I don't want websites and websites, and I don't want to give more rewards to what I see, preferably 100.

One day, the devil took the princess away and she kept screaming.

Demon: [screaming at your throat] ... no one will come to save you ...]

Princess: [broken throat] ... broken throat ...]

No one: "Princess ... I'm coming to save you ..."

Devil: "Speak of the devil and he will come ..."

Cao Cao: "Devil .. Why did you call me ..."

Demon: "Wow ... seeing a ghost"

Ghost: "Shit! Was discovered .. "

Shit: "Ghost, can you see me ..."

Devil: "Oh, my God! 」

God: "Who called me? 」

Who: "Nobody called you ..."

Nobody said, "Where am I? Play dumb! 」

Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me? 」

Who: "It's me again? Are you looking for trouble? 」

Trouble: "which one is looking for me?" 」

Which one: "Looking for you? I didn't ... hey, there are so many people here. "

Many people: "I just arrived. Who are you? 」

Which one: "I'm not who."

Who: "He's not me."

Princess: "Is everyone here to save me? 」

Everyone said, "I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun."

Lively: "What do I have to see? 」

God: "It's none of my business. Let's go first. "

Devil: "You answer a question before you go. Why do so many people save the princess? " ? How can I play this demon king? 」

Go down: "You good devil won't do it, what shall I do?" 」

Princess: "If no one hits the devil, I can go."

No one: "If I play the devil, how can I let you go ..."

How come: "I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the excitement."

Lively: "What are you looking at me for? 」

What: "You want to fuck me? Rogue! 」

How dare you: "I didn't? 」

Me: "What does it have to do with me?" 」

Devil: "Shit! I'm going crazy ... "

Shit: "What am I doing? ...」

Madman: "What do you want me to do? 」

You want me to say, "I don't know anything! 」

I don't know anything: "I don't know! 」

I don't know: "I'm here! Is someone calling me? 」

Someone said, "I didn't call you! 」

I didn't say, "Who called him? 」

Who: "Wrong ... I didn't ..."

I didn't say, "I haven't wronged you ..."

You: "I dare you."

I dare you: "Who says I dare not! ? 」

Who: "please ... I didn't say anything."

I have nothing: "What do you want me to say? 」

I am nothing: "... you ... aren't you my long-lost brother?" ”」

My long-lost brother: "Kao ... my name is very long ... I will be called ..."

Who: "... I want to leave this troublesome place. "

True or false: "So this is my place ..."

I am nothing &; No: "Stop arguing, we are talking ..."

Don't bother us: "I won't talk ..."

I didn't: "I didn't speak! ...」

I have nothing to say: "-_-\ \ \" ... Let's go out and talk ... "

Go: "I'm sorry ... (wriggle)"

I have nothing: "It's none of your business ... Go away ..." (Two brothers go out angrily)

It's none of your business: "Whoops ... why did you kick me out ..."

Why: "I don't want to kick you out ... listen ... don't cry."

I didn't say, "Oh ... What does it have to do with me?"

None of my business: "What? Did anyone call me? 」

Someone said, "Who wants to call you ..."

Who: "I really have to go ... T.T." "

Go: "I'm really embarrassed ... *V.V*"

None of your business: "... aren't you my cousin?" ”」

It's none of my business: "... cousins of the same age (or cousins) ... long time no see ..."

For a long time: "I'm not here ..."

Devil: "Are you finished? 」

Endless: "He doesn't have me."

You: "I don't have him."

I just said, "Who said that? 」

Who: "What do you want me to do? 」

Do you want to fuck me? 」

You: "I won't fuck him."

I said, "Who said I wouldn't? 」

Who: "Wrong! I didn't say. "

He said, "What should I do? 」

? "You two are shameless! 」

You two: "I want it! I want it! 」

Face: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I don't want it."

Devil: "Hurry up, or I'll kick people out."

Man: "Kick me out? Looking for k "

K: "Who wants to see me? 」

Who: "aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name, mention me again! 」

He said, "Don't trust me."

Me: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I finally caught one and killed it ..."

One: "Don't arrest me."

Me: "I've had enough, too. If anyone mentions my name again, I will never let you go! 」

Who said, "Look at my eighteen dragon palms! 」

Me: "Look at my nine yin bones and claws! 」

Eighteen palms of dragon descending: "What am I to see? 」

Jiuyin Bones Claw: "What am I to see? 」

What's there to see: "Brother, I finally found you! 」

What's there to see? "Brother, let's talk outside."

