What skills do couples master when quarreling without hurting their feelings?

What skills do couples master when quarreling without hurting their feelings?

Couples are very concerned about what skills to master when quarreling so as not to hurt their feelings. Husband and wife have lived together for a long time, and it is inevitable that they will quarrel over some trivial matters, which will lead to emotional injury and discord between husband and wife. After reading this article, let you know what skills a couple can master when quarreling without hurting their feelings.

What skills do couples master if they quarrel without hurting their feelings 1 Many people think that the perfect marriage means not quarreling, but in fact it is just the opposite. Quarrel is a way to increase intimacy, but you must master its skills.

1, never spend the night quarreling.

It sounds a bit difficult to quarrel for the night, because when quarreling is angry, no one is willing to compromise, so there is no need to quarrel, and it will end in the cold war. But the longer the contradiction stays, the easier it is for the psychology to deteriorate. It will be more difficult to control what the mood of both sides will become tomorrow. It is also possible that you come to your senses, but the other person is in a dead end.

2. Don't dig up old scores.

The problem of the day will be solved on the same day, so there will be no problem of turning over old accounts. But there are always some people who like to bring up the past when quarreling, which will not only solve the problem, but also aggravate the quarrel and even get out of hand. In fact, since many things were solved at that time, they are all in the past tense, and it is not good for both sides to translate them.

3. Avoid blaming each other.

When a husband and wife quarrel, they like to blame each other for right and wrong, and only want the other party to admit their mistakes before giving up. What's the point? There is no right or wrong between husband and wife, because the quarrel is not caused by one person, and both sides are responsible. It's best for both sides to find out their mistakes and admit that they will change, so that more than half of their anger will disappear.

4. Quarrel can also be a ghost horse

When the quarrel gets worse, we might as well take some measures to ease the atmosphere. Try to be coquettish, make faces and tell each other cold jokes. When both of them laughed, they naturally made up.

Step 5 accept each other

Husband and wife are two different people and have different ways of thinking and doing things. So when we disagree, don't just follow our own ideas, but try to listen to each other's views. The biggest fear of quarreling is trying to make the other side accept their own views. Right or wrong is not the most important thing at this time, but more like a war of control and existence.

6. Some words can't be said

Many people will speak freely when arguing, and some ugly words will blurt out. In fact, saying these things will not make you happy, but will turn the quarrel into Bengali. Especially if you are divorced or can't go on, don't say it easily, otherwise even if you don't get divorced at that time, it will have a psychological shadow on the other party.

Summary: Many people think that the perfect marriage is not quarreling, but the fact is just the opposite. Quarrel is a way to increase intimacy, but you must master its skills.

What skills do couples master when quarreling without hurting their feelings? 2. a commandment: quarrel in front of outsiders

Couples will inevitably bump into each other, but be careful not to quarrel in public. Some problems will only add fuel to the fire if they are quarreled in front of everyone. Quarrel in front of everyone, both sides should be proud and not to be outdone, which often leads to the final situation is difficult to clean up. Therefore, a good couple should remember: in front of friends and family, they should leave enough face for the people they love. Your attitude towards your lover determines the degree of respect others have for TA. If you don't care about TA, others will look down on TA.

Two commandments: quarrel when the other side is weak

Quarrel also has certain timeliness. If the other person is sick, depressed, or in the adversity of unsatisfactory work, quarreling with TA and criticizing him will only deepen the contradiction between husband and wife. When the other party is in a fragile stage, please let go of all your anger and take good care of and understand TA.

Three commandments: divorce lightly

It is not easy for two people to get together to form a family. Don't say the word "divorce" easily. Especially when arguing about divorce, because of impulse, it is inevitable to make the wrong choice and let yourself regret it for life. "Divorce" is a very sensitive word. It is dangerous to mention these words rashly, and it is easy to tear the emotional bond between husband and wife and intensify family conflicts. Husband and wife are no longer two people's business, but a whole. Don't give up easily.

