Who can tell me the story of 19 earthly wonder?

Brush plum

Everyone on the dock is playing hardball. Craftsmen rely on their hands to have unique skills. Have unique skills, eat meat, light cigarettes, and stand in the middle of the street; Incompetent, vegetarian, depressed, stand aside. Who didn't make this set? It's a living method on the dock. The attention of singing a big drama broke into Tianjin pier. Tianjin people are fascinated by and understand opera, with sharp eyes and sharp ears. The play was well sung and the audience applauded. Like meeting the emperor, many famous actors sang red and purple in Tianjin. But if it's normal, there's nowhere to go, and singing will be ruined. There must be a hiss at the bottom, and the cradle of the tea bowl can't get up; Tea leaves are covered with costumes and beards. There is no better place to see a play than Tianjin. Don't say bad, but also cultivate a lot of capable people. In all walks of life, there are several living immortals who are good at keeping the sky. Brick carving Liu, clay figurine Zhang, kite Wei, machine king, brush Li, etc. Tianjin people like to associate the surnames of such people with the businesses they are good at. The name is long, but no one knows it. This is the only nickname, loud and clear on the dock.

Brush Li is a master of a construction factory on Hebei Avenue. Just draw one line and do nothing else. If he draws a room for you, don't leave it in the room. Sitting alone will be as beautiful as ascending to heaven. The most amazing thing is that he will wear a black suit when brushing the pulp, and there will be no white spots on his body after finishing the work. Do not believe! He also made a rule for himself that as long as there are white spots on his body, white brushes don't cost money. If he didn't have this ability, wouldn't he be hungry all the time?

But this is a legend. People don't believe everything Those who have never seen it don't believe it, and the industry is angry and doesn't believe it.

One day this year, Li accepted an apprentice named Cao. The beginning of being an apprentice is to serve tea and water, light a cigarette and carry things behind your ass. Of course, I have long heard of Master Cao's unique skills, and I have always been dubious. This time, he must see it with his own eyes.

On that day, I went out to work with my master for the first time and went to Workshop South Road in the British Concession to brush cement slurry for Li Xinjian's villa. When I got there, I chatted with the person in charge, only to know that the master was full of style. Photos? Is there a problem with the tomb, maid and plaque? ⒕𖲧𖲧𖲧𖲨𖲨𖲨𖲨𖲨𖲨𖲨𖲨𖲨? Is the capsule pepper drop man? ごᅹ? What happened to the gray spring? Burn? Editing? 4┥ What are the risks? Leg string bright saddle grab? Xian Xia Ji I? Br> One room, one roof and four walls. Paint the roof first and then the walls. It's particularly difficult to brush. Who can't drop a drop when the brush dipped in thin powder slurry goes up at once? If you drop it, it will definitely fall on you. You can finish it with one brush, but you won't dip it. But when the brush crosses the roof, it is even and solid, white, bright and refreshing. Some people say that the dipping arm is swinging leisurely, and the game is accompanied by drums and piano sounds. Every time I brush, the long brush with pulp thumps on the wall, which sounds nice. In the crackling sound, the walls are seamlessly connected, and the wall brushed in the past really seems to open a white barrier. However, Cao is most concerned about whether there are white spots on the brush.

Brush plum work is also regular. Every time he finishes painting a wall, he will sit on a stool for a while, smoke a pack of cigarettes, drink a bowl of tea, and then paint the next wall. At this moment, Cao took advantage of the opportunity to pour water and light a cigarette for the master, and carefully searched the whole body of brush Li with his eyes. After painting every wall, he looked for it again, but he didn't even find a sesame-sized powder spot. He really feels that this black dress has a sacred majesty.

However, when Li sat down after painting the last wall and Cao lit his cigarette, he saw a white spot on his trousers, the size of a soybean. Black in white is more striking than white in black. It's over! Master revealed that he was not a fairy, and the mountain-like image in the past collapsed. But he was afraid of master's embarrassment, afraid to say or look, but he couldn't stop glancing at it.

