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Super funny essay
Super funny essay 1: teaching a stupid apprentice.
In Zhaojiafan, there was a young man named Zhao Jie. When he was five years old, he accidentally fell into a paddy field more than 4 meters high from the roadside outside his house. His whole head is in the mud. Fortunately, I was saved in time, but my brain was not good and I became a half-stupid person.
Although Zhao Jie is a half idiot, he is a handsome young man. As long as you are not confused, you are no different from normal people. You work well and hard. When I am sick, I sometimes talk to myself and sometimes learn from others.
When it was time to talk about marriage, Zhao Jie's parents found a matchmaker and finally told their son that a woman with three points of stupidity would be their daughter-in-law. Both adults are relieved.
Daughter-in-law finally got pregnant. When Zhao Jie woke up, she was as happy as her parents.
When it was time to have a baby, the daughter-in-law was sent to the county health station by her in-laws, just to ensure the safety of adults and children.
The baby was born safely, a big fat boy, and grandparents were happy from ear to ear. When Zhao Jie was happy, he said in confusion? I gave birth to a fat boy for my wife, and I gave birth to a fat boy for my wife.
Zhao Jie, according to her mother's instructions, happily reported good news to her husband's family with a big rooster in one hand and two bags of brown sugar in the other.
When he came to his mother-in-law's door, he shouted: Mom, I gave birth to a big fat boy for your daughter. I've come to give good news! ?
As soon as the mother-in-law listened to the silly son-in-law, she rushed out to meet the silly son-in-law and corrected it happily. You are wrong. My daughter should give you a big fat boy. ?
? Yes, you are wrong. My daughter should give you a big fat boy. ?
Mother-in-law asked: Where did your daughter come from? How can you give me a big fat man?
Zhao Jie walked in the door, took her mother-in-law's words and said? Yes, where did you get your daughter? How can you give birth to a big fat boy for me?
My mother-in-law reminds me: I have a daughter, your wife is my daughter, and you have no daughter. ?
? Your wife is my daughter, but you have no daughter. ? Zhao Jie said that he would put the rooster on the ground, put two packets of brown sugar on the table, and then sit down.
The mother-in-law raised her voice while pouring water. I am your mother-in-law, a woman, how can I have a wife? My daughter is your wife. You got it?
Zhao Jie silly nodded and said? I get it, I get it! I am your mother-in-law and my daughter is your wife. Got it! ?
As soon as the mother-in-law listened to the silly son-in-law, she said, yes, yes, yes! You are my mother-in-law and your daughter is my wife! ? After that, I thought about it and said, No! It really confuses me. You don't have much time. Do you teach well? Stupid? apprentice
Zhao Jie looked at her mother-in-law and asked with a smile. Who taught the stupid apprentice?
The mother-in-law looked at the silly son-in-law and said with a smile, You taught me this silly apprentice! ?
? Are you my stupid apprentice? Zhao Jie pointed to her mother-in-law and asked with a smile.
Mother-in-law smiled and nodded.
Super funny sketch 2: looking for acquaintances to buy things
Don't expect too much from your relatives and acquaintances these days. Once you're finished, it's really hard for you to talk. Lesson! The lesson is painful!
Anyway, my aunt's niece's uncle's brother-in-law went to the computer shop to buy a computer. Well, find an acquaintance. When I met an acquaintance, I was an old classmate! Come on, I'll sell this notebook for over 8000 yuan. We are acquaintances, aren't we? I'll give you 6800, which is cheap 1200 yuan! I usually sell it for 8000.
Well, my aunt's niece's uncle's brother-in-law rushed to buy it. It feels so good to be home. I can't wait to sleep with my computer at night.
In two days. Another buddy, oh, is my little sister's boyfriend and brother-in-law downstairs. They are sworn brothers.
The boyfriend and brother-in-law of Miss Sister's sister downstairs asked my aunt's niece's uncle's brother-in-law: Brother, how much did you spend on this computer?
My aunt's niece's uncle's brother-in-law said: the original price is 8000, and I bought it from an acquaintance, only 6800.
My little sister's elder sister's boyfriend is downstairs, and his brother-in-law asks what brand, configuration and model. I bought it there, too.
