Can I have a copy of She is a Weak Woman by Yu Dafu? Thank you very much for your hard work. I can only give you a spiritual wealth. .

-I dedicate this book to my dearest and most respected Xia Ying.

1932 March on Duff

one

Her name is Zheng. When the roll call is made before class, when these three words are called, the eyes of female students in the class will converge on her egg-shaped face, stop for a minute. Some students sitting under her will forget to answer "here!" " Every time it's because of this gaze. Every time this name is called, the young man in the male teacher can't help secretly raising his eyes from the name book and trying to prey on her rosy lips, black eyes and high nose. Although everyone is wearing the same school uniform, the blue cloth shirt with a waist, a wrinkled black skirt, her pink face, these fleshy hands, and these two round and long white socks legs and feet are particularly suitable and fit.

The whole class is less than a few years old, but when it comes to gymnastics, she always stands in the fifth or sixth position in a row. Some on her right hand are thin and long, half a head taller than her; Some are swollen, like King Kong in front of the Great Temple. The person standing under her left hand is even more grotesque. There are several short and old classmates who look like the monster mother-in-law incarnated in European mythology.

At the beginning of the second semester after the summer vacation, Zheng's seat has been changed. She ranked seventh in the entrance exam and actually won the first place in the summer exam.

This year's summer is particularly hot. In September of the Gregorian calendar after school starts, the residual heat of summer is still steaming. On the second Saturday afternoon after school started, Zheng changed his clothes and stood in the shade of the school gate with a bag of books. It seems that she wants to find a chartered car from her home among the noisy classmates, cars and pedestrians to take her back.

Many students went back talking and laughing, and there were fewer cars waiting in front of the door, but her newly painted steel bow car still didn't come. The strong sunlight overhead shone through the shade of the tree. Back and forth, several classmates I know should have said hello and talked. The car at home was waiting for it, but there was no sign of it in the end. After Zheng was disappointed, the sweat on his face naturally increased, and the armpit of the gauze shirt was soaked twice. Just put the frown a wrinkly, she was about to turn and walk into the school gate to talk to the porter, but suddenly let out a clear call from the door:

"Zheng, why haven't you left yet?"

Looking up at the shadow in the door, Zheng immediately saw Feng Shifen's beautiful rectangular face sitting with her in the lecture hall.

"Our car hasn't come yet."

"I'll take you home, we sit together. Where do you live? "

"Behind the plum blossom monument, what about yours?"

"This is a great. We live in Taipingfang Lane. "

Zheng hesitated for a while, but was finally persuaded by Feng Shifen's kind suggestion.

Originally, they were the two most eye-catching in the class. The entrance exam is the first in Feng Shifen's exam. After this summer vacation exam, she fell behind and won the second place. The average score is only one point? The difference between "35" and "35", so Zheng guessed that Feng Shifen's heart was always a little uneven and reserved. So at the beginning of this semester, although the seats in the class, the dining table in the canteen, the bed in the dormitory and the bed in the study room were all in one place, Zheng dared not be close to her after more than ten days together. Feng Shifen, on the other hand, was originally a non-communicator with developed rationality and good nature. For Zheng, although there is no hostility to her, she doesn't want to make friends with her in a hurry. But this time, the same car went back, but it broke the gap between her two people, which is nothing.

When the two of them were holding the car, there was a second-class King Kong in the concierge, and Li Wenqing, who was tall and big, stood there peeking at them. Her face, covered with red and black freckles, is as big as a burly middle-aged man. When she makes school uniforms, the tailor always asks her to pay double, because the size is too big and the materials are handmade, so she has to make a lot more. When she spoke, her red and bright sand throat seemed to be Xu Chitose singing "Second Palace". But her family is very rich, wearing a pair of gold-rimmed glasses with a lion's nose, which is the envy of some girls in her class who are spoiled by petty bourgeoisie. When she first entered school, she had three or four thick and big gold rings on her hand. Later, when the supervisor told her, she muttered, "What's the matter? If you don't take it, you won't take it. " The depressing words were taken away from my hands. She works hard, but all the books she reads are old-fashioned novels such as Two Plums and Ten Beautiful Pictures. The latest one just saw what kind of marriage is like a mandarin duck and a butterfly. She has one advantage, that is, she is not stingy with money and has a wide range of classmates and friends.

She stood at the door of a room, gawking at Zheng He and Feng Shifen getting on the bus, watching their car leave the river in the sun, and then soliloquize and say to the man:

"Hey, this pair of little things is really fun!"