Under the temptation: when quarreling, I hurt my parents and family.

When a husband and wife quarrel, don't hurt each other's parents and family. Quarrel can't insult each other, let alone insult each other's family, which is absolutely forbidden. Take care of each other and respect each other's families. If you really treat TA's relatives, TA will sincerely thank you and love you more. It is common for couples to quarrel, but don't be too serious and don't let your parents know. Communicate more and understand more, the days are still long, and think more about each other's good when you are angry.

Five precepts: turn over old accounts with each other

Some couples like to turn over each other's old scores when quarreling, which is also the stupidest behavior of couples quarreling. For example, the mistakes made by the other party before, or the former lover of the other party, will increase the intensity of the quarrel and lead to deeper and deeper contradictions. A yard is a yard. You can't shake off all the old sesame seeds and rotten millet in a quarrel. It was a trivial matter, and the more it made, the more complicated it became. So, let the past be history and let it go with the wind.

Six commandments: throw things when quarreling.

Don't throw things about when quarreling. The quarrel is already loud, plus the sound of breaking utensils. This is too dramatic, it will alarm the neighbors and scare the children. What's more, it's all your own money. You must clean up the mess yourself. Be polite when quarreling. I couldn't help falling on the pillow. Don't let two loving hearts break with the harsh crash.

Seven commandments: say things that hurt each other

Many people often speak carelessly when quarreling and often compare their wives and husbands with others. "You see somebody else's husband more capable. What about you? What a waste! " "You see how virtuous your wife is, she can't do anything!" ..... these words will only destroy each other's self-confidence. Really love each other and refuse to hurt each other!

Bajie: Threaten with death.

Some couples always say "death" when they quarrel. "What's the point of my living?" "I don't want to live!" "I will die for you!" ..... This is stupid, don't say such irritating words to hurt the feelings of two people.

Nine commandments: hit people with your hands

When quarreling, you must control your hands, even if you are angry, you must have at least control. A slap in the face may ruin years of feelings and bring pain to both sides. You touched the meat with your hand, but it hurt your heart. A wound in the flesh is easy to cure, but a crack in the heart is hard to mend. No matter how angry you are, remember: impulse is the devil!

Ten commandments: quarrel in front of children

When quarreling, you must avoid the children. The quarrel between husband and wife is a matter of two people, and the child is innocent. Letting children see their parents quarreling will leave a shadow in their young minds, but even when they grow up, it will affect their attitude towards marriage. The relationship between parents is a place where children feel safe, which is irreplaceable by any material life. If children don't enjoy the atmosphere and feeling of love at home, parents' behavior will hurt the next generation unconsciously.

It goes without saying that everything between husband and wife should be careful, but every wrong sentence will cause a small crack. It doesn't matter once or twice, it will be difficult to repair after a long time. Many marriages are conducted at the language level. Only by replacing those "sad words" with "sweet words" can we maintain a happy marriage forever.

1. Advise her husband to strive for promotion, salary increase or job-hopping.

"Zhou Xiao's husband paid his salary twice, so you should learn to take the initiative to ask the boss." "This position should be yours, and tell your leader." "Don't work in this broken unit, what's the future?"

Although it makes sense to say that "one wife is more expensive", talking about her husband's position and salary every day can only show that this wife is too demanding. Now is the era of equality between men and women, but many women still think that men should be the economic pillar of the family, which will bring great pressure to their husbands. When the husband is faced with a key promotion, don't give him pressure, but encourage him with the words "It's not easy for you to get here today, I'm very satisfied", which not only maintains the relationship between husband and wife, but also gives him confidence in fighting for the family.

2. Criticize your mother-in-law, or constantly compare yourself with it.

"How can your mother be like this?" "How old are you? Does your mother still care about you? " "Who do you love more, your mother or me?"