Devil: "Shit ... this is an engagement meeting ..."

It is said that the lich king has suffered from schizophrenia since then.

Do you think this is the end of the joke? In fact, this shows that people are lazy, and this has an ending! Now I'll tell you the ending, don't be moved to tears!

Ending:

It is said that after the devil's schizophrenia was cured, he caught the princess again.

This time, the lich king decided to cut to the chase, to make a long story short, in order to avoid others running out to spoil the game again, and cut to the chase directly. .....

Devil: "Stop struggling! Listen to me and marry me! 」

Princess: "All right! 」

So "I" happily took the princess's hand and walked into the wedding hall, accepting all the blessings, leaving only the demon king with his mouth open like a hippo and his body stupefied ... 6 1| Comments (34)

Expectation in the corner | Level 5 scene 1]

Teacher: To be honest, do you smoke?

Boy a: no.

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

A naturally stretched out two fingers and took it. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ...

[Scene 2]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy b: no.

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

B took the French fries carefully with her palm, because she heard about A.

Teacher: Aren't you going to dip in some ketchup?

B accidentally dipped too much, so he immediately flicked it with his finger. ...

Teacher: The posture of playing ash is very skillful. Call your parents ...

[Scene 3]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy c: no.

Teacher: no, ok, I'll have French fries.

Because of the first two examples, C carefully finished the French fries with sweat.

Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates?

C picked up the French fries and put them in his ear. ...

Teacher: No? Call your parents ...

[Scene 4]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy d: no.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

Eating French fries in fear.

Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates?

D carefully put the chips in his upper pocket again.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming!

D quickly took French fries out of his pocket and threw them on the ground, stepping on them with his feet. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ...

[Scene 5]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy e: no,

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

E just took French fries, and the teacher said, won't you invite me to eat?

E hurriedly handed me the French fries with both hands and then took out a lighter. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents

[Scene 6]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy f: no.

Teacher: Eat French fries.

After the boy F finished eating, the teacher asked: What brand do you like to eat?

Boy F proudly said: Of course: Greater China!

Teacher: Call my parents!

[Scene 7]

Teacher: Eat French fries.

Boy n: no, thanks.

The teacher fainted. 57| Comments (22)

2012-05-0513: 41Xiao Sun | Level 2 philosophy test.

A teacher in the philosophy department took only one question in the mid-term exam.

The topic is "What is courage?"

While everyone is trying to figure out how to write. ...

A classmate handed in his paper ... he didn't write a word!

But he only wrote five words, "This is courage!"

Absolutely! The teacher gave him full marks.

But it must be in the back.

Finally, the final exam. The teacher still only takes one exam.

The topic this time is "This is the topic, please answer".

Isn't that a strange question? I can't write yet.

But the student handed in his paper soon.

What did he write this time?

He wrote, "This is the answer, please give points ..."

The teacher angry but angry call:

"Boy, bad! Come here, I have two questions for you. Answered the first question, you don't have to answer the second ... "

Teacher: "How many hairs do you have?"

Classmate: "12360 1 block"

Teacher: "How do you know?"

Classmate: "There is no need to answer this question."

He got full marks in the final exam again!

The answer that can piss off the teacher!

Title: Although ......

Student: He undressed and put on pants.

Comment: Does he want to take it off or wear it?

Title: Among them

Student: I hurt my left foot.

Comment: Are you a centipede?

Title: One after another.

Student: After work, my father went home one after another.

Comment: How many dads do you have?

Title: Prosperity.

Student: My brother is thriving.

Comment: Son, is your brother a vegetable?

Theme: sadness

Student: There is a ditch in front of my house, which is really sad.

Comment: The teacher is even sadder. ......

Title: Again ... Again. ......

Student: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin.

Comment: Is it your mother ... a deformed diamond?

Title: ... first, then ... second, third, fourth and fifth.

Student: Goodbye, sir!

Comment on writing: Imagination exceeds the wisdom of people on earth.

Title: In addition,

Student: A train passes by, besides, besides. ......

Comment on writing: forget it when I die ....

My deskmate has a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring his handkerchief and has been sniffing it. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted, "That's enough! Stop it! Too noisy! " The whole class was silent. The teacher added, "Who steals noodles in class? What are you arguing about? " ?

Pinch the cock by the neck but dare not go under the knife. After a long pause, I strangled the chicken!

