Classical jokes of modern China

1. What funny jokes are there in classical Chinese? 1: There was a fish called Kun Kun in the north of Ming Dynasty.

One pot can't be stewed.

Turn it into a bird, called Pumbaa-sized bird.

We need two barbecue grills.

A polysaccharide and a slightly spicy.

Have a bottle of snowflakes.

Let's face the world bravely.

2. An official sitting in court occasionally farts and says "refreshing". Officials don't know, and they mistakenly think that they are rewarding officials, hoping to win their favor. They knelt down and said, thank you for your reward!

3: The monkey died, saw Hades and asked for a replacement. Wang said, "If you want to be a man, you must pull out all your hair." He's the one who told the hag to do it and pulled out one. The monkey is in great pain. Wang smiled and said, "Bastard, how can you be a man without money?"

4. Isn't it a pleasure to have friends come from afar and whip them dozens of times to drive them away from the hospital?

5. Confucius said: It's not appropriate to hit with bricks. It depends on your face. You can't shout any more. Your right hand is almost finished with your left hand, and the brick is almost broken with your shoes. You are dying, but you are not dead. How can you be alone with your friends? It's an honor.

Classical Chinese is a processed written language based on ancient Chinese. The earliest written language based on spoken language may have been processed. Classical Chinese is an article composed of written language in ancient China, mainly including written language based on spoken language in pre-Qin period. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, no articles were invented to record characters, but bamboo slips, silks and other things were used to record characters, and silks were expensive, bamboo slips were huge and the number of words recorded was limited. In order to record more things on a roll of bamboo slips, unimportant words were deleted. Later, when "paper" was used on a large scale, the habit of using "official documents" among the ruling classes had been finalized, and the ability to use "classical Chinese" had evolved into a symbol of reading and literacy. Classical Chinese comes from vernacular Chinese, characterized by writing based on words, paying attention to the use of allusions, parallel prose, and neat melody, including strategies, poems, words, songs, stereotyped writing, parallel prose and other styles. The classical Chinese in modern books are generally marked with punctuation marks in order to facilitate reading and understanding.

2. Classical Chinese funny sentences 1. Haha, Mulan flies a plane. What plane does she fly? Boeing 747.

I resigned from Beijing last year and lived in Tokyo, where I was ill. There was no music in Tokyo, and Sima Guang was not heard at the end of the year.

3. Money is what I want; Beauty is what I want. You can't have your cake and eat it, and those who give up money for beauty are also.

I don't leave my grandfather here, I have my own place to leave my grandfather, and I don't leave my grandfather anywhere. I will go to the railway.

I was sick when I was a child, not when I was nine. Alone, as for the establishment of a new China. There are no handsome guys, and finally there are beautiful women. The door is weak and thin, and there is a rest at night.

Liu Suying's illness is often in the sky. Chen Shi urine soup, never expired.

7. Be soft when you catch the sacred dynasty; Li Kui JY, the former satrap, loved Fang La more. From the Secretariat in Leslie Cheung, a courtier and a slave.

8. The imperial edict is strict, and I am in charge of Altman. The whole universe forced me to hang myself. I must obey.

9. I can live for a hundred years without my grandmother; Grandma can live for a thousand years without a minister. Mother and son can't compare with turtles.

10. Chen Mi has two out of twenty this year, and Grandma has nine out of ninety this year. Please forgive my affair.

3. Ask a few funny ancient poems to be translated into modern Chinese. 2. What do you sleep? Get up and say hello-the days are short and the nights are long. Why not swim by candlelight?

3. Being rich is willful-a family has a daughter, and the decision is in the heart. What you said is so reasonable that I have nothing to say-you love half the sky, you love half the sky, you love half the sky, you are drunk, and strangers are entangled. Who can tell the truth in a thousand words and share joys and sorrows? 5. The person I like doesn't like me-my heart is facing the water and my heart is facing the mountain.

6. I just want to be a quiet and beautiful man-the world is 3 thousand prosperous, I am paired with wine peach blossom, and I am not defeated by red bean cinnabar between my eyebrows. 7. Don't talk nonsense-don't make noise.

8. I'm drunk, too-I poured a cup of makeup, a cold and two creams. 9. I take you, you take the money-hold your hand and take your axe.

