Looking for absolutely funny jokes, don’t send them directly from the website

An American was eating in a restaurant in China. When the waiter brought a plate of lobster, the Americans

asked: "What do you do with the leftover shrimp shells?"

"Of course you throw them away," the waiter said. .

"NO! NO! NO!" Americans shook their heads and said, "In the United States, leftover shrimp shells

are sent to factories to be made into shrimp cakes, and then Then sell it to you in China."

After a while, the waiter brought another plate of fruit. The American pointed at one of the lemons and asked: "What do you do with the leftovers? "Lemon peel?" "Of course, throw it away," the waiter said.

"NO! NO! NO!"

The Americans shook their heads and said, "In our United States, leftover lemon peels are sent to factories.

Make Guozhen and then sell it to you in China."

When checking out, the American asked the waiter with a smile while chewing gum: "Excuse me

How do you deal with it? Leftover chewing gum?" "Spit it out, of course," the waiter said.

"NO! NO! NO!"

The American shook his head and said proudly, "In our United States, chewed gum is sent in.

In the factory, condoms are made and then sold to you in China."

The waiter asked impatiently: "Do you know how to dispose of used condoms in China?

"Put it away?"

"Of course you throw it away," the American said.

The waiter shook his head and said: "NO! NO! NO! In China, used condoms are sent to

factories, made into chewing gum, and then sold to you in the United States. "

Classic Joke: Cannibals

A woman ran into a dead end while being chased by cannibals. Frightened, the woman wet her pants. The cannibals saw this and cursed: "What a damn pity! The soup has been spilled!"

After a cannibal woman gives birth to a child, she must first give the child to her husband, and politely say: "While the Eat it hot!"

The rich cannibal took his son to travel abroad. On the plane, the son asked his father: "Why are there so many people on the plane?" The father replied: "God always bless us. .

The cannibals call the elevator: a vending machine

The cannibals call the adopted son: bad food

The cannibals call the bathhouse: a steamer.

The cannibals call people who take baths: soup rice

Classic joke: drinking phlegm

The eldest son and the second son went to the theater to watch a play, and saw the second son in the middle of the movie. They argued about the development of the plot and made a bet.

The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front and said: "The loser has to take a sip of what's in there." ”

Unfortunately, the boss lost, so he frowned and took a sip.

The two then bet on the following plot, and this time, the second boss lost.

The second child picked up a spittoon and drank fifteen big gulps.

The boss was shocked, fell to the ground in admiration, and said to the second child, "You are so amazing, you can actually drink fifteen gulps in a row!"

The second child shook his head, "No. I want to drink, but the spittoon is so thick that I can’t stop biting it.”

Classic joke: Someone touched my butt

One night, a soldier got up to fuck me! Large size, but there were no lights in the toilet in our army, so he had to go to the toilet in the dark. When he was halfway through relieving himself, he found someone touching his buttocks. He was so frightened that he ran to the safety sergeant without even wearing pants and screamed. : "Guan An! Guan An! Someone touched my butt in the toilet!"

Guan An: Is there such a thing?! Don't tell the matter. I will handle it seriously. Go back to sleep first! " The next day, the security officer told the squad leader about this matter. The squad leaders were afraid that it would affect the morale of the troops, so they decided that the next time something like this happened, everyone would go catch ghosts together.

I haven't been there for a week. Something haunted happened...

One night, the soldier went to the tub again. When he squatted down, he felt someone touching his buttocks. This time he screamed louder. It was so loud that all the squad leaders got up and rushed to the toilet. Some were holding sticks and some were holding brooms. Seven or eight people surrounded the door of the toilet. All the lights were on the door. Everyone wanted to take a look. What's inside? Just at this moment, a squad leader opened the door and other squad leaders looked in. All the squad leaders were dumbfounded and froze for about three or four seconds. They only heard the squad leader say: "XXX! What?" The ghost is touching his butt! It’s because he is full of stool!!!

The son asked his father: Does the heart have legs?

Dad: No!

The son asked his mother: Does the liver have legs?

Mom: No?

Son: That’s strange to me. Last night, my father said to my mother in bed: “Heart, split your legs.”