Children's joke story grade one

Do you like jokes and stories? Do you know what a children's joke story is? Here, I have prepared a children's joke story for you. Let's read it together!

Where is the sugar?

Teacher: "Lingling, please make a sentence with the word' sugar'."

Lingling: "I am drinking milk."

Teacher: "Where is the sugar?"

Linlin: "In the milk!" "

Younger than me

Xiaohong pointed to the map and said, "This is Guangdong, and we live here."

My 5-year-old sister said, "Guangdong is younger than me. How can I live in people? "

reason

Two children are talking;

A child said, "Aunt Zhang's stomach has become so big now! Mom said she was pregnant with a child, a girl. "

The second child said, "My uncle in the country has grown so big now! So, he is pregnant, too. However, I don't know if my uncle is pregnant with a boy or a girl? "

A child said, "Do you need to ask? Aunt Zhang is a woman and pregnant with a girl; Your uncle is a man, of course he is pregnant with a boy! "

Thermal expansion and cold contraction

Wan Wan (10 years old): We know that heat expands and cold contracts.

Mom: Do you know what expansion with heat means contraction with cold?

Absolutely: it just gets bigger when it is hot and smaller when it is cold.

Mingming: I see. It's hot in summer, so the holiday time is long, and it's cold in winter, so the holiday time is short.

Father and son

"Dad, why do you have white hair on your head?"

"If my son doesn't listen, let my father worry, and his head will be white!"

"So, Dad, you are too worried about your grandfather who has white hair."

What do you mean by "happy"

My little niece once asked me, "Uncle, what is happiness?"

"People are happy when they are happy."

"So you care about being unhappy?"

Sleep and play with a flashlight

Before going to bed, the 5-year-old son said to his mother, "Mom, give me the flashlight."

"What are you doing sleeping and playing with a flashlight?"

"I don't play. I dreamed that darkness was coming and I couldn't see it. "

How much is the cost?

Father teaches his son to read. When he learned the word "Tian", he asked him, "What's on your head?"

The son thought for a moment and said, "Hair."

"What about the hair?"

"The roof."

"What about the roof?"

"Tiles."

The father was impatient and struck the table: "Idiot! Take a good look. What else is on it? "

The son cried in horror, "There are … birds flying …"

Eat fish and chicken.

Child: "Dad, Xiaohua's father swims very well. Why not? "

Dad: "Xiaohua's father always eats fish, so he can swim." Dad, I don't often eat fish. How can I swim? "

Child: "But, Dad, you always eat chicken. Can you lay eggs? "

Grow up to be a teacher

Father: "The teacher told me at the parent-teacher meeting that you always like to talk in class and you should correct it later."

Son: "Why should we correct it? The teacher speaks several times more than me in class! "

Father: "That's the teacher giving a lecture. How can you talk without talking? "

Son: "don't you always say' everything should be started from a young age'?" I want to be a teacher when I grow up. How can I not practice now? "

The head and tail are out.

Xiao Qiang learned to look it up in the dictionary. One day, he wanted to look up the word "you". He searched for a long time and only found the word "Tian". Xiao Qiang flew into a rage:

"Why don't you dare to come out with your head down!" After a while, Xiao Qiang turned to the word "A", which made Xiao Qiang happy: "You were afraid of me, so you put your tail out!"

After a while, the clever Xiao Qiang saw the word "Shen" again, clapped his hands and smiled: "Haha, now his head and tail are sticking out!"

Play stringed instruments

Mom: Mute, wash your hands before you can play the piano! Dumb: Never mind, I'll play black keys!

Don't be afraid.

One day, the police found a little girl wandering alone in the street. She doesn't know her name or where she lives. The police began to rummage through her pockets helplessly, hoping to find some clues. The little girl didn't resist, but said softly, "Don't be afraid, I don't have a gun."

peacock

Little Mary went to her grandmother's house in the country. One day, she was playing in the garden and saw a peacock she had never seen before.

This kind of bird. After watching it for a while, she sneaked into the house and shouted, "Grandma, come and see it! There is a hen blooming in your house. "

Historical story

Xiaoming is always pestering his father to tell him historical stories. Dad: "Good! Once upon a time, there was a frog. . . "Xiao Ming:" Alas! People want to hear historical stories! ! "Dad:" Well, in the Tang Dynasty, there was a frog. . . . . "

Cheat to eat and drink.

"Let's play the game of the zoo!" Six-year-old Carl said to his mother. "How to play?" "It's very simple. I am a monkey, you are a tourist, and feed me jelly, peanuts and chocolate. "

Between hand and face

Mother: "Your face is still clean, but why are your hands so dirty?" Son: "I just wiped my face with my hand."