She has a hideous smile on her face, like a fierce dog. When the old porter saw her expression, he also felt funny and told her a joke derisively.

"Li Wenqing, why don't you associate with them?"

Hearing this, Li Wenqing even had a red tide in freckles. He just forced a smile, then pulled up his heels and strode back to the dormitory at school.

two

In Xie Jia Lane at the west end of Meihuazhuang, there is a row of new houses, three of which face south, with a garden in front and a garden in back. There is a bronze medal nailed to the fourth black wall door in the middle, which is the seclusion place of Zheng Qufei, Zheng's old father.

Zheng Qufei is almost fifty years old. Since his ex-wife gave birth to a son, he died of postpartum cold and has been single for nearly ten years. However, after his birth, he never lost his job. At first, he worked as a magistrate in Fujian twice. He came back from office and didn't live in seclusion for half a year. One of his good friends suddenly held an important position in Jiangsu two years before the revolution, so he was immediately invited to take a curtain call. After living behind the scenes for a year, he actually got a well-paid job as a magistrate in Yangzhou on the recommendation of an old friend. Originally, Mr. Hao Hao was indecisive, and the scene was surrounded by several colleagues, even breaking the ten-year single ring. Before taking over, he married a Yangzhou girl. Zheng was born less than ten months after marriage. When she was less than one year old, her half-father, who was studying in a school in Shanghai, suddenly contracted cholera before the summer exam and died in a hospital in Shanghai within a few days.

Besides suffering, Zheng also had negative thoughts in middle age. After the founding of the Republic of China and the withdrawal of Yangzhou, he didn't want to bow down and flatter any more, so he moved back to his hometown Quantang in Hangzhou with his wife and daughter. Originally from the imperial examination, he adhered to the ancestral tradition and never dared to violate it. So he came back from his official career, and a little money was only enough for his father and daughter to lead a normal life.

Political tides rise and fall, warlords run rampant, and China is constantly in the midst of civil strife and foreign invasion. Year after year, Zheng has grown into a charming girl and ranked first in this famous girls' school in Hangzhou.

Feng Shifen's car took her to the door. Zheng took Feng Shifen's hand and insisted that she get off and go in for a snack.

Zheng's mother was naturally very happy to see her daughter and classmates go home, but Zheng's mother told her daughter in the first sentence: "The driver was sick today and went home after lunch. At first, we couldn't get through the phone. When we got through, the concierge said that you had taken the Feng family's chartered car and came out of school together. "

Feng Shifen skillfully dealt with Zheng Jiabo's father and aunt, and was invited to her bedroom in the east wing by Zheng. Two people talking and laughing in the bedroom, eating snacks, unconsciously, even like a dream for two or three hours. It was not until the long afternoon when the sun went down that Feng Shifen made an appointment with Zheng for next Saturday and went to her house before getting on the bus in a hurry.

The Feng family in Taipingfang Lane was originally a family in Hangzhou. However, several generations later, there was another revolution in 19 1 1 year, and all the prominent officials of the Feng family were gone now. Especially in Feng Shifen's room, except Feng Shifen's age and two younger brothers, there is not much property. Her father died in Hanyang two years ago. Therefore, the poor life of Feng Shifen and his mother is not much different from that of Zheng. In particular, the feudal legacy of Hangzhou people, who are strong outside and weak inside, flaunts Hangzhou's inherent old home everywhere, making them the conquered and oppressed of the emerging bourgeoisie, and still dare not resist.

Feng Shifen came home and was scolded by her mother for coming back so late. She told her mother:

"I went to a classmate's house in Zheng for two hours today, so I came back a little late. I think their home is much more noisy than ours. "

"Finn, people are always dissatisfied. Everything should be orderly. If your father is not dead, why should we move back to this old house? Isn't it louder than other houses in Hanyang River? Everything is resigned to fate, what else is there to say! "

In this conversation, her tearful eyes have turned to the high head of the portrait hanging in the middle of the living room. Feng Shifen listened to her mother's painful words and suppressed the joy of making new friends this afternoon. Two people were silent for a while, she began to say:

"Empress, you don't get me wrong. I don't envy others. You always know me. However, if you are always so unreasonable, you will think of dad's trouble, but something is wrong. What do you mean by the past? Don't we three brothers and sisters grow up all our lives? "

"Well, you must always be a bit promising, don't fall asleep?"

