Joke, speed! ! ! !

It's terrible. It's not just my own bad luck. Even whoever is good to me and I am good to him will be unlucky.

1. When I was born, it happened that the midwife was lovelorn. Because I didn't cry the first time, she beat me up.

When I was one year old, I just learned to crawl and walked around the house. I found a mousetrap under the bed. It is said that the mousetrap has been bought for two years, and it was my hand that caught me for the first time.

I learned to walk when I was two years old. Play hide-and-seek with my parents at home. I hid under the bed and stepped on another mousetrap. It is said that this mousetrap has been bought back for three years, and it was my leg that was caught for the first time.

When I was three years old, I wanted to go down the stairs. Mrs. Zhang next door said that she would lead me downstairs in order not to fall. As a result, she fell down the stairs before she finished. From the fourth floor to the first floor, you can directly enter the stage of Alzheimer's disease.

When I was four years old, my uncle, a policeman, led me across the street. I didn't say thank you. He was hit by a motorcycle crossing the street and was disabled for the first time.

When I was five years old, my father sent me to kindergarten. My aunt in kindergarten praised me for my beauty. I just finished, a vase fell from the fifth floor and hit my aunt's skull directly.

When I was six years old, I went to the zoo for the first time. I said, that male panda looks better than that female panda. The next day, the panda I praised died in childbirth.

When I was seven years old, I went to primary school. In the final exam, the math teacher said that I got 59 points, even if I got 60 points. The next day, the math teacher died in a car accident.

When I was eight years old, I praised the girls in our class for being so beautiful. Five minutes later, the girl caught a rare meteor shower.

10. When I was nine years old, I learned to rob. I robbed a five-year-old child on the road. As a result, he gave him a good beating He claimed to be a lay disciple of Shaolin Temple.

1 1. When I was ten years old, I went to the toilet with Xiao Pang. Xiao Pang praised me for being handsome in the toilet. I was just about to say thank you. Xiao Pang fell into the toilet.

12. When I was eleven years old, my teacher asked me how much it was for Sanqi, and I said Sanqi 21. The teacher said, you are so smart. Then, the rare meteor shower came again. ...

13. Twelve years old, primary school graduation exam. The invigilator said to me, hurry up, there is not much time. I said, thank you for reminding me. Just then, the electric fan above the teacher fell off. ...

14. When I was thirteen years old, I went to junior high school. My previous experience scared no one near me. Only a so-called bold classmate Wang Xing told me: I don't believe you can recite like this. In the afternoon, Wang Dan was chased by two bulls for eight blocks.

15. At the age of fourteen, the teacher asked us to write a composition entitled "Our Bridge". I mentioned in my composition that the bridge in the city is magnificent ... The next day, when I went to class, I found that the bridge suddenly collapsed.

16. When I was fifteen, I fell in love with a girl. I dare not say, for fear of hurting her. But I can't help myself. Finally, I chose a sunny day and confessed to her in the open-air playground of the school. According to the weather forecast, there will never be a meteor shower that day. But when I confessed, the earthquake happened, and I watched the girl cry and fall into the crack. ...

17. When I was sixteen, I was in high school. I like playing football, and the goalkeeper praised me for playing well. So the target suddenly collapsed. ...

18. When I was seventeen, I followed the crowd to watch a scene of jumping off a building. As a result, I was crushed by him ... Two months later, he and I were both discharged from the hospital. At the gate of the inpatient department, he said thank you for saving him. So he was crushed by another jumper, and he didn't survive this time ...

19. When I was eighteen, I came of age. The first time I went to the bank to withdraw money, I met a bank robber. The lady at the counter said, shh … don't make any noise, or the robbers will kill people. As soon as the voice fell, the lady at the counter was twisted by the robbers. ...

20. 19 years old, the head teacher of the university encouraged me to study hard and make progress every day. As a result, the meteor shower that has not been seen for many years has come again. ...

When I was 20 years old, I told my classmates that flying is safer than taking the train. So, the plane began to descend. ...

When I was twenty-one, I told my father that if I had the chance, I would definitely visit the American Twin Towers. So, 9 1 1 happened. ...

On 23rd 22nd, I made a bet with my colleagues that China would definitely get good results in the World Cup. therefore ...

Later, I was invited to attend a national seminar with the theme "Why am I so unlucky?" . When I submitted my story to the organizing committee, the theme became "Why am I so lucky". I'll sit in.