Funny copywriting in friends circle

1. If you feel sick, don't look it up online. Make a will every time you finish it.

Eating food is kind, because I just want to eat every day and have no time to calculate others.

If I hadn't met a hair stylist who acted on my own, I would have found the other half.

We can't extend the length of life, but we can broaden the width of life. It means: we can't grow taller, but we can gain weight indefinitely.

If I 18 years old, I can say quietly that I like you very much. If I am 28 years old, I can tell you loudly that I love you very much. Unfortunately, I'm only five years old. I can't give you anything. I have to go to kindergarten.

6. "What is the most crowded bus you have ever taken?" "I was passing by, but I was squeezed into the car." Rainy days are suitable for sleeping at home, sunny days are suitable for going out for a walk, and for a long time, no day is suitable for going to work.

7. Every summer I think: Come in winter, I would rather freeze to death than die of heat! But winter: come in summer, I'd rather die of heat than freeze to death!

8. Why can't I lose weight? Because I like to eat when I am happy, and I have a better appetite when I am unhappy.

9. The headmaster said, "Last year, senior one students were responsible for the cleaning, and this year, it is the turn of senior two students."

10. Now I don't even want to set the password of the bank card. It's tiring to think about protecting two-digit deposits with six figures.

1 1. Do you feel that someone who doesn't talk to you often suddenly misses you? I'm telling you, it's purely borrowing money.

12. "I am a prodigal son, used to wandering, and I have been waiting for someone who can let me put down my backpack. I think you are the one I was meant to be. " "Cut the crap, the big bags and small bags have passed the security check, and hurry."

13. Although you are already taken, as a senior gardener, I am best at replacing trees with flowers.

14. Dead vine, old tree, faint crow, air-conditioned wifi watermelon, Ge You sofa, sunset, I'll put it aside.

15. History is always strikingly similar. I'm glad to finally end my one-year single life and usher in a new beginning.

16. When in love, couples often lament what virtue they have accumulated in their last life; After marriage, couples often think about what crimes they committed in their previous lives.

17. I read a lot about the disadvantages of staying up late online. The biggest change for me is that I have changed from a happy staying up late to a fearful staying up late.

18. My girlfriend broke a bowl while washing dishes and complained that I said, "It's all your fault!" I said, "You broke it. Why do you blame me? " She said, "well, if you wash this, won't I break it?" I ... That makes sense. ...

19. It's good that you left, otherwise you would have been worried. You will stay for dinner.

20. Don't worry about the girl with fat hands. The gold ring sent by her husband will be bigger in the future!

2 1. No matter what you do, stick to it and don't be afraid of failure. They say failure is success, mom. If you pursue her baby, of course you should smile at her mother.

22. On the first day of school, the kindergarten director called me and told me if your children watched too many court plays. On the first day of roll call, the child directly replied, "I am a slave!" "

23. The first time I went to the bank to get a card, the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I fill in is: rectangle.

24. When you suddenly don't reply to my message, I always comfort myself that nothing is wrong. You may be dead.

25. Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? Do you want to live carefree? Why don't you stay with me and we'll think together.