Well, my little sister's elder sister's boyfriend and brother-in-law came back downstairs in half a day. Did my aunt's niece's uncle's brother-in-law ask him to buy it? The boyfriend and brother-in-law of the younger sister's sister downstairs said? I didn't buy it. ? My aunt's niece's uncle's brother-in-law next door asked why not buy it.
The boyfriend and brother-in-law of the younger sister's sister downstairs replied, I am afraid that you will be sad. As soon as I went, your acquaintance said, Please come in and have a look at our new products. I pointed to your machine and asked, and your acquaintance said, Look at the boss, you have a good eye. The machine with the original price of 6800 is sold to you for 4000! ?
Super funny sketch 3: wife sues husband
A woman accused her husband of rape.
When the judge received the complaint, everyone was happy from ear to ear. You know, this court has not had a case for a long time. Without a case, everything can only be eaten by yourself. Now that we have discussed it, we can go to court without any procedure!
The judge asked the woman:? Is there any evidence that your husband is against your wishes?
The woman took out her underwear: this is evidence! When I disagree, he has been crying since he tore his pants.
The judge seems to be a cruel man. Was he angry when he heard the woman crying? Ow? Shout loudly and clap the gavel:? Pull this beast down and hit 50 boards! ?
The clerk next to him quickly reminded me that there is no big board now, only on TV. ?
The judge froze. He remembers that he watched too much TV recently, which made people fascinated by it. After a pause, he suppressed his anger: defendant, speak quickly! ?
As the defendant's husband, he never understood that as his wife, he was accused of rape. Moreover, although the relationship between the two couples is not very good, they sleep in the same bed and their skin is very close. Where did rape come from?
? Answer quickly! ? His hair stood on end when the judge saw his stupidity.
The defendant didn't know how to answer and was speechless for a long time.
? Not talking is the default, and the judgment is as follows
? Slow? Slow down, did you hear that? Judge? In two words, the mind is clear for an instant: I didn't do anything wrong to my wife. We've been married for six years, and it's always been like this. She always waits for me to move.
? What about these broken pants? The judge felt that the defendant was picky and always wanted to get angry at once.
? These trousers will rot even if they are not torn. How can you say I tore it? Men are afraid in court, but because they are facing their wives, their mentality can be stable.
? Bold! ? The judge was angry again: you didn't tear it, did I tear it?
A burst of laughter burst into laughter, and the judge knew he had made a slip of the tongue.
The defendant couldn't laugh, and he began to get angry: Can you know our husband and wife better than me, especially at night? Can you force this evidence on me because my pants are torn?
There is something wrong with that juror. He touched the judge with his hand, meaning to adjourn the court before retrial.
The next day, everyone received the benefits of the plaintiff. A few days later, the trial continued.
? According to the last trial, the evidence is conclusive and belongs to rape! Defendant, anything else? The judge asked calmly.
? I told you, we are husband and wife, how can outsiders know about the life of husband and wife? And my wife never took the initiative. Is my initiative rape? Men are tit for tat. He is thinking of such things as husband and wife. Does the judge dare to mess around? Moreover, there are no witnesses to such a thing, because both sides are talking about it.
According to the original, the defendant retorted that the judge would lose his temper immediately. But because the judge understood the essence this time, he felt that the defendant was now in a passive state. As long as he takes his time, he can have evidence to sentence him.
? Do you know how long your wife put up with you? She could have turned you in a long time ago, but she has put up with it until now because she is kind. ? The judge said slowly.
? You know, your honor, we are husband and wife, and nightlife is a private life! Does your wife always take the initiative?
There was another snicker in the courtroom?
? How presumptuous! ? The judge was angered again. ? Do you dare to compare with me? I don't need to take the initiative in our private life at all. My wife, the judge, once again knew that she had slipped her tongue and stopped talking at once.
A trial turned into a joke, and no one but the defendant could help laughing happily?
The judge blushed and he pointed to the defendant with a little trembling. You are illiterate and don't even know the basic knowledge of law. Although you are your wife, she also has rights. ?
? So, if my wife refuses for the rest of my life, I have to stay still for the rest of my life, right?
? Sophistication! Sophistication! It's sophistry! ? The judge can no longer calm down. He turned to the plaintiff and asked, Are you sure your husband tore your pants?
? Yes! ?
? So what did he do next?
? He made me strong. Although I refused, he ignored my feelings! ? Did that woman cry again?
? That's right. The verdict is as follows:
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