At this time, Li, who was brushing, suddenly said to him, "Little Three, have you seen the white spots on my pants?" . You think the master's ability is fake and his reputation is deceptive, right? Silly boy, you take a closer look-"

Li's fingers brushed his trousers and gently lifted them up. The white spot disappeared immediately, and then when he let go, the white spot appeared again. Strange! He put his face together and looked at it again. That white spot turned out to be a small hole! I accidentally caught fire while smoking just now. The white underwear inside is exposed through a small hole, which looks exactly like the white spots falling from the starch paste!

Brush Li looked at Cao's puzzled look and smiled: "Do you think people's fame and fortune are all empty? Then you are lying to yourself. Learn technology well! "

On the first day of Cao's career, I'm afraid others will never understand what they have learned!

Dead bird

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Tianjin Wei's people are so playful that many people have nicknames. Some people's nicknames are called face to face, and some people's nicknames can only be said behind their backs, depending on how they come from. Where there are nicknames, there must be funny stories; But the story is different from the story. Some stories can be told as jokes, and some stories can't be told indiscriminately. Bihow Daotai, a colorful nickname, is a dead bird.

He Daotai looks ordinary and is a little pig. But a wise mind keeps your mouth shut, but you can hide it in the dark. He has two abilities, one is to serve the boss, and the other is to serve the birds.

Serving the boss is a very special achievement. Follow the boss's ass all day, neither slow nor tight. If you follow too slowly and can't get up, let the boss worry; If you follow too closely, you may not step on your boss's heel, but you will annoy him. Besides, chasing a puppy like that is not enough. You should be good at reading words and feelings, know the boss's temper, and know when to say and when not to say it; Obey when taught and nod when scolded. It's your fault that the boss is not allowed to swear, sometimes it's just the boss's anger and comfort. If you can't control your temper, frown and pout, and show your troubles, please ask your boss to remember. Since then, the immortal has not become bigger, but smaller-this kind of thing is not done by people, but He Daotai is handy and does it calmly and naturally. People say that He Daotai's ability comes from his nature, saying that he was born a boss's angry basket, a donkey, and he couldn't kick a fart with three feet, right?

After that, he served the boss, and then he served the birds.

Serving birds is another achievement. Don't think that if you put a bird in a cage, put some rice, give some worms and add some water, you can bounce around. A bird has the habit of closing its eyes and flapping its wings. Birds have a bird's temper. If you don't follow it, you won't sing, scream, move, and be exhausted. People say that on the stage of He Daotai, it must be a bird in the whole life. He knows birds like the back of his hand, no matter what they are. His hands are chubby, his hair is shiny and lively, and his voice is better than that of a singer in Tianfu Tea Garden.

On the second day of the long summer, Mr. Lin, who works in Changguan, came back from his hometown in Changzhou, Jiangsu Province and brought him a myna. This kind of starling has a round belly, thick legs and hard claws, black body and golden mouth; Shouted, standing in the street can also hear clearly. He Daotai said with joy, "The cock's voice is not that loud."

Mr. Lin said with a smile: "Even economists are hard to speak. Learning is always difficult. I can't teach anything, but sometimes I learn from him accidentally. However, once I am in your hands, I will definitely have a good future. "

He Daotai also smiled. He said, "In three months, I will make it say Allegro."

However, this starling is like a fierce horse, which is extremely difficult to tame for a while. He Daotai tried his best, but he couldn't learn. He Daotai scolded it: "Stupid bird." The next day it called "stupid bird" for one day. Make it stop. It won't stop. You can hear clearly in the front yard and backyard, and you can't sleep in the afternoon. He Daotai covered the cage tightly with a lid for more than half a day, and it stopped barking. At night, my wife was afraid of suffocating it and asked the maid to take off the lid. As soon as he appeared, he said to his wife, "Is it a rash?" The wife was startled. On second thought, isn't this what the master said to her the other day? I learned it by accident. Let my wife giggle for a long time. He Daotai came back and told his master. Before she could let myna say it again, myna herself said, "madam, it's prickly heat!" "

He Daotai grinned and said, "This thing even imitates my voice."

