The complete lines of Jia Ling and Bai Kainan's sketch "Big Talk"

Part One? Opening

Jia Ling: Dear audience friends.

Bai Kainan: We give it to you

Stills of "Big Talk"

Stills of "Big Talk"

Bai Jia: Happy New Year Now!

Jia Ling: Here is a traditional cross talk called "On Ping Tiao"

Bai Kainan: Alas

Jia Ling: Performer Jia Ling , thank you (both of them bowed together)

Bai Kainan: Ouch

Jia Ling: This?

Bai Kainan: Why didn't you repay me?

Crosstalk "Big Talk"

Crosstalk "Big Talk"

Jia Ling: How old are you for me to hug you?

Bai Kainan: I mean you didn’t report me when you reported the actor’s name

Jia Ling: Why do you need to report someone who is so flattering?

Bai Kainan: We have a famous saying in the cross talk world

p>

Jia Ling: Huh?

Bai Kainan: 30% funny and 70% flattering, you are 30% funny and I am 70% flattering

Jia Ling: You Don’t forget that I am a red flower on the stage

Bai Kainan: Oh, I still have green leaves

Jia Ling: Let everyone take a look, ah, is this a green leaf? Isn’t this the whole thing? Rotten vegetable leaves? Still green

Bai Kainan: No, if I were rotten vegetable leaves, you would be popcorn

Jia Ling: How dare you, a flattering person, talk to us like this< /p>

Bai Kainan: No

Jia Ling: Let me tell you, I will still act with or without you

Bai Kainan: Hey, then you can act alone< /p>

Jia Ling: Really

Bai Kainan: Me

Jia Ling: Hey, what are you doing?

Bai Kainan: No, You're not

Jia Ling: I'm kidding you

Bai Kainan: Oh

Jia Ling: We have to continue acting

Bai Kainan: Still acting like this

Part 2? Qiong Yao version

Jia Ling: It depends on what the audience likes to watch

Bai Kainan: Then what do everyone like to watch? What?

Jia Ling: Let me ask you first

Bai Kainan: Yeah

Jia Ling: What do your family members like to watch?

Bai Kainan: My mother likes to watch romantic dramas, my father likes to watch martial arts movies, especially my wife is willing to watch court dramas, it’s hard to agree with everyone else

Jia Ling: Not necessarily, let’s adjust it on the spot today. Take the traditional cross talk "On Ping Tiao"

Bai Kainan: Ah

Jia Ling: Interpret it into various versions

Bai Kainan: Not all of these What version is there?

Jia Ling: Hey, what did you say your mother likes to watch?

Bai Kainan: Romantic drama

Jia Ling: Then let’s do one Qiong Yao's version of "On Praising and Teasing"

Bai Kainan: What's the name of this?

Jia Ling: It's called "Pengping Deeply, Teasing Mengmeng"

Bai Kainan: : Then, let’s start over again

Jia Ling: Come

(Love is deep and rainy music plays)

Jia Ling: Wow

Jia Ling: Isn’t this my brother? (Hong Kong and Taiwan accent)

Bai Kainan: You are not my sister (Hong Kong and Taiwan accent)

Jia Ling: Uh-huh

Bai Kainan: How did you come here (Hong Kong and Taiwan accent)

Jia Ling: I came here to participate in a performance

Bai Kainan: What a coincidence, I am also here to participate in the performance

Jia Ling: But on this stage, I am teasing, and you are just a compliment

Bai Kainan: Isn’t it important to praise (the second tone)?

Jia Ling: Brother, please. Don't argue with me, okay? (Shake Bai Kainan's hand)

Bai Kainan: He's not okay anymore

Jia Ling: That's okay.

In this case, we might as well have a showdown. I am a red flower on the stage, and (fa? uh?) you are just a rotten vegetable leaf

Bai Kainan: What, how can you be like this? It can't be like this. If I were a rotten vegetable leaf. Then you are popcorn

Jia Ling: That’s enough, I don’t want you to teach me a lesson, you damn 38

Bai Kainan: What? You said I’m 38, no, you Wrong. I'm not 38, not 38! It's 37. Haven't you heard of the saying "three points of amusing and seven points of praise"?

Jia Ling: Okay! I don't want to argue with you like this anymore. I know you have always wanted to be funny in your heart.

Bai Kainan: Did I say it?

Jia Ling: Yes, I said it. You obviously said it! You You know, your eyes have betrayed your heart, but your eyebrows have betrayed your eyes (the camera moves closer, a close-up of Bai Kainan’s eyebrows)!

Bai Kainan: Cut

Jia Ling: However, if you want to be a joke, it is just wishful thinking and it will not bring good results, because you are not worthy, you are not worthy (sobbing)!

Bai Kainan: No, you say It's not true, you are talking nonsense, talking nonsense, talking nonsense (shakes head)

Jia Ling: Calm down (slaps Bai Kainan in the mouth)

Bai Kainan: Huh?

Jia Ling: What's the matter? What's the matter?

Bai Kainan: Stop

Jia Ling: What's the matter?

Bai Kainan: No, I am really devoted to my performance. How can I do it? It seems like I was slapped by you?

