Does anyone know of any classic bad jokes? ~

There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together. The penguin pulled out the hairs on his body one by one. After pulling out, he said to the polar bear: "It's so cold!" The polar bear listened, He also pulled out the hairs on his body one by one, turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" He said that there was a penguin whose home was so far away from the polar bear's home that it would take him 20 years to walk. to arrive. One day, the penguin was very bored at home and was going to go find the polar bear to play. So he went out, but when he was halfway down the road, he found that he had forgotten to lock the door. It had been 10 years since he left, but the door still had to lock. Lock it, so the penguin walked home again to lock the door. After locking the door, the penguin set off again to find the polar bear. Finally, it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's house... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said: "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" After the polar bear opened the door, guess what? What did he say..."Let's go to your house to play~" The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, not that "So much". . . "The little white rabbit left dejectedly. The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" "Boss: "I'm sorry, it's still not available." "That's it. . . "The little white rabbit left dejectedly again. On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" "The boss said happily: "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today!" ! "The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two! "The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution? The classmate replied: Make the lunch box blue. There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day he was hit by a car, and he yelled: "Quack!" From then on, he turned into a cucumber. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately one day there was a fire in that cornfield. All the corn turned into popcorn. After the bird flew over... He thought it was snowing, but he died of the cold. … Do you know what color Spider-Man is? Red, wrong! It's white. If you don't believe it, read Spider Man in English: Spider Man (white person). After a group of animals had a party, they rushed into the 7-11 convenience store to buy something. Because they were too noisy, they were beaten out by the clerk. But the lamb was left alone in the store. May I ask why? Convenience stores are open 24 hours a day... Celery was walking when he suddenly felt a pain in his stomach. Then he made a "porphyry" sound, and you said he had pooped out something~~ It was Celery excrement (diligence)! ! ! The answer to what color is celery (vegetable) feces: yellow because: Qin Shihuang (celery feces yellow) There was a fat man... jumped from the top of the 20th floor... and turned into... a dead fat man!! Ants from Hima How did he die after falling down Mount Raya? Answer: Starved to death. Because it is too light, it takes a long time to float down... The story happened in China a long time ago. After playing the guessing game all afternoon, good friends Scissors, Rock, and Paper went home together. As they walked... Stone noticed something falling on the roadside. An oil lamp, like Aladdin's magic lamp. He picked it up curiously and brushed off the dust. Suddenly, white smoke came out of the bottle of the magic lamp. From the white smoke, a dragon slowly emerged... But Shenlong was dry and a little malnourished. He spoke: "Who let me out?" The weak stone said: It's me, I am the one who let you out. Shenlong: "Oh...ahem...Then I can give you a wish." ..." Shitou: "Ah...it's only one, isn't there three?" Shenlong: "I'm sorry...because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong...if you don't want to, just pull us down..." Shitou: "Okay...then...you can knock us down Will all three of them become human beings? We are tired of playing guessing games every day.

