Mood jokes

Jokes about mood

Jokes about mood, in life, everyone has to listen to some funny things or jokes, which can help unhappy people. After listening to Be happy, so what are some funny jokes? Below I have compiled jokes about mood. Mood Jokes 1

1. God is fair. While giving happiness to others, he will also make you blind, lest you feel uncomfortable after seeing it.

2. No one always has smooth sailing. In fact, you are not lonely. Look at the friends around you. They are all together because of failure.

3. The tattoo master asked me whether I wanted a black wolf or a golden wolf tattoo. I said, "Since you are out to fool around, of course you must be ambitious and learn to be patient." Finally, he tattooed a gray wolf on me.

4. If you have no money or time to travel, buy a globe. The world is so big, you can not only see it, but also go around it.

5. Whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I would advise them to look further ahead and let bygones be bygones. But they are always unwilling to give in and keep urging me: pay back the money quickly!

6. The interviewer asked me to introduce my leadership experience. I thought for a while and said: "I once led a team of 500 people." The interviewer's eyes lit up: "Oh? Why don't you quit? "I took a deep breath and looked into the distance: "My account has been hacked!"

7. Every time I try to cram the Buddha, the Buddha always gives me a kick!

8. For me, problems that can be solved with money are not problems. How to make money is my biggest problem.

9. Not all women can be emperor. Wu Zetian did it. Not all black people can be president. Obama’s horse did it. Not everyone can give me likes. Handsome people can do it. arrive.

10. I have a strong mother. I remember when I was a child, my mother took me on a bicycle. The wheel of my bicycle got stuck. My mother felt that I couldn’t pedal, so she stood up and pedaled.

11. Student: "Teacher, what you teach is useless." Teacher: "I don't allow you to say that about yourself."

12. Breaking up with others Now I can go to Paris alone, but after I broke up, I could only go to the beef noodle restaurant downstairs. I didn’t dare to add eggs to a bowl of beef noodles that cost six yuan.

13. Endless work, not enough sleep, a wallet that cannot fatten, and a mink that cannot afford. I earned 200 million in half a lifetime: one with amnesia and one with memories.

14. "How can a woman be disfigured quickly?" "Remove the beautiful pictures on her mobile phone."

15. In the next life, if she burns for a year I can meet you with incense. I can get to know you by burning incense for three years. I can cherish you by burning incense for ten years. For the happiness of you and me in the next life, I am willing to throw away all the incense at home.

16. What is a male god? He is the kind of man who, with just one glance, feels that he has nothing to do with you in this life.

17. I recently got a girlfriend, but I didn’t expect her family to disapprove, especially her husband, who was really ruthless!

18. If a girl today was walking on the streets in ancient times and was taken back to bed by the emperor, and washed her face at night, would she be found guilty of deceiving the emperor or something like that?

19. The hospital medical examiner asked me: Have you ever done any dangerous sports? I thought about it and answered: Yes, sometimes I talk back to my wife.

20. When you feel that you are ugly, poor, and worthless, don’t despair, because at least your judgment is still right.

21. On the subway, almost everyone was playing with their phones with their heads down. Only a few foreigners were holding a book and reading attentively, which seemed a bit out of place. This move really touched me, as if it reminded me of something, so I stole their mobile phones.

22. I once thought that as long as I worked hard and ran forward, poverty and loneliness would not be able to catch up with me. But who would have thought that what couldn't catch up with me was my hairline.

23. When I see other girls eating, I eat too. When I see other girls buying, I also buy. When I see other girls being thin and beautiful, I pretend I don’t see them.

Twenty-four, there is a buddy who is very serious. One time I was eating noodles in the cafeteria and ate an unknown black object. I reported it to the cafeteria master, but he was scolded. So this guy silently bought a bowl of noodles every day, ate it quickly, and then vomited it out in public... After three days, the noodles in the cafeteria could not be sold at all, so on the fourth day, the cafeteria master knelt down and begged him to stop. Mood Jokes 2

1. I was lying on the bed playing with my mobile phone. My mother shouted outside the house to pay her 50 yuan for the phone bill. I was too lazy not to do so, so I charged her 50 yuan online. I was just about to tell my mom that I handed her in, but it turned out. The mother yelled: There is no need to go, son, I don’t know which fool charged me...

2. When an old man fainted, he immediately sent him to the hospital. At that time, he didn’t have any clothes on him So I called my girlfriend. As soon as she entered the ward, she scolded me: "You are mentally ill, why are you meddling in your own business..." When she saw the old man on the hospital bed, she was startled: "Dad!" The old man glanced at my girlfriend. He said to me: "Young man, you are a nice person. Listen to me and break up with my daughter.

3. My wife is very fierce and starts beating me unexpectedly. I suggested that she learn judo. It's much better now, not because she doesn't hit me anymore, but because she always bows to me before she hits me. I will run away... ...Haha!

I went to eat ramen just now. When I was eating, a young man came in followed by a woman. The boss asked: Is that your sister behind? The man replied: My sister? How can my sister be so ugly?

5. My colleague and his son met me: Call me aunt, isn’t she beautiful? Later, I quietly said to the child: Auntie, there are a lot of delicious food there. Isn’t Auntie beautiful? His answer was outrageous! “Auntie, can we not talk about this topic! ?”

6. My brother has been single and hasn’t met the right one. A while ago, he said that a matchmaker would introduce him to a girl. I told him several times that he resisted and refused to go. I said that we would meet and try out. Try it, he said: I'm afraid of being as fat as you! Me: You...

7. Women are still emotional after all, and have no immunity to various small animals, such as Bugatti Veyron, Hummer, Jaguar, Land Rover, BMW, etc., and of course, Tmall.

