What are the classic jokes in chemistry?

Some rumors about cattle in chemical industry ....

D.H.R.Barton (Imperial College London, London-ICSN, Paris-TAMU, Texas)

Nobel Prize winners discovered the spatial structure of ethane, cyclohexane and alkaloids for the first time, and wrote Barton reaction, Barton free radical coupling, Barton-McCorby deoxygenation and Barton decarboxylation. This man has been a legend all his life. At the age of 60, he was forced to retire by the British in Imperial College London, so he moved to Paris, and then he was forced to retire by the French at the age of 67. He had to go to Texas Agricultural Machinery University and have been working. Real silkworms and silkworms in spring will weave until they die at the age of 79. But in his view, there is no direct connection between scientific contribution and personal temperament. An old professor I know was a doctoral student when he was the director of the Institute of Natural Products of the French Research Center. Going out from work in the middle of the night, I was deeply scratched by the glass, and my blood spilled all over the floor, almost losing my life. The director didn't go to the hospital until three days later, and made a somewhat excessive joke: "Isn't he dead, then it's over?"

E.j. Cory (Harvard)

Nobel Prize winners, the originator of modern total synthesis, have countless reactions to names: Cory Bakshi Chai Tian, Cory Tchaikovsky, Cory fuchs, Cory Kim, Cory Nikora, Cory Winter, Cory Sibach? Another old professor who is close to me told me that when he was there, a doctor was named "nonsense" and was driven out of the laboratory, and he collapsed in the corridor with his experimental notebook ... It turned out that he wanted the Nobel Prize and his temper was earth-shattering.

B. Mr. trost (Stanford)

The author of Tsuji-Trost reaction, with thousands of papers, is known as the king of palladium. I have a classmate who won an Olympic silver medal in the world high school that year, and he struggled there. He wrote an EJOC, an ACS meeting summary and a JACS, and he still doesn't know whether he can graduate this year. On the other hand, everyone on his website is smiling-my tutor has repeatedly criticized the person in my photo for being sad, making her embarrassed to introduce her team when giving a report. Yes, although my project has not made much progress, it can't give people the impression that taking a photo is like being beaten.

Length a. Paget (Ohio)

Classic Forever: A British doctor who just entered the laboratory the day before met a fellow villager in the corridor. He just talked, but he didn't expect to see it. He immediately smiled and pulled Dr. Labo's ear. "Come on, I'll tell you where the test bench is."

K. Nicholas (Scripps)

Also known as KCN, it is known as one of the most difficult countries in the world to complete paclitaxel, and it is said that it only receives funding from Hou Bo. At that time, his students completed the confirmation of the NMR spectrum of paclitaxel around 4: 00 in the morning, called his home at 4: 30, and he immediately jumped out of bed, went to the laboratory at 5: 00, and finished his paper at 7: 00, which made people shudder. Unfortunately, people are not as good as heaven, and both time and productivity are lost to the genius domino rearrangement of R.A.Holton (Florida). It is not as good as the linear synthesis route of P.A.Wender (Stanford) later. Personally, I don't like his synthetic style. In a word, "vulgar". Some colleagues think that he and D.A.Evans (Harvard) can be called the ashes of time in the organic world, and they are bright for a while. But I don't think he is even as good as the young D.W.C Macmillan (Princeton). Total synthesis is not only a science, but also an art.

Nandaniel Shefsky (Colombia)

Some China compatriots nicknamed it "Fat Dan", but it seems that there are many fat people in the United States? Another taxol terminator? It is really fate. It seems that I must be as nervous as they are to finish this project. Intern s told me that he called the lab at ten o'clock every night to make sure everyone was there. By the way, my intern is studying at Harvard, not far from new york. According to the convention among famous professors that "there is a scholar who is laughing, but there is no Ding Bai", the news is highly credible.

South Hanesi (Montreal)

30-year-old, 60-year-old doctor, Canadian organic fieldNo. 1. Old and strong. You set up a chromatographic column, and he comes over every five minutes and asks, "Come on, come on, is the product out?" ? A French doctor was banned by a synthetic company, so he was restricted to drink coffee-logically speaking, he had time to drink coffee and didn't finish the project? It is also said that "suffering comes first, pleasure comes last". Is he really a communist?

Meter (short for meter) Lautens (Toronto)

I was also a colleague of my mentor. The sister who went to Pennsylvania mentioned above was going to be a doctoral student there, but this person agreed and said that she was not funny. After being admitted by G Molander, he flew into a rage again, wrote back that she was not trustworthy, and sent letters to greet her everywhere ... In short, she had a good time. Even an amateur player like me, who is a layman in psychology, can diagnose him: crazy. This is understandable considering that his doctorate was obtained by Trost.

Of course, such professors are not only in North America. Give two more examples:

Page (short for page) Knocher (Munich)

In order to check whether students and students are working hard, this man actually built a villa next to the laboratory and monitored the laboratory at weekends and nights. This is true, as evidenced by our laboratory, Munich native products, Hou Bo, Germany and German interns.

Noun (short for Noun) Wensinger (Strasbourg)

Young, not very famous. Even so, he wanted a friend of my brother's to be a doctor in the laboratory without giving him living expenses. The classic sentence is "People should know what is important and what is not". By generous French standards, there are relatively few such professors. Similarly, considering that he has been in the laboratory of K.C.Nicolaou, a Cypriot, this fact is acceptable. After all, being near Zhu Zhechi is no longer a reason.

Finally, of course, we can't forget a country that has made important contributions to contemporary organic chemistry, Japan. Try to count the reactions of organic names named after Japanese chemists after the war: Noyori(Nobel laureat), Nozaki-Hiyama-Kishi, Yamaguchi, Negishi, Sonogashira, Suzuki, Sageusa, Sakurai, Takai-Utimoto, Tamao, Mukaiyama, Mitsunobu, Miyaura, Ku. I can't help sighing for China people. The gap is the gap.

XXX (Tokyo)

The specific name is unknown. Considering the Japanese tradition, it can be applied to any professor. There is a missing sentence here: his laboratory is adjacent to K.Narasaka. Last year, in order to check the evacuation situation in case of fire, tokyo institute of technology installed a camera in front of the fume hood in each laboratory. Therefore, it is used to monitor students' working hours. But considering the hard work of Japanese students, such as eating and sleeping in the laboratory, or simply sleeping under the experimental bed, can students catch a lot at hand? This move should be aimed at lazy people like me.

Mi (short for meter)) Shibazaki (Tokyo)

One of the 100 most cited scientists in the world. You know, organic is not better than biological, and the influencing factors are generally not high. Chai Qi's existence here is by no means a hollow name. He will give a lecture at the school in September. I am urging my brother to do postdoctoral research in his laboratory on the grounds that the Japanese flower girl is so beautiful? In addition, my brother is particularly interested in East Asian culture, and now he is a little tempted. Ha, it is said that six people there use fume hoods. How can he get out alive?