" Shenlong: "Oh... I'll give it a try... but maybe only one can succeed... because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong..." Shenlong coughed a few times and spat on the three of them. The three of them gradually began to be The white smoke was shrouded, and the dragon gradually disappeared in the Three-Character Sutra. When the white smoke dissipated... the stone is still a stone, the scissors are still scissors, only the cloth is no longer cloth, the cloth has successfully transformed into a human being! At that time, someone happened to be passing by and saw this scene, so he recorded it. This person was Mencius. He wrote: …………. After the success, he became a human being and this statement was passed down to later generations. In the Chinese textbook, a man met God one day. God suddenly became kind and planned to give that man a wish. God asked... Do you have any wish? The man thought about it... I heard that cats have 9 lives... Then please give me 9 lives... God said... Your wish comes true... One day, that man was bored... He wanted to just die... Anyway, I have 9 lives, just lying on the railroad tracks. .... As a result, a train passed by... The man was still dead... Why? Because the train had 10 carriages... I have been dating her for several years. I seem to have less calls recently and my feelings have faded. I asked her why she I just lowered my head and didn't say anything... I didn't know what to do after all... I still can't force my feelings. I heard my friend say that she was very close to a man recently. I couldn't believe it and I didn't want to believe it because... .I really like her...but...that day on the street, I actually saw her holding hands with another person, talking and laughing very intimately. In an instant, my heart...broken...after my After asking about it, I found out that he... turned out to be a medical student whose home opened a big hospital. How could I, a third-rate university student, compare to him... I haven't been able to sleep these past few days and I still want to save the relationship between us... . I thought for a long time and decided to give her an apple every day because I firmly believe that "An apple a day keeps a doctor away." A bear came over: Come prepared (come prepared) Book 11: Unbelievable (book11) The sheep stopped breathing: he was elated (the sheep didn’t exhale). How to make the drink bigger? One day after reciting the Great Compassion Mantra, Mr. Wang was driving home. Suddenly, a Mercedes Benz passed by and the driver shouted to him. : “Brother, have you ever driven a Mercedes-Benz? After saying that, he flew away with a whoosh. Mr. Wang was very angry and increased the accelerator to catch up. When he was about to catch up, the driver stuck out his head and shouted at him: "Brother, drive past the Mercedes-Benz." ? "Then, "whoosh" disappeared again. "Damn, what the hell! "After Mr. Wang finished scolding, he felt a little better, so he stopped chasing. After driving for a while, Mr. Wang saw the Mercedes-Benz overturned on the side of the road. He was curious and drove closer slowly. Only Seeing that the driver was pinned under the car, he said feebly: "Brother, have you ever driven a Daben? Do you know where its brake is? "An international student was taking the driver's license test in the United States. The road sign in front of him told him to turn left. He was not sure, so he asked the examiner: "turn left?" Answer: "right" So... he failed... Question: What are you afraid of with cloth and paper? Answer: cloth Afraid of ten thousand, paper afraid of the unexpected. Reason: Not afraid of ten thousand (cloth), only afraid of the unexpected (paper).

Male: I really love you, please be my girlfriend!! Female: But I have no feelings for you at all!! Male: Well, tell me what is wrong with me, and I will change it!!! Female : Then tell me what is good about me first, and I will change it!!! During the Water Splashing Festival, everyone splashed water on each other to bless each other, and suddenly someone cursed: Damn, who splashed on me? Others advised: Splashing on you is a blessing to you. The scolder said: Don't do this, who just poured boiling water on me? When the freshman class started, a buddy came to our dormitory with luggage on his back. He asked his roommate who was sleeping on the lower bunk: "Is your upper bunk unoccupied?" The sleeping buddy didn't pay attention in a daze and said casually: "No~" After hearing this, the guy used all his strength to throw a large bag of luggage onto the upper bunk - but it turned out that the upper bunk had no bed board! A high school classmate of mine wrote an essay with the title "Return to Alma Mater". Among the excerpts: I drove an expensive sports car, next to Xiaomi, back to my alma mater. Are you going back to your alma mater to get beaten up? Come donate! The students and teachers lined up to welcome him, and the principal's face was filled with smiles. He shouted: "Welcome Wu Wanwan to return to his alma mater!" After reading it, the teacher commented: "It's whimsical and unrealistic. Take it back and rewrite it!" Rewritten content: I rode a Feige bicycle, carrying my wife and children back to my alma mater with a squeaking sound. Is the beating coming? Sponsorship is here! The principal said with a smile: "The school's funds are also tight now." In the end, only my former Chinese teacher sympathetically gave me 50 yuan and repeatedly warned: "Regain confidence in life and find a good job again!" After reading it, the teacher commented: "It has profound intentions, simple writing style, and a rare masterpiece!" Booking Office: Tickets are extremely tight right now. If the train ticket you want is not available, will you accept the adjustment? Me: obey. When I got the ticket the next day, I was angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did they give me a ticket to Shanxi? ! ! Booking and Editing Office: Didn’t you say that you should obey the adjustment? Just now my girlfriend sent me a text message: "Let's break up!" After a while, I received again: "Sorry, I sent it to the wrong person!!"