Time is a humorous sentence (a humorous classic sentence)

1. Time is a butcher's knife, but you are too ugly to do it.

Second, bow your head when you should. You have no crown on your head.

One day you will meet the person you really like and his other half.

No one can make you give up your dream. Just try it yourself and give up.

5. Can money buy happiness? No, money itself is happiness!

6. The ugly duckling becomes a white swan, not only because it works hard, but also because its parents are white swans.

Seven, when I was a child, I compared my grades and when I grew up, I compared my salary. Now you have to compare your steps when you walk. Give me a break. I just want to be a garbage that won't compete with the rest of the world, but it wasn't until I really made garbage that I found that even garbage should be classified.

Me: Dad, why is our family so poor? Father: I just want you to take charge early.

Nine, the two couples got married soon and gave birth to a child. The wife who gave birth to a child was in great pain and slapped her husband: she only knew the pleasure, but she didn't know that giving birth would hurt. So they sleep in different beds. A few months later, when her husband was sleeping, she heard someone knocking at the door and asked, "Who is it?" My wife shouted, "Here comes the daredevil."

10. Good people have to go through 81 difficulties to become Buddhas, and bad people just need to put down their butcher knives.

Eleven, unreliable is not feelings, but people! The more broken the car, the more spare tires! Forget the sour taste of love, you just need to remember the smell of money.

12. My dad drank too much at night and was helped home by several uncles. He put my father on the sofa, and I gave him a ride when my uncles left. After the delivery, just after I came back and closed the door, my father gave me a big slap in the face: coming back so late!

Thirteen, a man's greatest pride is not how many women he has slept with, but that there is a woman who is willing to let you sleep for a lifetime!

Fourteen, why do some boys suddenly ignore you when they are squatting? Cast a net in a large area and fish selectively, and you will be released.

Fifteen, on a snowy day, a reporter interviewed in the street: "Aunt, what do you think the snowstorm has brought to your life?" Aunt: "The impact is too great! First of all, you have to see clearly that I am your uncle! "

Mom: You should get married! Me: Is it necessary to be happy when you get married? I have a classmate who has been married three times. Why bother? Mom: If the marriage is bad, how many people can get married three times?

17. My friend asked me, will you just find someone to marry because you are old? Are you kidding? Can you look around and find it?

Getting rid of poverty is not as easy as losing your hair, but getting rich is far easier than getting rich. The reality is cruel, you have to live with temperature.

19. I have a headache. Is my knowledge too profound to overflow?

Twenty, it is said that you can't buy a big bed when you get married, and you will quarrel in the future. If the bed is too big, sleep separately. If the bed is small, it is easy to coax the wife. But I never imagined that I couldn't even get into bed after the quarrel!

Twenty-one, when others get on the bus to practice driving, the first sentence is "strike a light, step on the clutch, put in gear, loosen the clutch and go." And when I get on the bus and practice driving, the first sentence is usually to shout "get out of the way!" Make way! "

There is a beggar in a street, begging there every day. One day, someone suddenly found a bowl next to the beggar, but there was no one in it. Curious, someone came forward and asked him, "Why did you put two bowls?" The beggar smiled and said, "I don't know how to lose my business recently, so I opened a branch."

Twenty-three, the unit dinner, the leader rarely praised me in front of everyone, saying that thanks to my frequent lateness, I had the funds for this activity.

Don't wear a skirt when you go out recently, it's easy to be picked up, the weather is sunny and the wind is not strong.

Twenty-five, many people get up early to brush their teeth and have symptoms of nausea and retching. Scientific research has found that one common feature of such people is that they like to look in the mirror.

Twenty-six, I don't know how expensive the meal is, and I don't know how fat I am without taking pictures!

27. God is fair. Although he gave you a low value, he also gave you a high vision.