High score ~ please tell me some cold jokes

1. A male deer, it walked faster and faster, and finally it became a highway (deer)! ! ! !

2. Two tomatoes crossed the road, and a car sped by. One of them couldn't avoid being squashed, and the other tomato pointed to the squashed tomato and laughed: dig hahaha, ketchup ...

3. The wolf said, "I'm going to eat you! ! ！” Guess what?

As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

4. The stone fought with the rice cake, and the stone kicked the rice cake into the sea ............

Once upon a time, there was a couple who committed themselves to military service, so they made a vow with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and promised to meet her three years later today. At that time, the ring was taken as. But she couldn't wait. She was heartbroken. Desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and went away from home. However, the boy had been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date place, so it became a regret forever. The boy was heartbroken ... After a few years, the boy went fishing. Guess what he caught?

rice cakes! ! !

5. Is the dumpling a boy or a girl

The answer is that the boy has a wrapper

6. There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, he was hit by a car, and he shouted, "Gung! "From then on, he became a cucumber! !

7. The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so it stretched out its hand and scratched itself, and burned itself to death …

8. Once upon a time, there was a bird

who passed a cornfield every day

but unfortunately

one day there was a fire in that cornfield

All the corn turned into popcorn

After the bird flew over …

When buying instant noodles

1. Asun and appa have nothing to chat about and time waits for no man.

A Song: "Recalling my childhood, I enjoyed Children's Day the most."

appa: "Youth Day will be in ten years."

A Song: "Father's Day is in ten years."

appa: "it will be the festival for the elderly in a few decades."

A Song: "In a few decades."

A Bo: "Tomb-Sweeping Day."

11. Soldiers: "Thirst ... Thirst ..."

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember that there is a Meilin nearby, and it may be there in a short walk.

Soldiers: "Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh!" The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? At last, there is water to drink.

Soldiers: "If you don't go, you must find plums ..." 12. A girl was lovelorn, and I advised her: "Toads with two legs are hard to find, but men with three legs are plenty!"

13. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid boy?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

14. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why didn't they say hello? (assuming they can talk)

because ...............

because ...............

because they are all unfamiliar ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

15. Question: How to make sparrows quiet?

answer: press it.

reason: silence (silence).

16. A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! ! ！” The college student answered the enemy's words and was electrocuted ...

He said, "I'm from RTVU!" "

17. A: "I'll take you to a place where all the girls don't wear bras."

b: "really? Where is it? Take me quickly! "

a: "it's in the kindergarten next door!"

18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of Happy Dictionary, interviewed a program audience and asked, "Which hostess do you admire most in your mind?" The audience said, "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked, "Why do you say that?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"

19. Do you know what color Spider-Man is?

red, wrong!

It's white.

I don't believe you read spider man's English: Spiderman (white man)

2. Why did Xiao Ming fall down?

please think twice ................................

Because the floor is slippery.

21. A group of animals rushed into the 7-11 convenience store to buy things after the PARTY. Because it was too noisy, they were all beaten out by the clerk, but they left the lamb alone in the store. Why?

convenience stores don't close for 24 hours .........

22. Glasses and coffee cups cross the road together, and suddenly someone shouts: Here comes the bus!

As a result, the glass was hit by a car, but the coffee cup was fine. Why?

coffee cups have ears!

23. A horse said that our company grandly launched a new product, Ass 3, or MP3 for short ...

24. I hate two kinds of people most:

First, there is racial discrimination;

second, black people;

three is illiterate!

25. I would like to thank madoka ozawa, Ran Asakawa, Ai Nagase, Ryoko Mitake, Maria Takahashi, Kawamoto Dance, Youmu Pupil, yuki Xiamu, Naomami Qinchi, Shiraishi, Kudo Kwai, Makoto Kosanai, Misui Kishida, Tomoji Nishida, Masayoshi Zei, Ayaka Fujisaki and Yeshan. When my spirit was at its worst, they came to comfort me at the right time; When I am exhausted from playing CS, it is they who make me feel unobstructed pleasure; When I was in a low state and didn't feel anything, they made my spirit HIGH ~ < P > 26. Now the accuracy of earthquake prediction has really improved a lot. This time, there are only two words: the prediction is in Heilongjiang, but the result is in Jiujiang!

27. Jane Zhang said, "My fans say my idol is Ying"

He Jie said, "My fans say my idol is Jie"

BiBi Zhou said, "My fans say my idol is Chang"

Chris Lee said, "You talk, I'll go first!"

28 .. Five Fuwa get together to chat.

Beibei suggested: Let's give ourselves a nickname. I'll call it Beva!

Jingjing: Then my name is Jingwa!

huanhuan: my name is huanwa!

Nini: My name is "Niwa"!

Yingying stood up and said: You chat, I have something to do, so I have to go first ...

In 258, the five Fuwa got together to chat again.

Beibei: Let's talk about our nicknames again. People respect me very much and call me "Bei Ye"!

Huanhuan: People call me "Huanye"!

Nini: People call me "Grandpa Ni"!

Yingying: People call me "Yingying"!

Jingjing stood up and said: You talk, I have something to do, so I have to go first ...

29. When the winter came, I decided to keep the habit of taking a cold shower, but after washing, I found myself back to my childhood! ! !

3. celery was walking, and suddenly he felt a pain in his stomach. Then he booed. What did you say he pulled out? That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery (vegetable) dung?

answer: yellow

because: Qin Shihuang (yellow celery excrement)