Have a bad memory.

How is your teacher? She has a poor memory. Just now she said 1+ 1=2, and now she says 3- 1=2.

Why are they called students?

Dad: "Son, you are in junior high school. Do you know why you call them students? " Son: "I know, we only learn what students are familiar with!" " "

have a rest

My son did something wrong and cried for an hour after I scolded him. I ignored him. When he stopped crying, I asked him, "You stopped crying?" The son replied, "I don't stop crying." I want to have a rest. "

Do you understand "things"?

One day, my aunt said to the children in the class (she is a kindergarten teacher), "You must be sensible! Suddenly a child said loudly, "teacher, I know five more!"

How many cats do you want to keep?

The physics teacher talked about the principle of electricity: "Friction can generate electricity. For example, as long as you touch the cat's hair backwards, you can see the electric spark. " "God," cried a little girl, "how many cats must be kept in that power station!"

No missing parts

"Dad, I took the TV apart and reassembled it. I just want to see the structure inside. "

"Thank goodness, you haven't lost any parts, have you?"

"Not lost, there are more than a dozen pieces!"

count the stars

In the evening, Xiaoxiao came to Mao Mao. "Come on, let's count the stars in the yard."

Mao Mao: "It's so dark, can you count?" I think we'd better go to bed tonight and count until dawn. "

My son watches basketball.

The father held his five-year-old son in his lap and watched the basketball game with rapt attention. Seeing the athletes struggling for the ball, the child asked, "Dad, basketball must be very expensive, right?"

Dad was surprised and said, "Honey, how can you think that?"

The child said, "If it's not expensive, why don't they each buy one?"

A lying teacher

On the first day of school, Bobo came home from school.

"How is the new teacher?" Mom asked.

"Not at all. She likes to lie. "

"How is that possible? Don't talk nonsense. "

"In arithmetic class, she first said that 3 plus 3 equals 6; After a while, she said that 2 plus 4 equals 6; At the end of class, she said that 5 force 1 equals 6. "

The difference between cleverness

"Teacher, why is your head bald?"

"Great."

"Then I'll shave my head, too."

"This is cleverness."

Hey. Humans don't keep promises!

The hungry wolf was looking for food when he heard a family member training his child: "If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf!" " However, the child cried all night. ...

The next morning, the wolf sighed, "Alas … human beings are not trustworthy!" " "

Rest assured.

Mother and son went to the zoo and came to the iron cage where the lion was kept. Mother said, "son, don't get too close!" "

The son replied, "Mom, don't worry, I won't hurt it."

compensate

A boy: Your dog bit me and I want you to pay for it!

Another boy: "I'm really sorry. I'll hold the dog down now, and you can bite as much as you want! " "

The balloon is missing.

In the park, a child always follows a pregnant woman in tears. The pregnant woman finally got impatient and turned to ask, "Son, what's wrong with you?"

"Aunt," sobbed the child, "my balloon is gone. Is it hidden in the stomach? "

wrinkle

A little girl sobbed in the street, and a wrinkled old lady came up and said, "Don't cry! Crying too much will wrinkle the beautiful face, and then it will become ugly! " The little girl stopped crying at once, waited for a while and said, "Mother-in-law, did you like crying when you were a child?"

How to stop mosquitoes from biting us?

Answer; Put some oil on your body, step on it and the mosquitoes will slip away.

Put some glue on your body and mosquitoes will stick to it.

If you play a lullaby, the mosquito will go to sleep and stop biting.

Close to the sun

A basketball player with a height of 2. 1 m came from the court. He was sweating like a pig. Two pupils on the roadside met and chatted. "Why do you think this uncle is so hot?" "Because he is tall." "Why is it hot when you are tall?" "He is tall and close to the sun!"

Tong Yan tong Yu

On the plane, the stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?" ? 」

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will' flash' ..."

Piano's teeth

"Mom, do you know whose roots are black and whose teeth are white?"

"I don't know, naja. Can you talk about it? "

"Piano."

I want this toy.

Danny is a child who likes toys. One day, he went shopping with his father and saw a beautiful and expensive toy car. He insisted on buying it, but his father said it was too small and wanted to buy him a big one. Danny is very obedient. When crossing the road, he saw a double-decker bus stop at the red light at the intersection. He ran excitedly, grabbed the front of the car and shouted, "Dad, I want this toy!" " "

Kangaroo's bag

Father: "Do you know why there is a bag in front of kangaroo's stomach?"

Child: "I think it must be used to hold kangaroos."

Father: "But kangaroo also has a bag in front of its stomach. What is the explanation? "

Child: "that must be used to hold candy!" " "

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