A humorous joke told to his girlfriend.

Humor is characterized by making people laugh, making people happy, joyful and cheerful. Applying this feature to social life will achieve amazing results. I collected some humorous jokes for you to tell my girlfriend. Let's have a look.

A selection of humorous jokes told to my girlfriend

1) What is really terrible is not casting pearls before swine, but a group of cows are casting pearls before swine.

2) I have been worried about you recently. I wish you hard. I wish you charm and hard work; Do things with courage, make a fortune and make profits; Love is beautiful and life is really smooth. Work hard towards happiness and wish you a happy mood!

3) Cold Monday, Braised Tuesday, Steamed Wednesday, Fried Thursday, Stir-fried Friday, Happy Seasoning, Leisure Wine, I will cook a blessing dinner for you this weekend, and I am willing to enjoy it happily.

4) People have lived all their lives. Don't be too cold in winter, too hot in summer, don't pretend to be poor if you have money, and don't show off if you have no money. Smile rather than frown. Friends often remember, happy life!

5) Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: Is the beauty unlucky?

6) The mouse fell in love with the cat and sang: I love you, I love you, just as the mouse loves rice, no matter how many storms, I will still accompany you. Cat: Don't be vain. My mother said that love without marriage purpose is hooliganism!

7) Lovers should be gentle as water and sweet as honey, colleagues should be diligent and have no temper, and friends should have a runny nose, so, dear, wipe your nose in the New Year and have a clean New Year!

8) Napoleon: I can't find it in my dictionary? Missed it? These three words.

9) Eat watermelon to cool down and refresh yourself. Beauty beauty is a cucumber, and Qingchang Diuretic is a wax gourd, the sweetest cantaloupe. You are family with them. Why are you hiding underground? So you are a sweet potato.

10) In order to spend money, you fell in love with making money. Because it is difficult to make money, I dare not spend money. My friend, I know your difficulties. I come to wish my friend a prosperous business and a successful career. Congratulations on getting rich!

1 1) does not require my marriage conditions, but only the appointment time: not for one day, not for two days; Not sunny, not raining, not cloudy; Not on weekdays, not on holidays; Not on the first day, not on the fifteenth; Spring and autumn are absent, winter and summer are absent; When shall we meet? Hehe, you know what?

12) Xiaoling thinks: this is easy to handle. Just open another hole and let the water flow out. So he made another hole in his sole with scissors. If the water in the rain boots accumulates more and more.

13) The child came to his mother crying, and her mother asked, What's the matter, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.

14) cherish life-if God keeps you alive, you must have his plan.

15) I dare not call you when I miss you, for fear of hearing your voice; Sadly, I always miss you, but I can't always stop calling. So, I excitedly picked up my mobile phone and dialed the phone for you. Hello? Why not you? Dizzy! It turns out that my mobile phone is in arrears!

16) once, the bus was ready to leave, and a woman with heavy makeup was chasing after it. Master, master, don't go, wait for me. Later, the bus master suddenly said, I am in a hurry to be reborn, and the banshee quickly evades, so don't miss the good opportunity to return to China! Then I drove the car forward!

Humorous jokes that boutique tells his girlfriend.

1) Your way of speaking is called pull-in rhetoric.

2) As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

3) If someone pursues it, there is no woman in the world who is not on cloud nine. This is why women are so charming.

4) One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally, one day you can't help but announce loudly in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

5) I like rainy days, I like to listen to the sound of rain hitting bananas, I like to watch roses swaying in the wind, and I like to watch your charming gesture of stroking your long hair in the drizzle. It won't kill you!

6) Do you think you look good in person or in photos?

7) When the first frost comes, I wish you happiness and a beautiful life beckons to you; Good luck and wealth are declining, and a bright future beckons to you; Smooth and comfortable, shake hands with you at work. The first frost not only hopes but also reminds us to pay attention to health and warmth.

8) Good people are set off by us bad people.

9) the so-called holiday, the family suspects that there is no money to go out, and every day is particularly idle.

10) You always fart in the office, and colleagues can't help asking if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shivering and asked what you were doing, and you replied that I was shaking!

1 1) busy, difficult to make money, annoying, spending money crazily, working hard for a whole month, spending it all in a few days, and having a poor performance, you have to rest on your laurels. Struggle for decades, just to get a bride. I wish you a happy life. My career is booming and my wallet is bulging.

12) It is difficult to have a house and a car. Everyone is ordinary. Although there is no job, the money is not enough to make ends meet, I often sleep on the street and like to play online games, but my personality is gentle enough, and there are always times when I don't have enough love. They never let go when they meet girls. Well, we will be together forever.