10. I don't read many books, so don't lie to me-I dreamed of the Yellow River every day, and you painted landscapes on sleeve paper. That day, you crushed the agarwood of Chang 'an's poems, and the result was just a flower in the mirror. 1 1. Despair in this world of looking at faces-what's the use of love words? It's better to pour the country and exquisite, and it's better to be beautiful and return to your dreams.

12. The picture is so beautiful that I dare not look at it-the moon is locked in a cage and the agarwood is in the picture. There is still some sand between young people's eyebrows, and I have retired from the Buddhist temple, not covering my youth.

13. I can't talk to you-frogs can't talk about the sea, and summer insects can't talk about ice. 14. Come here, I promise I won't kill you-how dare I turn around and see the tears in your palm, breaking my inner peace, your desolate love-hate relationship.

15. You have a big face-your forehead can be used for horse racing. 16. If you don't do it, you won't die-if you go to Yaota, you won't die. How can you resist going to Elysium and falling into Buddha?

17. Say the important things three times-read them repeatedly and remember them by heart.

4. Funny China ancient novels and modern novels ~ Hey, my man by the brown sugar water.

One is a rookie who has never been in love once, and the other is a sinister gigolo who is obsessed with love history. Where did they end up? I told Qin Ke that you should be nice to me, or I would have an affair. Qin Ke said quietly, you are not beautiful, your mind is not bright, your body is not diligent, and you will fall off the chain at a critical moment. Are you sure there's anyone over there after you get out of the wall? I see, yes. He smiled and said, I like you, but others don't smell like me, so you have to listen to me, you know? I focused on his first clause and nodded happily. It took me a while to realize that the original intention and result of my negotiation with him had run counter to each other.

(Very funny. I finished reading it on the table. It's a pity that the man is second-hand ~ ~ not sad, the middle part seems to be called abuse)

I can't stand Xianggong's impudence.

To put it simply, she is timid. Frankly speaking, she wants to live a plain life. So, she sincerely promised to "follow her father at home and marry her husband." Get married, get married. On the first day, I became the laughing stock of the whole surging stream. First time, no ... no experience. On the third day, the whole city asked her husband to take a concubine. That's it, sister-in-law, good! On the sixth day, the kind-hearted aunt and sister sent poison soup. Sisters are so intimate, how can they not drink? Besides, this medicine bowl is so beautiful that you can copy it after drinking it. On the tenth day, "xianggong" wants to divorce his wife. Run back to the woodshed, take a small bag, ride a small ladder and climb out of the fence. "Ah, telegram! ! -I am.-Seven Nights for Jia Yun! ! "Only this, one voice. The world has been chaotic since then; Rivers and lakes, there is no peace from now on.

(funny. The ending is a bit abusive and there is an ending. I just finished reading it recently, which is very touching. )

Diary of a poor woman

The author is lazy and the copy is worthless.

Very funny, not abusive.

The red flag does not fall, the colorful flag flutters and is magnificent.

It was a little abusive at first, but fortunately, the man was not the first one to appear.

The same author as the above-mentioned author vowed to carry out the unrest to the end.

Nothing in online games has long been abused.

Completely different from Guda's style, maybe not very interesting, but very warm.

Crossing the sky, one step of thunder and crossing the legend of Wulin

All the books on Monday are guaranteed in quality.

The moon is like a hook in a cloister.

The man is a little evil, and the woman's pig is always in convulsions (it seems that there is still a moon missing, which is not so funny. What happened after the article disappeared for a month)

I'm waiting for you with a thousand faces.

Funny little uncle is a fake man, not a close relative.

Very funny, I don't know why few people recommend it.

Sunset, I am Kangxi's grandmother.

It doesn't seem that Kangxi is very entangled in the male master, involving past lives.

Funny, not abusive (it seems to be reincarnated together after Kangxi III), mention the author's sleeveless fragrance, and then recommend it.

Mud can also be pasted on the wall to surprise the birds on the moon.

Sleeveless fragrance Su Su refined dragonfly Shu Ke's books are all guaranteed in quality (Shu Ke and refined dragonfly's books are not funny, so you can choose).