The deep conversation was suddenly interrupted by the footsteps of two children in the outer hall. Before they entered the side door next to the hall, the phone first entered the room.

"Empress, why didn't a car pick us up today?

"Empress, why didn't the car pick us up today?"

With this call, two naughty children of twelve or thirteen years old look almost the same age and appearance. They are all handsome and rectangular in shape, just like their sister. Moreover, the nose is deep and the waist is thin, and the eyes are wide open. At first glance, it will be known that these three people are brothers and sisters born to a middle-aged widow.

The two children put their schoolbags on the table and ran to their sister at the same time. One of them held hands and said to her with a smile, "Sister, did you buy anything today?"

"Did you bring butter biscuits like last Saturday?"

Being quarreled like this by two angel-like children who don't know anything, the cloud that just enveloped the living room gradually dispersed. With a wry smile, Mrs. Feng reached into her bag and took out some copper coins. She scolded the two children half angrily and half happily, saying, "Stop fooling around and promise me to buy snacks with the copper coins."

Three.

Autumn is getting deeper and deeper, and the friendship between Zheng He and Feng Shifen, like fruits and licorice in the garden, reaches a mature golden age with the seasons. Class, dinner, self-study, of course, two people together. Even when walking in their sleep, they are reluctant to leave for a moment. On the bed in the dormitory, two people walked face to face in the middle. But they think this walk is the Milky Way. Every night after the housemaster comes to check the dormitory, they all complain deeply that it is not easy to cross it at once. So Zheng thought of a way to talk to a classmate who slept behind her bed, put her back on the bed and told Feng Shifen to change beds with this classmate. So I hung the curtains during the day, just like two back-to-back beds, but at night, as soon as the curtain door was plugged in, the two of them lifted the curtains behind the bed and climbed around freely.

Every Saturday night, either Zheng goes to the Feng family or Feng Shifen goes to the Zheng family for the night. And because Zheng can't live without Feng Shifen for a moment, several times they simply don't want to go back on Saturday.

Although people are gentle, their feelings are warm. Zheng, who has only been teaching for five minutes, feels that he is a person abandoned by the whole world, and there will be an unspeakable emptiness in his heart. Crying is almost bitter. But when they are together, they just look at each other, hold hands with each other, or touch each other, whether in class or in bed, and whether anyone sees them or not. Other behavior, really want to also won't think of.

Although a secret message among students reached their ears, it was numerous. For example, Li Wenqing likes how to share a bed with others, how to take off all his clothes and trousers before going to bed, and how to carry a pack of puzzling things with him. They have heard a lot, but they still don't understand the meaning of these things.

On a sunny and cold morning before the annual leave exam, Zheng felt very tired because she stayed with Feng Shifen for a few days and warmed up for some courses. After the wake-up bell rang, Feng Shifen urged her to get up many times, but she just fell asleep and leaned over to Feng Shifen, motionless. Suddenly, she had a backache and abdominal pain. She felt that she had to go to the toilet, so she begged Feng Shifen to wait for her in bed for a while, and then went down to wash her face and have class together when she came back. After a long time, her face turned pale and her eyes shone with urgency, and she ran back to bed in horror. Ten steps before going to bed, she screamed, "Feng Shifen! Feng Shifen! Oh, no! Not good! "

She ran to the bed and quickly said, "Feng Shifen, after I removed the smell, I wiped it with wool paper and actually wiped a lot of blood!"

Feng Shifen was startled by her at first, thinking that something was wrong, but she smiled at the last sentence. Because Feng Shifen is two years older than Zheng, and Zheng has just turned 14 years old, when she first came to register for the exam, she passed by hiding her age.

Zheng has become a complete woman. After taking the annual leave this year, she just went home and hasn't lived for ten days. She had a second experience.

Her appearance is getting fuller and fuller. On the greasy white skin, there is a new luster, which looks like white jade rubbing flannel. I have made several corsets before, and I don't need them. The chest and waist are nearly an inch bigger. She never pays much attention to decorating clothes. When she came back from her annual leave, she actually knocked on her old father to make a lot of clothes and bought a lot of cosmetics.

When the weather is sunny and warm, when Feng Shifen goes for a walk or boating in the lake, she is now concerned about the styles and materials of clothes and makeup of rich children who swim in the lake at the same time. She has no dissatisfaction with her family, but now she deeply feels the unbearable poverty in her heart.

