Give me the funniest joke! I wrote it myself! Don't copy!

In class, the teacher inspired the students to say, "Classmates, the ancients studied very hard. Have you ever heard of the story of' hanging your head'? " "I've heard of it." The students answered in unison. The teacher went on to say, "OK. We must also learn from the ancients. " At this time, a boy raised his hand and reported, "Only girls can learn, but boys can't." The teacher asked in surprise, "Why?" The student replied, "I don't have a braid on my head."

It's claws

"Little darling, tell dad, how much is three plus two?" The father asked his son.

The tutor standing by quickly reached out five fingers, shook the child and said, "Look, what is this?"

"It's claws!"

Same as you do

Dad: "Did you beat the neighbor's children to tears again? Do you know what people will say? "

Son: "I know, they all say that I was exactly like you when I was a child."

Son of a villain

A rogue was walking down the street holding his son's hand. It happened that a funeral procession passed by, and a woman cried and said, "Husband, you are really unlucky!" " They want to send you to a new place, where you sleep without bedding; There is no bread and food for dinner ... "

Hearing this, the rogue's son immediately said to the rogue, "Dad, they are going to send the dead to our house!" "

twin brothers

There is a pair of twin brothers, who are alike in appearance, appearance and dress.

One day, a neighbor came to visit and saw two brothers together. He couldn't tell who was older and who was younger, so he asked, "Little fellow, which one of you is the elder brother and which one is the younger?"

The younger brother didn't want people to know that he was young, so he said, "Brother, don't tell this uncle!" " "

abstract painting

When handing in homework to the art teacher, one student only handed in a blank sheet of paper.

The teacher asked, "What about the painting?"

The student replied, "Here?" He pointed to a blank sheet of paper and said.

Teacher: "What did you draw?"

Student: "Cows eat grass."

Teacher: "What about the grass?"

Student: "The cows are gone."

Teacher: "Where are the cows?"

Student: "The grass is gone, why is the cow still standing there?" "

Hit the target by luck

The teacher wrote "Confused" on the blackboard, and then asked a student:

"Can you tell me what this idiom means?"

The students stood up, pushed the glasses for deep myopia and carefully looked at the four words on the blackboard.

See along while also don't understand, finally he reluctantly said:

"Teacher, I can't see clearly."

The teacher said, "You are right. Please sit down. "

northwest wind

Teacher: Southeast wind blows in summer and northwest wind blows in winter. Please remember.

Student: No, my mother said that she married my father and drank the northwest wind all the year round.

Roman Empire

In Chinese class, the teacher told the students an idiom; "Rome was not built in a day."

In history class, the teacher asked the students questions; "When was the Roman Empire founded?" "at night!"

household affairs

Teacher: Please tell some stories about fierce fighting.

Student: Teacher, my mother said not to tell anyone about family affairs.

a dream comes true

Student: "Teacher, I dreamed that I became a composer. Excuse me, how can I turn my dream into reality? "

Teacher: "Sleep!"

duck

A male teacher said to two noisy female students? Quot Two women's voices are like the cries of a thousand ducks. "

After a while, the teacher's wife came to visit him. One of the female students came to report it.

"Teacher, there are 500 ducks outside the door to see you."

Seems to have understood.

The child has poor grades. Before the exam, his mother took him to the Confucius Temple for enlightenment.

A few days later, the report card was sent, and I still failed English. If mom realizes something,

"No wonder Confucius doesn't understand English."

The King of Animals-Lion or Tiger

"Students, who is the king of beasts?" The teacher asked.

"The director of the zoo." Little John answered.