A classic joke about news broadcast?

One day, a foreigner next door suddenly knocked on my door and said, No, my TV is poisoned.

I said, what's the matter?

He said: It's all the same if I change my TV.

I looked at the time, and it happened to be 7: p.m.

I said, well, at this time every day, TV sets all over the country will be poisoned for half an hour.

1. XXX cordially met XXX at Diaoyutai State Guesthouse, and the host and guest held cordial and friendly talks;

2. ××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

3. Foreign Ministry spokesman XXX issued a statement on XXX, expressing regret, protesting and continuing to pay attention to XXX;

4. During the "Tenth Five-Year Plan" period, XXX key projects in China broke through XXX projects, created XXX benefits and realized XXX profits and taxes;

5. The village of ××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

6. ××××× Customs stepped up efforts to crack down on smuggling, cracked a particularly serious smuggling case, and seized ××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

7. Today is the anniversary of XXX, and people and students from all over China have taken to the streets to publicize and popularize XXX knowledge and strengthen XXX education.

8. The cause of the ×××× incident has been found out, and the responsible person has been criminally detained;

9. Today is the anniversary of XXX's birthday. XXX held a forum to discuss XXX in depth and cherish the memory of this XXX family.

1. People in ××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

11. The Congress of XXX adopted a XXX resolution with XXX votes for, XXX votes against and XXX abstentions;

12. ××××××××, please see "Interview in Focus" broadcast at 19: 45 tonight: "×××××××××".

Today's news broadcast is over. Goodbye, viewers!

The Wolf: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

tinker bell: good evening!

the wolf: I'm the wolf.

tinker bell: I'm tinker bell.

The Wolf: The main contents of this news broadcast are as follows:

Tinker Bell: laughing at the bitterness of the life altar owner, and cordially meeting the visiting station agent altar owner Tiger·woods and his party;

The big bad wolf: The altar master presided over the New Year's symposium of old comrades in the laughing world and delivered an important speech;

Tinker Bell: Special report: A series of reports on advanced people who have studied the theory of infatuation and the "eight viewpoints" of bitterness. Today's content is: our good director is in a fog;

The Wolf: "Moving Jokes Life 23" was announced.

Tinker Bell: In July, director of the Foreign Affairs Department Liu Huo made a speech on the issue that "some people listen to people's rough interference in the internal affairs of the laughing world in recent days" and made solemn representations.

The Wolf: The fifth interview with experts at the end of the year: "The irrigation situation of the cat's ear jar is remarkable";

Tinker Bell: Here are the details of this program.

Jokes: Never let children watch too much news broadcast or the composition will be written like this.

On the eve of Saturday, Liu Xiaohua, a class one student in Grade Five, asked for leave because of a cold. The class teacher instructed the class cadres to spontaneously organize a condolence visit to Liu Xiaohua's home < P >. The next day, the blackboard newspaper in the class published an article "News of the Class", the full text of which is as follows: < P > News of the Class pp Yesterday morning, the sun was shining and flowers were blooming. Liu Xiaohua's classmates' home was full of laughter and crowds. Accompanied by Ouyang Mengnan, member of physical education committee, and Li Meimei, member of recreation committee, Zhao Guan, head of Class 1, Grade 5, and Zhang Liaoliao, deputy monitor, went to the home of Liu Xiaohua, a member of Class 1 with a cold and a low fever, and brought greetings and best wishes to him.

Monitor Zhao and Vice Monitor Zhang visited Liu Xiaohua's small room with great interest, and played four sets of "Contra" games with great interest, having fun with ordinary students. Then, the class leader and Liu Xiaohua's parents cordially started a family affair. Monitor Zhao also happily recalled that he and Liu Xiaohua started cheating together last year. During the conversation, Monitor Zhao repeatedly stressed with concern: "If Liu Xiaohua is ill, don't do your homework. Have a good

rest, health is the capital of the revolution! " Liu Xiaohua said excitedly, "Thank you for your concern! I must overcome my illness, overcome all difficulties, and return to the warm collective and dear teachers and classmates as soon as possible! "

Then, Monitor Zhao and his party kicked the shuttlecock in front of Liu Xiaohua's house with great interest. The blue sky is like washing, and the birds are also infected by this collective warmth, chirping and singing a better life.

At noon, Dad Liu bought delicious and visible brand of beef jerky and cool and delicious freshly squeezed orange juice for a banquet for Monitor Zhao and his party. During the dinner, < P >, the host and the guest had in-depth and pleasant bilateral talks on whether eating two popsicles in a row would upset the stomach of primary school students.

The following is a classic post

1. The talks were always held in a cordial and friendly atmosphere-adding a sentence for the landlord

2. The students reached a wide range of public knowledge about Liu Xiaohua's disease.

3. And admit that there is only one school in the world, and the class is an inseparable part of the school.

4. Liu Xiaohua said that he would arm himself with the great thought of "three Dai Biao" to resist the disease.

5. We should closely unite around the class group with the head teacher as the center, concentrate on study and concentrate on a certain development ...

6. Liu Xiaohua fought against the disease with unnecessary heroism, and has achieved staged victory at present, and her health has further developed in a good direction.

7. Accompanying the visit was Comrade Zhang Erdan, a representative of the physics class and former deputy director of the Health Duty Committee.

8. In order to cooperate with this visit, the school leaders specially went to the Telecommunications Bureau to open a hotline number of 168XXXXX, so as to facilitate other students who can't go to

spontaneously to express their condolences to Liu Xiaohua, including how Xiaohua got sick, what disease he got, and whether he could be cured. The person who answers correctly

will be rewarded with a small red flower ...

9. In principle, the Minute of Consolation about the Illness of Liu Xiaohua will be passed and distributed to the class teachers to study and discuss carefully

1. We should firmly grasp the fundamental point of taking medicine, so that Liu Xiaohua students can really enjoy the results of condolences from classmates and teachers, and strive to achieve a continuous reduction of diseases

bacteria. The outline of the class's grade plan this semester puts forward that the students' academic performance will increase by about 5% during this semester, which is an extremely arduous task. To achieve this expected goal, we need not only to continue to work in a down-to-earth manner, but also to have new ideas and measures.

11. According to XX School in XX City, May 25th, when the students attending Liu Xiaohua's condolence meeting of Class One, Grade Five, discussed the report of Comrade Zhao Monitor in groups,

they thought that Comrade Zhao's exposition on the important strategic opportunity period in the first year of this class and concentrating on building an excellent class in an all-round way expressed the * * * knowledge of the whole class, represented the wishes of the parents of the whole class, and further enhanced our sense of historical mission and urgency. Combining with the actual work, the participant < P > said that we must firmly grasp the important strategic opportunity period in the first semester of this year, accelerate the study of English learning and Chinese composition system, complete the four main courses (Language, Mathematics and English Politics) of the whole class, and work hard to build an excellent class in the whole school.

12. The monitor immediately instructed the Health Committee to strictly control the hygiene to prevent such accidents from happening again.

13. The monitor said that this year marks the third anniversary of the establishment of diplomatic relations between Liu Xiaohua and me. Over the past three years, with the concerted efforts of both sides, the friendship has continued to develop. The two

families have close contacts, and parties and exchanges have become increasingly active. The development of the relationship between the two sides benefits from mutual respect, mutual trust and non-interference in private affairs. Economically mutual benefit, complementary advantages and common development; In class affairs, we all follow the purpose of the school charter and the recognized basic principle of classmate relationship < P >, and promote peace, stability and development of both parties and classes.