What books can you read to become humorous?

"Follow me: Humorous Eloquence" "The Complete Guide to Eloquence for Women: Become a Smart Woman Who Can Talk"

"The Carnegie Complete Book of Eloquence"

"Follow I learn: humorous eloquence"

"Learn some humorous eloquence every day"

"There is a kind of eloquence called humor"

"Successful learning of humorous eloquence"

"Extremely Eloquent: Nine Required Courses for Effective Speaking"

"Speaking Well: Waterproof Eloquence"

Watch more jokes and listen to more classic cross talk, Watch more classic sketches. Talk less and think more, and don’t be humorous for humor’s sake. It is quite difficult to do the above, take your time and experience it.

The simplest thing is to work hard to climb up. The higher your status, the easier it is to be humorous. If you don’t see a circle of people surrounding a person, and then that person doesn’t even laugh, the circle of people will laugh. Ready, haha.

Flashy

Qi Jinggong said to Yanzi: "In the East China Sea, there are bronze-colored water. In this red water, there are jujube trees, which only bloom.

No fruit. , What's the reason?"

Yanzi replied: "In the past, Duke Mu of Qin traveled around the world in a dragon boat, wrapping steamed dates in yellow cloth and sailing to the East China Sea. The yellow cloth wrapped in the jujubes was discarded, causing the water to turn red, so the water turned bronze. Because the jujubes had been steamed, they only blossomed and did not bear fruit. "

< p>Jinggong said dissatisfied: "I pretended to ask, why are you lying to me?"

Yanzi said: "I heard that people who pretend to ask questions can also give false answers to them."

Yan Zi laughed

Qi Jinggong went to Niushan to visit, and when he climbed north to the capital of Qi, he suddenly cried:

"How can life be like the roaring water, leaving This beautiful mountain and river has died!"

Ai Kong and Liangqiu also cried after hearing this. Yanzi was laughing. Qi Jinggong asked him angrily why he was laughing.

Yanzi replied: "If a capable king is allowed to defend Qi for a long time, then Taigong and Duke Huan will be able to hold Qi for a long time.

If a brave king is allowed to defend Qi for a long time, If you occupy the state of Qi for a long time, then Duke Zhuang and Duke Lin will enjoy the state of Qi for a long time! Then, how can you get the throne of the king and stand in the world because of this alone? It is not in line with benevolence and morality to shed tears when things happen. I have seen one unkind monarch and two flattering ministers. This is why I laugh privately

Ah!"

Yan Zi committed several crimes

Qi Jinggong liked to catch birds, so he sent Zhu Zou to take care of the birds, but Zhu Zou accidentally let the birds fly away. Jinggong was very angry and ordered him to be killed. Yanzi said: "Zhu Zou has three crimes, let me scold him. Then kill him and let him die clearly."

Qi Jinggong said happily: "Okay ." Then Zhu Zou was called in.

Yanzi said seriously: "Zhu Zou! Do you know your crime? You took care of the bird for the king but let it escape. This is the first crime

; making the king do it for Killing a bird is the second charge. When word of this spreads, people in the world think that our country values ??birds and despises people. It ruins the reputation of our king. This is the third charge. It’s really a crime worthy of death!”

After saying that, he immediately asked Duke Jing to order his execution.

But Jinggong said: "Don't kill him, I accept your advice."

----------------- -------------------------------------------------- -------------Hua Zi's love disease

There was a man named Hua Zi in Yangli, Song Dynasty. He suffered from amnesia in his middle age. His family asked the historian for divination, but the historian refused. Divination; praying to witches, but witches will not give hope; asking doctors for treatment, but doctors will not give treatment.

A Confucian scholar from the State of Lu said: "This disease cannot be removed by divination, eliminated by prayer, or cured by medicine.

I tried to change his mind, so Maybe it can be cured.

"So, let Hua Zi sleep in the open air, and the patient will ask for clothes; let Hua Zi starve, and the patient will ask for food; let Hua Zi live in a dark room, and the patient will ask for sunlight. The Confucian scholar happily He said to Hua Zi

's son: "Your father's illness can be cured. But my prescription is secret and cannot be told to others. Please leave me alone with the patient for seven days. "The son agreed. As a result, Hua Zi's amnesia for many years was cured.

However, after Hua Zi became a sensible person, he was very angry and said: "I used to have amnesia and I was empty. I don’t know whether there are any affairs in the world

. Now I suddenly remember the past, decades of life and death, gains and losses, joys and sorrows, good and bad, which makes me feel very irritable.

I worry that future life and death, gains and losses, joys and sorrows, good and bad will disturb my mind. Can I still get that precious amnesia, even if it only lasts for a short period of time? "

Children Debate

Confucius traveled to the East and saw two children arguing. Confucius asked them what they were arguing about.

Child A said: "I think The sun is close to people when it first rises, and far away at noon. "

Yihai said: "I think the sun is far away from people when it rises, but it is closer at noon.

Child A said: "The sun is as big as a parasol on a carriage when it first rises, and as small as a plate at noon." Doesn’t this mean:

It’s big because it’s close, and it’s small because it’s far?

