What are the jokes?

1. Short and funny jokes 1. There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked... 2. Two people fell into a trap. The dead ones are called dead people and the living ones are called dead ones. What? Answer: Call for help! 3. What are cloth and paper afraid of? Not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, only (paper) afraid of just in case. 4. There was a fat man. He jumped from a tall building and turned into a dead fat man. 5 Teacher: How to reduce white pollution? Classmate: Make the lunch box blue. 6 One day, a buck ran faster and faster, and it turned into a high-speed buck. 7 Miss: It’s hard to do business now! Boss: Why? Miss: Bird flu. 8 Which is the worst, tiger skin, elephant skin or lion skin? Answer: Elephant skin. Because of the eraser (poor). 9 Question: What is the thing with three heads and one foot? Answer: 3 A monster with one head and one foot! 10 Once upon a time, a marshmallow was very tired. He said: I feel like my whole body has softened. 11 One day, the little yellow duck was hit by a car while crossing the road. He shouted: "Quack!" From then on It turns into a small cucumber. 12 Xiao Ming: Akang, what does it become when a shark eats mung beans? Akang: I don’t know. Xiao Ming: Stupid. Mung bean paste (mung bean shark) 13 The elephant asked the camel: Your breasts Why does it grow on the back? Camel: Stay away, I don’t talk to the thing with the penis on the face! 14. How to make the drink bigger? Recite the Great Compassion Mantra. 2. Short cold jokes 1. Two dung beetles discuss welfare Lottery. Person A said: If I win the big prize, I will buy all the toilets within a radius of 50 miles and eat enough every day! Person B said: You are so vulgar! If I win the big prize, I will buy a living person and eat fresh food every day. !2 One day, my mother-in-law was riding in a car. She didn’t know the road halfway. She hit the driver’s butt with a stick and said: Where is this? Driver: This is my butt. 3 Once upon a time, there was a man fishing and he caught a squid. Squid Begging him: Please let me go, don’t roast me and eat me. The man said: Okay, then I will ask you a few questions. The squid was very happy and said: You take the test, you take the test! Then the man Grilled the squid... 4A: What is that man doing? B: He is shivering. A: Why is he shaking? B: He is cold. A: Oh, it turns out that if you tremble, you won't be cold. 5 A sausage He was locked in the refrigerator. He felt very cold. Then he looked at the other person next to him and said, "Look at you, you are frozen like this. Your whole body is covered with ice!" The other person said, "I'm sorry, I'm a popsicle." 6 There were two sausages in the refrigerator. After a long time, one sausage shook, wow! It’s so cold~! The other sausage said in surprise, Huh? How can you talk when you are a sausage? 7 Xiao Ming had his hair cut. Chapter 7 When he arrived at school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair is like a kite! Xiao Ming felt wronged, so he ran outside and cried. As he cried, he flew up. ..8 One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a drive. The car was almost out of gas, so she went to refuel. Suddenly a gust of wind blew her boyfriend's hat away. Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her: "I'm going to pick up the hat, you help me." Come on." As soon as her boyfriend ran away not far away, he heard Xiaomei shouting from behind him: "Come on! Come on!" 9 One day a girl went to have her fortune told. The fortune teller saw that she had a tattoo and said that your boyfriend's name is Xiao Good, right? The girl said with angry eyes: "This is hate." 10 An orangutan passed by the woods and accidentally picked up the gibbon's excrement. The kind-hearted orangutan cleaned up the excrement. Soon they fell in love. Someone asked you how you got together? The orangutan replied: "It's ape dung (fate)!" 11MM got lost looking for the university. I met a gentle professor. MM: "Excuse me, how can I get to xx University?" Professor: "You can only do it if you study hard." 12 The polar bear and the penguin played together. The penguin pulled out all the hair on his body. After pulling out, he said to the polar bear: It's so cold! The polar bear listened and also pulled out all the hair on his body. The fur was all pulled out. He turned to the penguin and said: It is really cold! 13 The ant went to the desert. Why did it leave no footprints but only a line? Answer: Because it rode a bicycle! The ant came home from the desert without notifying anyone. , but his family knew that he was back. Why? A: I saw his bicycle parked downstairs. 14. In the music class, the teacher played a piece by Beethoven. Xiao Ming asked Xiao Hua: "Do you know music?" Xiao Hua :"Yes" Xiao Ming: "Then do you know what the teacher is playing?" Xiao Hua: "Piano." 15 A pair of Corns fell in love. So they decided to get married. On the wedding day, Corns couldn't find his wife. This Corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our corn? Popcorn: Honey, she is wearing a wedding dress. 16 The little penguin asked his grandma one day, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" ?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." Xiao

The penguin asked his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong?" "But, why do I feel so cold?" 17 Director and Section Chief** *Take the elevator. After the director farted, he said to the section chief: "You farted!" The section chief said: "I didn't do it." Soon the section chief was dismissed. The reason for the director was: "You can handle any big fart." I can't afford it, what's the use of you?" 18 A woman encountered a robber and said tremblingly: I am from X school, I just graduated, I haven't found a job, I really have no money. After hearing this, the robber cried bitterly, "Sister, I He is also from School Explanation! The eagle was in tears: That year, when I was asleep, the cat climbed up the tree. Later, there were owls. There was a man in the 20s who had a bad gastrointestinal problem. He came to the hospital to see a doctor. He said to the doctor: I pooped when I ate. , eat watermelon and pull watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber! The doctor thought for a while and said to him: I think you can only eat shit! 21 What does the African cannibal chief eat? The chief is sick, and the doctor told him to be vegetarian. Then what does he eat? A vegetative state... 3. Longer jokes (but very funny) 1 A blind beggar was begging on the street wearing sunglasses. A drunk man came over and thought he was pitiful, so he threw a hundred yuan to him After he walked for a while, the drunkard turned around and saw the blind man trying to distinguish the authenticity of the hundred-yuan note. The drunkard came over and took back the money and said: You fucking don't want to live anymore, how dare you lie to me! The blind beggar said with an aggrieved look on his face. :Brother, I’m here to look at it for my friend. He is blind and went to the toilet. In fact, I am mute. “Oh, that’s it.” So the drunk man threw down the money and staggered away. 2 One day, The teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruits. She announced, "Children, after picking the fruits, we will wash them together and eat them together after washing." All the children ran to pick the fruits. When the gathering time came, all the children gathered. Teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?" Xiaohua: "I am washing apples, because I picked apples." Teacher: "Where are you, Xiaomei?" Xiaomei: "I am washing tomatoes. Because I picked apples." Tomatoes." Teacher: "The children are all great! What about you, A Ming?" A Ming: "I am washing my cloth shoes because I stepped on poop."