The wife said, "I didn't expect this bad thing to be so clever."

Since then, He Daotai has taken special care of it. After a long time, it did learn the words "say hello to adults", "please sit down" and "go away", but it was hard to say. However, a few words of "prickly heat" said by the old lady Taiping popped up, which made the guests laugh and laugh their heads off.

The magistrate said, "Lord He, you can see how smart you are."

He Daotai is proud of this bird and even more proud of himself. Press this for the time being

On the ninth day of September, the Jade Emperor Pavilion outside Dongcheng was "kept for nine days", and the people of Jinmen went to the pavilion as usual, commonly known as "climbing the mountain in 1999". At this time, the sky is crisp, and when I look up, I feel comfortable and unobstructed. On this day, Yulu, governor of Zhili, also came to the Jade Emperor Pavilion. He was in a good mood and climbed up the narrow and steep stairs to the top of Qingxu Pavilion. All the officials accompanying him cheered him up before and after running. He Daotai is naturally among them. He pointed to the sails at the mouth of Sancha River and said some interesting words, which made Lord Youlu be elated. Coming down from the cabinet, He Daotai said that his home is not far away, and I hope that adults can visit him. Adult Yu will never condescend to visit his subordinates' homes on weekdays. But today, I was in high spirits and agreed. He Daotai's sedan chair cleared the way in front, and other officials followed, riding a dragon and a tiger.

He Daotai's myna cage hangs in front of the living room window. As soon as Yu entered the door, he called, "My Lord, please be quiet." The voice is loud and clear, and it has reached Yulu's ears.

Adult Yu became more and more cheerful and said, "This thing is smarter than people."

He Daotai replied, "It's because the adults are here. What do you usually call it, it won't say. "

When the tea was served, myna suddenly called out again, "This tea is before tomorrow."

Lord Yu was shocked and turned to the starling in the cage and said, "This is all your fault. What time is it now? How can there be tea before tomorrow? "

The boss teased and the boss laughed. The living room was full of laughter, and they all laughed at myna for being a fool.

He Daotai said, "Your Excellency really hit the nail on the head. Actually, I didn't teach this. This thing always comes out from time to time. I don't know where it came from. "

The magistrate said with a smile, "On weekdays, it's not that the speaker is unintentional, but the listener is intentional. Presumably, Lord He always drinks good tea, and he remembers all the tea names! "

Yulu smiled and said, "If there is any good tea, please ask Yulu to try it."

Everyone laughed again. But myna heard the word "Yulu", and suddenly her wings shook, and she stood up all her black hair. She was very angry and shouted loudly and brightly, "That bastard Yulu!"

The hall was crowded with people. In fact, everyone has heard this sentence. At the moment of shock, myna added: "That bastard Yulu!" "Speak clearly and simply. Yulu suddenly shook his hand, pulled all the tea bowls on the table to the ground and shouted angrily, "How presumptuous! " "

He Daotai hurriedly fell to the ground, his voice shaking so badly that he couldn't hear: "I didn't teach it-"The words stuck here. He thought that Stalin's words were exactly what he often said after he came back from Yulu, where he felt depressed. Why do you remember it? Didn't this kill him? He was cold all over.

By the time he understood, Yuru and all the officials had left. Alone on the living room floor, he suddenly jumped up and rushed to myna, shouting, "You ruined me! I tore you, you dead bird! "

He grabbed the cage with both hands and pulled too hard. The cage was torn open and the birds flew out, but he didn't catch any. Myna flew out of the window and landed in the tree. I actually learned what He Daotai just said and shouted at him: "Dead bird!"

He Daotai told his servant to hit with a pole, cut with a brick and climb up the tree to catch it. Myna jumped back and forth on the top of the tree for a while and kept calling, "dead bird!" Dead bird! Dead bird! " Finally, I flew away with my wings and soon disappeared.

Since then, He Daotai has been nicknamed "dead bird". And when people pass on this nickname, it is always accompanied by this story.