20 humorous jokes

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Here are 20 humorous jokes I collected, I hope they will help you!

Humorous jokes

1, there is an ugly girl who has never been married and wants to be abducted. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus, and the kidnapper gnashed his teeth and said, let's go. . No car! ! !

Spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. The spider shouted: Why? What is all this about? The ant said timidly: My mother said that people who stay online all day are not good people!

3, your happiness, I will create; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I'm the only one who cares about you. I am a professional pig farmer.

4. Fish said: I keep opening my eyes just to keep you in my eyes forever ~

Water said: I keep flowing, just to hug you forever ~ ~

5. You want to invite me to dinner. If you don't meet my requirements, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate.

6. The centipede was bitten by a snake and had to be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs ~! ! Doctor comfort: relax, brother, you will be an earthworm in the future ~

7. Yesterday in my dream, the Lord said that one of my wishes could come true. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace! The Lord said it was too difficult! I took out your photo and said, make this person beautiful! God sweated and said, "Bring me the globe and let me have a look!"

8. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever? Do you want people all over the world to be crazy about you? Stop dreaming, wash your feet and sleep!

9. A boy gave a nickname to a friend in his class, called Fat Pig. The girl cried to the teacher, who promised to criticize the boy. The next day, the teacher said in class, "A boy is so rude that he gives others nicknames casually. Can't others tell him what he looks like? "

10, on behalf of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China, the State Council, the National People's Congress, the Central Military Commission and the offices of Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan in the State Council, I would like to lodge the strongest protest to you: Why didn't Taiwan Province Province appear on the map of China left after you wet the bed last night?

1 1. A woman took a nursing child to a restaurant for dinner. This is because the child is crying. The woman quickly lifted her clothes and the waiter came to stop her. The woman is furious: Can't this work? Attendant: You can show your breasts, but you can't bring your own drinks.

12, you know? Without your news, I want to die. I used to hang myself with noodles, hit my head with tofu, take poison with coke, jump off a building with parachutes, and cut my pulse with chopsticks. Yesterday, I got up the courage to touch the switch, but unfortunately the power went out. Alas, it's no use! Look how much I miss you.

13, this may be the last time I send you a text message. I hesitate to tell you that I'm going to America in the near future, and all the formalities have been completed. I can't help it, really Bush said he couldn't handle bin Laden without me.

14, you dragged a pig shopping, very happy. I passed by and said sympathetically, "Look at a person's grade, just look at who he is with." Before I finished, I saw the pig abandon you with disdain.

15, a mosquito stung on his left arm and drank a lot. You were awakened by a sting. At the moment when you waved your right hand to hit the mosquito, the mosquito said to you: Your blood is flowing in my body! !

16, a four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl. The little girl said shyly, you are responsible for me. The little boy said nobly, Don't worry, we're not one or two years old.

17, a farmer will kill the chicken tomorrow and feed it at night, saying, eat quickly, this is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down, leaving a suicide note: I have taken rat poison, you can't eat me, and I'm not easy to mess with ~!

18, girlfriend! When I am rich, I will use remy martin to flush the toilet for you, light your cigarette with US dollar bills, take a bubble bath with 999 roses, take you to work with Boeing, and use Princess Zhu Huan as your maid! Okay？

19, people are really tired when they are alive! You must queue up when you get on the bus. Secret love is really painful. Eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, and work is very tiring. You can't rob it, you have to pay taxes if you earn money, and you have to pay for texting pigs ~!

20. When I heard that you were trafficked, I was really scared. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it!

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