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him any questions, he just shakes his head or answers "No". Have you heard this story?

Women can see the moon and the sun, which is a serious astigmatism to the moon and the sun.

Listen! I want to chase you! I thought you were! I have been looking for you! I will seize this opportunity! I must catch up with you! Dead flies! ?

The teacher said: I want class flowers for two people. So I took a class flower, took a class and chose two most beautiful girls. The teacher said: Go to the Academic Affairs Office to move flowers!

Those who know Cantonese come.

1, marriage registry, a couple to register.

The manager asked the woman, "What's your name?"

The woman said, "I'm Li Jiefen."

The administrator said, "I know you are married, but your family asked what your name is."

The woman said, "I'm Li Jiefen!"

The administrator said, "It's crazy, alas! I'm too lazy to talk to you. What about that guy? What's your name? "

The man said, "I'm Wu."

The administrator said, "Do you dare to say? What a second person! I dare not say my name. Talk to me! What's your name? "

The man said, "I'm talking about Wu Guangjin."

A couple named Li gave birth to a son named Ben. One day, Li Ben suddenly ran away from home, so the couple went to the police station to report the case.

The policeman asked her husband, "What's your name?"

Husband replied: "Li Guangxian"

The policeman asked the woman again, "What's your name?"

The woman replied, "I live in Wugang."

The policeman was furious and said, "Kim, what are you doing here?" "

The couple replied loudly: "stability is Li stupid."

3. The highest level of playing mobile phones

The student asked the professor a philosophical question about life: "Professor, I want to ask, were you angry in the earthquake, angry, and buried?" Is there any difference? "

The professor said, "I'll give you an experiment so that you can get married easily."

So he opened the phone book, casually pressed the phone of a guy named PK and called him. The phone is connected, and the professor presses the zoom button to let the students hear clearly. ...

Professor: "What is Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree?"

PK: "You have the wrong number!"

Professor: "Bie Ye! Tony Leung Chiu Wai Department? "

PK: "You have the wrong number!" Then he hung up.

After that, the professor called immediately. ...

Professor: "What is Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree?"

PK Wang: "One side! You have the wrong number. "

Professor: "What is Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree?"

PK Wang: "Your mother is obsessed with marriage." Hang up again.

The professor told the students, "D is angry! Staying with me makes you angry! "

The professor called again. ...

Professor: "What is Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree?"

PK Wang: "You owe me five elements? I want Tony Leung Chiu Wai to go to China! Your mother ya, if you have the courage, beat Li, bow to me ... ". Say that finish more vigorously swinging the phone.

The professor told the students, "D is anger. Stay with me so that you can get off the field and call it an earthquake! "

Then, the professor dialed another number, and this time it took a while before someone answered. As soon as the phone is connected ...

PK Wang: "Top your lungs! B Your mother ... "When he swore. ...

Professor: "Excuse me, are you from Mi PK?"

PK Wang: "Oh! I'm sorry, because someone played a prank first, and I didn't want to provoke you ... "

Professor: "Never mind. Excuse me, Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree? "

PK Wang: "Wow! Your servant ... "The professor hung up the phone before PK finished this time.

The professor told the students, "D is an earthquake, do you understand?"

The student replied, "I totally understand the sun!" " "

The student nodded: "But ... is Ye Ye in distress situation?"

The professor smiled and dialed the same number again. The other party quickly picked up the phone. ...

PK Wang: "Hey! ! ! You silly boy, do you want to fight wild? "

Professor: "I'm Tony Leung Chiu Wai. Excuse me, is there a phone call for me ... "

Words of blessing

One day, the teacher asked the students to say hello, and Xiao Ming stood up first.

I wish you laugh often, you have to laugh anyway.

I wish you a pleasant journey, disappear halfway and go home without a trace.

Congratulations on making a fortune.

I wish you a prosperous business and getting poorer and poorer.

Have fun every day, leg cramps.

I wish you all the best and hit a wall everywhere.

I wish you good health and all your teeth will fall out.

Have a nice trip and fall down halfway.

I wish you happiness as the East China Sea, and the whole family will jump into the sea.

Have a good life, you are often abnormal.

I wish you an early birth and a natural death.

The teacher fell to the ground.

Xiao Ming: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad: "Silly child, how can you be a silly child?"

