Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Do you have any humorous jokes that are suitable for employees' training in enterprises? Please do me a favor and provide some for me. Thank you.

Do you have any humorous jokes that are suitable for employees' training in enterprises? Please do me a favor and provide some for me. Thank you.

Q: What is the antonym of mobile phone?

A: Foot

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Xiaoming's father has three sons, the first one is Da Mao, the second one is Er Mao, and the third one is What's his name?

name is San Mao. ..... because Xiao Ming is a woman.

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How many brothers does Aladdin have?

3. Ala Jia, Ala B, Ala Bing.

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Xiao Huamei said to her mother, Mom, I don't feel well today, and I don't want to go to school ... Mom said it was uncomfortable there?

Xiao Huamei said, I don't know why I always feel sour all over.

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A couple went to double suicide together, but they only had enough money to buy a bottle of pesticide, and the amount of pesticide in this bottle was only enough for one person to die. Answer: They bought this bottle of pesticide, opened the bottle cap, and the bottle cap said: Another bottle. (Ha ha ha ~)

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There was a Grenade. One day, after eating, it cleaned its teeth. Suddenly, it found a thorn between its teeth, so it pulled it out hard and exploded ...

a: Ningbo

q: why?

A: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is power off" ...

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China students had an accident on a foreign highway, and even people drove off a cliff. When the traffic police arrived, they shouted down: how are you?

a: i'm fine,thank you.

Then the traffic police left, and the overseas students died.

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After a group of great scientists died, they were playing hide-and-seek in heaven. It was Einstein's turn to catch people. When he counted to 1, he opened his eyes and saw that everyone was hiding, except Newton.

Einstein walked over and said, "Newton, I got you."

Newton: "No, you didn't catch Newton."

Einstein: "You are not Newton. Who are you?"

Newton: "What do you see under my feet?"

Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing on a square floor tile with a length and width of one meter.

Newton: "This is a square meter under my feet, and it is Newton/square meter when I stand on it, so you don't catch Newton, you catch Pascal." (This is more spoonful, hahahaha)

When Pascal heard this, he ran out with a square-meter floor tile and said, "Newton is here, Newton is here"

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Make sentences with besides

Children: Besides, besides, besides, besides,

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I'll tell you a funny story ~ ~ A chicken slipped down a mountain ....................................................................................................... The princess said in astonishment, "What?"

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One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside.

Mom nervously shouted outside the house, "Son ... what are you doing ... you still can't come out after the fire ..."

My son replied, "I'm wearing socks ..."

Mom said, "What socks are you wearing after the fire ..."

After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet.

Mom shouted nervously again, "Son, what the hell are you doing? Come out quickly, they are all on fire and still stay inside. "

The son said, "I'm taking off my socks ..."

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"I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist. "Please come with me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?" "the sun." The patient replied. "Then how far do you want to see!"

on the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but still caught nothing and went home.

On the third day, when the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

If you dare to use carrot as bait again, I will crush you to death!

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One day, a little white rabbit came to a shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head: "No."

The little white rabbit whooshed away after hearing it.

The next day, the little white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little white rabbit whooshed away after hearing it.

On the third day, the little white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shouted angrily, "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your teeth with pliers! "

The little white rabbit whooshed away after hearing it.

On the fourth day, the little white rabbit came to this shop again and asked timidly, "Boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said, "No."

The white rabbit asks, "Do you have any carrots?"

I don't know how many days later, a little black rabbit came to this shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little black rabbit whooshed away after hearing it.

The next day, the little black rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was very angry: "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your teeth with pliers! "

The little black rabbit whooshed away after hearing it.

On the third day, the little black rabbit came to the shop again and asked timidly, "Boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said angrily, "No."

The little black rabbit asks, "Do you have any carrots?"

The boss was angry. He caught the little black rabbit, took out a small hammer and knocked out the little black rabbit's teeth.

On the fourth day, the little black rabbit came to the shop again and asked vaguely, "Boss, do you have carrot juice?"

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Giraffe said, "Bunny, I wish you could know how nice it is to have a long neck. No matter what delicious food I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The rabbit looked at him without expression.

"And, in summer, rabbit, the cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is so delicious. It's great to have a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? "

The rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

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Mother Tofu came to the kindergarten to pick up the children and chatted with the teacher. The teacher asked,

"Mrs Tofu, do you like hot pot?"