Yihe said: "People feel very cool when the sun first rises, but at noon people feel very hot." Doesn't it feel cold when you are far away, and hot when you are close? "

Confucius was stunned and could not answer. The two children laughed and said: "Who said you are a learned person? ! ”

Only gold

There was a man in the state of Qi who dreamed of getting gold day and night. One morning, he dressed neatly and went straight to the gold shop.

When he saw Huang Chengcheng's gold, he grabbed it and left.

The police officer arrested him and asked: "There are many people present, why are you openly robbing other people's gold?" "

The man replied: "When I took it, I only saw gold and no people. ”

2 Humorous stories from ancient times...

Yang Bu beat the dog

Yang Bu went out wearing a white coat. It was raining, so he took off his coat and He came home wearing only black clothes. His dog thought it was a stranger and barked wildly. His brother Yang Zhu came out and grabbed his brother and said, "Don't hit him." Don't fight, how can you

blame the dog? If a dog goes out with white fur and comes back with black fur, you may not be able to recognize it at all. "

Sunlight Presents the King

There was a farmer in the Song Dynasty who had little experience and spent his whole life wearing a torn sack. One spring, he went to work in the East Village and worked alone< /p>

I felt very warm after being exposed to the sun. After returning home, I said to my wife: "The sun is so warm on my back. Others may not know it." If you offer it to the king, you will definitely receive a great reward. ”

The spell doesn’t work

A man said that he had mastered the spell of immortality. When the king of Yan heard the news, he sent an envoy to learn from him. He has not learned yet

After that, the man died. King Yan was very angry with the envoy and planned to kill him. A favored minister advised him: "Everyone is afraid of death and life." The man who claimed to have mastered the magic of immortality died first, so how can he guarantee that your Majesty will not die? "Then the State of Yan did not

kill the envoy sent to learn magic.

Learn to steal

A poor man from the State of Song asked a rich man from the State of Qi People asked for advice on how to get rich. The rich man said: "I used to be very poor, but now I live a prosperous life because I work hard every day to steal and rob." In the first year, I could maintain my livelihood, in the second year, I had enough food and clothing, and in the third year, my family had enough grain and grain to store up the warehouse. ”

After hearing this, the poor man did not ask how he stole, so he returned to his hometown and started to steal. Every night, he climbed over the wall and dug holes,

stealing wantonly. The family actually became rich. Unexpectedly, the government seized the stolen goods and convicted him, and even the shabby items in the family were confiscated.

After the thief was released from prison, he went to Qi State and complained to the rich man.

The rich man smiled and said: "Alas! You have misunderstood me. I am in the season of grabbing the sky and stealing the resources of the land. Planting crops, building houses

Houses, catching Wild beasts, fishing shrimps, I stole them from nature, this is fair! Those private property are obtained by people's labor and belong only to them. Stealing is of course a crime. Who do you blame?"

----------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- Confucius ate

Confucius was besieged between the states of Chen and Cai. He had no food for 10 days. Sometimes he couldn't even eat wild vegetable soup. He was really hungry

.

The student Zilu stole a cooked piglet. Confucius didn’t ask where the meat came from, just picked it up and ate it; Zilu then robbed someone else’s

He changed his clothes. Confucius didn't ask where the wine came from, he just drank it. However, when Duke Ai of Lu greeted him, Confucius showed the demeanor of a gentleman. He would not sit on the mat if it was not set straight, and would not eat the meat if it was not cut properly.

Zilu then asked: "Sir, why are you different now from when you were trapped in Chen and Cai?"

Confucius replied: "I did that in the past to survive. I’m doing this today for the sake of handouts!”

-------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------Also a deserter< /p>

The enemies faced off against each other. As soon as the war drums were beaten, they began to fight. Soon, one party abandoned their helmets, turned around and fled. Some soldiers

stopped after running away for 100 steps, and some stopped after running away for 50 steps. The soldiers who escaped 50 steps loudly laughed at those who escaped 100 steps:

"Hey, you are afraid of death, you can run away faster than a rabbit!"

Steal a chicken every month

p>

A man stole a chicken from his neighbor every day. Others warned: "This is not what a gentleman should do."

He said: "Then let me steal less first, steal one a month instead, and stop stealing next year." < /p>

The people of Qi boast about themselves

There was a man of Qi who always came back full of food and drink every time he went out. His eldest and youngest wives asked strangely: "Who are you eating with?" He said they were all rich and powerful dignitaries. The eldest and the youngest wives were very suspicious.

Early the next morning, the eldest wife secretly followed her husband to observe. I saw him walking to the cemetery outside the east gate and begging for food and wine after the memorial ceremony. If he didn't have enough to eat, he would go elsewhere to beg. I see!

When she got home, she told her little wife angrily. The two were scolding the husband in the courtyard. But the husband walked home unsteadily and started bragging to them again.

Exchanging sheep for cattle

King Hui of Liang was sitting in the main hall, and someone happened to be walking by with a cow on his highness. King Hui asked: "Where are you taking the cow?"

The man who led the cow replied: "Kill it and smear the bell with its blood."

King Hui said: " Let it go! I can't bear to see its frightened and trembling look. It's so pitiful to kill it like this without any crime!"

The Cowherd asked: "Then Isn’t it necessary to paint the bell?”

Wang Hui quickly said: “How can we not paint the bell? Let’s kill it with another sheep!”