13) It's great when you make money, and even better when you spend money. Everything in the world is a cool word. I don't care who I can spend my whole life with, and the money I spend my whole life with you is called waste paper. Finally, it just comes out of your pocket and enters his pocket. I wish you money and a future, money and a future, flowers and a future.

14) that day, I was about to go to the zoo to see orangutans, and you came. I told you my arrangement politely, but I didn't expect you to turn your back and shout. Didn't you see I was right in front of you? You should go to the zoo.

15) Today, Chang 'e dated Bajie, and the swan met the toad, and the Weaver Girl followed the orders of the Empress Dowager and moved on. Don't wait, just do it and love me.

16) Three generations went fishing together. Grandsons saw grandpa holding a fishing rod and were speechless, so they said to his father, look at your father, how stupid he is! Dad was particularly angry and said, You talk nonsense, your dad is stupid!

Classic humorous jokes told to girlfriends.

1) Once sitting in the middle of a bus, an old lady came on the way. Immediately stood up and offered his seat to the old man. The old man smiled and said, Thank you. Oh, please sit down. There are many seats in the back. ? I turned around and the position behind me was all empty. .

2) One day, I was taking a bus. When the bus started, the next person chased the bus and shouted:? Master, wait for me? I saw the driver say something? Bajie, the stop is ahead. I'll wait for you there? .

3) What you earn is paper, but what you use is money. Life is always there, so bitter! Advise friends, don't be pessimistic, be optimistic and natural, as long as you work hard, you will be the brightest; Bless your friends, have a safe life, and money will continue to revolve around you!

4) My ex-boyfriend sent me a message asking me to attend his wedding. I calmly answered three words: next time.

5) Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face?

6) The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.

7) On the way to a bus, many people crowded up from the back door, the door could not be closed, and no one invested. The driver was really angry at that time and shouted loudly, if you don't invest money, get out, or I will get out! Everyone laughed at that time!

8) Money is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's gone after use.

9) son:? Dad, what is capital and what is labor? Father:? The thing is: if I borrow 100 yuan from my neighbor's house, I will have capital. If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. ?

10) Wang Guoxuan, an animal strategist, was chosen by Cobra with absolute superiority. The tiger comforted the fox and said, Brother, don't be depressed. Everyone says that your feet are always slippery, so they are not stable enough. Cobra wears a pair of glasses and looks like a cultural person.

1 1) making money is as quiet as a virgin and spending money like a rabbit; Making money is as slow as a mouse and spending money as fierce as a tiger; It is hard to make money and spend countless money; Making money is eternal, and spending money is a romantic number. In fact, if you think about it carefully, why do you want to make money without spending money? So I hope you can make more money and spend more!

12) Because cow dung can make flowers more colorful! So flowers have been inserted in cow dung!

13) making money is like sailing against the current, tired and tired, spending money is like sailing against the current, cool and cool! Every day of earning money is like a year, which is even more difficult. Spending money is a flash in the pan, as fast as lightning. Friends, please make more money and spend money reasonably. Good luck.

14) My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

15) My ideal college life is to have classes at eight o'clock in the morning, go to the library in the afternoon, play games, watch movies and read books in the dormitory at night, and then go to bed at eleven o'clock on time. Who should I call to say good night before going to bed? . . . But it turns out. . There is still a gap between ideal and reality. For example, the distance between Mars and the Earth. . . . .

16) The most mispronounced Chinese character: covet J? y？ 、??·j·y·ǔ、??·l？ Ngyǔ, ? w ? ngli ? ng, ? w? nk？ , mandarin fish gu? y？ , 汑汑 m? odi？ , gluttonous tāoti? , awkward ch? ch？ , k ǒ n ǒ z ǒ n ɡ, k not kōngd? Ng, qi ch? ch？ , flattering ch m: nm? Me, rickets gü ul? U. did you miss these words?

How many people are shouting? . . Actually, just lie in bed and think about it? ~

18) Look at you, Yushu is in the breeze, handsome and attractive, everyone loves you, and a hundred flowers bloom. You must be the best among scum and the beast among animals! And according to observation, you must have been short of calcium since childhood and lack of love when you grow up. Grandma doesn't hurt, and uncle doesn't. The left face owes pumping, and the right face owes kicking. The donkey saw the donkey kicking, and the pig saw the pig stepping. Born to be a cucumber, I owe it a pat! The day after tomorrow belongs to walnut, you owe it! Life is like a broken motorcycle, it needs kicking! Finding a wife is a screw, but not a screw!