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Ask for some classic humorous jokes. Thank you QQ: 871617511. Send e-mail. O(∩_∩)O~

7. Old classmates get together to play truth or dare. .

First, a girl got lost and ran to the opposite box and knocked at the door. She asked, "Hello, is Edison Chen there?" ? I'm looking for Edison Chen. It was an uncle who opened the door. He turned black and said, "No". . .

Later, a boy got lost and knocked at the box. He asked, Hello, I'm Edison Chen. Is anyone looking for me? It was Xiaomi who opened the door, only to see his mouth twitch a few times and calmly say, yes, I have just been here, maybe it's Gillian. . .

8. My stomach cramp woke me up early this morning. I looked at the time, it was only 3: 27. Generally, if it is near the morning, I will bear it. . So I looked at the time. So I put on my clothes and went to WC.

Then. Then I was woken up by the mobile phone alarm at 6 o'clock. .

It took 2 hours and 33 minutes. . It is the longest time to go to the toilet in history.

9. A man has been infected with smallpox since he was a child and has a pockmarked face, so he still knows everything in his thirties and doesn't marry a wife.

One day, this guy was walking in the street. Suddenly, a beautiful woman turned around and smiled at him. Just to make him feel comfortable, she followed her.

The woman turned her head three times and smiled five times, intentionally or unintentionally, which made the pockmarked man fall from the sky.

Walking to a small house in the suburbs, the woman stopped and turned around. She smiled and said, "please wait a moment, sir. I'll be right out." The pockmarked man was really proud and nodded in agreement.

After a while, the young woman brought five children out, pointed to Pockmarked, and said, "You children told you to grow vaccinia, but you didn't. If you have smallpox, "you will be like this uncle." "

Destroyed by an egg

There is an old man who has lived for a hundred years, and a prostitute who has only one testicle. The old prostitute died because of excessive action. * * Feeling after inspection: This is the lesson of blood-a hundred-year-old prostitute was destroyed by one egg!

05. A novice went to collect usury. He took out the IOU and smiled and said, "It's written clearly in black and white. You owe me 1 10,000! Do you want to default? " People really don't have that much money, and he threatened: "Hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't pay back the money tomorrow, your house will become like this. " He took out his lighter and burned the loan. ...

08. One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said, "I am too young to fart so smelly." It must be a cow. " The cow said, "I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly." The pig said, "People who fart will blush." Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig open and said, "How many times have I told you, I was born blushing."

09. Ge You invited a friend to dinner and went to the toilet on the way. His trousers were wet when he came back. Friend: "Why are your pants wet?" Ge You: "It's been like this since I became famous." Friend: "Often?" Ge You: "Yes! It is often the person next to you who urinates and suddenly turns around and shouts, "Yo! This is Ge You! "

1 1. The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise scolded in a hurry, "I'll die if I don't fucking come back!" " "At this moment, the snail's voice came from outside the door:" You fucking said I wouldn't go! " "

12. Dad put his son to bed and went back to the bedroom to get ready for bed. "Dad!" Cried the son. "What is it?" "I'm thirsty. Can I have a glass of water?" "You just drank it! Go to sleep, I have turned off the lights! " Five minutes later ... "Dad! I'm thirsty, can't you give me a drink? " "I just said! You let me hit you again! " Five minutes passed ... "Dad!" "What's the matter now?" "Be sure to bring a glass of water when you come to hit me!"

13. At school, one day, Mr. A was going to change his pants in the dormitory. He just took off his belt. Unexpectedly, several female students came in. I had no choice but to carry his pants to the dormitory next door. Just as I unbuttoned the button, I was about to take it off. Unexpectedly, several female students came in, so I had to carry my pants to the door of the dormitory next door. Because he was in a hurry with pants in his hand, he had to kick open the dormitory door and shout, "Is there a woman in it?" Is there a woman? "I saw many girls sitting in the room, looking at him in horror. ...

14. An old man walked slowly in the street and saw a child tiptoe to ring the doorbell, but it was still a little short. So the old man went over and said kindly, "Little friend, let me press it for you." As he spoke, the old man rang the doorbell and didn't let go until he was sure that the people inside could hear him. At this time, the child eagerly said to the old man, "Let's run quickly!" " "

15. The woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. When the kidnapper brought it back, she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: "Let's go, we don't want the car!" " "

17. The ugly man sent ninety-nine roses to his beautiful female colleague. "Marry me! I love you! " Woman: "Forget it! I have no feelings for you. " Man: "Please tell me this is not good, and I will change it." Woman: "What do you like about me? I will change ~ ~ "

18. A brother was constipated and couldn't walk in the toilet for a long time. Just as he was going all out, he watched a buddy rush into the toilet like the wind and enter the next position. Hardly had he entered when there was a real storm. The brother said enviously to his buddy, "The buddy envies you." The buddy said, "I envy you, my pants are still on!" " "

20. A sleeping party in a boy's dormitory lasted until three o'clock in the morning, and suddenly I wanted to discuss a question, "What should I say first when I meet a beautiful girl?" A gentleman woke up from a dream and said, "Stop talking and let's go to bed!" " "

2 1. A naughty student nicknamed the girl in the same class "Fat Pig". The girl cried and complained to the teacher. The teacher promised to criticize and educate the boy. The next day, the teacher spoke in class: "One of our classmates is so rude. Just give other students nicknames, you can't just call them! "

22. I caught the bus in the morning, and when I got to the platform, the bus had already left. So you had to chase and shout, "master, wait for me!" Master, wait for me! " At this time, a passenger leaned out of the window and said to you, "Don't chase Wukong."