Xiao Lou's mother said, "What can I do for you, teacher?" The teacher said, "Yes, your children don't pay attention in class, and they still don't know the initials and finals." Xiao Lou's mother said, "Son, why are you so stupid?" ! Isn't mom your biological mother, and I was your pregnant mother before I gave birth to you? "

Once upon a time there was a man named Shuang.

He is dead.

On the day of the funeral.

Cool ... cool ...

Passers-by were puzzled and asked, "What are you admiring?"

The family burst into tears: "It's so cool ... it's so cool ..."

A foreign language learner accidentally stepped on a foreigner's foot in the street that day. The man quickly said, "I'm sorry," and the foreigner said politely, "I'm sorry, too." Hearing this, the man quickly said, "I'm sorry there." The foreigner asked stupidly, "Why are you so afraid?" The man said helplessly, "I'm sorry."

A lady said to her girlfriend, "I made my husband a millionaire, but now she wants to abandon me." The girlfriend was surprised and sighed: "Then you helped your husband a lot ... What did your husband do before?" ! ? Lady: "A multi-millionaire." "

A family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only their son inside. Mother shouted, "My son is on fire. Why don't you come out?" Son: "I am wearing socks." "What socks were you wearing when the fire broke out?" After five minutes, before my son came out, my mother nervously shouted, "Son, come out quickly. The fire is getting bigger and bigger. Why are you still inside? " The son said, "I'm going to take off my socks!" " "

The funeral home received a body, which was said to have been struck by lightning while climbing a tree, but the administrator was very surprised: "Why are you laughing when you were struck by lightning?" The policeman said, "Because after he climbed the tree, he suddenly saw a flash of lightning and thought someone was filming him ..."

Devil: "God, can I be reincarnated?"

God: "Yes"

Devil: "I don't want to be a devil anymore." I want to be as white as an angel and have wings, but I still want to suck blood. "

God: "well, you can be reborn as a nurse!" " "37| Comments (18)

20 12-07-23 12:44 Uncle Han Xu | Every time I catch a bloodsucking mosquito, I will calm down and give him an ideological education, and then tell him that I can't do this anymore. . . . Slap him to death with the last slap. 1 1| Comments (1)

