My brother-in-law has lived in my house for three years and still hasn't moved out. I'll let my daughter-in-law say that my father-in-law is going to hit me. What should I do?

There is a classic line in the TV series Our Marriage:

"Love is different from marriage. There are only two people in love, but there are many people behind the marriage. Love can't afford to lose, marriage can't afford to lose. "

Both men and women, as long as they are married, should have a steelyard in their hearts: the small family newly formed with their relatives and everyone raised by their parents over the years know how to keep a balance between the two.

It doesn't mean that when you get married, you should concentrate on your own small family, let alone try your best to repay your parents' kindness.

Either way, the result is that the other half is disgusted and disgusted with themselves. They could have happy and sweet feelings, but they are also slowly tired in the dribs and drabs of life.

It is said that any happy and sweet marriage is the painstaking efforts of two people with heart. No one will definitely match anyone from the beginning. Most of the heart and mind are slowly accumulated in time.

02

I think most people have heard the words of raising children to prevent old age, whether from their parents or from others. However, this is more of a moral kidnapping.

Parents have children but don't raise them. Such parents are gossiped by others at most, and say that they have no conscience behind their backs.

Similarly, parents bring up their children, and children have no conscience and do not care for the elderly. Such a child is unfilial and will gossip behind others' backs.

However, once people fall into the emotional whirlpool, they are particularly afraid of hearing gossip about themselves and moral constraints imposed on themselves.

Su Mingzhe in the TV series "Everything is OK" is such a person, who obviously doesn't have that ability, but insists on being fat. After my mother died, I was worried that my neighbors would say I was unfilial, so I thought about taking my father over, regardless of my wife's feelings.

Instead of taking my father to live in America, I almost lost my marriage.

In fact, this kind of filial piety is not a reward for parents' kindness for many years, but a new burden thrown back to them, which affects their own happiness and also brings troubles to the lives of the elderly.

My mother told Lin Tianqi from an early age that no matter who she marries, don't forget this family (help more if you can), especially after Tianqi has a younger brother.

Vernon grew up as a good baby in the eyes of his parents and a filial daughter in the eyes of his neighbors. His parents basically listened to everything and rarely refused.

Tianqi's mother was 48 years old when she gave birth to her brother. At first, vernon's father didn't intend to have this child, but vernon's mother was stubborn and just wanted to have a child, so she gave birth with her.

I'm old, my body can't stand this toss, and I haven't nursed back to health after confinement, which leads to Tianqi's mother's poor health after giving birth to the second child.

Fortunately, Tianqi's parents' savings in recent years are enough to support their younger brother. Tianqi also has a job and can send some money to her parents every month.

03

In a twinkling, Lin Tianqi has reached the age of talking about marriage, and the object is Tianqi's company colleagues. Tianqi's parents can see that the boy is an honest man and his parents are retired workers. Good conditions, agreed to the marriage of two people.

I thought I could have a man who loves me and a lovely child after marriage, and live a happy and sweet life just like my mother, but I didn't expect to ruin my good day.

Catch up with Tianqi's brother to go to primary school. Vernon's mother wants him to study in the city. Tianqi just lives not far from that school. She wants Tianqi to help take care of her brother.

Vernon always takes everything from his parents' words, but when Vernon told her husband about it that day, her husband objected that it would be difficult to raise her and her children. Now, having another child is really hard. (Qi resigned at home the day after she got pregnant)

But I have promised my mother. At this time, I said no to her. Didn't that break her heart? Just Tian Qi lied to her husband:

"My mother said let my brother live in our house for a few days first, and then move out after finding a suitable house. My mother will also give my brother living expenses here. "

Since her mother-in-law said so, Tianqi's husband has nothing to say.

But as time went by, I still didn't see my mother-in-law pick up my brother-in-law. Vernon's husband began to get suspicious and asked about her.

"Didn't you say your mother found a house and took your brother away? It's been almost three years. Why don't you move out? Don't tell me your mother is busy and free. I heard your father say that your mother is idle at home. "

Seeing that her husband was about to see through her lies, Tianqi began to round up other lies, but in the end it got worse and worse.

Under the coercion and inducement of her husband, Tianqi told the truth. My brother lived here by himself, and his parents didn't give him living expenses. Tianqi's husband took the initiative to give her the salary card after getting married, and he didn't know how much money he had at home.

The anger in my heart made Tianqi's husband move his hand on her. Hearing the movement at her daughter's house, Tianqi's father rushed in and saw her son-in-law hitting her daughter's hand. Tianqi's father rolled up his sleeves to hit his son-in-law. Vernon's father came to the town to see a doctor and lived in her house.

04

I have read such a sentence:

"Don't let the person you love get me wrong, it is the most basic way for you to show respect to him. Not letting the person who likes you but you don't misunderstand is the bottom line of being a man. "

In fact, what we need most in our feelings is a clear heart, knowing what to do and what not to do, instead of being led by others like a fool.

If Tianqi can think of her husband and this small family, she should not take her brother away from her husband and regard this small family as her private property.

In marriage, a man can endure hardships for the woman he loves, but he can't stand the deception and indifference of his woman.

It is said that the married daughter and the spilled water, in fact, many times, women work hard to help their parents, and may not get their parents' thanks in the end, but they are justified and have nothing to be afraid of.

At any time, there must be a degree of filial piety, not to meet all the requirements of parents, but to repay the kindness of parents in parenting.

Sometimes, to understand which is more important, you should take care of your family first, and then help your family of origin. Of course, this kind of help can only be done with the permission of the other half, and you can't go it alone.