Don't criticize her in front of his mother. Many men don't talk about it, but they actually take "mom" very seriously. The reason why many men divorce voluntarily is that their wives don't respect their mother-in-law. Women should not always compare themselves with their mother-in-law. It's hard for men to get caught in the middle. After all, the status of "mother" is irreplaceable. Try to show your husband that you are trying to build a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so that he will appreciate you no matter what the outcome is.

3. "We need to talk"

"You never listen to me", "Can't you just hear me out", "We have to sit down and talk about the baby"

Research shows that men speak an average of 2000 words a day, while women speak 7000 words. When a man finishes writing 2,000 words at work, he often doesn't want to say more when he goes home, while the extra 5,000 words of a woman are still "nowhere to be found". Usually, women pose as "needing to talk", in fact, they don't want to "talk on an equal footing" but want to "educate" men. A woman should always pay attention to her attitude. When she needs to talk, she might as well say "This is really important to me, I hope you can understand" to her husband, so as to create an equal conversation relationship.

4. Mock her husband's tastes, dietary preferences or living habits.

"Why do you go out dressed like this?" "Stop eating XX, it's so dirty." "Who learned this bad habit?"

Although many men are not as particular about food and clothing as women, if their wives often criticize them, they will still resent it. Especially don't openly talk about his eating habits or bad habits. What he confides in you is not to let you "tell" your neighbors and friends. A face-saving man is most afraid that his wife often mentions his "secrets" in front of friends, especially his bad habits.

5. Look at others. "

"You see that he is younger than you, and now he is at the department level." "You see that he is young, and her husband Wang bought him a new car." "You see how well XX (ex-boyfriend) is getting along now."

Don't praise another person by comparing his shortcomings, he will feel looked down upon and laughed at. Men are usually insecure about the same sex. If you compare the advantages of other men with him, it may upset him. Therefore, compare your husband with other men as little as possible. Of course, if you can find his advantages, you might as well praise him by comparison.

6. Husband's phone calls and text messages are strictly monitored.

"Why does XX always call you?" "She can't call others, she has to call you." "Who sent that message just now?"

Many women check their husbands' mobile phones, usually because they see some signs, but too much running and monitoring will give men a feeling of suffocation, which will push him out. If suspicion is made out of nothing, it will have a serious impact on the relationship between husband and wife. Don't always talk about your doubts, just know what you know, and smart women will handle things quietly.

7. My husband is cynical when he sees beautiful women.

"Look at what you see, your eyes are straight" and "I think she is more beautiful than me, so let her go."

Every man likes beautiful women, whether he admits it or not. If he looks at you twice, you will be sarcastic, which is not only rude, but also unconfident. Smart women will take the initiative to point to beautiful women in the street and ask their husbands: Is it beautiful? Talk to him like a buddy, but don't ask "who is more beautiful, me or her".

8. regret.

"If you weren't so persistent, I wouldn't have married you." "What I regret most is marrying you." "There are so many people, why should I choose you?"

These words are the most "lethal", and many divorces are also triggered by such words. Even if it is a trivial quarrel, saying such a thing will make it impossible for both sides to end. Even if they make up, rational men will convince themselves to love you less because there is no guarantee.

9. Ask your husband about his private money.

"Did you save the money yourself?" And "where did you spend all your money?"

Men not only need private money to consume alcohol and tobacco, but also need enough activity funds to meet daily entertainment. If the wife repeatedly asks her husband about his financial situation, it will not only show distrust, but also make them feel that "this little thing can't be decided by themselves." A smart wife should "keep her mouth shut and know what she is doing" and always remind her husband to "bring enough money when going out for entertainment" so that men can feel "financial freedom" and face.

10 Do you love me or not?

"Don't you love me?" And "you don't care about my feelings now."

Men are peacocks, and when they are in love, they will change their ways to please women; Married, successfully put away the tail. Passion or love, no matter how beautiful these things are, can't replace rice bowls, dignity and money. Most men have the concept of struggling to keep a house, but they lack the patience to continue to make women happy. So, don't always force him to make a verbal commitment. If he is willing to fight for his family, it is more important than saying 10 thousand "I love you"