Please give me the lines for Zhao Benshan’s sketch "I Want to Have a Family"

Director: No. 1, No. 1, you are too nervous. Is this okay?

Zhao Benshan: Hey, it’s the director. I’ll go down and practice after this.

Director : Do you still want to find a partner?

Zhao Benshan: I... I want to find a partner. I can’t find a partner. Isn’t it over?

Director: Go down and practice as soon as possible

Zhao Benshan: Hey

Director: Can you invite No. 2 in?

Zhao Benshan: Okay

Zhao Benshan: No. 2 No. 2, the director invites you

Huang Xiaojuan: Hey

Zhao Benshan: Why are you so stupid? I'm such a bastard. I won't listen to you when I get serious. Oh my god...

Zhao Benshan: Everyone is laughing. Hehe, as we get older, the marriage market is weakening. It’s not a shame to go on TV and make a marriage advertisement, right? Water is destined, and trees have roots. , there is a reason to go to TV to propose marriage. Having no money in your pocket means longing for cash. The feeling of not having a home is the hot water. After being single for so many years, who doesn’t look forward to getting married? Who are you laughing at! !

Zhao Benshan: As long as we can find a suitable place, we are willing to go to any lengths

Director: Come down quickly on the 2nd and practice again

Zhao Benshan: Hey , practice is over

Huang Xiaojuan: The director said I couldn’t do it, why do you think I couldn’t record it? I practiced well down there, but as soon as I sat down in front of the camera, I couldn’t speak.

Zhao Benshan: Look, we all have the same disease. The director said this is called blur, do you understand?

Huang Xiaojuan: Lens dizziness?

Zhao Benshan: You said that I suffered from motion sickness and seasickness in the past, but this time I got lens sickness.

Huang Xiaojuan: I didn’t get lens sickness. As soon as that light came on, I got sick. It feels like the world is spinning

Zhao Benshan: That’s a halo

Huang Xiaojuan: Why is it so difficult to get married on TV?

Zhao Benshan: Isn’t it difficult? Well, I have recorded more than 30 times and failed

Huang Xiaojuan: I don’t want to record anymore, I want to go back

Zhao Benshan: If you go back to another place when you encounter difficulties, how can you do that? , is not! Difficulties are like springs. If you are weak, they will be strong. In order to realize the beautiful wish of having a family, you have to overcome difficulties, and you have to overcome difficulties when there are no difficulties.

Huang Xiaojuan: This is difficult enough

Zhao Benshan: Don’t go back to this place, okay?

Huang Xiaojuan: I didn’t want to come in the first place

Zhao Benshan: It’s useless to say anything. Haven’t we been numbered? No. 1 and No. 2. Once you come, let’s live in peace. , yes, please sit down

Huang Xiaojuan: Me

Zhao Benshan: Come on, I’m done already, there’s nothing to be difficult about, what’s so difficult about it? Come here and let me practice it for you. See what's so special. Sit down and look at me. The key is to relax... and smile... Hehe... My name is Zhao Yingjun, male. , is thirty-five years old this year

Huang Xiaojuan: Does this man still need to talk?

Zhao Benshan: Oh, this is a TV marriage proposal, men and women can see it

Huang Xiaojuan: Yes

Zhao Benshan: This is a very pointed question

Huang Xiaojuan: Nonsense

Zhao Benshan: Haha, the director didn’t even notice, your daughter Stop talking too

Huang Xiaojuan: I’m such a useless girl

Zhao Benshan: Ah! ....My name is Zhao Yingjun, I am thirty-five years old. Brackets: There is a discrepancy between my actual age and my appearance. It’s not a big problem if you don’t look carefully. This is superficial aging

Huang Xiaojuan: I still need to add brackets

Zhao Benshan: I must mention, I am thirty-five and others always doubt me when I am fifty-three, so I should pay more!

Huang Xiaojuan: That has to be bracketed

Zhao Benshan: The current house is 7.8 square meters, the deposit is 1,560 yuan, the bracket is: let the ex-wife abduct He ran away, so I am looking for someone who is hard-working, simple, patriotic, and loves his family. He can’t just go here and there every other day without even seeing anyone, and no one will cook for him...this! ! !

Huang Xiaojuan: What's wrong with you

Zhao Benshan: Don't interrupt, I feel like I've found you

Zhao Benshan: I must be looking for someone, someone within thirty miles. , is single, preferably unmarried, and will get married to me soon. Oh my god, I feel like I found you.

Zhao Benshan: How are you?