Is Feng Shifen two years older than her, and gradually sees this change in her body, giving her a sincere exhortation every time she meets an opportunity? For example, once they were drinking tea in Santan, Yin Yue, suddenly a group of people, about the families of warlords, got off a big ship at the former pier. One of them is a young lady, who looks like a slut, wearing a very bright robe, which seems to be woven by real gold thread. The front and back of the robe are embroidered with two big white peonies. Seen from a distance in the sun, it looks like a dazzling flower. Behind her was a very young man with long black velvet hair and a black clouded leopard cloak on his arm. After seeing them off, Zheng couldn't help sighing: "The same is true of being a man. Everything she has done is worthwhile. "

Feng Shifen then talked with her for two hours. They say you have to do it yourself. Poverty is worse than wealth. Warlords, capitalists, local tyrants and evil gentry are all exploited by virtue. The beauty of clothes is not great. We must create the beauty of personality and personality to become great. Being poor is not bad luck. Those who have accumulated a lot of money to brag about their sins are the most shameless things. Vanity is a kind of boring psychology, and it is the first stage of women's depravity. With this mentality, one will never be satisfied with happiness. Money is earned by people. If people are controlled by money instead of money, is it still a person?

Feng Shifen almost burst into tears when she said this, because she knew very well that she was really a poor girl who was oppressed by the capitalist Shang Hao.

Four.

After Zheng He and Feng Shifen entered the second grade, their seats remained unchanged. This time, Feng Shifen was the first and Zheng was the second.

School starts less than a month in spring. The girls' middle schools in Hangzhou will unite to hold a speech contest. Before the joint meeting, all schools are pre-selecting representatives and practicing speaking. Zheng, the representative of her school, gave two examples, one is a third-grade student and the other is Feng Shifen, a second-grade student. However, the representatives attending the joint meeting are limited to one school. So on Saturday night, the day before the joint meeting. Their representative first tried a speech contest in our school. The topic is wealth and beauty, and the judges are two Chinese teachers in the school. One of them, surnamed Li, was a scholar of the previous dynasty. Hubei, who is responsible for explaining China's ancient poems and other homework, is in his forties. Although Mr. Li is old, he is flexible and can be said to be a newcomer in the old days. Therefore, his ancient prose does not stick to a pattern. Just like a girl with enlarged foot-binding who walks in the vernacular, she also chooses to study. She can write by herself. other

One surnamed Zhang is a native, a teacher who specializes in teaching vernacular Chinese and new literature. He is not very old. Every time he tells his students that he is only in his twenties, observing him objectively is a little more sophisticated than his twenties. Mr. Zhang, a northerner, is brilliant and pretends to be a gifted scholar. I stayed in Beijing for several years and never went to school, but I always express my feelings when writing articles. One of his eldest brothers, who graduated from Peking University and is now a teacher, died in Beijing one year, so he took his place and began to teach.

The evening's speech "Wealth and Beauty" was given by Li Wenqing and Feng Shifen. Li Wenqing spoke on the platform for an hour with her sandy throat in the same posture as a man. The main idea of the content just says: "The best thing in the world is wealth, the opposite of wealth is poverty, and poverty is the greatest evil. When people are rich, they can buy many things, eat well and dress well, and they can also buy many other things that money can't exchange. Those fame, personality, self-esteem, chastity and so on. It's all empty, but it's just a name used by the poor to chat and entertain themselves. Genius and learning are also vain, but they are the proud words of the poor to scare people there. It is practical genius who can expand the land and accumulate great wealth, and it is practical knowledge that can make money in everything. What are filial piety, faithfulness, courtesy, honesty and shame? If you were in charge of these things, you would have starved to death. With money, you can become beautiful, and you can buy any kind of beauty. With money, you can decorate your body and home beautifully. Therefore, no money, not beautiful, but not beautiful. "

This is the gist of Li Wenqing's speech. Feng Shifen's opposition is probably the doctrine that she often says to Zheng. She said that if we want to avoid poverty, we must first fight for the rich. Property is robbed by robbers, and capital is meaningful only for the public. For beauty, she advocates personality beauty, labor beauty, natural beauty, tragedy beauty and so on, which is always greater than physical beauty, decorative beauty and technical beauty in any case.

Although Feng Shifen's speech was reasonable, Li Wenqing's sandy voice and masculinity won the public's welcome. In particular, a series of idioms she read from many old novels, such as "It's a shame to spend flowers in the moonlight, and it's a shame to sink fish and fall geese", were all in her speech, so they won the appreciation of general rhetoric students and Mr. Li Dezhong. But after their speeches, when the judges decided to judge, there was a big debate between the two judges.