Report |20 12-08-08 2 1:33 Daily Tu Tu turned to ash | Level 2 1. Which is lower, A or C? A is low because ABCD(A is lower than C) 2. A dying man made a will to his wife: "When I die, I hope you can marry our neighbor, Mr. Ed." The wife was puzzled, so she explained, "Two years ago, the cow that this bastard sold me couldn't milk at all. Now I want him to feel cheated!" Dad told the fish that he was often hungry when he was a child. Fish and fish had tears in their eyes: "Well, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?" My three-year-old daughter often says to me, "Dad, don't you understand what you are planting?" I said, "Yes, you reap what you sow." The daughter said happily, "Then I grow jelly. I want a lot of jelly." The two fathers and sons are violent and never let people down. One day, the father ordered his son to buy meat to entertain guests. When I came back, I met a man who refused to give way at the city gate. After standing for a long time, my father ran over: "Good son, you take the meat first, and I will stand next to you!" " 6- When a swimming pool is built in one place, the staff will mobilize everyone to donate. The staff said to an old farmer, what are you going to donate to this swimming pool? The old farmer said, "I donate two buckets of water!" " Kitten: "My mother is a master and my father is a doctor." . Xiao Xin: "What's the big deal! Kitten: "Who are your parents?" Xiao Xin: "My father is a man and my mother is a woman." "8- A gecko got lost at the gate of the securities company. At this time, a big crocodile just crawled over and prepared to eat it in one bite. In desperation, the little gecko came forward and hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted, "Mom! "The crocodile was shocked, and then burst into tears:" Son, you just lost half a month in stock trading! "At least one day, a pig said to another pig," If all the pigs in the world are dead, then play a song. " The pig said angrily, "At least there is you!" " "10. Can you develop games? A new colleague came to Happy Paradise, who graduated from a famous university majoring in computer science. The bear was envious and asked admiringly, "Can you develop games?" "Yes, I was the president of the student union when I was at school. I often organize various activities. Developing games is too simple. " "What games have you developed?" "Well, for example, now let's learn from rabbits, like ..." 1 1. The global financial crisis led to inflation. Money is becoming less and less valuable. The boss decided to hold a staff meeting to deal with the current problem. "Comrades, because of inflation, money is becoming less and less valuable. Therefore, we used to pay 100 yuan for meals every month, and after research, it was changed to 200 yuan every month. "12. Wolf cubs are born vegetarians. Mother wolf and father wolf racked their brains to train wolf cubs to hunt. Finally, Sirius's parents were happy to see their son chasing rabbits. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit's fierce face and said, boy! Hand over the carrots! 13. In front of the counter of Lamian Noodles Store, a beautiful girl is waiting in line. When she arrived, Master Lamian Noodles asked, Do you want a thick one or a thin one? Girl: I'll eat whatever you pull. 14. A man and a woman had an affair and her husband suddenly came home. The man jumped out of the window and ran away, naked, walking in the street to watch. The man pretended to look at the sky as if nothing had happened: Ah, this is the earth. Passers-by said: aliens with chicken feathers. 15. The big white rabbit Q B ran after the big gray wolf, and the big gray wolf was filled with indignation and chased after him. The rabbit dressed up as a gray rabbit and read the newspaper with glasses. The wolf asked, can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the wolf's little white rabbit? Wolf shame: I'm KAO, so soon? 16. In Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to answer the personality characteristics of a novel character. A classmate loudly replied, "Very manly. 17. The cashier said: No change. Here are two plastic bags for you! 18. A thin man said to the fat man: You are really well-developed, and I am really simple-minded. 19. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... I like myself. 20. Is this blind man blind? Joke examples don't care about the length, sometimes just a few words can have a good effect, such as: 1 A: My two marriages failed. B: What's the matter? The first wife left. How about the second one? She won't leave. Jokes are made up of words. Most of them are short, and people will laugh. Push the door and bump into my daughter chatting naked. We assume that you are the father (I mean hypothetically). What would you do if you came home and suddenly found your daughter chatting naked and pushed the door into her room? ! " Can you guess what her father usually says now? Let me guess, Goldbach. Answer 1: A very unimaginative father would reply, "Absolutely impossible! Because my girl stipulates that I am not allowed to enter the house without knocking! " Answer 2: A more obedient father: "Generally speaking, before I speak, my daughter will growl at me and shout' Get out!'" "Answer 3: grumpy father: I will rush up and shoot her with a folding bench! I won't let her give me this virtue! " Answer 4: A humorous father: "Why don't you turn on the air conditioner? ！” Answer 5: A father who didn't meet for the first time said numbly, "Come out for dinner after chatting." Or "eat first, then finish eating." Answer 6: A panicked father rushed in and pulled the plug. Answer 7: The father of a money addict: "I'm here to collect the management fee. Answer 8: A goat father: "Daughter, how to charge?" Give me a discount? "At night, the minimum requirements for girlfriends in college dormitories, students often talk about their ideal objects at night. One summer night, the air was sultry and abnormal, and it was difficult for a boy to fall asleep in the male dormitory. Let me help you talk about the requirements for your future girlfriend. Xiao Yang is a very cheerful handsome boy and is very popular with girls. He proudly said, "Well, I'll find someone who is 1.6 meters tall, slim and handsome. "Xiao Wu, who is not very handsome, but is the president of the school literature club, said slowly," I don't have high requirements for my girlfriend, as long as I match her, have a gentle personality and have bright long hair. "Xiao Wang is a man of little literary talent, and he is not handsome enough, but he is good at flattering. He sighed and said, "Well, I have the lowest requirements for my girlfriend, as long as it doesn't affect the city." Finally, only Xiao Wu said nothing in the dormitory. Xiao Wu is short and introverted, and his face turns red when talking to girls. Three other people in the dormitory kept encouraging him that he always refused. Finally, Xiao Yang refused: "We all said, at least tell me your minimum requirements for your girlfriend. "Seeing nothing to do, Xiao Wu blushed, huddled under the covers and squeezed out four words:" Female, alive. "An elegant beauty, holding the child ready to get on the bus! When getting on the bus, the driver found that the beauty's child was really ugly, so he said to the beauty, "It's really ugly! "Belle was very angry after hearing this. She gave the driver a hard look and angrily walked to the back of the car! At this time, a man next to Belle comforted her: "Did the driver bully you just now? It's okay. I'll hold this monkey for you. Go get even with him! "Tang Priest: Amitabha Buddha, poor monk Sanzang, visit Guanyin Bodhisattva. I was shocked to hear that Bodhisattva Gui is the director appointed by the Buddha and is choosing a candidate for the role of Buddhist scriptures. The poor monk came to audition. When we met for the first time, the poor monk went to take a bath first and kept the Bodhisattva waiting. I will do my best tonight.