Huang Xiaojuan: Look at you You've practiced so well. Compared with you, I'm far behind

Zhao Benshan: Don't worry, I can record now. I'll help you and I'll be your director

Huang Xiaojuan: You will be a director

Zhao Benshan: He... He saves trouble than us. As soon as he is started, don't be nervous and use your forehead as the camera. Sit down and I will direct it for you

This time I am qualified, I will prompt...Yes, look at the camera

Huang Xiaojuan: Me

Zhao Benshan: What are you, the camera... Speak

Huang Xiaojuan: What I said is in vain

Zhao Benshan: You haven’t said anything yet

Huang Xiaojuan:...No one will apply

Zhao Benshan: I closed the door myself

Huang Xiaojuan: My conditions are not good

Zhao Benshan: Find a general place

Huang Xiaojuan: I am not single

Zhao Benshan: No...no...not single. What are you talking about? You are too brave, let me tell you. This is illegal. Let me tell you the truth, if you two can't get through it, or whatever, you can only come here to propose marriage after everything is done.

Huang Xiaojuan: No

Zhao Benshan: I can’t guide you in this situation. If you guide me again, you will guide me in

Huang Xiaojuan: Oh, look at you Where did you go? You misunderstood

Zhao Benshan: What’s the matter with you

Huang Xiaojuan: I...I really can’t tell you

Zhao Benshan : You are in trouble, come back, I have a trick, I will stimulate you for a while, (haha... stimulate you,, haha, I will be stimulated first) Let me listen to music nowadays, music As soon as it comes out, there are designated words, look at the lens, the quality of the lens is not very good, prepare

Zhao Benshan: Start

Huang Xiaojuan: My name is Li Huixian, I am 35 years old this year, due to the misfortune in life My eight-year-old son and I live with my mother-in-law. The child has never seen his father, but his father... It should be said that I have a family. I didn’t want to come. I am planning to get married, but my mother-in-law always advises me to take one more step. Don’t condescend to yourself too much. To be honest, I really hope someone can help me and talk to me thoughtfully. This is a complete family.

Zhao Benshan: It’s over. Let me guide you. Crying

Zhao Benshan: Crying

Huang Xiaojuan: Ah, no

Zhao Benshan: Life is like a cup of Erguotou, sweet, bitter, spicy, don’t worry, swallow it down, life How can it be so smooth? Brother, I am not better than you. I have been stimulated, strongly stimulated

Huang Xiaojuan: Ah, you

Zhao Benshan: I have been divorced

Huang Xiaojuan: Divorced?

Zhao Benshan: If you speak Mandarin, people will kick you

Huang Xiaojuan: Why?

Zhao Benshan: The two of us have lived together for less than two years, and suddenly we I raised a very serious and principled question, which is really difficult for me to accept

Huang Xiaojuan: What is the question?

Zhao Benshan: Saying that I lack manliness makes me think more and more. She looks more like an old lady! Like? What's the point of resemblance? This shows that I look extraordinary and refined, which fully proves that statement

Huang Xiaojuan: What are you talking about

Zhao Benshan: Men are usually women

Huang Xiaojuan: So, you two are doing this just for this reason

Zhao Benshan: This is all a choice. In the end, she wants to go abroad

Huang Xiaojuan: Where to go?

Zhao Benshan: United States, California...

Huang Xiaojuan: California

Zhao Benshan: Yes, I can’t stay at home, but she can stay at home if she can I won’t go

Huang Xiaojuan: Then don’t be too sad. If you look at the stall like this, it means that if you have a home, it is no longer a home. This family is not about rich or poor, the key is that the two people have the same goals

Zhao Benshan: They have the same hobbies

Huang Xiaojuan: Wait for the *** Same language

Zhao Benshan: If you have anything to eat, let’s chat together

Huang Xiaojuan: Yes, the two of us are caring

Zhao Benshan: Huh? Why did you persuade me? Don't cry anymore.

Huang Xiaojuan: Are you not angry anymore?

Zhao Benshan: That's great. Hey, where did you practice just now? Oh, yes, what kind of one do you want? Sit down

Huang Xiaojuan: With my conditions, what else can I find?

Zhao Benshan: You tell me

Huang Xiaojuan: I will find one, and I have experienced ups and downs. Someone who is in good health, has a cheerful personality, is kind-hearted, is willing to work with me to support the elderly, and has some special skills. Is it okay if I say this?

Zhao Benshan: Ah

Director: No. 1

Huang Xiaojuan: The director is calling you

Director: Prepare to record

Zhao Benshan: Director

Huang Xiaojuan: Go quickly

Zhao Benshan: Director, I can’t do it. Where is the director? I’ll practice for another 5 minutes, okay? .

Zhao Benshan: I won’t go

Huang Xiaojuan: How well you practiced

Zhao Benshan: No,

Huang Xiaojuan: Go quickly Record it

Zhao Benshan: I am nothing compared to you. Can you help me? Why don't you become a director?

Zhao Benshan: Please help me, why don't you become a director?

Huang Xiaojuan: Oh, how can I be a director?