"I like it very much!"

"that's great! Actually ... when playing hide-and-seek in the afternoon, your child hid in the refrigerator. "

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According to legend,

there is a killer,

the heart is cold,

the sword is cold, and

the hand is cold!

So ...

He froze to death! ! !

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A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze.

When he was really bored, he began to pull out his own fur.

One ... two ... three ... The last one was left, < ! .................

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One day, there was a soft candy walking in the street.

She suddenly said, "Oh, my legs are so soft! "

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There is a lovely pony tied to a lovely pine tree, and the little mala-la-la turns into a marathon ...------------

.

.........................

Because it is very strong

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One day, an eggplant was walking in the street, and suddenly it sneezed heavily, and it wiped it.

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Who is the most devoted in fairy tales? A: Mermaid, because she can't cheat

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Cars can fly. Guess a drink ...

coffee.

because ... (car) (flying).

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How many letters are left after e and t are removed from 26 letters?

24

is wrong. Correct answer: 21, because ET left by UFO.

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Why can't we tell cold jokes at the seaside?

it should cause sea laughter (whistling).

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Sichuanese always look at a small animal before eating spicy food, and then they are not afraid of spicy food. What small animal is it?

cockroaches.

because there is a lyric: "I am not afraid of being spicy when I see cockroaches ~".

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There was a pig. He walked and walked to England. What did he become?

Pig。

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A turtle walked over a pile of shit, leaving only three footprints on it. Why?

there is a foot holding your nose.

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Jin Mu is a land of fire and water, whose legs are long?

ham sausage.

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A boss of society B caught sight of a young man in an alley, and

asked him: What is one plus one?

The young man was afraid, thought for a long time and said: it is equal to two.

B social boss quickly took out his pistol and killed him. Leave a sentence when you leave: you know too much.

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Shit and pee are good brothers. One day, when shit crossed the road and was killed by a car, pee said, I really want to shit ...----------.

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Jin Yong's 14 books can be combined into a poem: flying snow shoots white deer in the sky, laughing at the fairy tale

JK Rowling's seven books can also be a sentence: hahahahahahaha

It takes three bullets to kill the red monster and one to kill the green monster. Now that you have a pistol with only two bullets in it, how can you destroy two monsters?

A: First, kill the green monster with one bullet. The red monster turns blue with fear, and then kill it with the remaining bullet.

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One day Jesus had nothing to do, so he ran to the entrance of heaven and wandered around.

I saw an old man waiting in line there, who looked very familiar, like his father Yue Se ~

But he also.

"Hello, old man. What's your name, please?

The old man said, "My name is Yue Se.

Jesus thought, huh? My father's name is also Yue Se ~

, but I'm still not sure ~ ~ So Jesus asked again, "Sir, what did you do before your death?"

I am a carpenter. "The old man replied.

Jesus was taken aback and thought, What a coincidence! My father is also a carpenter.

Jesus continued to ask, "Excuse me, sir, has your son been nailed on both hands and feet?"

The old gentleman looked at him in surprise and said, "How do you know?"

Jesus was in tears ~ ~ and knelt down and cried ~ ~ "Oh, father ~ ~ because I am your son!

The old gentleman also began to shed tears, looked at Jesus and said,

.

.

"So it's you ... puppet ~ ~ ~"

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"I came here," said one. "I was born to like exploring. I'm tired of city life. The car gives off the stench of exhaust gas, and the mud on the road after snow melting is simply terrible. I like listening to the birds singing. I like to keep my feet on the place where no one has ever been there. Dude, how did you come to this

? "

"I came here." Another person said, "it's because my son is practicing saxophone all day."

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A Scotsman went to London and visited an old friend if he wanted to, but he forgot his address.

He sent a telegram home to his brother: "Do you know Thomas' address?" My brother immediately sent an urgent telegram: "Yes."

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A first-year medical student wants to read the Handbook of Practical Anatomy written by Keninghan. The book about the head and neck was hard to buy, so he sent a telegram to his father, who is a doctor. The telegram

said, "Send Keningham's head and neck quickly"

-----------------wife: You care about the ball game more than me and the children.

Dave: Who said that?

wife: don't you admit it? Let me ask you, where is our little treasure?