slanting. She twisted her hips and made a small circle, then waved her arms, first in front of her, then at her sides, and finally at her head.

"Does Mrs. moberly know that you are wearing that?" Grace said.

"Mrs moberly is a pain in the ass."

"I want to be a dancer."

"If your head is cut off, you can't dance."

"You shouldn't even dance," Grace said. It's true, even though pastor Yancy Boyd said it wasn't dancing itself, but dancing.

"It's different," said Prudence. "It's fake."

Grace rolled tin foil around the blade of a cardboard knife and began to paint the handle black with a marker. "Once the devil enters, your behavior will be different," she said. "When you were cut and bleeding, they came in. Anna is not allowed to get her ears pierced. In Africa, Ryan crossed the road with his family's women. They were hit by a heretic on a truck. They were holding hands. She died and he broke his arm. The bone came out of his skin, and that's when it happened. The demons sneak in as much as possible, and someone must get them out so that you can go back to the way you were. Anna's father will drive away the demons from Ryan tonight. It's a secret because it's not that kind of church, but Anna's father says it should be. "

Prudence's shirt is covered with a bridle, and she is stuffing the dirty undershirt that Grace wore the day before into her chest. "Don't say that again," she said. "They have to guess who we are at the party, so I'll go dancing first, and then I'll stop and say," Cut off John the Baptist's head and shout in the wilderness. He ate locusts and honey and gave it to me in a silver plate. "Then you come up and stand next to me."

"What did I say?"

"You don't say anything. We'll put the knife on the plate and use ketchup to stop the bleeding, and you just go, "Prudence staggered on the bed. "You may collapse, maybe, or just follow me. Wait and see. Others will be Mary, Joseph, Noah or some other stupid thing. "

"When the baby is born, the devil may have entered the mother's body," Grace said.

Prudence stopped wobbling. "No," she said. "She's just too tired. She just needs to rest. " Prudence watched Grace until Grace nodded. Then Prudence pulled up her shirt to see what the vest looked like around her stomach.

"Ryan has a shocking demon," Grace said.

Prudence sucked into her stomach until it looked empty. Sexy. She turned her back to the mirror and looked back over her shoulder.

"Mom may be exhausted," Grace said.

Prudence kept sucking her stomach until it hurt. "Stop talking," she said through gritting her teeth. "This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

Pastor Yancy Boyd's eyes are very bright, almost not blue at all, and his curly hair is close to his head. He sounds wise when he speaks. Aunt Charles said Joyce married him because he looked like paul newman and because he was sincere, although she said it was no excuse. Prudence is used to women crying around him, so it is not surprising that Mrs. Mobley began to share their daughter's heartache at dinner.

Belinda Moberly grew up and went to college. Mr. Moberly began to say (Mrs. Moberly said it was a good evangelical university). Under the influence of a philosophy professor, Mr. Moberly said (Mrs. Moberly said that he was later fired), she first became a monotheist and then an atheist. She leads a sinful life outside marriage, carrying a lighter.

"We tried our best," said Mrs. moberly. "I don't know what else we can do."

A low stained glass chandelier hung above the table, which was made by Mrs. Mobley in class. It projected a circle of small yellow crosses around the wooden dining room wall.

"She has a good foundation," Reverend Yancy Boyd said to Mrs. Mobley and patted her hand. Clapping hands is usually Joyce's specialty. She is in charge of comfort, while Yancey speaks. It's not a good idea for him to touch too many women. He is so handsome. "When children are raised in the Lord, he will mark their lives. Children-"Yancy put her hand on Grace's blonde hair-"have their own open attitude towards God. They may grow up and try other ways, but something inside them is always clearer. I believe your daughter has a great advantage. "

Reverend Yancy Boyd sounds encouraging, but he looks sad. Before dinner, Prudence found him sitting on the bed next to Joyce, trying to make her eat cookies in the tray prepared by Mrs. Mobley. Prudence couldn't see her mother's face, but she could hear her whispering that she shouldn't have come, and Prudence saw the curly hair she had combed for the trip the day before flatten out on her head.

"I don't understand," Mr moberly said of his daughter. He is a plumber with wide shoulders. Prudence doesn't know how he can crawl under any sink. He cut a biscuit in half and buttered it. After eating, he put the whole biscuit bottom in his mouth.

"I told her that we wanted her to be happy," Mrs. moberly said. "She told me that happiness was overrated. She said that she was as happy as possible and lived with herself. I asked her, but did you know that Jesus was the personal savior, Belinda? That was real happiness-you know, pastor-and she told me that if she could, she would believe it, but she couldn't. I don't know what to do with her. " Mrs. Mobley's hands trembled when she stopped to drink water. "I don't think we got a promise. We will always understand, won't we, Reverend?"

Pastor Yancy Boyd's smile made him look even sadder. "No," he said, "we are not."

Grace ate a little food. She has nervous hiccups, which don't sound like normal hiccups at all, but like a slight cough when breathing. She chews in her mouth, which is something she shouldn't do. Once she makes herself bleed. Prudence nudged Grace, and Grace stopped.

That night, when they arrived at the church parking lot, it was dark and cold. The leaves smell like autumn has turned into winter. Prudence hid the plate in front of Grace's long pink coat like a shield. She also hid the Burger King eyeliner, lipstick and ketchup in her coat pocket. She put on pants over her tights and rolled up a tulle skirt, because she thought Mrs. moberly might recognize them before it was their turn.

"Where do the Kate family live?" Prudence asked as they walked through the parking lot to the back door.

"who?" Mrs moberly asked.

"The boy possessed by the devil," Grace said, stomping the concrete steps to the door.

"What?" Mrs moberly said. She switched the Tupperware container with biscuits to the other hand and opened the door of the church. Inside, she squatted beside Grace and stared at her face. "What devil?"

"Never mind," said Prudence. "Kate sleep on what? Do they have beds or just nap mats? Do they have sofas, chairs and televisions, or do they only have Sunday school furniture? "

"I don't know," said Mrs moberly. "I haven't seen it. This is their home, you know, now, until they find a house. You can't barge into people's homes without saying hello, even if they do live in a church. "

"I won't rush in," said Prudence.

"You will have a good time at the party," said Mrs. moberly, leading them down the basement steps. "Think of all the new friends you will make here." Mrs. Mobley spoke with a loud voice and smiled vigorously, and her chin muscles bulged.

They walked through a wide, dark hall and went to the social room in the distance. An open door was full of light and a soft voice came out. Three narrow halls branch on both sides of this wide hall. At these dark openings, the air becomes cool and quiet. Prudence fell behind and slipped down the last hall in front of the mixer. She tried two doors, but both were locked. She peeped out through the narrow window on the doorknob, but it was too dark to see anything.

Mrs moberly's silhouette appeared at the entrance of the hall. "Have we lost you?"

"No," said Prudence.

The social room is crowded with young people and parents. A girl wearing a dim white sheep's head cover with ears, her straight hair stuck out stiffly to cover her face, went straight to Grace and hugged her.

"Hi, Anna," said Grace.