Homophonic Xiehouyu Couplet jokes and crossword puzzles

1. One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because the car shop didn't have Geely's license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess around, right?" !

The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it).

2. A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "Rabbit, shrimp, pig tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! "

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles!"

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" " "

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

3. The coach said, "Class One kills chickens, Class Two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you."

One kind of shooting, the other kind of bombing. Let me show you. )

One day, a foreign friend and I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi.

The beautiful waitress came to ask. Friends always miss any chance to practice Chinese. How much is it to say "sleep" (jiaozi)?

The eldest lady was embarrassed and then angry.

.....

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program" (mustard)

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"It's yellow ..."

Homophonic ancient poems:

1. Wen Tingjun, Yang Liuzhi

A candle at the bottom of a well keeps Lang Changxing from going. (candle indication, expired)

Linglong dice Anhoudou, what do you know about bone acacia?

2. Zhu Yuxi

The willows in Jiang Shuiping are green, and I can hear the songs on the Langjiang River.

Rain in the east, sunrise in the east, said it was not sunny, but it was still sunny. (Sunshine-Affection)

Homophonic couplets:

1. Lotus (pity) is bitter in heart,

Pear-shaped (separated) intra-abdominal acid in children

2. Confucius was born in Zhou (Zhou)

Light dance (martial arts) began in Hanzhong (light dance: lightning; Hanzhong: the sky)

3. Master Gu Shang (monk)

Embroidered in front of the beauty hall (scholar)

4. Lantern lanterns, paper (orange) shells used to be just windproof.

Drum drum, tangerine peel can't knock half (summer)

5. Living in a pagoda, watching Kongming and complaining that it is difficult to travel around the river.

The bird is in the cage, and his mind is in the nest. He hates Guan Yu and can't Zhang Fei.

(Jiang Wei-Jiang Wei, Lu Bu-Lu Bu, Cao Chao-Cao Cao)

Extracurricular crossword puzzles:

1. My heart hurts. Guess the answer is: yes.

2. handbag, guess a word, the answer is: hug

3. The first-class standard, the answer is: Huai.

4. The answer is:

The answer in 5.72 hours is: crystal.

6. A dog has four mouths. Guess a word and the answer is: device.

7. Half a person, guess a word and the answer is: companionship.

8. Talk for half a month, guess a word and the answer is: fat.

9. Always two o'clock, always two o'clock, guess a word, the answer is: caution.

10. Byakki Smoker, guess a word and the answer is: enter.