Zhao Benshan: It’s okay, just call ready. Don’t be nervous, use your forehead as the camera, come on, let me be the director

Huang Xiaojuan: How about I give you a prompt

Zhao Benshan: OK, thank you, please sit down

Zhao Benshan: I’ll leave the words here

Huang Xiaojuan: You can sit down too

Zhao Benshan: Ah

Huang Xiaojuan: Sit down

Zhao Benshan: Ah

Huang Xiaojuan: Sit down

Huang Xiaojuan: Sit down

Huang Xiaojuan: Don't be nervous, don't be nervous, don't be nervous

Zhao Benshan: I'm not nervous

Huang Xiaojuan: Pay attention, prepare...

Zhao Benshan : Start

Huang Xiaojuan: Huh? Why did you shout?

Zhao Benshan: Your tone was too long

Huang Xiaojuan: Oh, it’s my fault, try again

Huang Xiaojuan: oops! Why are you sweating?

Zhao Benshan: Really

Huang Xiaojuan: Wipe the sweat, wipe the sweat

Zhao Benshan: Yes

Huang Xiaojuan: Pay attention, this Don't be nervous

Huang Xiaojuan: Don't be nervous

Huang Xiaojuan: Pay attention, don't be nervous

Huang Xiaojuan: Get ready...start

Zhao Benshan: My name is not nervous

Zhao Benshan: Oh my god! Why are you nervous again? You are more nervous than the real director

Huang Xiaojuan: Then go on.

Zhao Benshan: Yes

Huang Xiaojuan: Go ahead. Don't be nervous

Zhao Benshan: The long-awaited moment has finally arrived. I seem to see a little flower through the lens, with a hairpin on my head

Huang Xiaojuan: Ah, where are you going? Are you looking?

Zhao Benshan: Are you looking at the camera?

Huang Xiaojuan: You are too nervous

Zhao Benshan: I am...too close to the camera

Huang Xiaojuan: Let’s go on.

Zhao Benshan: I am just like what you mentioned in “Looking for a Lover”, I have experienced ups and downs, I have a kind heart, I am healthy, and I have certain specialties. Please see this Certificate

Huang Xiaojuan: Sixth-level carpenter

Zhao Benshan: Equivalent to an intermediate intellectual

Zhao Benshan: I think... I want to find one, it can be hot Let’s put a pile of people together and talk about it, and say that it’s kind-hearted

Huang Xiaojuan: A single woman as a companion

Zhao Benshan: Don’t interrupt, I want to find someone with a kind heart. What a coincidence. If you have a child and can provide for the elderly, you can also refer to it if the organization needs it.

Zhao Benshan: Do you understand?

Huang Xiaojuan: I don’t understand

Zhao Benshan: Haven’t you said anything yet?

Huang Xiaojuan: If you have such good conditions, you should find someone younger

Zhao Benshan: No, I will find someone of the same age, both thirty-five. This is called a good match.

Huang Xiaojuan: You should find someone beautiful

Zhao Benshan: It’s useless. The one I used to have was quite beautiful, but didn’t it fall apart later?

Huang Xiaojuan: You I should find someone who is single

Zhao Benshan: I prefer to look for someone with children. Bracket: an eight-year-old boy is just right

Huang Xiaojuan: Having children is a burden

Zhao Benshan: Children are the communicators of emotions

Huang Xiaojuan: The key is not just having children

Zhao Benshan: It would be even better to have an old lady. Don’t you know, the old lady is the one I envy the most?

Huang Xiaojuan

: But

Zhao Benshan: But, if you don’t bring your husband, I will agree to any conditions

Huang Xiaojuan: You will regret it

Zhao Benshan: I How can I regret it? I don’t regret it. I want to have a family. I want to have a warm home.

Director: The video will be recorded on the 1st and 2nd.

Zhao Benshan: Are you still recording?

Huang Xiaojuan: What about you?

Zhao Benshan: I won’t record it. If I want to be on TV, I will definitely be photographed. Then I will be in trouble. Why don’t you record it?

Huang Xiaojuan: What do you think?

Zhao Benshan: If you feel immature, practice again

Huang Xiaojuan: Practice again

Zhao Benshan: Find a place with a good environment to practice where no one else is allowed to enter

Huang Xiaojuan: Still practicing

Zhao Benshan: Do you understand?

Music starts

Zhao Benshan (singing): I want to have a home, a place that does not need to be gorgeous. I will think of it when I am tired

Huang Xiaojuan (singing): I want to have a home , a place that doesn’t need to be big, I won’t be scared when I’m scared

Zhao Benshan (singing): Who doesn’t want a home, but there are people who don’t have it, with tears on their faces, just I envy him that he can wipe it gently by himself. I can go home after being injured, but I can only look for my home alone...