Homophonic jokes

The teacher asked Xiaoming to make a sentence with "eat a catty".

Xiao Ming said: I was walking on the road and saw a pile of cow dung. Be startled (by a kilo).

The teacher praised: "Massive, massive ..."

2. There is only one channel.

The boss of the dormitory has a new girlfriend, who gave him a new walkman. The boss looked at the instructions, fiddled with them and said to himself, "Everything is fine, but there is only one channel!" " ".Old three watched martial arts in the upper bunk and asked," Isn't one enough? "The boss said," I want to have one more channel, so I can connect to the computer. "

3, a * pays 4600 yuan.

At the beginning of the new semester, several students in my dormitory and I went to the department to pay tuition. A notice was posted at the door of the department office: this year, the unified fee will be 4,600 yuan at a time, and no accommodation fee will be charged.

4. How much does it cost to sleep in jiaozi?

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend, and a beautiful waitress came to ask.

Friends always miss any chance to practice Chinese and say "Go to sleep (jiaozi)". how much is it?

The young lady was embarrassed and angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"It's yellow ..."

5. Can you tell me something about Jing Yue?

I took "China Ancient Literature". In my first class, the teacher talked about Confucianism, main figures and representative works, including "Four Books" and "Five Classics". A few minutes before class, the teacher asked the students to ask questions freely. A girl in the front row stood up and asked, "I saw Jing Yue mentioned in some books. Can you tell me what Jing Yue is about? " . There was a burst of laughter in the classroom.

6. Today is the big day for two students.

When I joined the league at school, it was just me and another girl. When the secretary of our League branch presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students …" The rest of the students laughed their heads off.

7. How much is a night's sleep (bowl) in jiaozi?

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?"

The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only steamed bread."

Old Dong said, "Oh, just touch the bun."

The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "Rogue!" "

Lao Dong was extremely surprised: "Six hairs? Too cheap! "

Trust me if you can. Let me see how long you are.

Once, two girls came to our dormitory to play with tractors. A group of two girls, a group of five elder brothers and me. Girls always stink, but they are lucky. They won a few hands and began to smile. Finally, once it was the fifth person's turn to sit in the village. They showed the hearts as their owners, and I turned them into squares. At this time, I saw the fifth strike the table and said excitedly, "There is a pair at last!" " Drag them out first, and then get it done slowly! "At this moment, a girl persistently said," Don't worry if you have the skill! "! I want to see how long you are! "

8.yunnan

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous and decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter, "Go and dump those two roast ducks.

Dump! "After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter waving a roast duck in front of them and left. One of them couldn't wait, so he called the waiter to ask.

Why not serve them roast duck? The waiter said, "Didn't you ask me to bring a roast duck?"

Note: ("Shuai Shuai" means "eat" in Yunnan dialect)

9.henan province

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only.

Steamed bread. "Old Dong said," Oh, just touch it. " The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "rogue! Old Dong was surprised: "Sixty cents?" It's too cheap! "

10, Sichuan

A soldier was captured, and the officer promised to grant him three wishes before killing him.

The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back with a beautiful woman, a soldier and a woman.

The police officer said there were two more wishes. The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. The soldier spent another night with the beautiful woman.

The officer said you had one last wish. The soldier still said I wanted to talk to my horse.

The officer was very surprised and went to the stable to eavesdrop. He saw the soldier holding the horse's ear and shouted, "I told you to take a woman (brigade), not a woman!" "

Guangxi 1 1

Some people in Guangxi speak Mandarin with inaccurate pronunciation and often with obvious local accent! Common reading: empty becomes public, mouth becomes dog, wind becomes crazy, which leads to the following

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