Jia Ling: No

Bai Kainan: You hit me, right?

Audience: No

Bai Kainan: No

Jia Ling: How honest the audience is

Bai Kainan: What kind of honesty? Who doesn’t know who hurts you? It’s not you

Jia Ling: We Didn't you just play Qiong Yao's version of "On Praising"?

Bai Kainan: For Qiong Yao

Jia Ling: Isn't this just to appear sensational?

Bai Kainan: Then slap me

Jia Ling: Ah

Part Three? Jin Yong’s version

Bai Kainan: If this doesn’t work, you have to change

Jia Ling: OK, OK, let’s change to Jin Yong’s version of Lun Peng Dou that your father likes to watch

Bai Kainan: What’s the name of this?

Jia Ling: "Legend of Stage Heroes: Flirting with Evil and Poisoning"

Bai Kainan: Huh, start over

(Iron-Blooded Heart music starts)

Use your fingers and mouth to make Ultraman Classic moves

Bai Kainan: (Using Feng Gong’s accent) This is not a joke. Is the gang leader teasing you to play heroes? (Hands over)

Jia Ling: (Shaanxi mouth) Hahahaha Who do I think you are? It turns out to be the leader of the Pengcai Clan, Pingshou Daxia?

Bai Kainan: I heard that the Dou Daxia Pengcai Clan is praising us. I've been rude, so I'm here today to seek justice (put on a good posture)

Jia Ling: Not bad. Are those of you who are praising you just some bad side theories? Only those of us who are teasing can be called martial arts heroes, Jie (softly, pointing to Bai Kainan Golden Rooster Independent)

Bai Kainan: Did someone ask me to bring it to you? Say a word! (Nine Yin White Bone Claws)

Jia Ling: What words? (Learn from Batman)

Bai Kainan: Today’s martial arts is three points funny and seven points flattering. You guys are just expired popcorn, that’s all (Learn the Qigong of Jia Gui Qigong)

Jia Ling: Okay, let me teach you a lesson today by (distributing? uh?) this popcorn. This bad dish? Ye Ye (Learning to Fight Cock)

Bai Kainan: Today I want to clean up the martial arts world. Please take action (Golden Rooster Independent)

Jia Ling: You said he is like this and you still need me to take action? (Push Bai Kainan)

Bai Kainan: Yeah? (Inverted)( Fa? Um?)

Jia Ling: What happened?

Bai Kainan? Why did I suffer a loss again?

Jia Ling: I didn’t even touch it You

Part 4? Palace version

Bai Kainan: If you can’t act like this, you have to change it

Jia Ling: OK, OK, let’s change it to another version.

Change to the one your wife likes to watch, the palace version of "On Ping Dou"

Bai Kainan: Then what is the name of this?

Jia Ling: It's called "The Secret History of Ping Dou"

p>

Bai Kainan: Let’s start again

(Thousand-Hand Guanyin music starts)

(The two dressed up as concubines and approached the emperor, and began to dance "Thousand-Hand Guanyin" Guanyin")

Jia Ling: Your Majesty, Your Majesty

Bai Kainan: No, you, who are you?

Jia Ling: I am Dou Fei.

Bai Kainan: I, I just remember to tease Fei Fei, remember three points to tease and seven points to support.

Jia Ling: Your Majesty, are you talking about three-point teasing and seven-point support? Are you talking about the legendary three-point teasing and seven-point support?

Bai Kainan: Yes, Dou Fei, this is the legendary three points of teasing and seven points of support.

Jia Ling: Is it true, Your Majesty, are you really talking about the legendary three-point teasing and seven-point teasing?

Bai Kainan: Yes, Concubine Dou, This is really the legendary three points of teasing and seven points of support.

Jia Ling: Is it true, Your Majesty? Then, why is it called the legendary three-point teasing and seven-point teasing?

Bai Kainan: Yes, teasing concubine, that is. Because it is composed of three points and seven points

Jia Ling: Really, Your Majesty? Do you think it is fair to treat Concubine Tiao like this? In this deep palace, I am tired of intrigues. Endless, endless, endless?

Bai Kainan: You are endless, even if it is three points of teasing and seven points of praise, what does it matter?

Jia Ling: Do you think it doesn’t matter? Do you really think it doesn’t matter? Do you really think it doesn’t matter? You don’t want to sever ties with me, do you?

Bai Kainan: I am just with you Cut off the relationship! No, it makes me feel even worse when you act like this than when you hit me just now!

Jia Ling: Really? Is this real? Do you really feel uncomfortable? But this is with me What does it matter?

Bai Kainan: I can’t stand it anymore

Jia Ling: Really? Is this true? You really can’t stand it anymore ? But what does this have to do with me?

Bai Kainan: Oh, I beg you, can’t I stop talking about this cross talk?

Jia Ling: Really? Is this true? Are you really not going to talk about cross talk anymore? But what does this have to do with me?

Bai Kainan: Ouch, help! (Get off the stage )

Jia Ling: Are you willing to take your life? Really? Is this true? Are you really not planning to take your life anymore? But what does this have to do with me?< /p>