Please ask for jokes. If they are really funny, please add more. If they are really funny, add 20 points.

I am going to eat KFC tomorrow. So nervous! Is it expensive? How can you pretend to eat it often? Can you cross your legs? Can I smoke? Is there a toilet inside? What should I do if I’m too nervous and want to go to the toilet? A meal for two people wouldn't cost thousands of dollars, would it? Can I take it away if I can’t finish it? What dish should I order to look more dignified? Isn't the menu in English? It's embarrassing if I can't understand. I'm so nervous. Can you help me?

2. The teacher said: The final exam is coming soon, so those who fall in love early should not quarrel, so as not to affect their mood. If you're not in love, don't express your feelings to avoid being rejected and affecting your mood. In fact, it's okay for you to fall in love, but you have to be careful and find someone who is responsible. What's the use of those who throw away their hands as soon as they see the teacher?

3.

There is one of the most cruel people in China, named Huohuo, because we often see or hear: beating people to death, forcing people to death It makes people angry to death; it makes people anxious to death... In China, there is one of the most pitiful people named Huohuo, because we often see or hear: beaten to death, anxious to death, I was driven to death, I was pissed to death...

4. Do you know why the sea is blue? Answer: Because there are fish. Why are fish blue? Because fish can spit bubbles! Why are fish bubbles blue? Because there is a sound of "Blue Blue Blue" when the fish blows bubbles...

5. An old man's dog died, so the old man packed the dead dog and shipped it to his hometown for a grand burial. But the consigned dog The people at the airport didn't know it was dead. When they got off the plane, they found out it was dead. They thought the dog was dead, so they sent someone to a nearby dog ??market to buy an identical one. Later, the old man opened his luggage and found out. The dog was alive. So the old man was scared to death!

6. Once upon a time, there was a monk and a butcher who were good friends. The monk had to get up to chant sutras every day, and the butcher had to wake up and kill pigs every day. The other party got up. Many years later, the monk and the butcher died one after another. The butcher went to heaven, but the monk went to hell. Why? Because the butcher did good deeds and asked the monk to get up to chant sutras, but the monk asked the butcher to get up and kill animals every day...

7. When buying clothes, if the salesperson says disdainfully: These clothes are very expensive, don’t touch them if you don’t want to buy them. If you don’t want to buy them, just answer her: You seem to be rich? Sold.

8. Someone asked a question, "If you were to go bungee jumping and found that the rope broke halfway, what would you shout if you could only shout two words? "There were a lot of replies, and most of them replied with the words "profiteer", "mom", "I cao", etc. But I was completely shocked when I saw the reply from the eldest brother! The eldest brother replied with two words "transformation"!

There was a man named Zhen Ke Suo. He married a wife and asked you to take care of him. He gave birth to a son who was troublesome. One day, the couple went to report the crime. The police asked: Excuse me. What is this man’s name? The policeman was very angry. Then he asked his mother what his name was. The policeman said very angrily: What are you doing? Trouble!

10.2011 Latest Thunder Words - 1. Dreams are meant to be shattered; 2. Being cheap is all wishful thinking; 3. Everything is increasing in price, only people are getting cheap; 4. Listen to sweet talk too much. You will get diabetes; 5. Everyone lives like an uncle and pretends to be a grandson; 6. If my life was a movie, you would be the advertisement that pops up; 7. There are only two ways for women to talk to men. Either lie down or stand.

11. A male classmate in college was living with his girlfriend outside. Soon, his girlfriend became pregnant. The male classmate panicked and asked for help at home because he was too popular at home. Ignore him. On Father's Day, the male classmate thought this was a good opportunity, so he immediately wrote a text message to his father: "Happy Father's Day." Within 5 minutes, his father replied with two words: "Tongle." ”

12. My deskmate changed his QQ name to “Your father before he died” and then added our class teacher. As a result, the class teacher’s QQ was often prompted: Your father requested to add you as a friend before he died. Your father invited you to play for parking spaces before he died. Your father stole your food before he died. Your father forwarded your message before he died. Weibo... The most powerful: Your father left a message for you before he died.

13. The mother-in-law tests the three sons-in-law. First, I invited my eldest son-in-law to take a walk. He suddenly jumped while crossing a bridge. My eldest son-in-law jumped into the water and rescued me. My mother-in-law gave him a Guangben car as a gift. The mother-in-law followed the same pattern and tested the second son-in-law, but was also rescued. The injured second son-in-law received an Audi as a gift. She tried the third son-in-law again, but he couldn't swim and couldn't save her, and the mother-in-law drowned. The next day, his father-in-law gave him a Mercedes-Benz as a gift!

14. On the plane, a father and daughter. The father is 30 years old and the daughter is 6 to 7 years old. The flight attendant is very beautiful. The father can't help but look at her a few more times. The daughter: "What are you looking at? Do you find it interesting? Are you like this when my mother is not around?" The father's face turned red. : "Eat quickly and stop talking nonsense, or I won't take you out in the future!" The daughter muttered: "They say that the daughter was my father's lover in his previous life. I don't understand. How did I fall in love with you in my previous life?

16. Visitors enter a temple. Monk: Donate any amount. Guest: I don’t have any money. Let’s do it next time. Monk: It’s okay. We can pay by card. Guest: Sorry, I don’t have a card. Bring it. Monk: We can get a loan with a monthly interest of only 3%. Customer: Sorry, there is nothing to pledge. Monk: ...Please, please fill out this organ donation form...

17. The art teacher asked the students: "Why did you hand in a blank paper?" The student said: "I drew it!" What I drew was a cow eating grass. The teacher asked: "Where is the grass?" He said: "Been eaten by cows." The teacher asked: "What about the cow?" He said: "After eating grass, I left." "

18. At the door of a house, a salesman kept insisting: "I believe there must be something you can use, such as brushes, spoons, pencils, kitchen knives, washbasins... ..." The housewife replied very boredly: "No, I have everything. Finally, the salesman took out a small printed card and said, "Well, you always need one of these at home!" The housewife looked at it and saw it read: "No knocking on doors!" "

19. After the father put his son to bed, he returned to his bedroom to prepare for bed. "Dad! "My son shouted. "Can you get me a glass of water? ""Didn't you drink just now? Go to sleep, I've turned off the lights! "In 5 minutes..." Dad! I'm thirsty, can't you get me a cup? " "Didn't I just say it? You ask me to beat you again! "Another five minutes passed..."Dad! "What's the matter?" "Be sure to bring a glass of water when you come here to beat me up." ”

20. After graduating from college, I interned in a hospital. After completing a small operation under the guidance of a doctor, I was thinking about some precautions during the operation and walked out of the operating room with my head lowered. At this time, my family members gathered around me. When I asked about the situation, I didn't know why. I remembered the plot that often happened on TV, so I opened my mouth and said, "We have tried our best..." All of a sudden, the family members started crying, and then I was punished. < /p>