Provide some jokes (don’t copy the URL)

A man went to visit his friend, but only his friend’s young and beautiful wife was at home. He boldly seduced her into sleeping with him in exchange for 500 yuan. She thought about it and thought it was a good deal and easy money, so she actually went to bed with him.

After dark, her husband came back from get off work and asked: "Has Fadi been here today?"

"He has been, why are you asking him?" She felt guilty to answer.

"Did he give you 500 yuan?"

"What? 500 yuan?" She felt panicked.

"Well!" said the husband: "Last month I lent him 500 yuan and promised that I would do it today

In those days, Pan Jinlian had an affair with that abominable third party Ximen Qing After getting married, Wu Dalang felt completely defeated in his married life. Unfortunately, he could not beat Ximen Qing. In addition, his own conditions were not good, he was disabled in the third degree, and remarriage became a problem. He was extremely mourning. In depression, he saw the people around him. When people came back from overseas, they were all golden, and he also came up with the idea of ??gilding. After many consultations, Wu Dalang learned that it was difficult to obtain an Indiana passport to the Americas (there seemed to be no United States at that time). The little money he earned from selling sesame cakes was also taken away by Pan Jinlian. He didn't even have enough money to buy a plane ticket, so he decided to sneak into Japan.

After arriving in Japan, Wu Dalang's first impression was. : Kao, even more Sannia than Sannia, is simply an uncivilized bird country. The wilderness of the East at that time also brought unlimited business opportunities to Wu Dalang. In just one year, 500 "Wu Dalang sesame cake franchise stores" were opened. ", its reputation far surpasses that of Sony, Toshiba, and McDonald's.

The emperor of Japan heard that Wu Dalang, a master from the Central Plains, and heard about the high-level civilization development of the Central Plains, invited Wu Dalang to the palace. Respected as a distinguished guest. Wu Dalang and he became brothers and spent a good time together. One day, the emperor said to Wu Dalang unhappily: "Your Excellency, I have something to ask you for help."

< p>"NoProblem, brother, your business is not my business," Wu Dalang patted his shoulder and said.

"The Central Plains is so civilized and developed, but we don't have writing yet, can you..."

"Kao, just a trivial matter, we can handle it"

Humor|Jokes are all in Haha Entertainment

After that, Wu Dalang began to teach the emperor and officials to learn Chinese characters, but Wu Dalang didn't have much ink in his belly. , just teach me some typos and half-words. If you don’t believe it, look at the current Japanese characters as proof.

Later, the emperor asked Wu Dalang to design the national flag. Wu Dalang racked his brains to design the national flag creatively. , and to highlight Wu Dalang's style, I took out a sesame seed cake and glued it to the apron to form an "apron sesame seed flag". This is the national flag of Japan and Wu Dalang's signature flag.

One. On the same day, Wu Dalang and the emperor watched the dancing girl's performance. Wu Dalang couldn't help but think of Pan Jinlian and the beautiful girl he met at "Chunmanlu" (it turns out that Wu Dalang is also a lustful person, but his own conditions are too poor, which is worse than Ximen Qing's pick-up with girls. (more), casually humming the little lewd tune I heard in front of "Chun Man Hu" "...My husband, please undress quickly..."

Musician of "Tianle, Tianle" He quickly wrote down the little lewd tune and named it "Kun no Dai (generation)".

The emperor noticed the displeasure of Brother Dalang and asked about the whole story: "Although I am a coquettish woman from the Oriental Kingdom. A few, but the beauty is acceptable, I will give you three thousand. "It's a blessing in disguise. I lost one Pan Jinlian and three thousand coquettish girls. From then on, Wu Dalang was as happy as a mouse, sowing seeds day and night to create children. Now there are many Wu Dalang temples in Japan. I like to call him XX Lang when naming. In order not to respect the taboos of my ancestors, the eldest son is not called "Da Lang", but XX Dragon The people from the East are all descendants of Wu Dalang.

