On social cognitive deviation

Everyone who lives in society is bound to interact and influence others, that is, interact with others. This kind of communication is a process of mutual contact, exchange of information, exchange of thoughts and feelings between people. From the perspective of social psychology, it is the psychological behavior of both sides seeking satisfaction. In social life, individuals are bound to contact with others, thus creating the need for communication. First, people often know themselves through others, which requires communication with others; Secondly, people need to know others, society and social norms through communication with others, so as to realize the socialization of individuals. Therefore, interpersonal communication is an interactive need; We should take every opportunity to express our attitudes and opinions through communication. If there is no communication, the individual's psychological needs can not be met, resulting in psychological diseases such as fear and loneliness; Fourth, in the social life of the same society, people also have the need to exchange information and convey emotions through communication. It can be seen that interpersonal communication is inevitable and necessary. Harmonious interpersonal communication can coordinate people's cognition, emotion and action, enhance people's understanding, unite people and form group norms, which is conducive to the healthy development of individual body and mind and personality. In a society composed of people, everyone participates in this kind of interpersonal activity, but the communication quality of everyone is different: some people are flexible, flexible and popular; While others are short of money, constrained everywhere, struggling, and interpersonal relationships are very tense. The reason is influenced by cultural, social and psychological factors. So, what are the factors that affect interpersonal relationships? I think, as far as psychology is concerned, there is one main point: the influence of cognitive bias. There are two kinds of cognitive biases: self-cognitive biases and others' cognitive biases. Two kinds of deviation of self-cognition. First, overestimate yourself and admire yourself; First, I overestimated myself. Self-contempt and self-humiliation. These two kinds of incorrect understanding of self will affect interpersonal communication. Generally speaking, people are not satisfied with their wealth, but it is easy to appreciate their intelligence. It is narcissists who overestimate themselves and trust their intelligence too much, which leads to arrogance. Despise people who are inferior to themselves, abuse each other, measure people's shortcomings with their own strengths, and set off people's clumsiness with their own cleverness. Or indifferent to what others do and like. Disdain to communicate with it. Who will associate with you if you treat others like this? People just avoid it. You feel lonely in the crowd. Overestimation of oneself will affect communication, and inferiority will also affect communication. Can't see the value of self, belittle self-harm, be timid in dealing with others, and think that this is not good for yourself; That won't do either. I have no opinion of my own. Seeing others blink and act, seeing superiors bow and scrape, and interacting with colleagues, people always feel inferior and are afraid of jokes. When I meet my neighbors, I always lose my mind and get together with my friends. This is actually caused by inferiority complex. Inferiority leads to no self-confidence. If you have no self-confidence, you will despise yourself. If you despise yourself, you will be timid. Look dim, a face of cautious Nuo Nuo. This kind of self-destructive person actually wants to win people's sympathy with his own behavior, but it backfires. People think you are too cheap to associate with you. The cognitive deviation of others is that you judge people by their appearances, treat people with prejudice, follow the crowd, lack opinions, follow the crowd and have no personality characteristics. These cognitive biases have different manifestations in interpersonal communication. Judging a person by his appearance is often the first impression. The first impression is formed when two strangers meet for the first time. This impression mainly comes from the other person's expression, posture, figure, appearance and age. Clothing and other aspects of the impression, it plays a decisive role in understanding people. Social psychology experiments show that people pay more attention to the first impression, but often pay little attention to or ignore the information obtained later. A good first impression will cover up future information and produce a positive superiority effect, thinking that this person is good at everything, so he likes, trusts and approaches him; On the other hand, a bad first impression will pay more attention to its shortcomings in future cognition, and even regard advantages as shortcomings, resulting in a negative superiority effect, while others turn a blind eye to everything, so they reject, alienate and dislike him. This cognitive tendency, which only looks at the surface and ignores the essence, can easily lead to misunderstanding of people, thus affecting interpersonal communication. In life, it often happens that "I have heard his name for a long time, but I haven't seen him", which is also a cognitive deviation of people, which can be called taking people by information. Many times, when the other party has not started to communicate, both parties or one of them has mastered some information of the other party, thus forming a preconceived impression on the other party, which will also cause cognitive bias. Treating people with prejudice often shows halo effect and stereotype effect in communication. Halo effect is an impression, which extends a cognitive object to other aspects without analysis. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is typical. In communication, when people know a person, they will have a prominent impression because of a certain characteristic or behavior of the other person, which will cover up their understanding of other characteristics and behaviors of this person, and then draw a wrong judgment that the whole has only these characteristics. Seeing the wood but not the forest, one is good and the other is bad, which leads to people's cognitive deviation and thus affects communication. Stereotype effect refers to recognizing others with fixed characters. For example, in the eyes of some young people, the elderly are stubborn and conservative, with generalized ideas, too many old rules and a lack of awareness of reform and innovation. When they meet an elderly person, they will consciously or unconsciously classify it into this category; Old people think that young people are simple, naive, inexperienced and insecure. When they meet a young person, they will consciously or unconsciously classify it into this category. This stereotype effect can be simplified if it conforms to the essential characteristics of cognitive objects. Shortening the cognitive process and time will often lead to a certain prejudice in cognition, falling into a small circle of "birds of a feather flock together" and hindering normal communication. Conformity is the phenomenon of establishing one's own views or attitudes according to the views of the majority. Such people lack independent opinions, follow the crowd, follow the crowd, have no opinions of their own, and blindly follow other people's opinions, regardless of whether they are correct or not. Knowing people in this way will distort understanding and affect communication with people. In interpersonal communication, we should know ourselves correctly and others correctly. Only by knowing ourselves and ourselves can we establish harmonious interpersonal relationships. At the same time, we should correctly understand the purpose, content and way of communication between the two sides, otherwise the communication will eventually stop. For example, bad communication motivation, in order to achieve a personal goal, once the goal is achieved, communication activities will end. Second, emotional out-of-control causes interpersonal obstacles.