Mr Li Dezhong first stood up and said that Li Wenqing's posture was very good. If he attends the joint meeting, he will surely win the championship, so the representative of our school decided to be Li Wenqing. He spoke the word "champion" enthusiastically, and he said it three times. But Mr. Wang's view is just the opposite of Mr. Li's. He said that Feng Shifen's thought is good. Later, many times you said a word to me, and the situation became a debate between them.

Finally, Mr. Zhang even said that Mr. Li was surnamed Li, and you were helping her. Mr. Li did not show weakness, saying that Mr. Zhang was a disorderly party, so he agreed with Feng Shifen that he had committed the crime of insurrection. Mr. Zhang is angry. He just said that the ten cans of embassy cards that I gave you yesterday may be the main reason why you agreed with her. Hearing this, Mr. Li blushed and answered him: Is the letter you write to Feng Shifen every day the reason why you agree with Feng Shifen?

First, the two men spoke peacefully, then their guttural voices were amplified, and finally they knocked on the table and almost fought on the podium. All the students who are listening to the lecture are too scared to cough. Later, when the heated debate between the two gentlemen stopped occasionally, everyone only heard the sound of gasoline lights hanging in the lecture hall. This silence before the storm caused a kind of terror among the 200 people in the audience. Just when everyone was terrified to the extreme, Feng Shifen stood up unhurriedly from his seat and said, "Mr. Li and Mr. Zhang, I am in poor health and can't debate for a long time, so I am willing to give up my honor as a representative of the conference." I also agree with Miss Li that Li Wenqing students must win the championship to increase the glory of our alma mater. If the students agree with my proposal, please stand up and pay tribute to Representative Li, Teacher Li and Teacher Zhang. "

Feng Shifen's voice is not loud, but this short and clear speech has aroused the infinite sympathy of all the students. Although it is best to be friends with Li Wenqing, or most students who have received money and gifts from Li Wenqing, it goes without saying that even-handed and neutral students immediately stood up. Only two or three students in Li Wenqing's class showed angry faces, but they still stayed where they were and refused to stand up. This is not because they disapprove of Feng Shifen's proposal, but because they oppose it. They are just complaining that Li Wenqing abandoned the old and loved the new. Recently, I finally abandoned them one by one and am looking for new lovers. Therefore, they want to take this opportunity to avenge themselves.

five

After all, Mr. Li Dezhong is an elder with a good eye. Li Wenqing won the best gold medal in the joint speech contest for girls' middle schools. Therefore, Li Wenqing became the hero of the whole school. In the past, everyone treated her just as a funny attitude or a defensive attitude. Now, some stubborn students have also reduced their contempt for her. What makes everyone think that she is particularly lovely is her childish smugness after this victory.

A gold medal as big as a double slot, she spent a lot of money to take it to the gold shop to set a side, put something on it, and hung it on the chest of the school uniform from morning till night, looking like an old grandmother's head sticking out from a distance. A few days before she hung up this gold medal, she even fell down in class to look at her breasts. The cunning people in her classmates see through her temper and always take advantage of her, because you want her to spend a few dollars to invite you to dinner. Then all you have to do is run to her and hold her and let her carefully show you this gold medal. She will smile and open her big mouth, straighten her chest and proudly show you. You pretend to read it carefully, and after adding a few compliments, she will buy you whatever you want her to eat. Later, someone went to see her gold medal several times a day. She also felt a little strange and said seriously.

"What's the matter? Aren't you tired of looking like this?"

Seeing her proud and serious attitude and expression, the spectators couldn't help laughing. After laughing for a while, he told her the reason for doing so. She was a little angry at this and invited a lot fewer guests from now on.

The motivation for this treat is the same, that is, she is very kind to Feng Shifen. She believes that her success this time is entirely due to Mr. Li Dezhong's help, but Feng Shifen's abandonment of representative qualification is also the direct reason for her victory. So on the second day of the speech contest, she went to Hendry and bought a Swiss watch with a gold shell and diamonds on it. After dinner, she found Feng Shifen and Zheng on the playground and sincerely took them out. She must leave them to Feng Shifen as a souvenir. Feng Shifen was surprised at first, then stood still and looked at her for a long time inexplicably. Rely on Shi Feng ......

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