Humor joke expert: www.haha56.cn Haha Entertainment

Although Wu Dalang was proud of his success, he still remembered Ximen Qing's hatred for seizing his wife, so he called a meeting. He formed a group of people and taught them the boxing skills he stole from his second brother Wu Song, in order to seek revenge in the future. This boxing method was named "Wu Shi Dao". After all, Ximen Qing was Ximen Qing, and Wu Dalang could not hide his inferiority. Without self-confidence, they were afraid of failing in revenge and becoming the butt of laughter, so they trained these people. Once they failed, they cut their abdomens with a knife and became immortals and Buddhas, which was actually silenced.

As the imperial dog worships the ghost shrine again, in order to remind the Japanese island countries to cherish the hard-won peace and commemorate Mr. Wu Dalang's great contribution to the development of Japanese culture, I write this article to inform the world. .

Xiaomao returned home and his father was playing with a new lie detector. When he met Xiao Mao, his father asked, "How was your test score today?" Xiao Mao replied, "It was an A." Lie detector: "Beep----" sounded. Xiao Mao quickly changed his words: "It's B, it's B." The lie detector beeped again. Xiaomao was frightened and quickly said honestly: "It's C." Dad said angrily: "It's really disappointing! When I was your age, all my test scores were A!" At this time, the lie detector was big He screamed and fell to the ground.

Three people boasted about their aphrodisiacs.

A said: The male rabbit took my medicine and made the female donkey pregnant.

B said: I The medicine made male monkeys and elephants give birth to baby elephants.

C said: I dropped the medicine into the noodle pot, and all the noodles stood up

A farmer entered the hospital for the first time. See a doctor in the city. Went early and took the first call.

The nurse shouted: "Unit number! Unit number! Unit number!"

The farmer didn't know he was being called, so he didn't answer. When the nurse saw no one answered, he asked Number 2 to come in. . The farmer waited for a long time and no one called him, so he became anxious and went to find a nurse.

The nurse said: "What's your number?"

The farmer said: "I'm number one!"

"Then what did you do when I called you just now?" Don't agree? "

"When did you call me?"

"One is one, one is one. , the farmers understood. Just go in and see a doctor.

The doctor asked: "What's wrong with you?"

The farmer replied: "It hurts."

The doctor didn't understand: "It hurts?"

p>

The farmer said: "It's just a pain in the waist."

The doctor was angry: "A pain in the waist is just a pain in the waist. How can it be a pain all at once?"

The farmer said: "Your nurse said it is a pain in the waist." That's Yao (waist), (waist) Yao is one. "

The doctor pursed his lips and gave him a note, saying: "Go, do a stool test and a urine test."

< p>After about ten minutes, the farmer came back with shit on his lips. "Doctor, I barely swallowed my urine, but I really can't swallow my stool!"

The doctor couldn't laugh or cry. He explained to the farmer that it was "testing" and not "swallowing"!

The farmer understood and went out with the urine bottle. I had swallowed all my urine just now, but this time I finally squeezed out half of the bottle.

As soon as I walked out of the toilet door, I accidentally bumped into a pregnant woman and spilled her urine. The farmer was anxious and said, "What should I do?"

The pregnant woman said, "Don't panic, I have it!" She went to the toilet and peed in a bottle and gave it to the farmer. The farmer took it for testing and it was over. Take the test report to the doctor.

The doctor is also a fool. He looked at the test report and said to the farmer: "It's okay, you are pregnant."

After hearing this, the farmer took The test sheet went home.

After he got home, he slapped his wife twice and said angrily: "I said I was on top, but you have to be on top, look, you made me pregnant, didn't you?

There was a girl who worked in an IT company. One morning, the weather was very nice. The IT girl was concentrating on her work, and she didn’t notice that her skirt was caught in the drawer.

When she stood up. The skirt was torn with a "squeak" sound. The IT girl quickly picked up an IT magazine next to her and covered it. Unexpectedly, her colleagues burst into laughter. The cover of the magazine is an advertisement for online games: "Super large capacity, can accommodate 100,000 users at the same time." The IT girl picked up another magazine and her colleagues laughed again. The cover of this magazine was. Antivirus software: "Beware of viruses." The IT girl was so angry that she fainted when she picked up the third magazine. The third magazine was a hardware magazine with the cover page. U disk advertisement: "Plug and play". In my daze, I remembered to protect the key parts, so I pulled the fourth magazine and covered it. When I woke up, I saw it. A shopping guide magazine reads: “Big discount of 30% off! "Fainted again