Emotion is often called the external expression of emotion. It is extremely important in interpersonal communication. Emotion is hidden in the process of communication, which is a silent dialogue of the mind. In communication, if there is no good emotional state, it will directly affect the quality of words. For example, in the case of achieving certain achievements or being envied by others, the color of complacency is beyond words. Whenever others are afraid that others don't know, they are complacent in their words and even teach others how to do it, which often causes others' disgust and is unwilling to associate with them. Getting carried away with others is not welcome, because no one wants to cooperate with arrogant people. Similarly, disappointment leaves a bad impression. Life will inevitably encounter difficulties, setbacks and misfortunes. If a person is full of sadness, then people will think that you are too fragile and lack self-control, and will only give pity or sympathy, instead of sharing your misfortune as a confidant. If you are treated unfairly and angry with others, people will only think that you are superficial and lack connotation, then you will not even get pity or sympathy, but will only get contempt from others. If you express your emotions improperly, it will also affect communication. For example, regardless of the occasion, regardless of the weight of the object, the emotional reaction is too strong, giving people a bad impression such as frivolous, arrogant or impure motives, making people feel frivolous and unwilling to approach you; On the other hand, if a person is indifferent to happiness, anger, sadness, joy or things that can cause emotions, he will think you are indifferent. Just think, a person will always have a pretentious face. Who wants to associate with you? Third, the influence of attitude on interpersonal communication is people's consistent and fixed comprehensive psychological reaction tendency to an object. It is not a psychological process, but a concrete manifestation of all psychological processes, in which cognition, emotion and motivation play a role at the same time. Attitude is formed in interpersonal communication and will also have an impact on interpersonal communication. In communication, attitude causes psychological pressure on one party, because attitude always points to and pours into one object, which is oppressive. If you are kind, sincere and frank, you will feel safe and close; On the contrary, euphemistic attitude, lack of sincerity and arrogance will make people feel a sense of crisis and stay away from it. Some people are self-righteous in front of others and look down on others. Even if they want other people's things, they show a gesture of testing others. In the long run, it will only cause resentment of others; Others lack sincerity. For example, judging others blindly blowing sticks and flattering, blowing the camera with all their strength, or doing one thing in front of another, makes people feel hypocritical; Some people only like to listen to good words, and they are disdainful or even dissatisfied with criticism and opinions. This kind of communication attitude. Who dares to get close to you when others avoid it? 4. The influence of language on interpersonal communication. In interpersonal communication, the most commonly used and basic means is language. Because of phonetic differences or semantic ambiguity or improper language structure, it will hinder interpersonal communication. In the process of using language to communicate, language expression also has a great influence on communication. If some people talk with guns and sticks, knock and beat, or be sarcastic, deliberately make things difficult, or cruel; Others speak in rhetorical language and so on. Talking like this will often arouse people's disgust, and sometimes it will bring quarrels and even adverse consequences. No matter how "tofu heart" you are, a "knife mouth" can hardly make you establish a harmonious interpersonal relationship with others. V. Influence of Personality on Interpersonal Communication Personality, also known as personality in psychology, refers to the sum of the conscious tendency of a specific individual and the relatively stable psychological characteristics that often appear under certain social and historical conditions. Including a person's interests, hobbies, thoughts, beliefs, world outlook, personality, temperament, ability and so on. Everyone has his own personality, and interpersonal communication is influenced by personality quality. In communication, one is enthusiasm and frankness. Noble, upright and friendly. Likable, people are easy to accept him and associate with him; On the contrary, a cold, hypocritical, selfish, treacherous and despicable person will be boring, so people will avoid him and alienate him. For a person who is duplicitous, duplicitous, out of nothing, jealous, slandering and gossiping, and an honest, upright and sincere person, people obviously prefer the latter and are more willing to make friends with them. It can be seen that good personality traits are easy to establish harmonious interpersonal relationships, while bad personality traits will affect normal communication. But just because people have personality differences in temperament and interests doesn't mean they have nothing in common. For example, two people with the same literary hobby have different personality characteristics, but if they have a sound psychology based on the same literary hobby in communication, and put different personality characteristics in a secondary position in communication, seeking common ground while reserving differences, then both sides will feel happy and even become bosom friends of each other. If the two sides abandon their similarities and accuse or argue with each other in personality quality, this will not only make the relationship between the two sides rigid, but even turn against each other. You don't like others, you are not interested in others, and others don't like you and are not interested in you. Austrian psychologist Alf Adler said: It leads to emotional alienation between the two sides, and emotional alienation is easy to cause estrangement. With the barrier, you will naturally be out of place, so you will feel more isolated, and of course you will not get the relationship and help from others and become an irrelevant loner. From the above analysis, we can easily see the profound influence of psychological factors in interpersonal communication. In order to study, work and live happily, it is necessary and necessary for us to establish harmonious interpersonal relationships with the people around us. The premise of establishing good interpersonal relationship is to respect others. Gaining the respect of others is one of the basic spiritual needs of people. In communication activities, everyone is eager to get respect from others. Respecting others means understanding others. "Understanding can win people's hearts." With understanding, communication has a foundation. If the two sides lack mutual respect, there will be no understanding or even misinterpretation, which is obviously not conducive to communication.