8. At the bus stop, a man said to a buddy: "Where's your car?" "I was rear-ended yesterday and had to be sent to repairs!" "Want to help?" I have an acquaintance! "No, the other party is solely responsible!" "Oh, have you settled the matter with the other party?" "Well, it's settled. I promised to get a new pair of foot stirrups." Poof! A girl next to me squirted soy milk all over the floor...

9. One night, a woman was riding in a taxi and saw the driver eating apples. She said, "I loved apples the most when I was alive." The driver was so frightened that he couldn't even eat apples. I ate all the apple cores. I just heard her continue: "I don't like eating much since I gave birth to a child."

10. The young couple next to me on a blind date made me laugh to death. Girl: Then let me ask directly, how much do you earn every month now? Boy: The salary is more than 6,000 yuan, and I can win 1,000 yuan every month playing mahjong with my colleagues, which is very stable.

11. My daughter’s hair has grown, and she wears it in a ponytail every day. When she comes back from school in the afternoon, she does not wear a ponytail for the first time, and her hair is loose. The husband looks at his daughter and smiles happily: Our yellow-haired girl has grown up. It’s a girl! Look at the way the long hair is flowing, so beautiful! When I was getting ready to go to bed at night, I deliberately took off my headscarf, let my hair down and came up to my husband to act coquettishly. My husband pushed me away and said with a look of disgust on his face: Look at how sloppy you are with your disheveled hair! Go and tie your hair up!

12. When I was taking exams as a child, I wrote my answers quickly and confidently, and then started pretending to fall asleep in the exam room. A relative passing by saw this scene and told my mother, who gave me a beating when I got home that night! The next day, the results were announced and I ranked first. I happily took the results home. My mother said you must have cheated and gave me another beating.

13. I remember the first period of chemistry class at the beginning of high school. Everyone in the class was talking, and the chemistry teacher’s voice was drowned out. I saw the chemistry teacher holding up the test tube and saying, “Stop talking.” I will blow you up. Since then, our chemistry class has been very quiet.

14. One afternoon, I was walking alone on the country road home. Suddenly a man with a knife came out, put his arms around my neck and pointed the knife at me: "Hit, rob." I said He immediately asked, "How dare you commit robbery in broad daylight?" ... In this way, we stood there until dark.

15. The neighbor’s aunt introduced me to someone, saying she was a flight attendant. I was so excited that I didn’t sleep well all night. When we met the next day, we found that she was indeed beautiful, but she asked for a certain monthly income and how big the house should be. I was tired of hearing this and said: "Why don't you go to heaven?" The stewardess smiled gracefully: "I have a day off." I... Mood Jokes 3

1. Who says you don't have perseverance? , haven’t you persisted in being single for decades?

2. I just went to the bathroom in a shopping mall and sat on the toilet. I found that there was still the last person's warmth on the toilet seat. I couldn't help crying. This was the first time I felt warmth in this city.

3. Children, what’s wrong with being poor? Even if you are poor, you should stand up and show others that you are not only poor but also short. So what if I'm short? Lift your head up and let them know that you are not only short, but also ugly!

4. If no one wants you in the future, you must remember me. I don’t want you either.

5. You are so beautiful. First of all, you must thank your parents. If they hadn’t given you a pair of skillful hands, would you have been able to make yourself so beautiful?

6. Walking on the road with my husband, fighting, getting angry, and swearing. The two men in front looked back, and I immediately pretended to be a sweetheart. My husband said: "Stop pretending, they are not looking at you, they are looking at which man is so useless."

7. When you go to a driving school to practice driving, the instructor will say before others get in the car: "Don't be nervous, relax! "The coach said before I got in the car: "Everyone, stay away!"

8. As long as you work very hard, one day you will find that you can never get closer to the rich. gap.

9. When welcoming the bride, the woman suddenly asks for an additional gift of 100,000 yuan. If she does not give it, she will not be allowed to pick up the bride. The groom's face changed, and he went out to call his ex-girlfriend: "If I go to marry you today, will you marry me?" The woman: "I don't want to, what's wrong?" The groom: "It's okay, I'll just ask, that Can you lend me some money? ”

10. Since I got the P-picture software, my waist is no longer thick, my face is no longer fat, my dark circles are gone, and my face is no longer dark. Hey , I’m so worthy of our face!

11. Never hang yourself on a tree. You can try several times on the surrounding trees.

12. Finally understood the difference between me and the top student: She was in a bad mood and lay down on the table for two minutes before suddenly starting to do her homework. I was in a bad mood and fell asleep on the table after two minutes. .

13. Getting rid of poverty is not as easy as losing hair, but getting fat is far easier than getting rich.

14. "The richer people are, the more stingy they are!" This sentence is very reasonable. If you don't believe it, look at Jack Ma, the richest man. He is so rich and has never treated me to a meal.

15. I saw an old lady lying on the ground today, and I was wondering whether to help her. Just when I was about to go up and help her, the old lady said: "Go away, poor boy, and don't disturb my business." ".

16. I tried my best to lose weight and vowed to be as thin as a lightning bolt. Later I discovered that the thinnest lightning bolt is several meters wide.

17. I feel that the Internet is a black hole. The faster the Internet speed, the slower the world. I just glanced at my phone, and then raised my head, two hours have passed on the earth.

18. My daughter refused to do her homework. She wanted to drink water and eat food. She procrastinated for two hours before writing a few words. One slap passed, and now I have written two full pages. I sincerely sigh: the intangible cultural heritage is still quite good.

19. I just woke up today. It turns out that the fastest way to refuse street sales is not "Thank you, I don't need it", but "I am your companion."

20. I know it’s bad to waste your time, but it’s really enjoyable.